Lapho Ukushaywa Kuyonqamuka Khona
KUHLEHLELA emuva kangakanani emlandweni ukuphathwa kabi kwamakhosikazi? Omunye umthombo ulandisa ngalokho okucatshangelwa njengomthetho owawubhaliwe wangasekuqaleni impela, wangonyaka ka-2500 B.C.E., owawuvumela amadoda ukuba ashaye amakhosikazi awo.
Ngo-1700 B.C.E., uHammurabi, inkosi eyiqaba yaseBabiloni, wakha iNhlangano Yemithetho kaHammurabi edumile, eyayinamalungiselelo angokomthetho cishe angama-300 okwakuqondiswa ngawo abantu. Inhlanganisela yemithetho yakumemezela ngokomthetho ukuthi inkosikazi kwakumelwe ibe ngaphansi kokuqondisa kwendoda yayo ngokuphelele, eyayinelungelo elingokomthetho lokuyijezisela noma yikuphi ukona.
Uma kuziwa nganeno esikhathini soMbuso wamaRoma, iNhlanganisela Yemithetho yamaRoma kaPaterfamilias yathi: “Uma ungase uthole umkakho ephinga, ungakhululeka ukuba umbulale ngaphandle kokuthetha icala, kodwa uma ungase uphinge noma wenze isenzo esibi, akumelwe afune ngisho nokukubeka isandla, nomthetho awukuvumeli.”
Incwadi encane eneziyalezo zomshado eyabhalwa ngekhulu le-15 leminyaka leSikhathi sethu Esivamile yaluleka amadoda aye abona amakhosikazi awo enza okubi ukuba ‘okokuqala awabhozomele futhi awenze esabe,’ bese ‘ethatha induku owadinde ngayo.’
ENgilandi, izikhulu ezimisa imithetho zekhulu le-19 leminyaka zazama ukunciphisa ukuhlushwa kwabesifazane ngokunquma ngokomthetho ukuthi induku kumelwe ibe ngakanani. Benza lokho okwakwaziwa njengesimiso somthetho wesithupha sesandla, owawuvumela indoda ukuba ishaye umkayo ngenduku “engengaphezu kwesithupha sayo.”
Nakuba emazweni amaningi namuhla amadoda engasavikelwe yimithetho ngokushaya amakhosikazi, lamasiko angokomlando asaqhubeka ezingxenyeni eziningi zomhlaba. Ngokombiko wezindaba zesiteshi seTV iCBS, iBrazil iyizwe lapho abesifazane bengamagugu athandwayo ngamadoda. Nokho ngokuphambene, babuye behliswe isithunzi, baphathwe kabi, bayashaywe, futhi babulawe ngokungenamahloni. Umbiko waqhubeka, ukuziphatha okunjalo kubonakala kuwo wonke amazinga omphakathi, kuhlanganise nezinkantolo zomthetho, lapho “ivikela udumo lwayo,” indoda ingase ibulale futhi ingajeziswa ikakhulukazi uma isisulu singumkayo. Umsakazi wathi: “Abaningi ababulali abasiwo amadoda angafundile kunalokho bangamadoda afundile, anemisebenzi ayifundele.”
‘Ukuvikela komuntu udumo’ kungabangelwa ukwephulwa okuncane kakhulu komthetho wendoda—ukungakulethi ukudla ngesikhathi, ukuhamba wedwa, ukuthola umsebenzi noma iziqu zaseYunivesithi, noma ukwehluleka “ukuvumelana nazo zonke izindlela zobuhlobo bobulili efuna ukuzisebenzisa.”
Umthetho KaNkulunkulu Nombono WobuKristu
Umthetho kaNkulunkulu ukwenza kucace ukuthi amadoda kumelwe ‘athande omkawo, njengalokho noKristu elithandile ibandla. . . . Kanjalo amadoda afanele ukuthanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo. Othanda umkakhe uzithanda yena. Ngokuba akakho owake wazonda eyakhe inyama, kepha uyayondla, ayiphathe kahle.’ (Efesu 5:25, 28, 29) Lomthetho wedlula yonke imithetho yomuntu, yesikhathi esidlule nekhona.
Ngokuqinisekile ayikho indoda engumKristu engaphikisa ngokuthi isamthanda umkayo ibe imphatha kabi. Ingabe ophatha kabi inkosikazi ubengazishaya yena—azidonse ngezinwele futhi azishaye ngesibhakela ebusweni nasemzimbeni ngenxa yokuthi uzithanda ngempela? Ingabe oshaya inkosikazi ubatshela ngokukhululekile abanye—amalungu omkhaya angahlali ekhaya, abangane, namanye amaKristu—ukuthi ngezikhathi ezihlukahlukene uyoshaya umkakhe, amzwise ubuhlungu obungokomzimba, ngenxa yokuthi umthanda kakhulu? Noma, kunalokho ingabe uyosongela umkakhe ukuze angatsheli muntu? Ingabe abantwana bafungiswa ubaba wabo ukuba bangatsheli abanye ngokuphatha kabi kwakhe? Noma ingabe banamahloni okwenza kanjalo? Ingabe izenzo zakhe aziphikisani nalokho akushoyo kokuthi uyamthanda ngempela umkakhe? Uthando lomunye nomunye lungokwemvelo. Ukuphathwa kabi kwamakhosikazi akulona.
Ekugcineni, uma indoda engumKristu ishaya umkayo, ingabe akwenzi ukuba yonke eminye imisebenzi yayo yobuKristu ibe yize phambi kukaNkulunkulu? Khumbula, “isilwi” asiwafanelekeli amalungelo ebandleni lobuKristu. (1 Thimothewu 3:3; 1 Korinte 13:1-3; Efesu 5:28) Imibiko ibonisa ukuthi ukushaywa kwamadoda amakhosikazi awo nakho kugcwele kulesimiso sezinto. Ingabe imibuzo efanayo ngeke isebenze kumakhosikazi anjalo?
Yeka ukuthi kubaluleke kanjani ngamadoda namakhosikazi ukuba babonise izithelo zomoya ekuphileni kwabo bobabili manje: “uthando, nokujabula, nokuthula, nokubekezela, nobubele, nobuvi, nokukholeka, nobumnene nokuzithiba”! (Galathiya 5:22, 23) Uma singase siveze lezithelo manje, singaba nethemba lokuphila kulowomhlaba oyiPharadesi lapho bonke beyophila ndawonye ngokuthula nangothando olungenakuphela.
[Isithombe ekhasini 30]
Amadoda angamaKristu ‘athanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo,’ okusho ukuthi “Akukho Kushaywa Okuvunyelwe!”