Ukuhlakulela Imikhuba Emihle YobuKristu Ezweni Elingenayo Imikhuba Emihle
“Bheka, kuhle, kumnandi kangaka ukuba abazalwane bahlalisane ndawonye bemunye.”—IHUBO 133:1.
1. Kwenzekeni emikhubeni emihle?
“IMIKHUBA emihle iye yaphela kuleminyaka engama-25 edlule,” kusho umhleli uAnn Landers. “Akukhona nje ukuthi abesilisa abasabavuleli abesifazane iminyango yezimoto noma abasabaniki izindawo zokuhlala ezitobhini noma emabhasini. Kujulé kakhulu kunalokho.” Ngempela, yonke indawo esibheka kuyo, singabubona ubufakazi bokuthi siphila ezweni eliqhubeka lilahlekelwa imikhuba emihle. Abantu bayangenela emigqeni, bayabhema emakheshini aminyene, badlala umculo obanga umsindo ezindaweni zomphakathi, nokunye. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwansuku zonke kusitshela ukuthi naphezu kwamathuba emfundo athuthukisiwe nezinga lokuphila, eyethu inkathi ikakhulukazi iyinkathi lapho ukuthi Ngiyabonga nokuthi Ngiyacela sekungamagama angaziwa, futhi inhlonipho evamile nesizotha kulitshelwe ngabaningi.
2. Kungani ukuntuleka kwemikhuba emihle namuhla kungamangazi?
2 Ingabe konke lokhu kuyamangalisa? Akunjalo ngempela. Kumane nje kukhumbuza ngalokho umphostoli uPawulu aphefumlelwa ukuba akusho ngokuziphatha kwabantu ‘ezinsukwini zokugcina’ lapho “kuzakuvela izikhathi ezinzima.” Phakathi kwezinye izinto, uPawulu wabikezela ukuthi abantu bayakuba “ngabazithandayo, . . . nabanamawala, nabakhukhumele, . . . nabangabongiyo, . . . nabangenaluthando, . . . nabangazithibi.” (2 Thimothewu 3:1-3) Ngisho nokubheka nje okuvamile kuyokwembula ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo kwandile namuhla phakathi kwabantu babo bonke ubudala, isigaba, nobuzwe. Kungani kunjalo? Ziyini izimbangela ezinesandla ekuntulekeni okuvamile kwemikhuba emihle?
Izimbangela Zemikhuba Emibi
3. ‘Umoya’ walesimiso uyithuthukisa kanjani imikhuba emibi?
3 Amazwi athi ‘abazithandayo’ asichaza kahle “isizukulwane esizazisayo,” esibhekisela kulabo abakhuliswe kugcizelelwa kubo ukuphikelela, ukwehluka, nokuzibonakalisa. Lomoya, ogcwele ‘emoyeni’ osizungezile, uphikisana ngokuqondile neseluleko seBhayibheli sokuthi amaKristu “angabheki [okwawo], kepha yilowo nalowo abheke nokwabanye.” (Efesu 2:2, 3; Filipi 2:4) Uba yini umphumela? Ngokuqinisekile isizukulwane esikhuliswe ngomqondo wokuthi ‘yenza into yakho’ ngeke sibe nandaba nokuthi ukuziphatha kwaso kuyobathinta kanjani abanye.
4. Babhekwa kanjani namuhla labo abephula izindinganiso ezamukelekayo, futhi kufanele ube yini umbono womKristu ngalendaba?
4 Into eyayinengxenye enkulu ekulondolozeni izinga elithile lesizotha phakathi kwabantu kwakuwukucindezela kontanga. Ukukhathalela ukuthi abanye bazocabangani bekulokhu kungamandla avimbelayo. Nokho, namuhla lapho isenzo esithile singesethusayo futhi singesibi ngokwesabekayo, yilapho ngokunokwenzeka siyothandwa kakhulu abantu abaningi. Labo abangazinaki izindinganiso ezamukelekayo abasabhekwa njengabanemikhuba emibi noma abaluhlaza kodwa abahambisana nemfashini noma abanolwazi ngezinto zomhlaba, okumelwe banconywe kakhulu. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi igama elisho “ukuba nolwazi ngezinto zomhlaba” lisho ‘ukungabi sesimweni semvelo, noma esimsulwa.’ Livela emsukeni ofanayo wesiGreki ohunyushwe ngokuthi ‘ubuqili’ kweyesi-2 Petru 1:16. Ngokuqinisekile, amaKristu eqiniso ayobe enza kahle ngokuxwaya isimo sengqondo esinjalo.
5. Isiphi esinye isici esinengxenye ekuwohlokeni kwemikhuba emihle?
5 “Ngenxa yokuba ububi obenziwayo bungahlulelwa masinyane, ngalokho izinhliziyo zamadodana abantu phakathi kwawo zigcwele ukwenza okubi,” kusho umShumayeli 8:11. Silapha esinye isici esinengxenye ekuntulekeni kwemikhuba emihle yasobala. Ngenxa yokuthi abantu bakuthola kulula ukona kodwa bangajeziswa, baba abangasenamizwa ngokwephula izindinganiso ezamukelekayo zokuziphatha. “Izakhamuzi obekungazethusa ngokuphelele ukuba zivezwe obala njengengxenye ephula umthetho nokho ziye zazephula obala kalula zonke izinhlobo zemithetho—imithetho yomgwaqo, imithetho yezidakamizwa, imithetho yokungcolisa,” kusho uhlelo lweNew York Times. Ngenxa yalokho, “ubushinga, ubudlova, nokubhala izindonga” konke sekube ingxenye esingenakuyibalekela yokuphila kwethu kwansuku zonke. Kanjalo, isizotha, kanye nokuhlonipha amalungelo abanye abantu, impahla yabo, nezindaba zomuntu siqu, kuncipha ngokwengeziwe.
6. Ukuphila okumatasa kuyithinta kanjani imikhuba yabantu, futhi uJesu wayehluke kanjani kulesisici?
6 Njengoba imikhuba emihle ngokuvamile ibhekwa njengephakathi kwezici ezincane ekuphileni, ikhohlakala kalula lapho abantu bejahile—futhi abantu abaningi babonakala bejahile isikhathi esiningi namuhla. Ngenxa yalokho, badlulana ngaphandle kwezwi noma ushintsho ebusweni. Bayadudula basunduze emigqeni, noma baphume bengena ngokujaha emizileni yemigwaqo ukuze nje bonge imizuzu noma imizuzwana embalwa. Ngokuvamile, abantu baba matasa kangako ngezindaba zabo siqu, noma izimiso zabo zinezinto eziningi kakhulu okumelwe bazenze, kangangokuthi noma isiphi isenzakalo noma isivakashi esingalindelekile siba yisidina noma isiphazamiso. Cabanga ukuthi lokhu kuhluke kanjani endleleni uJesu asabela ngayo kubantu ababeza kuye ngisho nangezikhathi ezingezinhle.—Marku 7:24-30; Luka 9:10, 11; 18:15, 16; Johane 4:5-26.
7. Yini amaKristu eqiniso okumelwe ayiqaphele ngokuqondene nemikhuba emihle?
7 Ngisho noma siphila ezweni elinejubane, futhi okufuna isikhathi sethu namandla ethu kwanda njalo, ukuvumela ukucindezela okunjalo ukuba kusenze siziphathe ngokwedelela ngokuqinisekile ngeke kwenze izinto zibe ngcono. Ngokuphambene, inkambo enjalo iholela ebudloveni obuningi kangaka obungenangqondo esizwa ngabo—izimpikiswano, ukulwa, izingxabano, ngisho nokubulala—okuwumphumela wokuphindisela kwabantu indelelo ngendelelo. Konke lokhu kuyingxenye yomoya wezwe amaKristu eqiniso okungamelwe abe yingxenye yalo.—Johane 17:14; Jakobe 3:14-16.
Izibonelo Eziphakeme Zemikhuba Emihle
8. Nakuba ezungezwe abantu abangenayo imikhuba emihle, amaKristu akhuthazwa ukuba enzeni?
8 Njengoba sizungezwe abantu ababonisa ukubacabangela okuncane abanye, kulula ukuvumela ukucindezeleka futhi sivumele imikhuba emihle isiphunyuke. Nokho, ngokukhumbula ukuyala kweBhayibheli kokuba ‘singalingisi lelizwe,’ singabheka ezibonelweni eziningi ezivelele eziseBhayibhelini futhi silwele ukulondoloza izindinganiso eziphakeme zemikhuba emihle yobuKristu ezweni lanamuhla elingenayo imikhuba emihle. (Roma 12:2, 21; Mathewu 5:16) Izenzo zethu kufanele zibonise ukuthi sivumelana ngenhliziyo yonke nomhubi owathi: “Bheka, kuhle, kumnandi kangaka ukuba abazalwane bahlalisane ndawonye bemunye.”—IHubo 133:1.
9. ImiBhalo yembulani ngendlela kaJehova yokusebenzelana nabantu?
9 Isibonelo esiphambili ekuboniseni imikhuba emihle uMdali noYise wabo bonke, uJehova uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe. Kuvamile ngalabo abasezikhundleni eziphakeme noma abanegunya phezu kwabanye ukuba babathonye futhi bafune ngenkani ukuba izifiso zabo zihlonishwe. Nokho, uMuntu ophakeme kunabo bonke endaweni yonke, uJehova uNkulunkulu, ngaso sonke isikhathi unemikhuba emihle lapho esebenzelana nalabo abangaphansi kwakhe. Lapho enikeza umngane wakhe uAbrahama isithembiso, wathi: “[Ngiyakucela, NW] phakamisa manje amehlo akho, ubuke usendaweni lapho umi khona.” Waphinda futhi: “[Ngiyakucela, NW] bheka ngasezulwini, ubale izinkanyezi.” (Genesise 13:14; 15:5) Lapho enikeza uMose uphawu lwamandla aKhe, uNkulunkulu wathi: “[Ngiyakucela, NW] faka isandla sakho esifubeni sakho.” (Eksodusi 4:6) Eminyakeni eminingi kamuva, uJehova, ngomprofethi wakhe uMika, washo lokhu ngisho nakubantu bakhe abanenkani: “[Ngiyanicela, NW] zwanini nina-zinhloko zakwaJakobe, nani-zikhulu zendlu yakwaIsrayeli. . . . [Ngiyanicela, NW] ake nizwe lokhu nina-zinhloko.” (Mika 3:1, 9) Ingabe, kulokhu, siye saba “ngabalingisa uNkulunkulu” ekutheni ‘Ngicela’ lapho sisebenzelana nabanye?—Efesu 5:1.
10, 11. (a) Yini engashiwo ngezindlela nangemikhuba kaJesu emihle? (b) Singamlingisa kanjani uJesu ekubeni nemikhuba emihle kubo bonke abantu?
10 UJesu Kristu, ‘osesifubeni sikaYise,’ ungesinye isibonelo esivelele esifanele ukulingiswa. (Johane 1:18) Lapho esebenzelana nabantu, wayenomusa nesihawu ngakolunye uhlangothi, enamandla futhi eqinile ngakolunye; kodwa akakaze adelele noma abe nonya kunoma ubani. Ikhulumela “isiphiwo sakhe esingavamile sokukhululeka kuzo zonke izinhlobo zabantu,” incwadi ethi The Man From Nazareth ithi: “Ngokufanayo obala nangasese wayehlangana namadoda nabesifazane ngendlela efanayo. Wayekhululekile kubantwana abancane ebumsulweni babo futhi ngokumangalisayo wayekhululekile futhi uma ephakathi kwamaqili alahlwa onembeza anjengoZakewu. Abesifazane abahloniphekile abangabaphathi bemizi, njengoMariya noMarta, babekwazi ukukhuluma naye ngokukhululeka kwemvelo, kodwa nezifebe zazimfuna sengathi ziqinisekile ukuthi wayeyoziqonda futhi abe nobungane kuzo . . . Ukungayiboni kwakhe okungavamile imingcele eyayivimbela abantu abavamile kungenye yezimfanelo zakhe ezimphawulayo kakhulu.”
11 Ukuphatha bonke abantu ngenhlonipho ebafanele nangokubacabangela kuwuphawu lomuntu onemikhuba emihle ngempela, futhi siyokwenza kahle uma silingisa uJesu Kristu kulokhu. Nokho, abantu abaningi bayakwazi ukuba ngabahloniphayo kwabathile, ikakhulukazi labo abasezikhundleni eziphakeme kunabo. Kodwa kulabo ababacabangela njengabangaphansi kwabo noma ngisho nabasezingeni elifanayo nelabo, ngokuvamile bayaziqhenya, bangabi nabungane, futhi babe ngabadelelayo. Ngandlela-thile lokho kubonakala kubanikeza umuzwa wokuba bakhulu nokuba namandla. Kodwa kuye kwashiwo kahle ukuthi “ukudelela kuwukulingisa amandla kwendoda engenamandla.” Kanjalo, iBhayibheli liyakhuthaza: “Ekwazisaneni nandulelane.” (Roma 12:10) Uma senza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuba silandele lesoseluleko, ngeke sibe kude nokuba nemikhuba emihle kubo bonke abantu, njengoba uJesu ayenjalo.
12. Uyini umongo wemfundiso kaJesu ngokusebenzelana kwabantu?
12 Lemfanelo enhle, ethinta abantu abaningi iyabonakala nasezimfundisweni zikaJesu, ikakhulukazi kulokho okuthiwa uMthetho Oyigolide. “Ngakho-ke konke nokungakanani enifuna ukuba abantu bakwenze kini, kwenzeni nani kanjalo kubo.” (Mathewu 7:12) Ngokuthakazelisayo, kuyiAnalects, enye yezincwadi zeFour Books zikaConfucius—osekuyisikhathi eside icatshangelwa njengemelele ukuziphatha okuphelele eMpumalanga—umfundisi wabuzwa omunye wabafundi bakhe ukuthi lalikhona yini igama elilodwa elalingasebenza njengesimiso sokuziphatha kukho konke ukuphila. Umfundisi waphendula ngokuthi “mhlawumbe igama elithi ‘ukubuyiselana’ (shu) lingasebenza,” wayesenezela: “Ungakwenzi kwabanye lokho ongafuni ukuba bakwenze kuwe.” Ngokuphambene, singakubona kalula ukuphakama kwemfundiso kaJesu. Ngoba ubuhlobo obufudumele, obujabulisayo, nobunokuthula bungaba khona kuphela lapho umuntu ethatha isinyathelo sokuqala ‘sokwenza kwabanye’ okuhle.
Imikhuba Emihle YobuKristu Esekelwe Othandweni LobuKristu
13, 14. (a) Yini eye yaqashelwa muva nje ngemikhuba yasobala? (b) Yini eyabangela isithakazelo esikhona manje emikhubeni emihle nasebucikweni bokuziphatha?
13 Ngenxa yokwanda kwemikhuba emibi, namuhla kukhona inkulumo ephathelene nokubuyela ekuziphatheni okufanele. “Sahlubuka emikhubeni emihle ngawo-1960,” kusho uMarjabelle Stewart, uthisha nombhali othandwayo walendaba, “kodwa inguquko entsha iyayibuyisela. Abantu bayakuqaphela ukubaluleka kwayo futhi bafuna ukwazi ukuthi ziyini izindinganiso zokuziphatha emphakathini.” Lesithakazelo esivuselelwe emikhubeni emihle sibonakala ekwandeni kwezincwadi, izincwajana, izinhlu zezeluleko, nemibukiso yezingxoxo yakuyiTV ephathelene nakho konke kusukela ekutheni iyiphi imfologo okumelwe isetshenziswe emcimbini ohloniphekile kuya endleleni yokukhuluma nomuntu ebuhlotsheni banamuhla bezokuhlalisana nobomkhaya obuyinkimbinkimbi nobuguquka ngokushesha.
14 Nokho, kungani abanye abantu beyikhathalela ngokwengeziwe imikhuba emihle? “Emphakathini wanamuhla oncintisanayo,” kuchaza uStewart, “ukuba nemikhuba emihle kuyindlela yokuphumelela.” Ngamanye amazwi, imikhuba emihle ibhekwa njengendlela yokusiza umuntu ukuba aqhubeke futhi afinyelele phambili. Ngakho abantu bafunda izincwadi futhi bahamba amakilasi afundisa ubuciko bokuziphatha ukuze bafunde indlela yokugqokela ukuphumelela, indlela yokuhlaba umxhwele, indlela yokwamukeleka emikhandlwini, njalonjalo.a Inkinga ngakho konke lokhu iwukuthi imikhuba emihle isibe indaba yokufanelekela isimo, njengesembozo umuntu asifaka phakathi nomdlalo bese esikhumula lapho usuphelile. Ngakho-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi njalo sizwa ngobugebengu obethusayo bomshoshaphansi obenziwa abantu ‘abakhuliswe’ kahle ‘nabesigaba’ esiphakeme.
15, 16. (a) Sithini esinye isazi semikhuba emihle ‘nemithetho emihle kakhulu yokuziphatha’? (b) Eyoku-1 Korinte 13:4-7 ihlobene kanjani nemikhuba emihle yobuKristu beqiniso?
15 Lokho kukude kakhulu nalokho imikhuba emihle okufanele ibe yikho. UAmy Vanderbilt, isazi esihlonishwayo salendaba, encwadini yakhe iNew Complete Book of Etiquette uyabhala: “Imithetho emihle kakhulu yokuziphatha itholakala esahlukweni se-13 seyokuQala kwabaseKorinte, ukuningiliza okuhle kukaSt. Paul ngokuphathelene nesihawu. Lemithetho ayihlangene nalutho nemicikilisho emincanyana yokugqoka noma naleyomikhuba yokuziphatha yokumbuluza. Ihlangene nemizwa nezimo zengqondo, umusa, nokucabangela abanye.”
16 Yiqiniso, lokho uAmy Vanderbilt ayebhekisele kukho indima ekweyoku-1 Korinte 13:4-7 lapho uPawulu echaza ngokuningiliza izici ezihlukahlukene zothando lobuKristu. Cabangela umphumela wamaphuzu ambalwa awaveza. Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu ‘obekezelayo, nomnene’ ngokuqinisekile uyoba nesineke futhi ahloniphe ekusebenzelaneni nabanye. Ukuthi “aluziphathi ngokungafanele” kungenye indlela yokuthi ‘luziphatha ngokufanele,’ futhi elithi “ngokufanele” lichazwa ngokuthi “ukuvumelana nezindinganiso zokuthandwayo, zokufanelekayo, noma zokuyimfanelo.” Kanjalo, njengoba iNew Testament in Modern English kaJ. B. Phillips iwubeka lomusho, “Uthando lunemikhuba emihle.” Kunzima ukucabanga nganoma ubani obonisa uthando olunjalo ebhekwa njengonemikhuba emibi.
17. Imikhuba yethu emihle ibonisani?
17 Khona-ke, ngokucacile imikhuba emihle yobuKristu ihlobene ngokuqondile nothando lobuKristu. Ayiyona nje indlela yokufinyelela umgomo othile noma into ethile egqokwayo lapho kuyomzuzisa umuntu ukwenza kanjalo. Kunalokho, imikhuba yethu emihle—indlela esisebenzelana ngayo nabanye, ukuziphatha kwethu okungumkhuba—iyisibonakaliso sokuthi sibakhathalela kangakanani abanye abantu nesokujula kothando lwethu ngabo. Sibasha noma sibadala, kufanele silwele ukulalela iseluleko seBhayibheli: “Akungabikho ozifunela okwakhe, kodwa akube-yilowo nalowo afunele omunye.” (1 Korinte 10:24) Kanjalo, njengesici sothando lobuKristu, imikhuba emihle yobuKristu iwuphawu olubonakalisa abafundi bakaJesu Kristu beqiniso.—Johane 13:35.
Ukuba Nemikhuba Emihle Ngazo Zonke Izikhathi
18. Yini okufanele sizimisele ukuyenza naphezu kwalokho esikubona nxazonke zethu?
18 Ngokuqondene nesizukulwane sethu, uJesu wabikezela ukuthi “ngenxa yokwanda kokubi kuzakuphola uthando lwabaningi.” (Mathewu 24:12) Lokhu kuphola kothando kubonakala ngokucacile esimweni sengqondo sokunganaki nesobugovu esikubantu abaningi kangaka namuhla. Nokho, kunokuba senziwe ukuba sisabele ngendlela efanayo yokunganaki sidinga ukusikhumbula njalo iseluleko sikaPawulu: “Ningaphindiseli-muntu okubi ngokubi; nakani okuhle phambi kwabantu bonke; uma kungenzeka, ngokwenu hlalisanani ngokuthula nabantu bonke.” (Roma 12:17, 18) Kufanele sizimisele ukuba nemikhuba emihle ngazo zonke izikhathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imizamo yethu iyaziswa noma cha.—Mathewu 5:43-47.
19. Imikhuba yethu emihle izithinta kanjani zonke izici zokuphila?
19 Yebo, imikhuba emihle yobuKristu iwukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kwemvelo kothando nokukhathalela abanye esinakho ezinhliziyweni zethu. Njengoba nje inkulumo yethu yembula lokho esiyikho ngaphakathi, kanjalo imikhuba yethu ibonisa ukuthi sibakhathalela kangakanani abanye noma asibakhathaleli. (Mathewu 12:34, 35) Kanjalo, imikhuba emihle kufanele ibe nengxenye ebalulekile kuzo zonke izici zokuphila kwethu. Kufanele ibe indlela yethu yokuphila. Kufanele isetshenziswe kanjani ngokugcwele ngokwengeziwe? Imikhuba emihle yobuKristu ingathuthukiswa kanjani ngokugcwele ngokwengeziwe? Sizokucabangela lokhu esihlokweni esilandelayo.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Igama elisho ubuciko bokuziphatha, “etiquette,” livela emsukeni wesiFulentshi osho ithikithi noma isigqebhezana. Incwadi ethi Word Origins and Their Romantic Stories, kaWilfred Funk, iyachaza: “Imithetho yokuqala ye-etiquette yayinanyatheliselwe ezindaweni ezisobala ezigxotsheni zasempini. Loluhlu lwalunikeza imithetho yosuku . . . Mhlawumbe singasho ukuthi ietiquette ‘ithikithi’ lokungena emphakathini ohloniphayo.”
Ingabe Ungachaza?
◻ Kungani kungamangazi ukuthi imikhuba emihle iyancipha?
◻ Ziyini ezinye izimbangela zemikhuba emibi?
◻ Imikhuba emihle yobuKristu ihluke kanjani emikhubeni nasebucikweni bokuziphatha yezwe?
◻ Kungani kufanele silwele ukuba nemikhuba emihle ngazo zonke izikhathi?