Izihluthulelo Zokukhulumisana Nomuntu Oshade Naye

‘BEKUNGAFANELE ngisho into engiyishilo.’ ‘Angizange ngikuveze ngokucacile okungaphakathi kimi.’ Wake wazizwa yini ngaleyo ndlela ngemva kokuzama ukukhuluma nowakwakho? Ukukhulumisana yikhono okufanele lifundwe. Njengoba kunjalo nganoma imaphi amakhono, kuba lula ngabanye ukukhulumisana nabanye, kanti kwabanye kuba nzima. Ngisho noma wena uphakathi kwabantu abangenalo leli khono, ungakwazi ukufunda indlela yokuveza okucabangayo ngendlela enomusa, ukwazi ukukhulumisana nomuntu futhi kube nemiphumela emihle.

Ngezinye izikhathi, abantu bathonywa amasiko uma kuziwa endabeni yokusebenzelana nabantu abashade nabo. Kungenzeka ukuthi amadoda atshelwa ukuthi ‘ukuze kubonakale ukuthi uyindoda, akufanele ukhulume kakhulu.’ Amadoda akhuluma kakhulu angase abukelwe phansi kuthiwe angabantu ongenakubabambela izwi. Yiqiniso, iBhayibheli liyasho ukuthi: “Wonke umuntu kumelwe asheshe ukuzwa, ephuze ukukhuluma.” (Jakobe 1:19) Nokho, leso seluleko sisebenza kubantu besilisa nabesifazane futhi sibonisa ukuthi ukuxoxa kungaphezu nje kokukhuluma. Abantu ababili bangakhuluma isikhathi eside, kodwa kuthiwani uma bengalalelani? Cishe bayobe abaxoxi ngempela. Isici esibalulekile ekukhulumisaneni ngokuphumelelayo ukuba nekhono lokulalela, njengoba umBhalo ongenhla ubonisa.

Ukukhulumisana Ngaphandle Kwamazwi

Kwezinye izindawo, amakhosikazi alindeleke ukuba angayivezi imibono yawo. Abayeni bona kulindeleke ukuba bangangeneki. Esimweni esinjalo, indoda nomfazi baye bangazi ukuthi yini omunye ayidingayo esimweni esithile. Amanye amakhosikazi agcina ebe nekhono elihle kakhulu lokubona ukuthi abayeni bawo badingani, abese enza ngokwalokho abakudingayo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kusuke kuqhubeka ingxoxo ngaphandle kwamazwi phakathi kwendoda nomkayo. Nokho, kuvame ukuba kube umuntu oyedwa kuphela owenza lokhu. Nakuba inkosikazi ingase ifunde ukubona ukuthi yini umyeni wayo ayicabangayo nokuthi uzizwa kanjani, kuyaqabukela umyeni elindeleke ukuba afunde lelo khono futhi aqonde imizwa yomkakhe.

Yiqiniso, kwamanye amazwe amadoda ayaziqaphela izidingo zomkawo ezingokomzwelo bese ezama ukuzanelisa. Nokho, nasemazweni anjalo, imishado eminingi isengazuza ngokufunda ikhono elihle lokukhulumisana.

Ukukhulumisana Kubalulekile

Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile kungavimbela ukungaqondani. Kudala kwa-Israyeli, isizwe sakwaRubeni, sakwaGadi nengxenye yesizwe sakwaManase, zonke ezazihlala empumalanga yoMfula iJordani, zakha “i-altare elaliphawuleka kakhulu” eduze kwaseJordani. Ezinye izizwe zakuqonda kabi lokhu. Ngenxa yokuthi zacabanga ukuthi abafowabo ngale kweJordani babehlubuka, izizwe zasentshonalanga zalungiselela ukuyolwa nalaba bantu “abadlubulundayo.” Nokho, ngaphambi kokuyolwa, zathumela ithimba ukuba liyoxoxa nezizwe ezisempumalanga. Yeka isinyathelo esiwukuhlakanipha ezasithatha! Zathola ukuthi i-altare elalakhiwe kwakungelona elokwenza iminikelo noma imihlatshelo engekho emthethweni. Kunalokho, izizwe ezisempumalanga zazesaba ukuthi mhlawumbe kuyokwenzeka ngelinye ilanga lezi zizwe zithi kuzo: “Aninasabelo kuJehova.” Leli altare laliyoba ubufakazi bokuthi nazo zingabakhulekeli bakaJehova. (Joshuwa 22:10-29) Zabiza leli altare ngokuthi ubuFakazi, cishe ngoba laliwubufakazi bokuthi kuzona, uJehova unguNkulunkulu weqiniso.—Joshuwa 22:34.

Indaba yazo yayizwakala yazikholisa izizwe ezisentshonalanga, futhi zashintsha izinhlelo zazo zokuyolwa nalezi zizwe ezisempumalanga. Yebo, le mpi yanqandwa ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile. Kamuva, lapho u-Israyeli edlubulunda kuJehova uNkulunkulu, umyeni wakhe ongokomfanekiso, uJehova wamtshela ukuthi ‘uzokhuluma nenhliziyo yakhe’ ngomusa. (Hoseya 2:14) Yeka isibonelo esihle abantu abashadile abangasilingisa! Yebo, zama ukufinyelela inhliziyo yomngane wakho womshado ukuze akwazi ukuqonda imizwa yakho. Kubalulekile lokhu, ikakhulukazi uma inkinga enibhekene nayo ibucayi. Umlobeli wephephandaba wase-United States, uPattie Mihalik uthi: “Abanye bathi ukukhuluma akukhokhelwa, kodwa amazwi angabiza kakhulu. Futhi nakuba kungase kube nzima ngabanye ukuveza imizwa yabo yangempela, umphumela wokuyiveza ungayidlula kude imali esebhange.”

Ukuthuthukisa Amakhono Okukhulumisana

Abanye bangase bathi, ‘Umshado wethu wavele wabheda zisuka nje.’ Abanye bangase baphethe ngokuthi: ‘Ayikho indaba yalo mshado.’ Bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi kuyinto engenakwenzeka ukuthuthukisa amakhono abo okukhulumisana emshadweni. Nokho, cabanga ngalabo abahlala ezindaweni lapho bekhethelwa khona abangane bomshado. Abaningi abahlala ezindaweni ezinjalo bagcina bekwazile ukuba nemishado emihle lapho bekwazi khona ukukhulumisana kahle.

U-Isaka wafunelwa umfazi futhi ekugcineni washada noRebheka. Kwakuthunywe umkhongi ukuba ahambe aye ezweni elikude ayofunela u-Isaka umfazi. Noma kunjalo, lo mbhangqwana oshadile owawuphila eminyakeni engaba ngu-4 000 edlule wabonisa ikhono lokuxoxa elihle kakhulu. U-Isaka wahlangana esigangeni nomkhongi wakhe owayesebuye nomakoti wakhe omusha. Le ndoda eyayingumkhongi “yamlandisa u-Isaka zonke izinto eyayizenzile.” Ukulandisa kweBhayibheli ngalo mshado kuqhubeka kuthi: “Ngemva kwalokho u-Isaka wamngenisa [uRebheka] etendeni likaSara unina [okuyisinyathelo esibonisa ukushada ngokomthetho]. Kanjalo wamthatha uRebheka waba ngumkakhe; wamthanda.”—Genesise 24:62-67.

Phawula ukuthi u-Isaka waqale wezwa umbiko futhi “ngemva kwalokho” wathatha uRebheka waba umkakhe. Umkhongi wayeyinceku ethembekile ezinikele kuJehova, uNkulunkulu owayekhulekelwa u-Isaka. U-Isaka wayengenaso isizathu sokungayethembi le ndoda. Ngemva kwalokho, u-Isaka “wamthanda” uRebheka owayesengumkakhe.

Bakwazi yini u-Isaka noRebheka ukuba namakhono amahle okukhulumisana? Ngemva kokuba indodana yabo, u-Esawu, ishade namadodakazi kaHeti amabili, kwaba nenkinga enkulu ekhaya. URebheka “wayelokhu ethi” ku-Isaka: “Ngiyakwenyanya lokhu kuphila kwami ngenxa yamadodakazi kaHeti. Uma uJakobe [indodana yabo encane] engathatha umfazi emadodakazini kaHeti . . . , kunanzuzoni ukuphila kimi?” (Genesise 26:34; 27:46) Kusobala ukuthi wakwenza kwezwakala futhi kwacaca okwakumkhathaza.

U-Isaka watshela uJakobe, iwele lika-Esawu, ukuba angathathi inkosikazi emadodakazini aseKhanani. (Genesise 28:1, 2) URebheka wayesibeke sezwakala isikhalo sakhe. Lo mbhangqwana wakwazi ukuxoxa ngendaba yomkhaya eyayibucayi kakhulu, futhi uyisibonelo esihle kithi namuhla. Nokho, kuthiwani uma abantu abashadile benemibono engefani ngendaba ethile? Yini engenziwa kuleso simo?

Lapho Kunokungaboni Ngaso Linye

Uma wena noshade naye ningaboni ngaso linye endabeni ethile, ungamquduleli. Lokho kungamtshela lokhu: Ukuthi awujabule, futhi ufuna naye angajabuli. Kanti kungenzeka umane akaziqondi ngokugcwele izifiso nemizwa yakho.

Kungase kudingeke nivulelane izifuba. Uma indaba ithanda ukuba bucayi, kungase kungabi lula ukuzibamba, uzole. Abazali baka-Isaka, u-Abrahama noSara, bake babhekana nesimo esinzima. Ngenxa yokuthi uSara wayeyinyumba, wenza okwakuyinkambiso ngalezo zinsuku, wanikeza u-Abrahama isigqilakazi sakhe, uHagari, ukuba sibe isancinza sakhe, simzalele. UHagari wazalela u-Abrahama umfana, u-Ishmayeli. Nokho, kamuva noSara wakhulelwa, wazalela u-Abrahama indodana, u-Isaka. Ngesikhathi u-Isaka esezolunyulwa, uSara waphawula ukuthi u-Ishmayeli ugcona indodana yakhe, u-Isaka. Ebona ukuthi indodana yakhe isengozini, uSara wancenga u-Abrahama ukuba asixoshe isigqilakazi no-Ishmayeli. Yebo, uSara wayiveza ngokuqondile indlela ayezizwa ngayo. Kodwa into ayeyicela ayizange neze ithandeke ku-Abrahama.

Kwalungiswa kanjani lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye? Ukulandisa kweBhayibheli kufundeka kanje: “UNkulunkulu wathi ku-Abrahama: ‘Ungavumeli lutho uSara alushoyo kuwe ngomfana nesigqilakazi sakho ukuba lube olungathandeki kuwe. Lalela izwi lakhe, ngoba lokho okuyobizwa ngokuthi yinzalo yakho kuyoba khona ngo-Isaka.’” U-Abrahama walalela isiqondiso sikaJehova uNkulunkulu futhi wenza njengokusho kwakhe.—Genesise 16:1-4; 21:1-14.

Ungase uthi: ‘Awuboni-ke, uma uNkulunkulu engakhuluma nathi, singakwazi ukukuxazulula kalula ukungaboni ngaso linye!’ Lokho-ke kusiletha kwenye indlela yokuxazulula ukungezwani emshadweni. Imibhangqwana eshadile ingamlalela uNkulunkulu. Kanjani? Ngokufunda iZwi likaNkulunkulu ndawonye, yamukele elikushoyo njengesiqondiso esiphuma kuye.—1 Thesalonika 2:13.

Omunye owesifazane oshadile ongumKristu onokuhlangenwe nakho wathi: “Izikhathi eziningi lapho owesifazane osemusha eza kimi ezocela iseluleko ngomshado wakhe, ngiye ngimbuze ukuthi bayalifunda yini ndawonye iBhayibheli yena nomyeni wakhe. Abaningi abanezinkinga emshadweni abakwenzi umkhuba ukufunda iBhayibheli ndawonye.” (Thithu 2:3-5) Sonke singazuza kulokho akusho. Lifunde njalo iZwi likaNkulunkulu nowakwakho. Ngaleyo ndlela, ‘uzwa’ amazwi kaNkulunkulu akutshela indlela okufanele uziphathe ngayo usuku nosuku. (Isaya 30:21) Kodwa nasi isixwayiso: Ungasebenzisi iBhayibheli njengenduku yokubhaxabula umuntu oshade naye, ulokhu usho imiBhalo onomuzwa wokuthi akayisebenzisi. Kunalokho, zama ukubona ukuthi nina nobabili ningakusebenzisa kanjani enikufundayo.

Uma nizama ukulungisa inkinga ethile enzima, kungani ningahloli i-Watch Tower Publications Indexa nifunde ngaleyo nkinga ngokukhethekile. Mhlawumbe ninakekela abazali asebekhulile, futhi lokho kuletha izinkingana emshadweni wenu. Kunokuba nibange ukuthi yini okufanele nokungafanele yenziwe omunye, kungani ningahlali phansi nihlole i-Index ndawonye? Okokuqala, bhekani isihloko esikhulu esithi, “Parents [Abazali].” Ningabheka izikhombo ngaphansi kwezihlokwana, njengesithi “caring for aged parents [ukunakekela abazali asebekhulile].” Zifundeni ndawonye izihloko ezihlobene naleyo ndaba ezincwadini zoFakazi BakaJehova. Ngeke nikholwe ukuthi kungakanani eningakuzuza ekwazisweni okusekelwe eBhayibhelini osekusize amaKristu amaningi aqotho.

Ukuhlola lezo zikhombo nokufunda ukwaziswa okusezincwadini ndawonye kuyonisiza nithole umbono ongavuni muntu ngenkinga yenu. Nizothola imiBhalo ecashuniwe nekhonjiwe ezoninika umbono kaNkulunkulu ngendaba. Yivuleni emaBhayibhelini enu, niyifunde ndawonye. Yebo, nizozwa ukuthi uNkulunkulu uthini ngenkinga enibhekene nayo!

Hlalani Nikhulumisana Njalo

Wake wazama yini ukuvula umnyango osekuyisikhathi eside ungasetshenziswa? Uyaqina, kube nomsindo onswininizayo, kodwa ekugcineni uyavuleka. Kodwa bekuyoba njani ukube lowo mnyango ubusetshenziswa njalo futhi izinkintsho zawo zithanjiswe kahle ngowoyela? Bekuyoba lula ukuwuvula. Kungokufanayo nangomnyango wokukhulumisana. Uma nikhulumisana njalo futhi nizithambisa ngothando lobuKristu izinkintsho zomnyango wokukhulumisana, ningakwazi ukuvulelana izifuba kalula ngisho noma kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye okukhulu.

Izinto azilungi ngosuku oluludwa. Nakuba kungase kungabi lula ukukhulumisana ekuqaleni, qhubekani nikwenza. Ekugcineni ningakwazi ukuba nobuhlobo obuhle, nihlale niqondana njalo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

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Lapho kuba khona ukungaboni ngaso linye, ingabe niyofuna isiqondiso sikaNkulunkulu?