Bazali—‘Ningawakha’ Kanjani Umuzi Wenu?
“Indlu iyakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, iqiniswe ngokuqonda.”—IZAGA 24:3.
1. Yini into ebalulekile emkhayeni oqinile?
UKUHLOLA kwamuva kwabhekisa kochwepheshe abangaphezu kwama-550 abamsebenzi wabo uwukusiza imikhaya umbuzo wokuthi iziphi izici ababezithola kakhulu emikhayeni eqinile. Nazi ezokuqala ohlwini: ukukhulumisana nokulalela. Umlobi wokuhlola, uDolores Curran, wachaza isizathu: “Kungamandla athuthukisa ukunakekelana, ukuphana, ukuhlanganyela izinto ndawonye, nokukhuluma ngokungenamahloni. Ngaphandle kokuhlolisisa nokuzinikela ngokwethu, ngeke sazane. Siba yindlu yabantu abahlala ndawonye abasizayo nje ezidingweni zomunye nomunye kunokuba ngabasabela ngokomzwelo.” Yebo, ukukhulumisana okukhululekile kuwumgogodla womkhaya oqinile.
2, 3. (a) Iyiphi inkinga ephawulekayo ngisho nakwamanye amakhaya obuKristu? (b) IzAga 24:3, 4 zembula ukuthi yini engasiza ekwakheni umkhaya oqinile? (c) Imiphi imibuzo edinga ukuphendulwa?
2 Nokho, ukuntuleka kokusondelana kungaba nemiphumela edabukisayo. Ngokwesibonelo, elinye lamagatsha eWatch Tower Society eAfrika labuzwa ukuthi kungani enye intsha iye yashiya ukuziphatha kweBhayibheli. Ngokwempendulo, “ubuthakathaka obuyinhloko obuhlangene nayo yonke inkinga kwakuwukwehluleka kwabazali ukuba yizilaleli ezinhle nokwehluleka kwabo ukubonisana nabantwana babo. Ngakho abazali abaningi abanabo ubuhlobo obuseduze ngempela nabantwana babo.” Yebo, lesi kumane kuyisici esisodwa senkinga—nakuba singesibalulekile. Ngabasha ukulalela komuntu ngamunye nokuzinikela kokwesaba uNkulunkulu, njengoba kunjalo nganoma ubani, kuza kuqala. (Roma 14:12; 1 Thimothewu 6:6) Futhi, cabanga ngezAga 24:3, 4. Zifundeka kanje: “Indlu iyakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, iqiniswe ngokuqonda. Amakamelo agcwaliswa ngokwazi, ngayo yonke ingcebo enqabileyo nemnandi.”
3 Kodwa ungakusebenzisa kanjani ukuhlakanipha, ukuqonda, nokwazi ukuze ufinyelele ukusondelana okudingekile okungokomzwelo, ikakhulukazi nentsha? Ukugwema kanjani ukwakha ngokungahlosile imihosha yokukhulumisana? (Qhathanisa nezAga 14:1, 12.) Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ungawakha kanjani umkhaya oqotho ekukhulekeleni kweqiniso? Njengoba ziziningi kangaka izinto ezidinga isikhathi nokunakekela kwakho, ungazibuza ukuthi ungaqala kuphi. Imfanelo yokuqala, ukuhlakanipha, ingakusiza ukuba uthole lokho okuza kuqala.
Ngokuhlakanipha Thola Okuza Kuqala
4. Yini umkhaya wamaKristu okumelwe uyibeke kuqala?
4 “Ukumesaba uJehova kungukuqala kokuhlakanipha,” kubhala umhubi. (IHubo 111:10) Ukwesaba kwakho siqu okuhle ukujabhisa uNkulunkulu, kanye nokubeka ukukhulekela kwakhe kuqala, kubalulekile. Omunye umama wachaza indlela yena nomyeni wakhe abakhulisa ngayo ngokuphumelelayo amadodana abo amabili ukuba akhonze uJehova: “Sagcwalisa ukuphila kwethu ngeqiniso—siya kuyo yonke imihlangano, silungiselela futhi siba khona emihlanganweni, futhi senza inkonzo yasensimini ibe yingxenye eyinhloko yokuphila kwethu.” Umyeni wakhe wanezela: “Iqiniso aliyona ingxenye yokuphila kwethu, liwukuphila kwethu. Yonke enye into igxiliswe kulo.” Ingabe nawe ngokufanayo ubeka ukukhulekela uJehova njengento eza kuqala ekhaya lakho?
5. Kungani abazali abangamaKristu bekudinga ukulinganisela?
5 Ukuhlanganyela enkonzweni yasensimini njengomkhaya kuyonisondeza eduze, nokho izidingo zabantwana ezingajwayelekile zidinga ukusetshenziswa kwesinye sesikhathi sakho namandla angokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, kudingeka ukulinganisela ekunqumeni ukuthi singakanani isikhathi ongasisebenzisa emsebenzini wokushumayela noma emisebenzini yebandla kuyilapho unakekela futhi ‘abakwakho’ ngokomoya, ngokomzwelo, nangokwezinto ezibonakalayo. Kumelwe ‘ufunde kuqala ukuhlonipha indlu yakwakho.’ (1 Thimothewu 5:4, 8) Ukuze isize obaba, kakhulukazi, bathole ukulinganisela okudingekile phakathi kwezibopho zomkhaya nemisebenzi yenkonzo, INqabayokulinda ka-May 15, 1960 yanxusa: “Makuthi isisindo esifanele sinikelwe ezithakazelweni zomkhaya wakho. Ngempela uJehova uNkulunkulu abengenakulindela umuntu ukusebenzisa sonke isikhathi sakhe emsebenzini webandla, ekusizeni abafowabo nabakhelwane bakhe bazuze ukusindiswa, futhi noko angabheki ukusindiswa komuzi wakhe. Umfazi womuntu nabantwana bawumthwalo wemfanelo wokuqala.”
6. Iyiphi ingozi abazali okumelwe bayigweme, futhi lokhu kungenziwa kanjani?
6 Lomthwalo wemfanelo awunakekelwa nje ngokusebenzisa amahora amaningi unabantwana bakho kodwa ngokusisebenzisa ngokugcwele lesosikhathi. Ngokudabukisayo, abanye abazali baye bahileleka kakhulu ekunakekeleni izindaba zebandla, emsebenzini obagcina bematasa, noma ezintweni ezibonakalayo kangangokuthi ngisho nalapho benabantwana babo izingqondo zabo zisuke zikokuthile. Kungemva kokudumazeka komkhaya kuphela lapho beqaphela isidingo sokuphinda bahlole lokho okuza kuqala. ‘Ukuhlakanipha kwaphezulu . . . kunokuva, nokulalela.’ (Jakobe 3:17) Ukuhlakanipha kwasezulwini okunjalo kuyokusiza ukuba uhlukanise kahle isikhathi sakho nokuhileleka okungokomzwelo ukuze ulalele yonke imiyalo kaJehova.
Uswazi Nokusola Kunikeza Ukuhlakanipha
7. IzAga 29:15 zingasetshenziswa kanjani ngokuphumelelayo?
7 Ukuqina ngezimiso ezilungile, okuboniswa ngomusa, kutshela abantwana bakho ukuthi uyabanakekela. Ukuyekelela kubangela kokubili ukungalondeki nobuhlongandlebe bentsha. “Uswazi nokusola kuyanika ukuhlakanipha.” (IzAga 29:15; 22:15) Ukuze “uswazi nokusola” kusebenze kumelwe kuhambisane nothando. Iseluleko esinikezwa ngokungenangqondo noma ngenxa yemizwelo enamandla singaphula umoya womntwana. “Boyise, ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu ukuba bangadangali.” (Kolose 3:21) “Induku” yokulaya ihlanganisa isijeziso esifanele, kodwa uma ufuna kuye izinto ezingenangqondo, ugxeka ngokweqile, futhi ujivaza umntwana, lokho kuwukusetshenziswa kabi ‘kwenduku’ futhi kungenza umntwana angabe esazethemba yena ngokwakhe kanye nawe. ‘Angadangala.’
8. Chaza ukuthi kungani “ukusola” kusho okungaphezu kokujezisa nje?
8 Kodwa kokubili “uswazi nokusola” kuyadingeka. Ukusola kudinga okungaphezu kokujezisa; kuhilela ukunikezwa kwamaqiniso ukuze kuqinisekiswe omunye umuntu.a Igama lesiHeberu elisho “ukusola” lihunyushwe futhi njengelisho “ukuphikisa.” (IHubo 38:14) Ngakho-ke, eqinisweni ukusola kusho ukuzimisela nokukwazi ukunikeza amaqiniso ngendlela yokuba umntwana abone izizathu zezenzo zakho. Izincwadi zeWatchtower Society ziqukethe ukwaziswa, okunye okubhalelwe intsha ngokuyinhloko, okungakusiza ukuba unikeze umntwana wakho izizathu ezinengqondo zokuthi kungani inkambo ethile ingalungile. Ingabe uzisebenzisa ngokugcwele?
Ukuqonda Kudala Uzwela
9. Yini ukuqonda, futhi kungani kubalulekile?
9 Ukuqonda nakho kuyikhono elibalulekile lokukhulumisana. Igama lesiHeberu sakuqala livela egameni eliwumsuka elisho “ukuqonda phakathi kwezinto,” “ukwahlukanisa.” Lokhu kuqondisisa akugcini nje kulokho okusobala, futhi ngalokho kuhlobene nokuqonda, uzwela, nobubele.—1 Petru 3:8.
10. Ukuthola ukuqonda ngokungagcini nje esimweni esisobala kwayivimbela kanjani inzondo ezikhathini zeBhayibheli?
10 Isibonelo seBhayibheli esibonisa ukubaluleka kokuqonda silotshwe kuJoshuwa 22:9-34. Isizwe sakwaRubeni, sakwaGadi, nengxenye yakwaManase, ezazinikezwe amazwe empumalanga yoMfula iJordani, zakha ialtare elikhulu ezweni lazo. Ezinye izizwe, zibheka lokhu njengokuhlubuka, zalungiselela ukujezisa lokho okwakubonakala kuwukwephulwa komthetho kaNkulunkulu ngamabomu. (Levitikusi 17:8, 9) Ngaphambi kokuba zithathe isinyathelo, zathumela abameleli ukuba baxoxe nalezizwe ezimbili nengxenye. (IzAga 13:10) Ingxoxo yembula ukuthi ialtare lalingakhelwanga ukunikela ngemihlatshelo kodwa “ngokunakekela nangesizathu.” Njengoba uMfula iJordani wawuzehlukanisile nezinye izizwe, izizwe ezimbili nengxenye zazikhathazeke kakhulu ngokuba nokwenzeka kokuyekiswa kwezizukulwane zazo ezizayo ukukhulekela uJehova. Ialtare laliyoba isikhumbuzo, “ubufakazi,” esingapheli, sokuthi nazo, ngokufanayo, zazingabantu bakaNkulunkulu. Yeka ushintsho lokhu okwalwenza! Lokho okwakubonakala kuyisono esingathi sína kwanikezwa umbono owehlukile. Njengoba ‘zephuza ukuthukuthela,’ lezo ezinye izizwe zakwazi ukuqonda isimo, futhi lokhu kwadala ukuzwisisa.—IzAga 14:29.
11. Omunye umzali wakubonisa kanjani ukuqonda?
11 Lapho umntwana wakho eba nenkinga, ingabe uyazama ukuqonda? Ngokwesibonelo, enye yamadodana ombhangqwana ongamaKristu yaqala ukufika ekhaya ivela esikoleni ‘igane unwabu.’ Uyise wachaza: “Yenqaba ukusitshela ukuthi kungani yayithukuthele kangaka. Ngaqale ngacabanga ukuthi yayimane ingafuni ukulawulwa, kodwa ngabuye ngaphawula ukuthi yayithula lapho ngibuza ngesikole. Nokho, sakhuluma isikhathi eside, futhi ngathola ukuthi njengoba yayisencane ngeminyaka, izingane esikoleni zaziyigcona. Ngemva kokuyiqinisekisa ukuthi ngangiyiqonda indlela lokhu okunzima ngayo, ngayinikeza ukusikisela okuthile okuwusizo ukuze kuyisize ibhekane nakho.” Isimo somfana sathuthuka ngokushesha.
12. Kungani iminyaka eyeve eshumini elinambili inzima kakhulu ngentsha eningi, futhi yini abazali abayidingayo?
12 Ingabe wawuyobonisa ukubekezela okufanayo ngomntwana wakho? Abasha, ikakhulukazi abeve eshumini elinambili, bangathonywa kakhulu izinto ezinjengesikole, ukubonakala okungokomzimba, izinkanuko zobulili, nodumo. Iphephabhuku iAdolescence lathi: “Kuzo zonke izigaba zokukhula komuntu, esokuthomba singesinzima kakhulu kunazo zonke. Njengoba intsha izinyeza futhi ingenakho okuhlangenwe nakho, izizwa ilahlekile ezweni elincintisanayo nelingenaluzwela. Esikhundleni sokukwazi ukwamukela ihlazo nokwehluleka, isabela ngemizwa enamandla yokucasuka nokukhathazeka.” Imizwelo enjalo ekhathazayo ingathinta ukuziphatha komntwana. (Qhathanisa nomShumayeli 1:7) Kuwukuhlakulela ukukhulumisana okuseduze kuphela nomntwana wakho okuyokwenza uqonde inkinga yangempela futhi ukwazi ukuthola indlela engcono kakhulu yokusiza.
13. (a) Iyini eminye imigoqo yokukhulumisana? (b) Kungani abazali kudingeka basebenzise izAga 20:5 ngokuphikelela? Bonisa.
13 Kunzima ngentsha eningi ukubeka ekucabangayo ngamazwi. Ngakho-ke, njengoba umntwana wakho eqala ukukhululeka, gwema izinkulumo ezingenangqondo ezihlabayo, njengezithi: ‘Yilokho kuphela? Bengithi uzosho into ebalulekile.’ ‘Nansi into ekukhathazayo . . .’ ‘Ungakwenza kanjani lokhu kimi?’ ‘Manje, yini oyilindele? Kakade useyingane.’ (IzAga 12:18) Ngezinye izikhathi omusha uyodinga ukugujwa, ikakhulukazi uma enenkinga ebucayi. “Umuntu oqondileyo” uyozama ngokuphikelela ‘ukukhipha’ imizwa enjalo. (IzAga 20:5) Omunye umbhangqwana ongamaKristu wathola ukuthi indodakazi yawo yayizikhipha kokwenziwa ekhaya. Abazali bayigubha kodwa kwaba nhlanga zimuka nomoya. Baphikelela. “Ekugcineni, ngolunye usuku ngahlala nayo embhedeni, ngayanga, ngaphinda ngabuza ukuthi yayiyini inkinga,” kubika umama. “Ikhala yangitshela ukuthi yayinomuzwa wokuthi thina nabanye sasingayithandi, ngakho yayizikhipha ngangokunokwenzeka. Okokuqala nje kwathi mangithi, ‘Kuhlekisa ngempela lokhu,’ kodwa ngazibamba futhi ngalalela njengoba yayithulula okusenhliziyweni yayo.” Abazali bayiqinisekisa ngokuthi babeyikhathalela futhi ngemva kwalokho baqikelela kakhulu ukuba bayenze izizwe isekhaya emisebenzini yomkhaya. Yayinqoba lenkinga futhi manje ikhonza njengomshumayeli wesikhathi esigcwele.
14. Kungani ukuba nomkhaya osondelene ngokomzwelo kunganele?
14 Ukwakha umkhaya ohlangene kubalulekile, futhi ngisho neminye imikhaya yezwe iye yakufeza lokho. Kodwa kungokunye ukwakha umkhaya onomqondo ongokomoya ohlala useduze noJehova futhi onobunye eZwini lakhe. Ukuze kufezwe lokhu, kudingeka okwengeziwe kunokusondelana nje okungokomzwelo nabantwana bakho.
Ukwandisa Ulwazi
15. Luhlobo luni lolwazi olubalulekile, futhi ngani?
15 “Amakamelo agcwaliswa ngokwazi, ngayo yonke ingcebo enqabileyo nemnandi.” (IzAga 24:4) Lengcebo enqabileyo ayiwona amagugu ayizinto ezibonakalayo, kodwa ihlanganisa ukulondeka okungokomoya, uthando lokuzidela, ukwesaba uNkulunkulu, nokholo olusekelwe olwazini lukaNkulunkulu. Lezi zinto zidala ukuphila komkhaya okucebile. (IzAga 2:5; 15:16, 17; 1 Petru 1:7) Lolulwazi luyonikeza abantwana amandla angaphakathi ukuze bakwazi ukumelana namacebo kaSathane, ngisho nawobuqili, ngoba izAga 24:5, NW zithi: “Umuntu ohlakaniphileyo ungumuntu onamandla, nomuntu onolwazi wandisa amandla.” Kodwa kumelwe ufake ulwazi olunjalo ezinhliziyweni zabo.—Duteronomi 6:6, 7; 1 Johane 2:14.
16. (a) Yini ebalulekile ukuze kufakwe ulwazi lukaNkulunkulu enhliziyweni yomntanakho? (b) Ukuze abantwana bazuze ngempela, yini edingekayo?
16 Olunye usizo oluhle kakhulu lokufaka iZwi likaNkulunkulu ebantwaneni bakho luwukuqhuba isifundo somkhaya sasikhathi sonke esibakhuthaza ukuba benze iqiniso libe ngelabo. “Isifundo somkhaya sakha isimo esifanele, ukuze umqondo womntwana wakho wamukele isiyalo,” kuchaza omunye umzali ophumelelayo wabantwana abane. Wanezela: “Lapho uqala ukuqondisa abantwana, ngokuzenzekelayo uba ‘nezilaleli ezinenzondo.’ Kodwa lapho ungaxoxa ngendaba ethile ngesikhathi esithile lapho ingekho inzondo, njengasesifundweni somkhaya, kunethuba elikhulu lokuba amaphuzu ofuna ukuwaveza agxile.” Kodwa ukuze abantwana bazuze ngempela, kumelwe ulingise umphostoli uPawulu, owabhala: “Ngilangazelela ukunibona ukuze nginabele isipho esithile somusa sokomoya ukuba niqiniswe.” (Roma 1:11) Isipho saziswa ngokukhethekile uma singokuthile lowo osamukelayo angakusebenzisa futhi singesibaluleke ngempela kuye. Ngakho thola endabeni okuthile okuthinta ukuphila komntwana.
17. (a) Yini engenza isifundo somkhaya sithakazelise futhi sifundise? (b) Ingabe unakho okunye ukusikisela?
17 Abazali futhi kumelwe baqiniseke ukuthi bonke emkhayeni bayasazi isikhathi sesifundo, nokuthi iyiphi indaba ezocatshangelwa. Abanye basebenzisa usizo olubonakalayo, njengamabalazwe namashadi, ukuze bagxilise ukwaziswa. Abanye abazali bahlanganisa iziphuzo ngaphambili noma ngemva kwaso. Ngemva kwesifundo bangaxoxa ngezinkinga zosuku noma zesonto. (Bheka ibhokisi ukuze uthole okunye ukusikisela.) Ngaphezu kwakho konke, siqhubeni njalo lesifundo! Abazali abaningi kumelwe benze umzamo omkhulu ukuba balungiselele abantwana babo ukudla nendawo yokuhlala, kodwa kubaluleke ngisho nangokwengeziwe ukulungiselela “ubisi olungokomoya olungenakonakala, ukuze [abantabethu] [ba]khule ngalo kube-ngukusindiswa.”—1 Petru 2:2; Johane 17:3.
18. Yini eyosiza ‘ekwakheni’ umuzi wakho?
18 Kudinga ikhono nesikhathi ukwakha umkhaya oqinile ngokomoya. Zimiseleni ukuhlakulela amakhono okukhulumisana adingekile ukuze nizigcine nisondelene ngokomzwelo nabantwana benu. Ningavumeli lutho lumvimbele ekusebenziseni isikhathi esidingekayo niqinisa umkhaya wenu ngokuhlakanipha, ukuqonda, nolwazi. Thandazelani, futhi nithandaze nabantwana benu, nazi ukuthi uJehova kuphela ongacebisa imizamo yenu ‘yokwakha’ ngempumelelo.—IHubo 127:1.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a NgokweThe Hebrew and English Lexicon, kaJohn Parkhurst, igama elisho “ukusola” livela esenzweni esisho ‘ukubonisa ngokucacile, ukuveza ngamaqiniso, ukuveza isiboniso, ukubonisa ngobufakazi noma ngezizathu eziqand’ ikhanda noma ngamaphuzu.’ IOld Testament Word Studies, kaWilliam Wilson, ithi ngalesisenzo esifanayo: “Ukunikeza ubufakazi.”
Uyakhumbula?
◻ Ikhaya liqiniswa kanjani ngokuhlakanipha, futhi yini engasiza abantwana bakuhlakulele?
◻ Kungani ukuqonda kusiza ekwakheni ukukhulumisana komkhaya okuhle?
◻ Kungani ulwazi lukaNkulunkulu lubalulekile?
◻ Isifundo somkhaya singenziwa kanjani sithakazelise futhi sifundise?
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 24]
ISIFUNDO SOMKHAYA ESIPHUMELELAYO
Isifundo kumelwe siqhutshwe kanjani?
Gcina isimo sikhululekile, nokho sihloniphekile. Gwema indlela eyinkimbinkimbi, eyenza isimo sishube ngokweqile. Buza imibuzo eseceleni futhi usebenzise imifanekiso ukuze uvuse ukucabanga futhi ugcine bonke behilelekile. Yenza indaba ibe lula lapho kudingekile. Kungcono ungasebenzisi isikhathi sesifundo uthethisa abantwana. Mhlawumbe noma ikuphi ukusola okudingekayo kungenziwa ngasese.
Yini okumelwe ifundwe?
Khetha ngokwezidingo zomkhaya. Shintshashintsha. Kungaba ukulungiselela isifundo samasonto onke seNqabayokulinda. Kungase kudingeke ukuba kuxoxwe ngezinselele ezithile, njengezinkinga intsha ebhekana nazo esikoleni, ukuphola, imisebenzi eseceleni, imidlalo, nemikhuba yokuziphatha okubi. Sebenzisa izihloko noma izincwadi ezikhuluma ngalokhu. Isikhathi sesifundo ungasihlukanisa ukuze sihlanganise izindaba ezihlukahlukene.
Kumelwe siqhutshwe nini futhi isikhathi eside kangakanani?
Inhloko yomkhaya inganquma ngemva kokuxoxa namalungu omkhaya ngemisebenzi yawo kanye nokucabangela ukulinganiselwa kwawo. Kumelwe icabangele iminyaka nemiqondo yabantwana. Ingase ithande ukufushanisa izifundo izikhathi eziningana phakathi nesonto uma abantwana bebancane. Abanye baye baba nezingxenye ezinjalo ngokushesha ngemva kokudla. Iphuzu elibalulekile akubona ubude besikhathi kodwa indlela isikhathi esisetshenziswe ngayo ndawonye.
Ungaqiniseka kanjani ngokufinyelela inhliziyo yomntwana?
Khuthaza umntwana ukuba aphendule ngamazwi akhe. Ngokuhlakanipha sebenzisa imibuzo edinga imibono ukuze ubone indlela umntwana azizwa ngayo ngempela ngendaba. Ungabuza ukuthi: “Abantwana esikoleni bazizwa kanjani ngalendaba? Ucabanga ukuthi kuyasiza?” Noma, “Ubungamchazela kanjani ofunda naye ukuthi kungani singahlobongi? Ucabanga ukuthi ngempela lokhu kungokwenzuzo yakho? Ngani?” Qaphela ukuba ungeqisi ezimpendulweni zemibuzo edinga umbono, ukuze umntwana azizwe ekhululekile ukusho akucabangayo ngempela. Thatha isikhathi uvumela ngamunye akhulume, ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uwaqonda kahle amaphuzu abalulekile.