Qeqesha Ingane Yakho Ngendlela Eqondile—Futhi Kwenze Kusukela Ebuntwaneni!

“Inkathi yobuntwana ngokungangabazeki ingecebe kakhulu. Kumelwe isetshenziswe ngemfundo ngayo yonke indlela engenzeka nenokucatshangwa. Ukumoseka kwalenkathi yokuphila akunakubuyiswa futhi. Kunokungayinaki iminyaka yokuqala, kuwumsebenzi wethu ukuyihlakulela ngokunakekela okusemandleni.”—Dr. Alexis Carrel.

KUNESIDINGO sokuhlelela kokubili ingqondo nenhliziyo. Abantu bangase besatshiswe yizinto ezimangalisayo ezifezwa yingqondo, kodwa uNkulunkulu ubheka inhliziyo. Ulwazi olusekhanda luvame ukuqhosha; uthando olusenhliziyweni olwakhayo. Izingqondo ezikhaliphile zidinga izinhliziyo ezinothando, “ngokuba umlomo ukhuluma ngokuchichima kwenhliziyo.” Kulenhliziyo engokomfanekiso kuvela futhi nezenzo ezinhle nezimbi. (1 Samuweli 16:7; Mathewu 12:34, 35; 15:19; 1 Korinte 8:1) Ngakho-ke nakuba kubalulekile ukuvuselela amandla ezingqondo zezingane, kubaluleke ngaphezulu ukufaka uthando ezinhliziyweni zazo.

Kunesiqalo esakhelwe ngaphakathi salokhu ekuzalweni. Sibizwa ngokuthi isibopho. Umama uyayigona, ayisingathe, ayiphukile, futhi akhulume nengane yakhe ngokulolozela. Ingane, nayo, ibheka unina ngokumqaphela. Isibopho siyakheka, kuvuswa imizwa kamama, futhi ingane izizwa ilondekile. Abanye ochwepheshe bakholelwa ukuthi “kunenkathi yozwela emizuzwini yokuqala embalwa namahora ngemva kokuzalwa kwengane edingekile ngenxa yothando lwengane nomzali.”

Isiqalo esihle, simane nje siyisiqalo. Usana alunakuzisiza, lwencike ngokuyinhloko kunina ngezidingo zalo ezisheshayo—kokubili ezingokwenyama nezingokomzwelo. Ngaphandle kokudla ingane iyalamba; ingalamba futhi ngokwemizwelo. Ukugona, ukusingatha, ukulolozela, ukudlala, uthando—konke kuvuselela amandla okukhula kobuchopho. Lokhu kuvuselelwa kwamandla kuye kwafaniswa nokudla kobuchopho. Ngaphandle kwakho ubuchopho buba buthaka futhi buphazamiseke kukho konke ukuphila. Futhi ngenxa yalokhu kunganaki bungaba nenzondo, bedelele, futhi bube nobudlova. Ukunakekela kukamama kuyinto engungqa phambili enganeni nasemphakathini —kubaluleke kakhulu kunanoma yimuphi umsebenzi ofundelwayo osezweni!

Indima Kababa

Ubaba akumelwe akhashelwe ngaphandle. Uma ekhona ekuzalweni kwengane, kuyoqala isibopho sikababa nengane. Njengoba amasonto nezinyanga kudlula, ithonya lendima yakhe liyenaba ngokushesha, njengoba kuboniswa nguDr. T. Berry Brazelton, oyisazi esinguchwepheshe kulendima yokukhuliswa kwengane.

Uthi, “Zonke izingane zidinga omama nobaba, futhi bonke obaba bangenza umehluko. Ngengane, ukuba nobaba okhuthele, ozihilelayo akufani nokumane ube nokunakekela kukamama okwengeziwe.” Ucaphuna umbiko owabonisa umehluko ezindleleni omama nobaba abasingatha ngazo izingane. “Omama babevame ukuba nomusa futhi babe nesimo esithobile ezinganeni zabo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, obaba, babedlala kakhulu, bezikitaza futhi bezichukuluza izingane zabo ngaphezu kokuba omama babenza.”

Kodwa obaba banika izingane okungaphezu kwenjabulo. Uthi, “Lapho kunobaba okhuthele, ingane ikhula iphumelele ngokwengeziwe esikoleni, iba nekhono lokwakha amahlaya nokusebenzelana kangcono nezinye izingane. Izethemba ngokwengeziwe futhi ishukumiseleka kangcono ukuba ifunde. Ngesikhathi isineminyaka eyisithupha noma eyisikhombisa, isilinganiso sokuhlakanipha komntwana siyophakama.”

UJehova uNkulunkulu uyaleza ubuhlobo bokufundisa obuseduze phakathi kukababa nendodana: “Lawamazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla ayakubasenhliziyweni yakho, ubafundise impela wona abantwana bakho, uwakhulume lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni, nalapho ulala, nalapho uvuka.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Akukho ukuqala komhosha ohlukanisa isizukulwane lapha!

Ukuqeqesha Kusukela Ebuntwaneni

Kunamazinga noma izimo ekukhuleni kwezingane ezincane kuyo yonke iminyaka kusukela ekuzalweni kuya eminyakeni eyisithupha, okunjengalokhu: ukusebenzelana kwezicubu, amakhono okukhuluma, izimfanelo ezingokomzwelo, amandla enkumbulo, amakhono okucabanga, unembeza, nezinye. Lapho ubuchopho bosana bukhula ngokushesha futhi lamazinga efika ngokudedelana, yileso isikhathi esihle sokuqeqesha kulamakhono ahlukahlukene.

Kulapho ubuchopho bosana buzuza lamakhono noma izimfanelo njengesiponji esingenwa ngamanzi. Uma luthandwa, lufunda ukuthanda. Uma kukhulunywa nalo futhi lufundelwa, lufunda kokubili ukukhuluma nokufunda. Uma lubekwa ekulungeni, luthatha izimiso ezilungile. Uma lamazinga okufunda afanelekile edlula ngaphandle kokwaziswa okuqondile okufakwayo, lezimfanelo namakhono kuyoba nzima ngokwengeziwe ukuwazuza kamuva.

lBhayibheli Uyakuqaphela lokhu, ngakho linxusa abazali: “Khulisa umntwana ngendlela eyakubangeyakhe; kuyakuthi lapho esekhulile, angasuki kuyo.” (izAga 22:6) Ukukhulumela okulotshiwe kukaKeil Delitzsch kukubeka ngalendlela: “Qeqesha umntwana ngokuvumelana nendlela yaKhe.” Igama lesiHeberu elihunyushwe ngokuthi “qeqesha” futhi lisho “ukuqalisa” futhi lapha libonisa ukuqala kokuqeqeshwa kokuqala kwengane. Kunikeze ngokwendlela yengane, evumelana nendlela yayo, ngokwezinga lokukhula kwayo edlula kulo. Leso isikhathi esifanelekile ngayo ukuba ikungenise kalula, futhi lokho ekufundayo phakathi naleminyaka eyakhayo kungenzeka kuhlale kukuyo.

Lona futhi umbono wabafundi abaningi bokukhula komuntu: “Akukho ndawo ekucwaningeni ngokukhula komntwana lapho siye sabonisa khona amandla amakhulu okushintsha izici zobuntu zangaphambili, noma izimo ezivamile zangaphambili.” Bayavuma ukuthi kungenzeka, kodwa “ngokuvame kakhulu, ikhambi alinakutholwa.” Ziningi izimo ezihlukayo, nokho, ushintsho lubangelwa amandla eqiniso likaNkulunkulu.—Efesu 4:22, 24; Kolose 3:9, 10.

Ulimi luyisibonelo esihle sokuqeqesha okwenziwa ngesikhathi esifanele. Izingane zihlelwe ngokwamangqamuzana ofuzo ukuba zikwazi ukukhuluma, kodwa ukuze lenkimbinkimbi esagesi eyakhelwe ngaphakathi isebenze ngempumelelo enkulu ingane kumelwe izwe amazwi enkulumo ezingeni elifanele lokukhula. Ukukhula ezindaweni zenkulumo kuqhuma phakathi kwezinyanga eziyi-6 neziyi-12 uma abantu abadala bekhuluma njalo nosana. Phakathi kwezinyanga eziyi-12 neziyi-18 lokhu kukhula kuyashesha njengoba usana luthola ukuthi amagama anezincazelo.

Lufunda amagama ngaphambi kokuba luwakhulume. Phakathi nonyaka wesibili wokuphila, leliqoqo lamagama anencazelo lingase liqhubeke njalo lisuka emagameni ambalwa liya kwangamakhulu amaningana. Umphostoli uPawulu wakhumbuza uThimothewu ukuthi “kusukela ebuntwaneni wazi imibhalo engcwele.” (2 Thimothewu 3:15) Incazelo engokoqobo yegama elithi ubuntwana yilena ethi “ongakhulumi.” Ngokunokwenzeka impela uThimothewu wafundelwa lmiBhalo eNgcwele lapho ayesewusana khona-ke wazi amagama amaningi eBhayibheli ngaphambi kokuba awakhulume.

Iphuzu liwukuthi, kunezikhathi eziqonde ngqo ekukhuleni kwengane lapho izinto ezithile zingafundwa kalula, cishe ngokungenisa ulwazi. Nokho, uma lezozikhathi zidlula ngaphandle kokuvuseleleka kwamandla okudingekile, amakhono ngeke athuthuke ngokugcweIe. Ngokwesibonelo, uma izingane zingezwankulumo nakancane kuze kube seminyakeni ethile kamuva, khona-ke ziyoyifunda kancane kakhulu futhi ngomzamo omkhulu, ngokuvamile kungenzeki neze kahle.

Fundela Ingane Yakho Kusukela Ebuntwaneni

Uqala nini? Kusukela ekuqaleni. Fundela ingane yakho esanda kuzalwa. ‘Kodwa ngeke izwe P Waqala nini ukukhuluma nayo? Thela, eqinisweni, zisuka nje.’ Ingabe yayikuqonda lokho owawukusho? ‘Cha, kodwa ..Khona-ke kungani ungayifundeli?

Lapho ingane isethangeni lakho, uyigaxe ngengalo, uyiphethe iseduze, izizwa ilondekile, ithandwa. Ukuyifundela kungokuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo. Kwakha ithonya. Ihlanganisa umuzwa wenjabulo nokufunda. Izingane ezincane ziyalingisa kanti abazali bayizibonelo zokuziphatha. Ifuna ukulingisa wena. Ifuna ukufunda. Yenza sengathi iyafunda. Kamuva izwa injabulo yokufunda.

Ngenxa yalokhu kuza enye inzuzo enkulu—ngokuvamile ayibi umlutha wethelevishini. Ayihlali iqhunsule amehlo ibheke izinkulungwane zokugwaza, ukudubula, ukubulala, ukudlwengula, ukuhlobonga, nokuphinga. Ingayivala ITV; ingavula incwadi ifunde. Umsebenzi wangempela ofezwayo kulezinsuku zokungakwazi ukufunda nokubhala nokuluthwa yiTV!

Kudinga Isikhathi Ukuthanda Ingane

Yebo, kudinga isikhathi ukufundela izingane. Futhi kudinga isikhathi ukudlala nengane yakho, ukudlala inqomfl noma umacashelana, ukuyibuka njengoba ikhala, iqala ukwenza izinto, ifuna izinto zasendlini, yanelisa ukufuna kwayo ukwazi, ikhaliphisa ikhono lokwakha. Ukunakekela kobuzali kudinga isikhathi. Futhi usuke uqale kahle uma izingane zisencane. Ngokuvamile kulapho umhosha ohlukanisa isizukulwane uqala khona; kungokungavamile ukuba zilinde zize zibe seminyakeni eyeve eshumini elinambili. URobert J. Keeshan, umsakazi osakazela izingane njengoKaputeni Kangaroo, usitshela ngendlela okungenzeka ngayo:

“Ingane encane ilindela ukufika komzali ekhaya, isithupha sisemlonyeni, unodoli esesandleni, inokungabekezeli okuthile. Ifisa ukumxoxela ngokuhlangenwe nakho kokudlala ngenhlabathi. Ijatshuliswa ukuhlanganyela injabulo eyibonile ngalolosuku. Isikhathi siyafika, umzali uyafika. Ekhathele ngenxa yokucindezela komsebenzi umzali ngokuvamile uthi enganeni, ‘Hhayi manje, Lulu. Ngimatasa, hamba uyobuka ithelevishini/ Amagama akhulunywa kakhulu njalo emakhaya amaningi aseMelika, ‘Ngimatasa, hamba uyobuka ithelevishini.’ Uma kungekhona manje, kunini? ‘Kamuva.’ Kodwa ngokuvamile ukamuva akafiki...

“Iminyaka iyadlula futhi ingane iyakhula. Siyinika izinto zokudlala nokokwembatha. Siyinika izingubo zokugqoka ezingavamile nesidlalimarekhodi kodwa asiyiniki lokho ekufuna kakhulu, isikhathi sethu. Isineminyaka eyishumi nane, amehlo ayo aqala ukuhlakanipha, kukhona okuthile okushaya amanzi. ‘Ndodakazi yami, kwenzekani? Ngitshele, ngitshele.’ Sekwephuze kakhulu. Uthando luye lwaseqa. . . .

“Lapho sithi enganeni, ‘Hhayi manje, kamuva.’ Lapho sithi, ‘Hamba uyobuka ITV’ Lapho sithi, ‘Ungabuzi imibuzo eminingi kangaka.’ Lapho sehluleka ukunikeza izingane zethu into eyodwa eziyidingayo kithi, isikhathi sethu. Lapho sehluleka ukuthanda ingane. Asibona abanganaki. Simane nje simatasa kakhulu ukuthanda ingane.”

Kuyiqiniso, ukuthanda ingane yakho kudinga isikhathi. Hhayi nje isikhathi sokondla umzimba wayo ngokudla nokuyembathisa kodwa isikhathi sokugcwalisa inhliziyo yayo ngothando. Hhayi uthando olukalwayo, olulinganiswayo, futhi lunikwe ngokwaba kodwa olugelezayo ‘nothando olungenasisekelo,’ njengoba uBurton L. White, umlobi weThe First Three Years of Life, ekubiza. Wathi: “Kuwubuwula ngempela ngabazali abasebenzayo ukudlulisela umsebenzi oyinhloko wokondliwa kwengane komunye umuntu, ikakhulukazi ezindaweni ezinakekelayo. Manje, ngiye ngahlaselwa ngamazwi ngenxa yaleyonkulumo, kodwa engikukhathalelayo yilokho okungcono kakhulu ngezingane ezincane.” Ubheka lokhu ‘njengokungcono kakhulu ngezingane ezincane,⁹ nakuba azi ukuthi lomqondo awunakwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokwezomnotho lapho umzali oyedwa ngisho noma bobabili kumelwe basebenze.

Indlela Yokuqeqesha—Indaba Ezwelayo!

lBhayibheli lihlaselwa kakhulu ngamazwi ngenxa yeseluleko salo ngendlela yokuqeqesha. “Oyeka uswazi uyazonda indodana yakhe, kepha oyithandayo uyayilaya ngesineke.” (izAga 13:24) Kulelivesi amazwi aphansi eNew International Version Study Bible athi: “uswazi. Mhlawumbe isifenqo senkulumo sendlela yokuqeqesha yanoma yiluphi uhlobo.” IVine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words ichaza “uswazi” ‘njengentonga yobukhosi, njengesibonakaliso sokubusa.’

Ukubusa kwabazali kungase kuhlanganise ukushaya, kodwa ngokuvame kakhulu akudingeki. Ngokweyesi-2 Thimothewu 2:24, 25, amaKristu kumelwe ‘abemnene kubo bonke, . . . alaye ngomoya omnene. Igama elithi ‘ukulaya’ lapha lihunyushwe egameni lesiGreki elisho ukuqeqesha. Ukuqeqesha kumelwe kwenziwe kucatshangelwa nemizwa yezingane: “Naniboyise, ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, kodwa nibondle ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.”—Efesu 6:4.

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezisekela ukuyekelela zithi uma ushaya ingane yakho uyayizonda. Lokhu akulona iqiniso. Ukuyekelela kuwukuzonda. Kuye kwayekelela igagasi lokudelela kwentsha nobugebengu emhlabeni wonke futhi kwabangela usizi ezigidini zabazali. Kunjengoba izAga 29:15 zithi: “Umntwana oyekwayo uyahlazisa unina.” Ngaphansi kwesihloko esithi “Ukuba nesandla esiqinile kanye nabazali abayekelelayo,” uDr. Joyce Brothers uthi:

“Ukuhlolwa kwamuva cishe kwezingane ezisebangeni lesihlanu noma lesithupha eziyizi-2 000—ezinye zazo ezazikhuliswa abazali abanesandla esiqinile, ezinye ezazikhuliswa abazali abatotosayo—kwaveza imiphumela emangazayo. Izingane ezaziye zaqeqeshwa ngesandla esiqinile zazinezinga eliphakeme lokuzihlonipha futhi zaziphumelela kakhulu, ngokwezenhlalo yabantu nangokwemfundo.” Ingabe zazibazonda abazali bazo abanesandla esiqinile? Cha, “zazikholelwa ukuthi imithetho yobuzali yayiye yabekelwa inzuzo yezingane ngokwazo—futhi yayiwukubonakaliswa kothando lobuzali.”

UWhite uthi uma unesandla esiqinile enganeni yakho, akudingeki wesabe “ukuthi ngeke ikuthande kakhulu njengoba bekungaba njalo uma wawuthambile. Izingane eziseminyakeni emibili yokuqala yokuphila azisuki kalula kulabo abazinakekelayo ngokuyihloko; ngisho noma uzishaya njalo, uyozithola ziqhubeka zibuyela kuwe.”

Imfundiso Engcono Kakhulu Kunazo Zonke

Nguwe. Isibonelo sakho. Uyisibonelo sengane yakho esinendima enkulu. Izwa kakhulu lokho oyikho kunalokho okushoyo. Izwa amazwi akho, kodwa ilingisa izenzo zakho. Ingane yakho ingumlingisi. Ngakho-ke, ufuna ibe yini? Ibe nothando, nomusa, iphane, ikhuthalele ukutadisha, ihlakaniphe, ikhuthale, ibe umfundi kaJesu, ibe umkhulekeli kaJehova? Noma ngabe iyini, yiba yilokho wena ngokwakho.

Ngakho qeqesha ingane yakho kusukela ebuntwaneni, lapho ubuchopho bayo bukhula ngokushesha, budonsa ukwaziswa nemizwa ngengqondo nenhliziyo. Kodwa uma leyominyaka ebucayi oyoyakha isidlule futhi ubuntu bokwesaba uNkulunkulu bungazange bufakwe ezinganeni zakho, kuthiwanike? Ungalahlekelwa yithemba. Ushintsho kunokwenzeka futhi luyenzeka ezigidini, kokubili kwabancane nakwabadala, ngamandla kaNkulunkulu. iZwi likaNkulunkulu lithi: “Nikhumule umuntu omdala kanye nezenzo zakhe, nembethe omusha, owenziwamusha abenokwazi ngokomfanekiso walowo owamdalayo.”—Kolose 3:9, 10.

[Isithombe ekhasini 30]

Isikhathi sokugeza singaba esijabulisayo