Kazi Kwenzekeni ‘Ekwaziseni Abazali Bakho’?

OMUNYE ubaba wathi maqondana namadodana akhe amabili: “Lapho ngiveza imibono yami benza sengathi bayayilalela. Kazi kwenzekeni ‘Ekwaziseni abazali bakho’?” Ngokufanayo, umphathi wezenhlalakahle yomkhaya waphawula: “Kulezinsuku, abantu abasha abamane nje baphendule abazali babo, ngokuvamile bayaleyisa igunya labo.”

Noma ungomusha noma ungomdala, kungenzeka uye waqaphela ukuthi abantu abaningi abasha namuhla ababalaleli futhi ababahloniphi abazali babo. Lena yindaba okumelwe uyikhathalele, noma ungomusha noma ungomdala. Kungani?

Kungoba ukungezwani komzali nomntwana okubonayo kuyingxenye yesimo, izinhlobonhlobo zezehlakalo, eziphawula lezikhathi njengezinsuku zokugcina. NgokweBhayibheli, isikhathi esibizwa ngokuthi “izinsuku zokugcina” singaphambi kokubhujiswa kokugcina kwesimiso sezinto somhlaba wonke. (2 Thimothewu 3:1) Nokho, kuzobakhona abasindayo abazojabulela ukuphila ngaphansi kukahulumeni woqobo wasezulwini.—Daniyeli 2:44; IsAmbulo 21:1-4.

Kodwa ukungalaleli abazali kufanelana kanjani nalokho iBhayibheli elikushoyo ngesikhathi sanamuhla nesizayo? Komagazini bangaphambili beNqabayokulinda siye sahlaziya isiprofetho sikaJesu Kristu kuMathewu 24, uLuka 21 noMarku 13. UJesu wabhekisela ezehlakalweni zomhlaba ezaziyophawula “ukuphela kwezwe”: izimpi, ukuzamazama komhlaba, nokungabi namthetho, ukubala ezimbalwa. Nokho, manje, sibhekisela encazelweni ehlobene yesiprofetho salesikhathi, etholakala ku-2 Thimothewu 3:1-5. Esikhundleni sokukhuluma ngamandla angaphezulu athonya isintu, iBhayibheli lapha liqokomisa imibono yabantu abahlangabezana nalezizenzakalo ezimangalisayo. Lithi:

“Yazi lokhu ukuthi ezinsukwini zokugcina kuzakuvela izikhathi ezinzima; ngokuba abantu bazakuba-ngabazithandayo, nabathandimali, nabazigabisayo, nabazidlayo, nabahlambalazayo, nabangalaleli abazali, nabangabongiyo, nabahlazisayo, . . . Labo-ke wobagwema.”

Phawula ukuthi lamazwi omphostoli uPawulu akhulumela indlela izinsuku zokugcina ezizobathinta ngayo abantu. Phawula, futhi, ukuthi ‘ukungalaleli abazali’ kwakuzovelela phakathi nesikhathi esibucayi esibizwa ngokuthi izinsuku zokugcina.

Ingabe Kugcwaliseka Osukwini Lwethu?

‘Sazi kanjani ukuthi uPawulu wayengakhulumi ngezimo zosuku lwakhe kuphela?’ abanye bangase babuze. Ngenxa yokuthi walandelisa isiprofetho sakhe ngeseluleko kumKristu othiwa uThimothewu, abanye ngokuqondakalayo bayamangala noma ngempela uPawulu wayebhala ngosuku lwethu. (2 Thimothewu 3:5, 14, 15) Phawula, nokho, ukuthi uPawulu uthi “ezinsukwini zokugcina kuzakuvela izikhathi ezinzima.” Kumelwe ukuba wayebhekisela kokwakuzakuvela esikhathini esizayo. UThimothewu watshelwa ukuba ‘agweme’ abantu ababonakalisa izici ezingathandeki, njengoba abanye ebandleni kakade babenza njalo. Kodwa amazwi kaPawulu abonisa ukuthi esikhathini esizayo izinsuku zokugcina zazizoba zimbi kakhulu.—Qhathanisa nabe-2 Thesalonika 2:6-12; 3:6-14.

Nokho, kungenzeka uke wezwa ukuthi abanye abacwaningi bathi abasha namuhla babambisana ngokunengqondo nabazali babo. Ngokuka-2 Thimothewu 3:1-5, ungacabangani ngezinkulumo ezinjalo? Ngaphambi kokuba ufinyelele isiphetho, make sihlole isiprofetho sikaPawulu ngokwesizinda somlando weBhayibheli.

“Yazisa Uyihlo Nonyoko”

Washo kanjalo owesihlanu kweyiShumi Imithetho. (Eksodusi 20:12) Lamazwi agxiliswa ezingqondweni zentsha engamaJuda. (Duteronomi 5:16, 6:6, 7) Ukungalaleli komuntu abazali bakhe kwakuwubuwula—icala elikhulu kwezinye izimo! (Duteronomi 21:18-21) Indlela yakudala yokuphila yasiza abazali ukuba bagcine lokhukuqondisa kothando kodwa okuqinile. Isimo somkhaya sasingesobunzalamizi. Izindima zabazali zazihlukaniswe kahle. Abantwana babebhekwa njengefa, isibusiso, futhi imisebenzi emphakathini wabo wezolimo yayibanika okuningi kokwenziwa.—Qhathanisa neHubo 127:3.

Nokho, njengoba isizwe sasichezuka ezindleleni zikaJehova, ukuphila komkhaya kwawohloka. Iminyaka ethile engama-800 ngemuva kokuba Imithetho eyiShumi inikeziwe, umprofethi uMika waphawula: “Indodana idelela uyise; indodakazi ivukela unina; . . . nezitha zomuntu ngamadoda endlu yakhe.” (Mika 7:6) Ngokufanayo, uHezekeli wathi ngomuzi waseJerusalema: “Bathukile kuwe uyise nonina.” (Hezekeli 22:7) Ukungahloniphi okukhulu kanjalo abazali kwakuyisibonakaliso sokonakala kokuziphatha okwandayo. Ngakho-ke, uNkulunkulu wathatha isinyathelo esinzima sokuqeqesha sonke isizwe.—Jeremiya 1:15, 16.

Ngokwalombono, kungenzeka uyavuma ukuthi okuningi ukuziphatha kwentsha yekhulu lama-20 kwakuzobonakala kushaqisa kuPawulu emuva ekhulwini lokuqala. Imibono yenkululeko yanamuhla yokukhulisa umntwana yayingaziwa ngalesosikhathi. Ingakho, sidinga ukukhumbula ukuthi izifundo ezibonisa ukuphila komkhaya okujabulisayo kwanamuhla azizinaki izimiso zikaNkulunkulu ngabantwana. (Efesu 6:1-3) Lapho imibono nokuziphatha okuvamile phakathi kwentsha yanamuhla kuqhathaniswa nezimiso zikaNkulunkulu, singaqonda ukuthi kungani iBhayibheli libiza isizukulwane sanamuhla ngokuthi ‘asilaleli.’ Kungekhona ukuthi bonke abantwana bayahlubuka. Kodwa ukungalaleli kwande kakhulu futhi kungamandla—kuphawuleka kakhulu.

Nokho ingabe ‘ukungalaleli abazali’ ngempela kusemhlabeni wonke? Ingabe bukhona ubufakazi obanele bokungezwani komzali nomntwana obubonisa ukuthi siphila “ezinsukwini zokugcina”?—2 Thimothewu 3:1, 2.

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 4]

‘Akubona bonke abantwana abahlubukayo. Kodwa ukungalaleli kwande kakhulu futhi kungamandla’

Ukungalaleli Abazali—Ingabe Kuyisibonakaliso Sezinsuku Zokugcina?

“KUKHONA isizukulwane esithuka uyise, esingabusisi unina.” (IzAga 30:11) Lokhu kuchaza kahle lesizukulwane kusukela ngo-1914. Kodwa ingabe intsha kusukela ngalesosikhathi iye yaba ehlukile maqondana nalokhu? Uma kunjalo, kungani?

Izwe Lethu Elishintshayo

Ezikhathini ezidlule, umkhaya wawuyindawo yothando nokondliwa. Kwakungekho kungabaza ngezindima nemithwalo yemfanelo yamalungu omkhaya. Abesilisa babengabondli. Abesifazane abaningi babehlala ekhaya futhi banakekele abantwana nemisebenzi yendlu. Bobabili babefundisa abantwana babo imithetho nezimiso. Ngokuvamile abantwana babematasatasa kakhulu benza imisebenzi yasekhaya ukuze bangahileleki ekugangeni okungathi sína.

Izehlakalo kusukela ekugqashukeni kweMpi Yezwe I ziye zaphelisa lesimo esizothile. Njengoba nje uJesu aprofetha, ikhulu lethu liye laba elezimpi zonya, ukungabi namthetho nokuntuleka kokudla. (Mathewu 24:4-14) Ube yini umphumela? Ushintsho oluqatha endleleni yethu yokuphila. Lesikhathi sokuvakashela izindawo sikhulisa umhosha phakathi kwamalungu omkhaya ahamba ngawodwa. Bekhululwe yimisebenzi yolwazi emisebenzini eminingi yasekhaya enesizungu, abesifazane abaningi benza imisebenzi yasekhaya emamakethe emisebenzi. Othishela nezisebenzi ezinakekela abantwana ziye zamelela abazali. Abantwana balwisana nesizungu njengoba imishini yogesi yenza imisebenzi yasekhaya.

Lentuthuko yamuva iye yakhulisa kakhulu ukucindezeleka komkhaya. Amanani amadivosi aye aphakama ngokushesha. Asevamile namakhaya abazali abangabodwa. Omunye umama oyedwa uthi ngobunzima bokukhulisa umntwana eyedwa: “Ngesikhathi engifika ngaso ekhaya ngivela ehhovisini, abantwana bami basuke bephume esikoleni amahora amathathu ngaphambili. Ayikho indlela engingalandelela ngayo lokho abakwenzayo. Ngineqiniso lokuthi indodakazi yami eneminyaka eyi-16 ubudala ihlanganyela ubulili nomfana oseklasini layo, nokuthi indodana yami eneminyaka eyi-13 ubudala idlala echibini lehholo elisendaweni yakithi njalo ngemva kwesikole.”

Izisulu Zesizukulwane Sobu“Mina”

Mhlawumbe asikho esinye isizukulwane esiye sazikhathaza kangaka “ngamalungelo” omuntu siqu. Ngokwesinye isazi sengqondo esidumile, umphumela walokho ukuthi abazali “kancane kancane baye baqala ukuvumela abantwana babo ukuba baphikisane nabo, bavumela imizwa nemibono yabo, ngisho nokuba bathande ukungalaleli.” Ingabe lokhu kuhle?

Umlobi uRobert Coles owazuza umklomelo wonyaka wokuloba wathi: “Abazali abaningi bayesaba ukukhulisa abantwana babo bona ngokwabo—ngalokho okukholelwa yibo nokuziphatha okuhle abakukholelwayo. Besatshiswa yizo zonke lezazi ezibhala izincwadi ngokukhulisa umntwana futhi zibatshele ukuthi benzeni.” Njengezisulu zemibono yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuyekelela, abazali bazithola bevumela yonke imicabango yabantwana babo—kamuva babhekane neqiniso elishiwo iBhayibheli: “Inceku etotoswayo kwasebuntwaneni iyakuba ngengabongiyo ekugcineni.”—IzAga 29:21, NW.

Imiphumela Yethelevishini

Muva nje iNhlangano Yempilo Yengqondo yakhipha umbiko obanzi onesihloko esithi “IThelevishini Nokuziphatha.” Umbiko wabonisa ukuthi iTV, ngaphandle kokugcwalisa ingqondo ngobudlova obungakhathali nokuziphatha okubi, inezinye izici ezithikameza ukuphila komkhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, “enanini eliphakeme ngokumangalisayo lezibonelo,” isinqumo sokuthi imuphi umdlalo ozobukelwa sishiyelwa kubantwana, labo “ngokuvamile babonakala njengabanqumayo lokho okuzobukwa umkhaya; baye baba abenzi bezinqumo zomkhaya.”

Incwadi iGeneration of Narcissus ithi kukhona omunye umphumela omubi osithekile weTV. Ithi ngenxa yethelevishini “abantwana bahlangabezana nalokho okubizwa ngokuthi izwe loqobo ngephuzu elihlukile lokubheka. Kuyizwe elibonakala libazungezile.” Yebo, kungaba ukuthi umntwana ojwayele ithelevishini ukhulisa umbono wokuphila kobugovu ngokuphelele.

Konke lokhu izici eziye zathikameza ukufaneleka kwemvelo kokuphila komkhaya. Kodwa ingabe intsha ngempela isabela ngokuhlubuka egunyeni lobuzali?

Ukungalaleli—Okusobala Nokufihlakele

‘Ukwanda kokungabi namthetho’ phakathi kwabasha kungesinye sezibonakaliso eziningi ezisobala lezo abanye abasha abadlubulunda ngaso egunyeni lobuzali. (Mathewu 24:12) Ngokwesibonelo, kubikwa ukuthi “obuthathu kobune babo bonke ubugebengu obukhulu eGreat London [eNgilandi] benziwa abantwana besikole.” EUnited States “ukuboshwa kwentsha ngenxa yobugebengu bobudlova . . . kwaphakama ngama-293% phakathi kuka-1960 no-1975; futhi inani selilonke lokuboshwa kwentsha liphakama ngama-10% ngonyaka—ngaphezu kwesilinganiso sabadala ngokuphindwe kabili.” Imibiko evela eShayina ikhuluma ngo“kubulala, ukukhohlisa, ukweba, ukudlwengula, ukuthengisa insangu nokukhuthuza” kwentsha.

Obunye balobudlova obuthusayo buqondiswa ngisho nakubazali. Isazi sezenhlalo yabantu uRichard J. Gelles wasiza ekuqhubeni ukuhlola okwabonisa ukuthi “abasha abangaphezu kwezigidi ezi-2-1/2 [eUnited States] babikwa ukuba bashaye umzali okungenani kanye. Cishe abazali abayizi-900 000 bentsha . . . okungenani bashaywa ngesibhakela, balunywa, bakhahlelwa, bashaywa ngento elukhuni, badukluzwa, basongelwa noma kwasetshenziswa ummese noma isibhamu kubo.” Izenzo ezinjena ezishaqisayo zigcizelela ukubikezela kweBhayibheli kokuthi phakathi nezinsuku zokugcina abantu bazakuba nga“bangenaluthando.” (2 Thimothewu 3:3) Okwakushayisa uvalo, ngempela, isiphetho sokuthi “kungenzeka, kokubili izilinganiso nezibikezelo kwanciphisa iqiniso lobudlova bentsha kubazali.” (Omalukeke abethu).—The Urban & Social Change Review, Umqulu 15, Nombolo 1, 1982.

Ubufebe bungenye yezindlela abasha abamelana ngayo nezifiso zabazali babo. Kokunye ukuhlola kwabasha baseMelika abayizi-160 000, amaphesenti angama-31 abaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-13 neyi-15 ubudala bavuma ukuthi baba nobuhlobo bobulili. Kwabaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-16 neyi-18 ubudala, amaphesenti angama-58 ahlanganyela. Ngokufanayo iJapani ibika ukuthi “ukuvama kokuhlanganyela ebulilini okuhilela amantombazane eve eshumini kuye kwaphakama kakhulu kuleminyaka eyisikhombisa edlule.”

Abanye abeve eshumini basebenzisa uphuzo oludakayo noma imilaliso ngasese. Cishe abangamaphesenti angama-43 bavuma ukuthi bake babhema insangu. Abacwaningi baphetha ngokuthi ukubhema insangu “kungukuchitha isikhathi okuvamile kwabaningi abeve eshumini.” Ingxenye yavuma ukuthi yayingaqamba amanga kubazali bayo uma yayingabuzwa ngokubhema insangu.

Abanye abasha, bekhungathwe abazali abafuna impumelelo kodwa bebanika ukusekela okuncane, bahlubuka ngokuzothile ngokuhluleka ngamabomu esikoleni. Futhi abanye abalalelia ngokunqaba ukuba bathonywe ukulandelela ukuziphatha okuhle kwabazali babo noma izimiso zenkolo. Abasha abangamaphesenti angama-53 kuphela kwabahlolwa bathi babengayilandela inkolo yabazali babo. Abanye bathi babengeke noma babengaqiniseki. Yeka ukuthi lokhu kujabhisa kanjani kubazali! Amaphesenti ayi-17 nje athi afuna iseluleko sabazali babo ngobulili; futhi abambalwa babengacela iseluleko sabazali babo ngemilaliso. Ukuphikisana okunjalo kwemibono kuphendula amakhaya abe izinkundla zokulwa.

Lokho Ongakwenza

Khona-ke kungashiwo ngesibindi ukuthi isizukulwane sethu sihlukile, sikhuliswe ngaphansi kwezimo ezihlukile. Ukuthambekela kwezwe ekungalalelini, kuhlanganise nobunye ubufakazi, kusiholela esiphethweni esingenakubalekelwa sokuthi siphila ezinsukwini zokugcina.

Nokho, oFakazi BakaJehova baye bathola ukuthi isifundo seBhayibheli—hhayi imibono yanamuhla ephambene yokukhulisa umntwana—sibahlomisela ukuba bakwazi ukuphatha izinkinga zanamuhla. Bathola iseluleko esikwabase-Efesu 6:1-4 singokoqobo futhi sisebenza: “Bantwana, lalelani abazali benu eNkosini, ngokuba lokho kulungile. . . . Nani-boyise ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, kodwa nibondle ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.” Khona-ke, oFakazi, bangajabula ukukusiza ukuba uqale isifundo seBhayibheli esihlelekile.

Ngisho noma ungesiye umzali, isifundo seBhayibheli singakuzuzisa kakhulu. Ukuhlolisisa okwengeziwe iZwi likaNkulunkulu kuyokusiza ukuba ujwayelane noNkulunkulu nezinjongo zakhe. Lena yindlela ehlakaniphile, ngoba iBhayibheli liyakhuthaza: “Funani ukulunga; funani ukuthobeka; mhlawumbe niyakusitshekelwa ngosuku lolaka lukaJehova.”—Zefaniya 2:3.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 5]

‘Cishe abazali abayi-900 000 bentsha bashaywa ngesibhakela, balunywa, bakhahlelwa, bashaywa, noma basongelwa noma kwasetshenziswa ummese noma isibhamu kubo’

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 7]

Omunye umama ongayedwa wathi: “Ngesikhathi engifika ngaso ekhaya ngivela ehhovisini, abantwana bami basuke bephume esikoleni amahora amathathu ngaphambili. Ayikho indlela engingalandelela ngayo lokho abakwenzayo.”

[Isithombe ekhasini 6]

Abazali abaye bahlulwa imibono eyekelelayo yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuvamile bagcina benomntwana owuhlupho