UBebe wayesondelene kakhulu noyise. Amazwi asekuqaleni ashiwo umngane womndeni owayenezinhloso ezinhle, kodwa kunokuba amduduze, amzwisa ubuhlungu uBebe. Wayelokhu ezitshela: “Ayikho nencane into enhle ngokufa kukababa.” Eminyakeni ethile kamuva, lapho uBebe elandisa ngokufa kukayise encwadini, kwaba sobala ukuthi wayesabuzwa ubuhlungu.

Njengoba kwenzeka kuBebe, kungathatha isikhathi eside ngomuntu ukuba anqobe usizi, ikakhulukazi uma oshonelwe ebesondelene kakhulu nomufi. EBhayibhelini ukufa kuchazwa kufanele “njengesitha sokugcina.” (1 Korinte 15:26) Kuyisitha esinamandla esiphazamisa ukuphila kwethu futhi ngokuvamile kufika singakulindele kusiphuce abathandekayo bethu. Akekho kithi ongabhekani nemiphumela yako. Ngakho kungokwemvelo ukukhungatheka lapho kufa othandekayo.

Mhlawumbe wake wazibuza: ‘Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukunqoba usizi lokushonelwa?’ Umuntu angabhekana kanjani nosizi? Ngingabaduduza kanjani abashonelwe? Ingabe likhona ithemba ngabathandekayo bethu abashonile?

Ingabe wake wagula isikhathi esifushane? Mhlawumbe walulama ngokushesha kangangokuthi wakhohlwa ngokuphelele ukuthi uke wagula. Nokho, usizi alunjalo. Encwadini yakhe ethi Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart, uDkt. Alan Wolfelt wabhala: “Usizi alupheli.” Nokho, uyanezela: “Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba usekelwa abanye, usizi lwakho luyodamba.”

Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngendlela inzalamizi u-Abrahama eyasabela ngayo lapho kushona inkosikazi yayo. IBhayibheli lithi “u-Abrahama wangena ukuzolilela uSara nokuzomkhalela.” Igama elithi “ukuzolilela” lisikisela ukuthi kwathatha isikhathi esithile ukuba abhekane nokushonelwa.a Esinye isibonelo uJakobe, owakhohliswa ukuba akholelwe ukuthi indodana yakhe uJosefa yabulawa isilwane sasendle. Waba lusizi “izinsuku eziningi” futhi amalungu omndeni wakhe ayengakwazi ukumduduza. Ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eminingana, wayesadangele kakhulu ngokushona kukaJosefa.—Genesise 23:2; 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

Nanamuhla kusenzeka okufanayo kwabaningi abashonelwe umuntu abasondelene kakhulu naye. Cabanga ngezibonelo ezimbili ezilandelayo.

• “Umyeni wami uRobert washona ngo-July 9, 2008. Usuku okwenzeka ngalo ingozi afa kuyo, lwalungahlukile kwezinye izinsuku. Ngemva kokudla kwasekuseni, njengoba sasihlale senza ngaphambi kokuba aye emsebenzini, saqabulana, sangana futhi satshelana ukuthi: ‘Ngiyakuthanda.’ Ngisabuzwa ubuhlungu, nakuba sekudlule iminyaka eyisithupha. Angiboni ukuthi buyoke buphele ubuhlungu bokushonelwa uRob.”—UGail, oneminyaka engu-60.

• “Nakuba sekuphele iminyaka engu-18 inkosikazi yami ethandekayo yashona, ngisayikhumbula futhi kusebuhlungu namanje. Noma nini lapho ngibona into ekhangayo emvelweni, ngivele ngicabange ngendlela ebiyokujabulela ngayo ukubona lokhu engikubonayo.”—U-Etienne, oneminyaka engu-84.

Kusobala ukuthi ubuhlungu obunjalo nobungapheli bungokwemvelo. Umuntu ngamunye ulila ngendlela yakhe futhi kungaba ukungahlakaniphi ukwahlulela indlela omunye umuntu asabela ngayo lapho eshonelwe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungase kudingeke ukuba sigweme ukuzizwa kabi uma indlela esisabela ngayo ibonakala inokweqisa. Singabhekana kanjani nosizi?

Ziningi izeluleko uma kuziwa kule ndaba. Nokho akuzona zonke eziwusizo. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye bangase bakweluleke ukuba ungakhali noma ukuba ungayivezi imizwa yakho. Abanye bangase bakukhuthaze ukuba wenze okuphambene nalokho, bathi yiveze yonke imizwa yakho. IBhayibheli linombono olinganiselayo kule ndaba osekelwa ucwaningo lwanamuhla.

Kwamanye amasiko ukukhala kwendoda kubhekwa njengehlazo. Kodwa ingabe sikhona ngempela isidingo sokuba namahloni ngokukhala ngisho naphambi kwabantu? Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziyavuma ukuthi kungokwemvelo ukukhala lapho usosizini. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukudabuka kungakusiza ukuba uqhubeke nokuphila naphezu kobuhlungu obukhulu obuzwayo. Nokho, ukufihla ubuhlungu obuzwayo kungakulimaza kunokuba kukusize. IBhayibheli aliwusekeli umbono wokuthi kubi noma kuyihlazo ukukhala kwendoda lapho isosizini. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngoJesu. Lapho kushone umngane wakhe othandekayo uLazaru, uJesu wakhala obala, ngisho noma ayenamandla okuvusa abafileyo!—Johane 11:33-35.

Kuyinto evamile ukucasulwa ubala lapho sishonelwe, ikakhulukazi lapho othandekayo eshone ngokuzumayo. Ziningi izinto ezingathukuthelisa umuntu oshonelwe, njengokuthi umuntu ohloniphekile asho izinto ezibuhlungu noma angaqiniseki ngazo. UMike waseNingizimu Afrika uthi: “Ngangineminyaka engu-14 lapho kushona ubaba. Emngcwabeni, umfundisi waseSheshi wathi uNkulunkulu udinga abantu abalungile futhi usheshe abathathe.a Lokho kwangicasula ngoba sasimdinga ngempela ubaba. Nakuba sekuphele iminyaka engu-63, kusangizwisa ubuhlungu.”

Kuthiwani ngomuzwa wecala? Ikakhulu endabeni yokufa okungalindelekile, oshonelwe angalokhu ecabanga, ‘Mhlawumbe ukube bengenze ngendlela ehlukile ngabe akashonanga.’ Noma mhlawumbe naxabana nomufi ngesikhathi nigcina ukubonana. Lokhu kungakwenza uzizwe unomuzwa wecala nakakhulu.

Uma ukhathazwa imizwa enjalo yecala nentukuthelo, kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngayo. Khuluma nomngane ozokulalela futhi akuqinisekise ngokuthi leyo mizwa ijwayelekile kwabaningi abashonelwe. IBhayibheli liyasikhumbuza: “Umngane weqiniso ubonisa uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi ungumfowabo womuntu ozalelwe isikhathi sosizi.”—IzAga 17:17.

UMngane omkhulu umuntu oshonelwe angaba naye uMdali wethu, uJehova uNkulunkulu. Thululela isifuba sakho kuye ngomthandazo ‘ngoba uyakukhathalela.’ (1 Petru 5:7) Ngaphezu kwalokho, uNkulunkulu uthembisa bonke abenza kanjalo ukuthi ‘ukuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga’ kuyoduduza imicabango nemizwa yabo. (Filipi 4:6, 7) Vumela nokuba uNkulunkulu akusize welulame ngeZwi lakhe elinenduduzo, iBhayibheli. Yenza uhlu lwemiBhalo eduduzayo. (Bheka ibhokisi.) Ungafuna nokuyibamba ngekhanda eminye yayo. Ukucabanga ngezinto ezinjalo, kungakusiza nakakhulu ebusuku lapho uwedwa futhi ukuthola kunzima ukulala.—Isaya 57:15.

Indoda eneminyaka engu-40 esizoyibiza ngoJack, isanda kushonelwa yinkosikazi yayo ebinesifo somdlavuza. UJack uthi ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa enomzwangedwa. Kodwa umthandazo uye wamsiza. Uyachaza, “Lapho ngithandaza kuJehova angibi nawo umzwangedwa. Ngivame ukuphaphama ebusuku ngingabe ngisakwazi ukulala. Ngemva kokufunda nokuzindla ngamazwi aduduzayo aseBhayibhelini nokutshela uJehova lokho okusenhliziyweni yami ngomthandazo, ngifikelwa ukuthula nokuzola okubangela ukuba ingqondo nenhliziyo yami kuphumule futhi ngikwazi ukulala.”

Intokazi egama layo linguVanessa yashonelwa umama wayo owayegula. Nayo iye yawabona amandla omthandazo. Ithi: “Ngezikhathi ezinzima ngangivele ngibize igama likaNkulunkulu bese ngiyakhala. UJehova wayeyilalela imithandazo yami futhi njalo enginika amandla engangiwadinga.”

Abanye abeluleki babantu abashonelwe baluleka labo abakuthola kunzima ukubhekana nosizi ukuba banikele ngesikhathi sabo ekusizeni abanye. Ukwenza kanjalo kungabenza bajabule futhi kungadambisa ubuhlungu bokushonelwa. (IzEnzo 20:35) AmaKristu amaningi ashonelwe aye athola ukuthi ukusiza abanye kuye kwawaduduza kakhulu.—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.

Ingabe wake wadideka lapho umuntu oseduze kwakho elilela umuntu amthandayo oshonile? Ngezinye izikhathi singase singaqiniseki ngokuthi sithini noma senzeni—ngakho sigcina singasho lutho futhi singenzi lutho. Kodwa zikhona izinto eziwusizo esingazenza.

Ngokuvamile okudingekayo nje ukuthi ube khona futhi usho into elula njengokuthi, “phephisa.” Ezindaweni eziningi, ukwanga umuntu noma ukumbamba ingalo kubonisa ukuthi uyamkhathalela. Uma oshonelwe efuna ukukhuluma, lalela ngozwela. Okuwusizo nakakhulu, yenzela umndeni oshonelwe okuthile, mhlawumbe ungenza umsebenzi wasendlini onjengokupheka, ukunakekela izingane, noma ukusiza ngamalungiselelo omngcwabo uma befisa kanjalo. Izenzo ezinjalo zingaduduza kakhulu ukudlula amazwi enduduzo.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungase uthande ukukhuluma ngomufi, mhlawumbe ngezimfanelo zakhe ezinhle noma ngezikhathi enazijabulela naye. Izingxoxo ezinjalo zingase zenze oshonelwe amomotheke. Ngokwesibonelo, uPam—owashonelwa umyeni wakhe u-Ian, eminyakeni eyisithupha edlule—uthi: “Ngezinye izikhathi abantu bangitshela izinto ezinhle u-Ian ayezenza mina engingazazi, futhi lokho kungenza ngijabule.”

Abacwaningi babika ukuthi abaningi abashonelwe basekelwa kakhulu lapho besanda kushonelwa, kodwa ngokushesha izidingo zabo ziyalibaleka njengoba abangane beqhubeka nokuphila kwabo. Ngakho, qiniseka ukuthi ulokhu uxhumana nomngane oshonelwe ngemva komngcwabo.a Abaningi abashonelwe balazisa ngokujulile ithuba lokuzikhulula osizini olungapheli.

Cabanga ngesibonelo sikaKaori, owesifazane osemusha ongumJapane owayekhungathekiswe ukushona kukanina okwalandelwa ukushona kukadadewabo omdala ngemva kwezinyanga ezingu-15. Ngokujabulisayo, abangane bakhe abaqotho baqhubeka bemsekela. Omunye umngane wakhe, uRitsuko, mdala kakhulu kunoKaori futhi wazicelela ukuba umngane wakhe oseduze. UKaori uthi, “Uma ngikhuluma iqiniso angikuthandanga lokho. Ngangingafuni kube nomuntu othatha isikhala sikamama futhi ngangingacabangi ukuthi ukhona owayengakwenza lokho. Nokho, ngenxa yendlela umama uRitsuko ayengiphatha ngayo, ngasondelana naye. Sasishumayela masonto onke futhi siya emihlanganweni yobuKristu ndawonye. Wayengimema ukuba sizophuza itiye, engilethela ukudla futhi engibhalela izincwadi namakhadi. Umoya omuhle kamama uRitsuko waba yithonya elihle kimi.”

Sekuphele iminyaka engu-12 umama kaKaori ashona futhi manje yena nomyeni wakhe bangabashumayeli besikhathi esigcwele. UKaori uthi, “Umama uRitsuko uyaqhubeka engikhathalela. Lapho ngibuyela ekhaya, ngihlale ngimvakashela futhi ngiyazijabulela izingxoxo ezakhayo esiba nazo.”

Esinye isibonelo somuntu owazuza ekusekelweni okuqhubekayo, uPoli, onguFakazi KaJehova eCyprus. UPoli wayenomyeni onomusa, uSozos, owayengumalusi ongumKristu oyisibonelo esihle, owayejwayele ukumema izintandane nabafelokazi ekhaya labo ukuze bajabulele ubudlelwane nokudla. (Jakobe 1:27) Ngokudabukisayo, uSozos washona eneminyaka engu-53, ngenxa yesimila ebuchosheni. UPoli uthi, “Ngashonelwa umyeni owayeqotho engangishade naye iminyaka engu-33.”

Ngemva komngcwabo, uPoli wathuthela eCanada nendodana yakhe uDaniel eneminyaka engu-15. Bafika lapho bazihlanganisa nebandla loFakazi BakaJehova. UPoli uyakhumbula, “Abangane engabathola ebandleni elisha babengazi lutho ngathi nangobunzima esasibhekene nabo. Kodwa lokho akubavimbanga ukuba basondele kithi, basiduduze futhi basisize ngezindlela ezingokoqobo. Yeka indlela lokho okwaba usizo ngayo, ikakhulukazi ngaleso sikhathi indodana yami eyayidinga ngaso ubaba wayo kakhulu! Labo abaholayo ebandleli babonisa isithakazelo esikhulu kuDaniel. Omunye wabo ngokukhethekile, wayeqikelela ukuthi uyammema uDaniel lapho kunemibuthano noma kudlalwa ibhola. Bobabili umama nendodana baqhuba kahle.

Qiniseka ngokuthi ziningi izindlela esingasiza futhi siduduze ngazo abalilayo. IBhayibheli liphinde lisiduduze ngethemba elijabulisayo ngekusasa.

Cishe uyakhumbula ukuthi uGail, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni kwalolu chungechunge, uyangabaza ukuthi ubuhlungu bokushonelwa umyeni wakhe uRob buyoke buphele. Noma kunjalo, ubheke phambili ekumboneni ezweni elisha elithenjiswe uNkulunkulu. Uthi: “UmBhalo engiwuthanda kakhulu isAmbulo 21:3, 4.” Ufundeka kanje: “UNkulunkulu ngokwakhe uyoba nabo. Uyosula zonke izinyembezi emehlweni abo, ukufa ngeke kusaba khona, noma ukulila noma ukukhala noma ubuhlungu ngeke kusaba khona. Izinto zangaphambili zidlulile.”

UGail uthi: “Lesi sithembiso siduduza ngempela. Ngizwelana ngempela nabantu abaye bashonelwa abathandekayo babo kodwa abangalazi leli themba lokuvuswa kwabafileyo.” UGail uphila ngokuvumelana nezinkolelo zakhe ngokuba umshumayeli wesikhathi esigcwele, ufundisa abantu ngesithembiso sikaNkulunkulu ngekusasa lapho ‘ukufa kungeke kusaba khona.’

Ungase uthi, ‘Akukholakali.’ Kodwa cabanga ngesibonelo sendoda egama layo linguJobe. Yayigula kakhulu. (Jobe 2:7) Nakuba uJobe ayefisa ukufa, wayesenalo ukholo emandleni kaNkulunkulu okumvusa. Ngokuqiniseka wathi: “O ukube ubungangithukusa . . . Uyobiza, futhi mina ngiyokuphendula. Uyolangazelela umsebenzi wezandla zakho.” (Jobe 14:13, 15) UJobe wayeqiniseka ngokuthi uNkulunkulu wakhe uyomkhumbula futhi uyolangazelela ukumvusa.

Maduzane, uNkulunkulu uzokwenza lokho kanye—avuse uJobe nabanye abaningi—lapho lo mhlaba ushintshwa uba ipharadesi. (Luka 23:42, 43) IzEnzo 24:15 zisiqinisekisa ngokuthi, “Kuyoba khona uvuko.” UJesu uyasiqinisekisa, “Ningamangali ngalokhu, ngoba ihora liyeza lapho bonke abasemathuneni beyokhunjulwa futhi bayolizwa izwi layo baphume.” (Johane 5:28, 29) UJobe uyokubona ukugcwaliseka kwaleso sithembiso. Uyoba nethuba lokuphinde abe ‘nobungqabavu bobusha bakhe,’ nenyama yakhe iyoba ‘yintsha kunasebusheni’ kuze kube phakade. (Jobe 33:24, 25) Kuyokwenzeka okufanayo kubo bonke ababonisa ukwazisa ngelungiselelo likaNkulunkulu lomusa lokuvusela abafileyo emhlabeni.

Uma uye washonelwa umuntu omthandayo, izinto esixoxe ngazo zingase zingaluqedi ngokuphelele usizi lwakho. Kodwa ngokuzindla ngezithembiso zikaNkulunkulu eziseBhayibhelini, ungathola ithemba langempela namandla okuqhubekela phambili.—1 Thesalonika 4:13.

Ungathanda ukuthola okwengeziwe ngendlela ongabhekana ngayo nosizi? Noma ingabe uzibuza imibuzo enjengokuthi, “Kungani uNkulunkulu evumela ububi nokuhlupheka?” Sicela ungene engosini yethu ethi jw.org/zu, ukuze uthole izimpendulo zeBhayibheli eziduduzayo nezisebenzayo.