Is the “Gay Life” Really Gay?

LIFE must be faced as it is, not as one wishes it would be. Many homosexuals may wish that the world would accept them as they are simply​—as people—​without any regard as to whether they choose males or females as bed partners. But the fact of the matter is that the world does not, generally speaking, fully accept a person known to be a homosexual.

The homosexual may call this unfair or discriminatory. But most people are not attracted to the homosexual way of life. If anyone is involved in it or just starting to be so involved, that is a necessary point to keep in mind. The view of homosexuality held by most people will create real problems for such a one.

Effects of Employment and Social Life

Suppose, for instance, that the homosexual wants to hold down a good job as a schoolteacher. What has happened in such circumstances? Sometimes parents and school administrators have wondered: “What happens if a male homosexual has a job of teaching young boys? What kind of influence will he have on them?” The homosexual may think that that is a very unfair question. But can you really blame others for asking? A person may have chosen to be a homosexual. But suppose that the parents do not want that for their children?

Or, here is another situation that comes up. In most companies a young man today is expected to bring a wife, girl friend or fiancee to any social functions. What does the secret homosexual do in this case? Often he does bring a girl, dishonestly feigning interest in her.

Thus a Dallas, Texas, homosexual, says: “There are plenty of very sought after young men in this city who make it a point to date the prettiest girls they can find. Many a girl would like to marry them, but their object is to be seen. In order to keep an embarrassing situation from occurring, they have to keep switching girls.” But a man cannot follow a course of action like that indefinitely. Eventually what happens? He answers:

“The pressure is intense. I did this for a long time and finally gave up. It wasn’t fair to me and wasn’t fair to the girls I was dating. But survival is the main thing and we all have our own ways of doing it.”

Frankly now, is that what you want in life? People like that are living a lie. They do not live this lie just when they may be with their homosexual friends. But twenty-four hours a day they are trying to provide themselves a “cover.” Eventually many, like the one from Dallas, must cave in and stop trying to hide behind a facade of respectability.

Family and Personal Problems

Further aggravating such problems is the fact that some do not “come out of the closet” until after they do get married and have a family. Then a brokenhearted marriage mate must be faced. Children must be told. Counselors admit that some of their most frustrating work is with young people who have learned of a parent’s homosexuality.

But what about homosexual “marriages”? Do they not replace the usual heterosexual relationships? Not according to homosexuals. They say that the homosexual relationship is very uncertain and unstable. True, there are some isolated examples of lifelong homosexual “marriages”; but they are the exceptions and are themselves sometimes marked by “infidelity.” Do you doubt this unstable condition? Then consider what homosexual William Carroll writes:

“While the homosexual couples I have known have usually struggled to maintain a loving and enduring relationship, very often these ‘marriages’ turned out to be tumultuous affairs, with each partner seeking a position of dominance in the relationship. Because of emotional conflicts, and various societal stresses and strains, most such love affairs do not last very long​—six months to two years is probably the average.”

Why are “most such love affairs” shortlived and “tumultuous affairs”? Well, consider how homosexuals make their contacts, as Carroll explains:

“Say it is a pleasant afternoon and you’re strolling along the street taking in the sights. You happen to notice that among the people up ahead, coming your way, is a young man who seems to be looking rather fixedly at you. As he approaches, for a split second, his eyes roam your body, and just as quickly become riveted to yours. This eye-to-eye communication​—he’s trying to tell you something—​continues until he passes you. Well, sir, you’ve just been ‘cruised.’ Anyone who is cruised and finds himself interested would casually stop, perhaps to examine a store window, then slowly look back. The young man with the roaming eyes will also have stopped down the street, and he, too, will be looking back.”

Sophisticated homosexuals may say that such practices as “cruising” are beneath their dignity. But Carroll disagrees:

“I don’t think it is putting it too strongly to say that cruising in streets, offices, stores, theater lobbies, or at parties​—and certainly in gay bars—​goes on almost continually for most gay men . . . The compulsivity and promiscuity implied by all of this activity is part and parcel of the whole gay world.”

As a consequence of the “compulsivity and promiscuity” homosexuals admit that they often have no idea with whom they are going to bed. They sometimes do not even know each other’s name.

Does that strike you as the way to develop a meaningful and lasting relationship with another person? Is it the way to get to know people you can trust? Hardly. It is no wonder that only “tumultuous affairs” follow!

Another adverse effect of this “compulsivity and promiscuity” is venereal disease. VD is on the increase among homosexuals and it affects them in ways known almost only to their world. Gonorrhea and syphilis of the larynx, mouth and anus are increasingly common among homosexuals, doctors report. That hardly strikes any self-respecting person as appealing.

A “Gay” Future?

And what about the future? Most persons, as they get older, want a degree of security. Do homosexuals feel this confidence? Most of them reveal otherwise. Ralph S. Schaffer brings this feeling on their part to light in an article in Gay Sunshine. He writes:

“At hundreds of gay liberation meetings in four cities, I have quietly raised my voice to speak of the youthism of gay life . . . It is the most vicious and entrenched of our [problems] . . . It is tragic because it leaves half our gay people lonely, alienated, and unwanted. . . . We hear a lot about the gay spirit, a spirit of a special tender love. Where is it? How can you speak of such a thing when millions of gays over 30 are lonely, isolated, rejected, unloved and unwanted! . . . Of course, young people don’t really believe they will someday be a hoary 33 years old! Believe me, it comes faster than you think. . . . In gay liberation I’ve known more gay people than in all my life. [But] I have never been so lonely.”

Schaffer feels the futility and hopelessness that faces every homosexual. Longlasting, trustful relationships​—anything even approaching security—​rarely exist among them.

Not surprisingly, many homosexuals lapse into deep depression. The Tucson Daily Citizen asked a local homosexual to discuss his life in an article. He opens his story: “How ironic that I’ve been asked to tell the story of what it’s like to be homosexual at a time when I have been contemplating ending my life . . . It’s crisis time. Again. As a male homosexual ages, the critical periods come quicker, sharper, deeper. I’m nearly 40, which is too old, too fat . . . too ugly to . . . attract a lover. (Having a lover is about the only hedge against the sickness of loneliness that proves terminal to nearly every homosexual.).” Other homosexuals agree, speaking of the “dread of growing old alone.”

The Bible’s View​—Is It Harsh?

Happiness and any degree of security are hard to come by for anyone today. But, as the life accounts of so many homosexuals show, their course is even more uncertain and, in fact, self-defeating. Compare their own confessions with the statements made by the apostle Paul concerning homosexuality: “God has abandoned them to degrading passions . . . and [they are] experiencing in their own persons the inevitable penalty of what they have done.” (Rom. 1:26, 27, An American Translation) Do not the admissions of actual longtime homosexuals and the results seen in their own course of life show up the truthfulness of these Biblical words? Does it not lead to an “inevitable penalty” of frustration and hopelessness? Yes​—according to the homosexuals.

Not surprisingly, therefore, the Bible says that homosexuality is “degrading” and that “those practicing such things are deserving of death.” (Rom. 1:32) Of course, it is up to God and his glorified Son to execute any such death penalty at the proper time.​—2 Thess. 1:6-10.

“But is this not harsh on God’s part?” some persons ask. After all, a person cannot help it if he is a homosexual, can he? It is true that many feel that change is all but impossible and so may conclude that God is being overly stern with homosexuals. They may argue that a person “is born a homosexual” and claim that there is a genetic inclination toward the practice. But if that is the case, why is it that some individuals are homosexual for only part of their life, maybe in their later years? If homosexuality were inherited, would it not be evident all through life and remain with them? That seems logical. So something other than inheritance must figure into the cause of their homosexual actions.

One study suggests that homosexual men tend to have less of the male hormone testosterone in their blood and fewer sperm than do heterosexual men. However, even if that were true, the point raised in The New England Journal of Medicine is valid: Are men homosexual because they lack testosterone? Or do men lose testosterone once they have become homosexuals? That cannot be positively determined.

Some defenders of homosexuality argue that the practice must be considered normal since, as they say, it is even found in the animal world. Male monkeys, for instance, have been observed mounting other male monkeys. Of course, just because animals may engage in a certain practice does not mean that humans should use that as an excuse to imitate or “ape” them, does it? But does the abundance of gathered evidence really indicate that animals are homosexual? No. The 1974 edition of the Encyclopædia Britannica says: “This great mass of data, however, cannot answer the question whether any of these animals is a homosexual. No adult animals other than human beings are known to prefer orgasmic intercourse regularly with their own sex.”

Others have said that lack of a strong father to lead the family contributes toward homosexuality. It cannot be denied that ideally a boy should have a manly example after which to pattern his life. (Eph. 6:1-4) However, if there were several boys in one family who had no father, should not all of them turn homosexual if that is the sole cause of the problem? Yet that rarely happens. Many boys have been reared with a lack of close fatherly direction and yet they did not turn to homosexuality.

There is virtual agreement among experts on this point: the exact cause of homosexuality is unknown. It is no doubt a combination of factors that turns a person from normal heterosexual relationships to homosexual ones. There is, however, in the last analysis, another fact to keep in mind: Homosexuals have chosen their way of life. Darrel Johnson, an editor of Gay-Vue magazine, shows that this is the case:

“A person apparently has the potential for conforming to any one or all of the various sexual modes. This being true, somewhere along the line a person finally settles on a preference.”

Warren Blumenfeld, coordinator of the national Gay Students Center, even compares the choice between “sexual modes” to buying an automobile; he says, ‘One person likes a Cadillac and another likes a sports car.’

People are “gay,” then, because that is what they want. As the Bible says, it is “in keeping with the desires of their hearts.” Therefore, the Bible’s condemnation of this practice is justified when it says that both male and female homosexuals receive “in themselves the full recompense, which was due for their error”; they “will not inherit God’s kingdom.”​—Rom. 1:24-27; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10.

It logically follows that they can change if they really want to change, does it not? The Bible is correct when it refers to some who carried on in such practices in the first century and says, “that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean.”​—1 Cor. 6:11.

Find the Real Life

Are you a member of the homosexual community? Can you say that you have honestly found satisfaction and fulfillment in that way of life? Thousands of homosexuals have learned in the hard way that the “gay life” is not gay. Their course, says homosexual William Carroll, “can lead to cynicism, despair and even suicide.” Why let that happen to you? Why not change course like those first-century homosexuals and really enjoy life?

Any person who is truly desirous of bringing his life morally into alignment with God’s will and finding true happiness is invited by the publishers of this magazine to contact Jehovah’s Witnesses. They want to help you to learn how you “might have life and might have it in abundance.”​—John 10:10.

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Will a homosexual teacher affect my child?

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Homosexual “marriage”​—does it last?