Young People Ask . . .

Unwed Motherhood​—Could It Happen to Me?

Robin figured it was her appendix. And when the nagging pain refused to go away, she decided it would be wise to see a doctor. She did not expect, though, a pregnancy test.

Nor did she expect to be told that the test was positive.

“My mind went completely blank at the news,” recalls Robin. “I lay on the table as if I had lost my mind. I couldn’t think about what was going to happen to me. I couldn’t think about how I was going to tell my mother and father. It wasn’t until I phoned my boyfriend and told him I was pregnant that it really hit me.”

EVERY year in the United States, well over a milliona unwed teenage girls receive the grim news that they are pregnant. Says Teenage Pregnancy: The Problem That Hasn’t Gone Away: “More than one in 10 teenagers gets pregnant each year, and the proportion is rising. If patterns do not change, four in 10 young women will get pregnant at least once while still in their teens.”

‘Could it happen to me?’ a young girl might therefore wonder.

Unwed Mothers on the Rise​—Why?

That so many young girls are becoming unwed mothers seems puzzling. Liberalized abortion laws and the easy availability of contraceptives have sparked the so-called sexual revolution. ‘At last,’ reason many, ‘young people can enjoy sexual intimacy without consequences.’ Yet teen pregnancies continue to occur at alarming rates. What accounts for this? Could it be that the unwed mother fits some sort of peculiar personality profile?

Some have theorized along these lines. For example, many unwed mothers come from poor families. Some therefore conclude that such girls simply have low moral standards. Others, though, attribute unwed motherhood to poor mother-daughter relations or even stress. Most shocking of all, though, is the contention that unwed mothers actually want to become pregnant, that having a baby fills some strong need for affection, or that they use pregnancy to trap a man into marriage.

Robin, however, laughs bitterly at such notions. For although at the time she wasn’t a member of the Christian congregation, she believed​—and continues to believe—​that premarital sex is wrong. (Research shows that unwed mothers from poor families indeed have moral standards​—though failing to live by them.) Further, she was experiencing no breakdown in family relations, nor was she trying to trap her boyfriend into marriage. “I wasn’t in love with him,” she admits. Yet Robin became pregnant.

Actually, it is the rare teenager who deliberately sets out to become pregnant. Why, then, unwed mothers? An article by Jerome D. Paulker draws this painfully obvious conclusion: “Out-of-wedlock babies are the result neither of the stork nor a desire for an out-of-wedlock child, but are rather the result of sexual intercourse.”​—Quoted in Unplanned Parenthood.

Sowing Without Reaping?

The rise in unwed motherhood therefore underscores the wisdom of the Bible’s counsel at Acts 15:29 to ‘abstain from fornication.’ Interestingly, that Bible verse further says: “If you carefully keep yourselves from these things, you will prosper. Good health to you!” True, few youths today heed this good advice. Reports the Alan Guttmacher Institute: “On average, teenagers begin sexual activity at about age 16. It is the exceptional young person who has not had premarital intercourse by age 19.” But what is wrong with being “exceptional” or different? Certainly, the girl who has the courage to say no to premarital sex will not experience the trauma of an unwanted pregnancy.

Some, though, feel it is possible to escape the consequences of violating God’s moral standards. The Alan Guttmacher Institute, for example, recommends a program of “realistic sex education, an expanded network of preventive family planning services . . . availability and accessibility of legal abortion services.” But is sanctioning permissiveness really practical? True, many youths are abysmally ignorant of the facts of life. Parents often fail to discuss such intimate matters with their children. Sex-education programs have likewise proved inadequate.

It is also true that ignorance of sexual matters is far from bliss. In his landmark study of over 400 pregnant teenagers, Frank Furstenberg, Jr., observed that “most remarked repeatedly in the interviews, ‘I never thought it would happen to me.’” Why? They were often filled with erroneous ideas. Because many of them knew friends who seemed to get away with having sexual relations, they figured they could too. Furstenberg also states: “A number mentioned that they did not think it was possible to become pregnant ‘right away.’ Others thought that if they had sexual relations only ‘every once in a while’ they would not become pregnant . . . The longer they went without conceiving, the more likely they were to assume greater risks.”b

Nevertheless, neither sex education nor birth control will prevent violators of God’s Word from ‘reaping what they sow.’

No Guarantee

Obviously, young people need accurate information about reproduction. And it is best that they obtain such from their parents. It may not be easy for them to talk about sex, but most parents will try.

Mere knowledge, however, will not prevent a girl from becoming an unwed mother​—if she engages in promiscuous sex. Robin, for example, knew about pregnancy and birth control. Yet she used nothing to prevent pregnancy. Why? For one thing, she feared​—as do many youths—​that using the pill would damage her health. However, she further admits: “For me to obtain birth control, I would have had to admit to myself that I was doing something wrong. I couldn’t do that. So I just blocked what I was doing out of my mind and hoped nothing would happen.”

Yes, girls who engage in premarital sex often find themselves tormented by their consciences! The Bible, at Romans 2:14, 15, shows that even non-Christians can be conscience-stricken if they violate moral standards. In Furstenberg’s aforementioned study, “nearly half of the teenagers stated that it was very important for a woman to wait until marriage to begin to have sex . . . Undeniably, there was an obvious discrepancy between the words and the deeds . . . They had acquired one set of standards and had learned to live by another.” This emotional conflict “made it especially difficult for these women to deal realistically with the consequences of their sexual behavior.”

True, many young people manage to silence the cries of their consciences and use birth control. But is this a guarantee that one will escape unwed motherhood? The book Kids Having Kids reminds us: “Every method has a failure rate. . . . Even if unmarried teens consistently use birth control methods . . . 500,000 would still become pregnant each year.” A 16-year-old unwed mother named Pat is then quoted as lamenting: “I took [birth-control pills] faithfully. I honestly never missed a day.”

‘You Reap What You Sow’

The words written in the Bible some two thousand years ago have thus proved true: “Do not be misled: God is not one to be mocked. For whatever a man is sowing, this he will also reap.” (Galatians 6:7) Of course, it is fornication that God’s Word condemns​—not marital pregnancy. Pregnancy is just one of the ways one can reap an unpleasant harvest from fornication.

Practicing fornication can have an effect even more devastating than pregnancy. It prevents a person from having a clean, acceptable standing before God. “For this is what God wills,” says the Bible, “that you abstain from fornication.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3) But there can be hope for those who have become entrapped in immorality. They may turn around and come to God with the repentant attitude of King David, who wrote: “Show me favor, O God, according to your loving-kindness. According to the abundance of your mercies wipe out my transgressions. Thoroughly wash me from my error, and cleanse me even from my sin.”​—Psalm 51:1, 2.

The risks of premarital sex​—physically and spiritually—​are great. Do not be fooled by those who say you can ‘get away with it.’

[Footnotes]

[Blurb on page 14]

‘I took the pill faithfully. I honestly never missed a day.’​—A 16-year-old unwed mother.

[Picture on page 13]

Many young people refuse to face the possible consequences of their actions