Young People Ask . . .

How Can I Get Along With My Teacher?

“A GOOD teacher,” says high-school teacher Barbara Mayer, “can challenge you to reach down and find talent and ability you never knew existed, and he can become a guide and even a friend who understands and really wishes the best for you.”

On the other hand, a teacher can also be what writer Theodore Clark called “an object of fear and anxiety.” Explains Clark: “Schoolteachers are very powerful. They can grade students, embarrass them, humiliate them, and create anxiety at will.” Fortunately, most teachers are genuinely concerned for their students and are reasonably fair. However, there are a few teachers who at times can be harsh, unreasonable, and unfair. Such ones can make life miserable for you.

A previous article helped us appreciate that teachers face unique pressures and problems that at times can affect their classroom behavior.a What, though, if a teacher seems to single you out repeatedly for ridicule or to give you what you feel are undeservedly low grades?

The Golden Rule in Class

Observes The Family Handbook of Adolescence: “Students who . . . seem by their behavior to belittle teachers’ beliefs are usually belittled in return.” Yes, the hostile teacher is often molded by his students!

Consider the effects of cruel classroom pranks. The book Listen to Us! tells of the cruel and unusual punishment sometimes handed out to substitute teachers, giving a glimpse of just how sadistic students can be. “You know what [substitutes] go through?” 13-year-old Valerie asks. Answering her own question, she speaks of “the torture, the torment,” kids nowadays put substitute teachers through.

Valerie exaggerates little. Says Roland Betts: “Substitutes are hounded unmercifully by their classes, often pushed to the point of cracking and breaking.” Certain that they can get away with it, students delight in having sudden attacks of clumsiness​—dropping their books or pencils on the floor in unison. Or they may try to frustrate their teacher by playing dumb and acting as if they cannot understand a word he says. “We sabotage for fun,” explains young Bobby.

Nevertheless, if you sow classroom cruelty, don’t be surprised if you reap a mean, hostile teacher. (Compare Galatians 6:7.) “One of the most basic tenets of human nature,” explains The Family Handbook of Adolescence, “is that people treat others in the manner they feel they are being treated.”

Besides, teachers have properly been placed in a position of authority for your benefit. And you owe them respect, even though their exercise of authority may not always be just. (Compare Luke 6:40.) Yet consider: If disrespectful treatment can bring out the worst in a teacher, might not respectful treatment bring out the best?

So remember the golden rule: “All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them.” (Matthew 7:12) Then refuse to join in classroom pranks. Be attentive to what your teacher says. Be cooperative. Perhaps in time he will feel a little less hostile​—at least toward you.

‘My Teacher Doesn’t Like Me’

The authors of the book Options admit “that teachers​—and parents—​are human, and they are apt to make mistakes and dislike a student every so often for purely emotional reasons.” At times a clash of personalities causes the problem. Or some sort of misunderstanding sets your teacher against you; inquisitiveness is confused with rebellion or a touch of whimsy with foolishness.

Sad to say, people still tend to be like the ancient Corinthians, who looked at things “according to their face value.” (2 Corinthians 10:7) And if a teacher dislikes you, he may be inclined to embarrass or humiliate you. As a result, it is understandable that mutual animosity may flourish.

How to Keep Peace

The counsel of the Bible is: “Return evil for evil to no one. . . . If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.” (Romans 12:17, 18) In other words, try not to antagonize your teacher. Avoid needless confrontations. Give your teacher no legitimate cause for complaint. In fact, try to be friendly. ‘Friendly? To him?’ you ask. Yes, show manners by respectfully greeting your teacher when you come to class. Your persistent politeness just might change his opinion of you.​—Compare Romans 12:20, 21.

High-school teacher Joyce Vedral recalls: “One day I was really in a bad mood. I was picking on everyone for the most minor offenses. Finally I yelled at a student who had not opened his book. I was about to threaten to lower his grade when suddenly I stopped, disarmed by the big, beautiful smile on his face. He smiled at me and kept smiling, and looking at my tense, somber face, he said, ‘Let’s just be happy.’ I had no choice but to break out into a smile too. Soon the whole class was smiling and laughing.”

True, not everyone can smile his way out of a situation. But Ecclesiastes 10:4 does advise: “If the spirit of a ruler [or, person in authority] should mount up against you [by chastising you], do not leave your own place, for calmness itself allays great sins.” Remember, too, that “an answer, when mild, turns away rage.”​—Proverbs 15:1.

‘I Deserved a Better Grade’

If the situation doesn’t improve, try talking out the problem with your teacher. This may not be easy. The Bible, though, tells of how Nathan approached the difficult task of exposing a serious shortcoming on the part of King David. Nathan did not barge into the palace shouting accusations. He approached David tactfully, using an illustration that allowed David to draw the proper conclusions himself.​—2 Samuel 12:1-7.

You might likewise humbly, and calmly, approach your teacher if you feel that some injustice​—such as giving you an unfair grade—​has taken place. Former schoolteacher Bruce Weber reminds us: “Rebellion in a student provokes obstinacy in a teacher. If you rant and rave or claim gross injustice and vow revenge, you’ll get nowhere.”​—Seventeen magazine.

Try a more adult approach. Maybe you can begin by asking your teacher to help you understand his grading system. Then, says Weber, you can “try to prove yourself the victim of an oversight or miscalculation rather than of bad judgment. Use your teacher’s own grading system; show her where you see the error in your grade.” At the very least, you are learning to negotiate tough issues. Your maturity may leave a positive impression upon your teacher.

Let Your Parents Know

At times, though, mere talk proves fruitless. Take Susan’s experience. As an honor student, she was shocked when one of her teachers started giving her failing grades. The problem? Susan was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and her teacher as much as admitted that she disliked Susan because of this. “It was really frustrating,” says Susan, “and I didn’t know what to do.”

The book Options recommends that in situations like this you “go to your parents and tell them that the teacher in question actually seems to dislike you, that he goes out of his way to punish you or to single you out for blame or ridicule.” This is what Susan did. “I gathered up courage,” she recalls, “and told my mother [a single parent] about this teacher. At first I didn’t think she was going to understand. But she said, ‘Well, maybe I can talk to your teacher.’ And during open house she went up and asked my teacher what the problem was. I thought my mother was really going to get upset, but she didn’t. She just calmly talked to her.” The teacher realized that Susan was backed by her mother and arranged for Susan to have a different teacher.

Admittedly, not all tangled affairs have such neat endings. Sometimes you just have to endure a difficult situation. But a school term is not forever. And if you can coexist peacefully with your teacher this term, there is always next year, when you’ll have a fresh start, perhaps different classmates​—and perhaps even a new teacher to learn to get along with.

[Footnotes]

[Blurb on page 12]

If disrespectful treatment can bring out the worst in a teacher, will not respectful treatment bring out the best?

[Picture on page 13]

If you feel that some injustice has occurred, respectfully approach your teacher