Young People Ask . . .

How Can I Be an Example to My Younger Brothers and Sisters?

PAUL knew how much his younger brother enjoyed watching television. So he was surprised one day when he saw him turn off the set right in the middle of a program. The reason? Paul’s brother explained: “It wasn’t a clean show. I knew you would have turned it off, so I turned it off myself.”

Without even realizing it, Paul had set an example for his younger brother to follow​—and a good one at that. Do you have younger siblings? Then what you say and do can likewise affect them. Says the book Sibling Rivalry, by Seymour V. Reit: “The drive to emulate an older sibling is incredibly strong and guides much of a young child’s actions. Older sibs are natural models.”

So, like it or not, because you are older and more responsible, your brothers and sisters will probably look up to you. They may try to copy the way you say and do things. Granted, always having to be an example to your siblings may seem burdensome at times.a “I’m the example for everyone else,” complains a teenage girl named Linda. “So my mom tells me that’s why I have to do good in school . . . I really have too much responsibility.” The pressure may be particularly great if you live in a single-parent household. “I’m practically their father,” wrote one boy about his younger siblings.

Nevertheless, being the older brother or sister has its advantages. For one thing, it allows you to be a positive influence in the lives of your siblings. Let’s see how.

In the Home

An ancient proverb says: “By wisdom a household will be built up, and by discernment it will prove firmly established.” (Proverbs 24:3) Of course, it is primarily the responsibility of your parents to build up your home, to make it a place where peace and pleasantness reign. But by showing some wisdom and discernment yourself, you can make a large contribution to the happiness of your family.

For example, how do you react when Mom or Dad asks you to take out the garbage or to clean up your room? Are you cooperative? Obedient? Or do you rebel or talk back disrespectfully? If so, don’t be surprised if your younger siblings soon begin talking back too. The wise and discerning thing to do is to follow the words of Proverbs 1:8: “Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.”

Granted, you may have a legitimate cause for complaint. Lamented one 18-year-old girl: “I don’t think my mom puts enough responsibility on my two brothers. Responsibility falls on me for everything: housework, setting examples, everything.” Perhaps she has a point. But rather than rebelling, is it not better to talk matters over with your parents in a calm and respectful manner? You can let them know how you feel and what you think might improve matters. By openly and freely communicating with your parents, not only are you making life better for yourself but you are also teaching your younger siblings the adult way to settle disagreements.

However, after talking things over with your parents, remember, they have the last word on the matter. So be happy with their decision. In this way you will also be setting a good example for your siblings.

Heated disputes over household chores can often be avoided altogether if you take the initiative. In other words, do you always have to be told not to leave your clothes all over the floor, or do you straighten things up without being prompted? Your quiet example in this regard can do much to help a younger brother or sister learn that in a family each one must carry his own load if things are to run smoothly.​—Compare Galatians 6:5.

At School

‘I hate school.’ ‘I don’t see why I have to go. I’m not learning anything.’ ‘Just as soon as I can, I’m going to quit school.’ Youths are often heard expressing such negative views of school. But do your younger siblings hear you talking that way? Do they see you skipping school or cutting classes? This could easily affect their attitude toward school.

Setting the right example means developing a wholesome, positive attitude regarding school. This may not be easy. But remember: Applying yourself in school can help you develop both mentally and spiritually. At the same time, it can help you to develop skills that will enable you to support yourself one day as an adult. The book Questions Young People Ask​—Answers That Work has a section entitled “School and Work.”b This contains useful information that may improve your attitude toward learning.

A good attitude toward school is sure to rub off on your younger brothers and sisters. And by taking a personal interest in their grades and homework​—volunteering to help them out from time to time—​you can do much to nurture their academic development. But what about the way you conduct yourself in school? How do you treat teachers, counselors, and school administrators? Are you sarcastic, argumentative, or do you set a good example by showing respect for their authority?​—Compare Titus 3:1, 2.

Your siblings will also observe what kind of friends you pick. If you begin running with the “in” crowd, you may soon find yourself “out” with God! Warns the oft-quoted text at 1 Corinthians 15:33: “Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.” At the same time, you might set a dangerous precedent for your siblings. One youth who was raised by a Christian mother chose to reject God’s ways and began associating with a group of young drug abusers. Soon he was a drug abuser himself. Fearing that his younger brother would follow in his footsteps, he warned him: “Don’t you start using drugs!” But his actions proved more influential than his words, and his brother soon fell in with the same bad crowd. Surely, you would not want your conscience burdened with the knowledge that you had become a stumbling block for your own brother or sister!​—Compare Matthew 18:7.

Setting the Example in Worship

For Christian youths it is most important to set a good example in matters related to worship. Your seriousness, reverence, and upbuilding speech not only will make the heart of your heavenly Father rejoice but can make a lasting impression on your younger brothers and sisters.​—Proverbs 27:11.

To illustrate: For some young ones among Jehovah’s Witnesses, the public preaching is difficult. (Matthew 24:14; 28:19, 20) Like Jeremiah of old, some youths simply feel inadequate. (Compare Jeremiah 1:6.) Others may even be embarrassed about being seen by their friends when engaging in this life-saving work. Could it be that your siblings are hindered by such negative attitudes? If so, try to have a positive view of the preaching work. Make a point of regularly going out in the preaching work with your family. As your siblings see you getting joy and fulfillment out of this work, they may want to imitate your faith.​—Compare Hebrews 13:7.

Consider, for example, a teenage girl named Crystal. She explains: “My personal goal is to spend at least two months each year as an auxiliary pioneer during the summer.”c What effect has her zeal had on her younger brother? Says Crystal: “My 12-year-old brother has been spending more time in the preaching work since I started doing this.”

Christian meetings give you another opportunity to set a good example. Attending regularly is a Scriptural requirement. (Hebrews 10:24, 25) Why not teach your siblings how to be organized and disciplined so that they can get their schoolwork done early and still attend the meetings? They may also learn to enjoy the meetings more if they see that you are always well prepared and make an effort to participate.

Living up to God’s requirements is not easy. But all Christian youths are required by God to “become an example . . . in speaking, in conduct, in love, in faith, in chasteness” whether they have siblings or not. (1 Timothy 4:12) Why not begin at home? Your doing so may make a world of difference​—in your siblings’ lives and in your life as well!

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 18]

The way you treat your parents can affect how your younger siblings will treat them