Young People Ask . . .

Is Suicide the Answer?

“I am tired of waking up every morning. I am lost. I am angry. My heart hurts. . . . So I think about leaving. . . . I don’t want to leave, but I feel I have to. . . . I look into the future, I only see darkness and pain.” ​—A suicide note from 21-​year-​old Peter.a

EXPERTS claim that as many as two million young people in the United States have attempted suicide. Tragically, about 5,000 a year succeed. But suicide among the young is hardly unique to the United States. In India some 30,000 youths committed suicide during 1990. In countries such as Canada, Finland, France, Israel, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Spain, Switzerland, and Thailand, suicide rates among young people have increased dramatically.

What if someone feels overwhelmed by sadness​—or feels trapped in a web of pain and can see no means of escape? Suicide may seem tempting, but in reality it is nothing more than a tragic waste. In its aftermath it leaves nothing but misery and pain for friends and family. As dark as the future may appear and as large as troubles may loom, killing oneself is not the answer.

Why Some Feel This Way

The righteous man Job knew the meaning of despair. Having lost his family, his possessions, and his good health, he said: “My soul chooses suffocation, death rather than my bones.” (Job 7:15) Some young people today have felt the same way. One writer put it this way: “Stress . . . leads to pain (feelings of hurt and fear) [which] leads to defense (attempts to escape pain).” Suicide is thus a misguided attempt to escape seemingly unbearable pain.

What causes such pain? It can be triggered by an event, such as a furious argument with one’s parents, boyfriend, or girlfriend. After breaking up with his girlfriend, 16-​year-​old Brad fell into despair. He never talked about his feelings, though. He simply ended it all by hanging himself.

Nineteen-​year-​old Sunita slid into depression when her parents discovered she was carrying on an immoral relationship with her boyfriend. “I knew that I didn’t want to continue living as I was,” she recalls. “And so I just came home one night, and I started popping the aspirins down. The next morning I was throwing up blood. It wasn’t my life but my life course I wanted to end.”

School can also be a source of intense pressure. Pushed toward becoming a doctor by his parents (doctors themselves), young Ashish developed insomnia and began withdrawing from others. Unable to meet his parents’ academic expectations, Ashish took an overdose of sleeping pills. This reminds one of Proverbs 15:13 in the Bible: “Because of the pain of the heart there is a stricken spirit.”

Family Distress

Family turmoil​—such as a parental divorce or separation, the death of a family member, or a move to a new location—​is another factor in the suicide of some youths. Brad, mentioned above, for example, lost two close friends and a relative in a car accident. Then his family began experiencing financial difficulties. Brad was simply overwhelmed. He may have felt like the psalmist who cried: “My soul has had enough of calamities . . . They have closed in upon me all at one time.”​—Psalm 88:3, 17.

Alarming numbers of youths are being subjected to stress of another kind: physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. The state of Kerala, India, has one of the highest rates of youth suicide in that land. A number of teenage girls there have tried to kill themselves because of abuse by their fathers. Child abuse of different kinds has risen to epidemic proportions worldwide, and for its innocent victims, the distress can be severe.

Other Causes of Distress

But not all suicidal feelings are caused by outside factors. Says one research report of unmarried teenagers: “Males and females who engaged in sexual intercourse and alcohol consumption were at greater risk [of suicide] than were abstainers.” Sunita’s promiscuity resulted in a pregnancy​—which she terminated by abortion. (Compare 1 Corinthians 6:18.) Afflicted with guilt, she wanted to die. Similarly, Brad had been experimenting with alcohol since age 14, going on binges quite regularly. Yes, when abused, alcohol can ‘bite just like a serpent.’​—Proverbs 23:32.

Suicidal feelings can even spring from a person’s own “disquieting thoughts.” (Psalm 94:19) Doctors say that depressive thinking can sometimes result from various biological factors. For example, Peter, mentioned at the outset, had been diagnosed as having a chemical imbalance in his brain before his suicide. Feelings of depression that are left unchecked can intensify; suicide can begin to seem like an option.

Getting Help

Suicide, though, should not be considered an option. Whether we realize it or not, all of us have what mental-​health professionals Alan L. Berman and David A. Jobes call ‘internal and external resources for coping successfully with stress and conflict.’ One resource might be family and friends. Says Proverbs 12:25: “Anxious care in the heart of a man is what will cause it to bow down, but the good word is what makes it rejoice.” Yes, a good word from an understanding person may make all the difference in the world!

So if anyone is feeling depressed or anxious, it is advisable that he not suffer alone. (Proverbs 18:1) The sufferer can pour out his heart to a person he trusts. Talking to someone helps diminish the intensity of one’s emotions, and it may give one a fresh perspective on the problems. If someone is heartbroken over losing a friend or a loved one in death, that one should talk it over with a confidant. When the pain of such losses is acknowledged and grief is felt, a person is comforted. (Ecclesiastes 7:1-3) It might help for the person to promise to contact a confidant should suicidal urges return.

True, it may be hard to trust someone. But since life itself is at stake, isn’t it worth the risk? Likely the urge to hurt oneself will pass if things are talked out. ‘With whom?’ some may ask. If one’s parents are God-​fearing, why not try ‘giving one’s heart’ to them? (Proverbs 23:26) They may understand better than many think and may be able to help. If it appears that additional assistance is needed​—such as a doctor’s exam—​they can arrange for it.

Members of the Christian congregation are another source of help. The spiritually older men in the congregation can support and help distressed ones. (Isaiah 32:1, 2; James 5:14, 15) After her suicide attempt, Sunita got help from a full-​time evangelizer (pioneer). Says Sunita: “She stuck through everything with me. If it wasn’t for her, I would have literally gone crazy.”

Coping

There are also internal resources that can be drawn upon. For example, is the suffering of guilt feelings due to some wrongdoing? (Compare Psalm 31:10.) Rather than letting such feelings build, one should work at setting matters straight. (Isaiah 1:18; compare 2 Corinthians 7:11.) A positive step would be to confess to one’s parents. Granted, they may be upset at first. But they will likely focus on giving help. We are assured too that Jehovah ‘forgives in a large way’ those who are genuinely repentant. (Isaiah 55:7) Jesus’ ransom sacrifice covers the sin of repentant ones.​—Romans 3:23, 24.

Christians also have faith, knowledge of the Scriptures, and their relationship with Jehovah God to draw from. On various occasions the psalmist David was so distressed that he said: “The enemy . . . has crushed my life to the very earth.” He did not give in to despair. He wrote: “With my voice, to Jehovah I proceeded to call for aid; with my voice, to Jehovah I began to cry for favor.” “I have meditated on all your activity; I willingly kept myself concerned with the work of your own hands.”​—Psalm 142:1; 143:3-5.

If the desire to hurt oneself becomes strong, one should call upon Jehovah in prayer. He understands the pain and wants the sufferer to live! (Psalm 56:8) He can supply the “power beyond what is normal” to help cope with the pain. (2 Corinthians 4:7) One should think too of the pain that self-​inflicted death would bring to family, to friends, and to Jehovah himself. Reflecting on such things may very well help a person to keep alive.

For though it may seem to some as if the hurt will never go away, they can be assured that there are those who have lived through the same kind of pain. They are able to tell from experience that things can and do change. Others can give help to come through such a painful time. Depressed ones should seek the needed help they deserve​—and keep on living!

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 24]

It is better to talk out painful feelings with someone