Pursuing My Purpose in Life
As told by Sylvia Luning
LIFE seemed terribly empty. It seemed so vain to be thinking only of myself all the time. I knew that there was something wrong with this way of life, but what else was there? “Vanity of vanities,” I often thought, “all is vanity.”
Then one day in 1933 an Adventist came to my door in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. What he said about the fulfillment of prophecies recorded in the Bible intrigued me, and, although I did not have money to get the books he showed me, I determined to remember at least one scripture he mentioned so that I could read it after he was gone. The one that stuck in my mind was the twenty-fourth chapter of Matthew. As soon as he left I got out my Bible and read it. It was amazing! I could clearly see that it was talking about our day, that we were living in the last days, and I felt that I ought to get out and tell people about it. But there was no further contact with these people, and the cares of life soon drove these thoughts from my mind.
Not until about six months later did someone else come to my door talking about the Bible. This time it was one of Jehovah’s witnesses, but that did not mean much to me, since I had never heard of Jehovah or of his witnesses. What was important was that she had books on the Bible that I wanted, and I took them.
A NEW LIFE
Then I sat down to read. I really do not remember having done much of anything else for the next two weeks. What I read thrilled me and filled me. It was as if I had been dying of thirst and had found water—clean and satisfying. I drank deeply and began to come to life. No longer did life seem empty. Here was something real, something I could cling to, and my heart began to sing with joy.
Six weeks later I was actually out preaching to others, and from that day to this the truth from the Bible has never ceased to be marvelous to me. It became indeed like a flaming fire in my bones, and my one purpose in life became to serve Jehovah God with my whole heart, mind and body.
It was not easy. My husband did not go along with me. He set himself to oppose my course, but the more he opposed, the stronger the fire within me became and the harder I worked in Jehovah’s service. I had always been afraid of my husband, but now I felt that I had to prove to Jehovah that I feared God more than I feared man. Many times I went out witnessing terrified at the thought of what might happen when I returned. Often the good news I preached and the message on the phonograph records we used in the service at that time did as much to reassure and strengthen my own faith as to help those to whom I preached.
The first large assembly I attended with Jehovah’s people was in New Orleans, Louisiana, in 1938. I was there when we heard New Orleans Police Chief McNamara order his men to cut the telephone connections that had been installed to enable us to hear the Bible talk “Face the Facts” and when he told them that if anyone interfered they should shoot, and shoot to kill. It was a tense moment. I was also among those who later got a recording of the talk “Face the Facts” and played it in dozens of homes.
HEARTACHE OVERCOME IN KINGDOM SERVICE
Came the year 1940 and difficult decisions. That was the year the United States Supreme Court ruled against us on the flag salute issue, resulting in intense persecution. It was also the year that I heard a judge pronounce me unfit to be the mother of my son, now twelve years old, because I was one of Jehovah’s witnesses. I had just sued my husband for divorce on the ground of adultery, to which he admitted guilt, but I was the one adjudged unfit to have the child. Stunned, and yet filled with satisfaction at the knowledge that I had stood firm in my worship of God in spite of this trial of faith, I signed up for pioneer service, so that all my efforts could be used in the service that I knew was most important.
What lay ahead often proved hard to take. It was a time of personal anguish and heartache. In the mornings I waited by the school and at night I searched the local theaters hoping to find my boy and be with him for even a few moments. It nearly killed me, and yet I had the joy of being in full-time service to Jehovah. How many years I had longed for this! My one purpose in life was to serve Jehovah with all I had. Now that I had it in my grasp would I abandon it in grief over my child? True, I could have had him back by returning to my husband, but that would have required that I forsake my worship of Jehovah. That I could not do. I had made a vow of dedication to God and nothing must move me to break it. With fierce determination I set myself to stick to my decision, come what may. I felt that I was on the verge of a physical and nervous breakdown, but by my keeping my mind centered on Jehovah and keeping busy in his service my wounds slowly began to heal.
For the next three years I pioneered in and around Baton Rouge, so it was possible to spend quite a bit of time with my boy. I continued to try to teach him the Bible truths, even though it had been forbidden. In the meantime I teamed up with Barbara Sleep and we had some wonderful times together, working hard to bring the good news to those in our assigned territory, and attending assemblies.
It was at a nationwide assembly in the summer of 1942 that Brother Knorr mentioned that some of the brothers would be trained for foreign missionary service. “How wonderful!” I thought. “But no doubt it will never apply to sisters.” Something else that Brother Knorr said at that assembly deeply impressed me. In speaking of the trial of our faith before Armageddon he made the statement that it would be an endurance test. Many, many times down through the years I have thought of that. At times when I plodded on day after day, meeting only opposition or indifference, and wondering, “Lord, how long?” those words would come into my mind and I would remember that the trial of my faith was the real thing to consider. What if the people would not listen? What if they did slam the door in my face or chase me with a broom? Wasn’t I enduring? And what else really mattered?
Of course, there were special joys that helped us to endure. One came when we found two long envelopes from the President’s Office in our mailbox. Our joy was unbounded as we read the invitations to attend Gilead School to receive special training for foreign missionary service. We laughed and cried and bowed our heads in gratitude to Jehovah for this unspeakable privilege. But wait! It meant leaving my boy behind, perhaps never to see him again. Thrilled as I was, I knew that I had another hard decision to make. I was terribly torn between my desire to go and the thought of leaving my boy, and I wondered just where my duty lay. After seeking counsel from my older brothers in the truth I made my decision—to go to Gilead.
September, 1943, saw both Barbara and me enrolled in the second class. What a marvelous experience! It was a taste of New World living. We were in a world set apart, where we could feast on the truths of God’s Word and enjoy the constant companionship of our brothers. All too soon it was over. World War II was still raging and it was difficult to gain entry to many countries. Travel too was considerably curtailed. So we received temporary assignments; a group of us went to Perth Amboy, New Jersey, and I worked with the congregation there for the next two years. During the summers I was able to spend several weeks in Louisiana with my boy.
ON TO PANAMA
December 27, 1945, was another big day. It was then that we arrived at our new assignment, in Panama. We were assigned to Colon, a city of about 50,000 people located at the mouth of the Panama Canal on the Atlantic side of the Isthmus. With the help of one of our native brothers we found a suitable home, furniture, food and other things necessary to getting properly settled. We were delighted with our assignment and looked forward to our work among the people. Their homes, their foods, their way of life, all became subjects of intense interest to us.
The little congregation there had fifteen publishers when we arrived. We worked hard, averaging around twenty-two studies a month, and soon the congregation began to grow. It had a very happy family spirit about it. We dearly loved our brothers and wanted to help them in every way possible, and they felt the same way about us.
Our Spanish was very limited, but the Spanish-speaking people we met in our door-to-door work were very helpful. Many of them studied with us just to listen to us try to speak their language and to help us. Some of them understood English, but they never let us know it, and it was not until years later that we realized it. We appreciated their making us talk their language; it helped us to learn it.
In November, 1947, I was transferred to Panama City to help in the Society’s branch office.
Up to this time I had grieved quite a lot over my boy. He had written very seldom during the two years since I had seen him and my heart often ached because of him; but now I began to realize that Jehovah was giving me many “sons,” as He had promised to do, and not only sons, but daughters and fathers and mothers and houses. (Mark 10:29, 30) These became as dear to me as my own son. I dearly loved my work and my assignment. The thought of leaving it never entered my mind.
In Panama City I was assigned to work with the English congregation, and I found a number of brothers and sisters new in the truth who were asking for help. How happy I was that I could help them, and how eagerly they accepted suggestions and put them into practice! For ten years I was with that congregation. I saw it grow until it divided and subdivided, and now there are ten congregations in the territory it once served.
REWARDS OF FAITHFULNESS
What a thrill it has been to watch the brothers, many of whom I found and studied with, grow to maturity and take their place in the New World society, some as congregation servants, others as pioneers or special pioneers! What joy it brings to see them become capable servants, taking over duties I once cared for, handling the details of an assembly organization, giving public talks and bringing new ones to the organization! Can you imagine the joy it brings to hear a blind man you found sitting hopelessly behind his house express over and over again his gratitude for the truth you patiently taught him and which he now zealously preaches to others, telling them that he used to be able to see but was blind and now is blind but can see? These are the things that make you glad you answered the call for pioneers years ago, the things that make you know you made a good decision when you decided to leave behind other interests and put your service to God first.
In 1950 I returned to the United States to visit my mother and my son, who was now married, and to attend the big 1950 assembly in New York.
Two years later my health took a turn for the worse and I had to undergo an operation. For a whole year I was away from my foreign assignment, but during that year, which I spent with my mother, I had the joy of seeing her and a niece embrace the truth as a result of my efforts. In 1953 my mother attended the New World Society Assembly with me, after which I returned to Panama, grateful that I was able to continue pursuing my purpose in life.
I took up work where I had left off in an isolated community, and in 1955 I helped to organize a small congregation in it. The next year brought joy to me when I married one of my fellow missionaries who had come to Panama in 1951 to work in the branch office, and sorrow when I received news of the death of my beloved mother.
Then came 1958 and the wonderful Divine Will International Assembly. Of course, we were there enjoying it to the full. After the assembly we had a lovely vacation visiting friends and family, and then back to Panama and a delightful surprise—circuit work! My husband was assigned to serve the English circuit, the one that I had helped to build up. I had been in Panama now for nearly thirteen years, and the brothers I had been associated with and many I had helped to gain a knowledge of the truth live here and there in this circuit. Some of them I had not seen for years, so it brought me great joy to be able to visit them, to see how they were progressing and to give what help and encouragement I could as the wife of a circuit servant. We had wonderful experiences during the year we were on this assignment.
At present my husband is serving as congregation servant in a small congregation in the Canal Zone where the need is especially great for mature brothers who speak English. Besides this he works in the branch office, while I do missionary work in the congregation’s territory and have a very interesting time doing it. Take it from me: A missionary’s life is not dull!
Surely the one who sticks to his assignment in Jehovah’s organization is a most blessed creature. True, the heartaches may be there, as in my case and that of many others who have left loved ones behind, but, oh, the deep and satisfying joys that have been there too! The rich spiritual blessings and privileges of service! I have come to realize that my happiness does not depend on the doing of my own will but on doing the divine will in the place that Jehovah has assigned me.
Now the years are beginning to take their toll in waning strength and aching joints, but my purpose in life has not yet been pursued to the finish. I look forward to full-time service to Jehovah right through the battle of Armageddon, sharing thereafter in cleaning up the earth and making it a paradise. I want to be here, still sticking to my assignment, when children are brought forth in righteousness and the dead are welcomed back from the graves, when the final test by Satan comes, and when, with all aches and pains gone, it will be possible to stand before Jehovah in human perfection along with a great crowd of others, to receive from His hand the prize—justification to life!
Now, why don’t you become a pioneer?