Enjoying Real Happiness in Family Life
Is it possible for you?
DO YOU want to attain true happiness in family life? Then would it not be wise to look to the One who created man and woman and who formed the first human family?
God’s Word the Bible sets forth guiding principles for handling both the major problems and the minor ones that arise in every feature of family living.
Consider, then, some of the Bible counsel that provides a basis for family happiness. And it offers improvement and happiness now.
The Bible indicates that when God created the first man and woman he established the basis for happiness in family life by saying: “That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.”—Gen. 2:24.
So, husband and wife are not to be competitors. Nor are they to be simply acquaintances having the same home. No, they are to be “one flesh.” This means they should cultivate deep love for each other, and, as Jesus Christ stated, they are to stick together.—Matt. 19:4-6.
THEIR RESPECTIVE POSITIONS
One of the main reasons why many husbands and wives are not sticking together and are not finding happiness is failure to appreciate their respective positions.
The Creator of marriage and of the family should know best how a family should function to attain genuine happiness. So, what does the Bible say about the respective positions of husbands and wives?
God’s Word assigns headship to the husband. But the Bible also shows that the wife shares a privileged standing with him before God. Setting out the basic formula for marital happiness, the Bible says:
“Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord. . . . husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies . . . for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, . . . on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.”—Eph. 5:22-33.
The husband, then, is to take the lead in the home, shouldering the responsibility for making final decisions. But he is not to be a harsh head of his household. He is to love his wife, not being overly demanding of her. The wife, on the other hand, is to have “deep respect for her husband.” How many problems can be overcome by the husband’s manifesting affection and the wife’s showing respect!
Because many have turned away from these divine principles, their marriages are falling apart. But when these and other Bible principles are followed, married people are able to stick together in happiness. This is no mere theory. It is happening in thousands of families all over the world. Families that are studying the Bible with Jehovah’s witnesses are learning to apply its principles in their lives. Here is an example:
A Witness started a Bible study with a woman who explained that her marriage was through. The couple had decided to separate and go their own way. Encouragement was given by the Witness to try to save the marriage by applying Bible principles. The husband did not believe in God, but he was very impressed to see how the Bible answered many questions. A Bible study was started with the entire family, including three children. Within the first month the husband became fully convinced that Jehovah God lives. In a short time the marriage began to improve, and the couple decided to stick together, as Jesus said, and to preserve their family life. Now they are very happy.
KEEPING THE MARRIAGE BED UNDEFILED
Many today are rejecting the Bible’s moral standards. But this has not brought happiness. Which makes more sense—a few minutes of illicit sexual excitement, or having a clean conscience with self-respect year in and year out? The Bible counsel is:
“For as a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping . . . But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood . . . do not get near to the entrance of her house, that you may not give to others your dignity, . . . [nor] have to groan in your future when your flesh and your organism come to an end. . . . rejoice with the wife of your youth.”—Prov. 5:3-11, 18.
Sex interests outside the marriage bond undermine the security and happiness of the home. But those who live by the Bible have their happiness protected. Says God’s Word: “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” (Heb. 13:4) So, for real family happiness marriage partners must limit their sex interests to their own legal marriage mates.—Prov. 5:15-21.
ECONOMIC PROBLEMS
Economic problems are on the increase today, with so many families living beyond their means. But the Bible’s counsel helps to protect the family from overspending and overemphasizing material things, with resultant stresses. For example, Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, said: “Having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things. . . . For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things, and by reaching out for this love some have been led astray from the faith and have stabbed themselves all over with many pains.”—1 Tim. 6:8-10.
Jesus Christ himself counseled to ‘seek first’ God’s kingdom. He said that then “all these other things,” your material needs, “will be added to you.”—Matt. 6:31-33.
Applying these as well as the other Bible principles mentioned has saved many a marriage. For example, a family with three children were spending beyond their means. Their financial situation was a cause of stress. Further, the enticements of this world’s “free morals” brought their marriage to the point of ruin. The husband stated:
“About one year ago we were visited by Jehovah’s witnesses. My wife responded because they were able to answer several of her questions, and she was offered a Bible study. I agreed to take part in the study to strengthen my wife’s faith and to see if we could in this way save our marriage.”
What was the result? He continues:
“We are now very happy that we accepted the offer of a Bible study. It opened our eyes to see the true values in life. We now have a harmonious marriage and we are happy to have the association of our Christian brothers. We are grateful to Jehovah.”
PARENTAL SUPERVISION OF CHILDREN
Much of the unhappiness in family life is due to the difficulties that youthful members of the family get themselves into. But why? Along with the rise of delinquency, we see parental permissiveness. But the Bible warns that a child “let on the loose” causes shame, that “foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him.”—Prov. 29:15; 22:15.
But will just strictness and chastisement correct matters? No, and so parents are counseled: “You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.” (Col. 3:21) By developing a blend of firmness and affection, parents can enjoy the respect and love of their children.
When both parents apply these Bible principles, there is great benefit to the family. But suppose one of the marriage mates is not a believer in God’s Word? Well, even if just one mate, the believer, applies Bible principles, the results can be most beneficial. A man who is not a Witness writes:
“My wife has been one of Jehovah’s witnesses since 1952, and we have four children. I would like to say it has been a great advantage for the whole family that my wife has been a Witness. The right inclinations of the children to honest, moral uprightness and their mental balance are in no small way due to the good influence of my wife’s religion.”
ASSOCIATE WITH HAPPY PEOPLE
For all the family to have true happiness, its members need to follow the Bible counsel to associate with those who love God and his Word: “Pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call upon the Lord out of a clean heart.” (2 Tim. 2:22; Heb. 10:24, 25) Since those who do this serve “the happy God,” Jehovah, they are happy people. (1 Tim. 1:11) The result of thus associating with God’s happy people is evident in the following experience of a young man who moved to Copenhagen to enjoy the pleasures of life. He writes:
“I began to come together with the ‘intellectuals’ and the ‘God is dead’ groups. I went into a conscientious-objector camp and lived with drug addicts and students. My hair and beard grew long, as I tried to live according to the examples of Marx and Engels. Then I got bad nerves and went to a mental hospital. The nights were unendurable. One of the patients was bothered by demons, and he said the voices were filled with lies and forced him to do unspeakable things. I began to realize that if there really were wicked spirits, there must also be a true, loving God.
“The next day I told my psychiatrist that when I got out I would study the Bible with Jehovah’s witnesses. In August 1969 I attended the convention of Jehovah’s witnesses in Copenhagen. The happiness of these people gave me a real push in the right direction. I accepted a home Bible study. The past five months have been the happiest time of my life.”
How true it is as the Bible psalmist stated: “Happy is the people whose God is Jehovah!” (Ps. 144:15) This involves learning about God through his Word, the Bible, and coming together with his happy people.
Jehovah’s witnesses are anxious to help you to gain greater happiness through a study of the Bible. Why not accept their offer of a free home Bible study the next time they call at your home? Or you may write to the publishers of this magazine, and a Witness will be sent to study with you free of charge. Also you can attend meetings at one of the Kingdom Halls, and you will see happy people, happy families. That happiness can be yours.