Joyful, Despite My Handicap
As told by Lee Doo-yong
It was a cold wintry day in February 1951 when retreating fellow soldiers left me for dead in a foxhole. I was severely wounded in both legs. With only snow to eat, by the third day the pains from hunger were greater than the pains from my wounds. On the seventh day enemy soldiers found me, only to leave me to die. During this time I prayed to “God,” whoever he might be. If he would help me now, I promised I would serve him.
THE war that burst forth in June 1950 changed the lives of all of us on the Korean peninsula. I was inducted into the military forces of South Korea later that year, and within four months I lay terribly wounded in a foxhole. This gave me time to think, since that was all there was to do.
I was brought up in the Buddhist religion but it never instilled any real hope in me. In addition, my parents believed in many teachings of Confucius, ancestor worship being a big thing in our family life. But now, when I needed help, I looked elsewhere, praying to “God,” called Ha-nanim in Korean.
Finally, Red Chinese soldiers captured me and took me to an abandoned house where a few of my fellow soldiers were being held. Not wanting to be taken by the North Korean forces, I escaped, dragging myself along the ground. But I was captured again by the Red Chinese, who soon abandoned me as not alive enough to be taken as a prisoner of war.
By now about 50 days had passed since I had been wounded. I fell into a deep sleep. Sometime later, because of the seesaw nature of the war, friendly South Korean soldiers found me. The field hospital in Wonju, Korea, where I was taken, was not equipped to take care of the gangrene that had set in, so I was moved to the hospital in Pusan. My left leg was amputated at the upper thigh, and my right leg was cut off below the knee. I was depressed and discouraged, feeling that I had no reason to live.
HOPE IN RELIGION?
During my hospitalization an army chaplain visited me. Since I had already prayed to God, I wondered now whether this “Christian” religion would bring substance and joy to my life. But any hope I had soon faded.
The chaplain was a nice person. He told me that I had served my country well, and would consequently go to heaven. Yet I could not relate to that. My attendance at their services in no way enhanced my knowledge of God or gave me reason to live. In fact, it convinced me that the “Christian” belief in eternal torment not only was unreasonable, but could not be from the true God.
ATTEMPTS AT REHABILITATION
My two years in the hospital were painful, bitter and empty. The first time the nurses helped me to walk with my new artificial limbs, an airplane flew over and, as I looked up at it, I fell over backward. This completely unnerved and frustrated me. The nurses worked hard to encourage me, even suggesting that in time I would be able to dance with my new legs. But I found no comfort in what they said.
Shortly thereafter the nurse caught me taking 15 tranquilizer tablets that I had secretly saved up in an attempt to take my life. She made me vomit them up. I lived through three such suicide attempts.
In the spring of 1953, at age 23, I was discharged with a very small pension. My life had no direction to it. Both my parents were killed in the war, and the only place I had to go was to my older brother’s. In the Orient, the older brother becomes the head of the house in such situations, and all the younger brothers and sisters become subject to him, especially in family matters. I wanted freedom from this tradition and an independent life. I thought that having a wife would help me to attain this.
But here in Korea one does not just go to another and propose marriage. There must be a go-between, one who arranges the marriage, either a relative or a close friend. My friend’s wife took on this obligation and found a young girl who had a will to help. Marriage brought me a measure of independence, but life still proved to be difficult. Together, my wife and I passed through many hardships, including economic problems.
TOUCHED BY RELIGION PERMANENTLY
It was a very hot day in August 1955 when the question was presented to me: Can You Live Forever in Happiness on Earth? One of Jehovah’s Witnesses called at my door and offered a booklet with that title. The question was a good one for me. That Witness was to become a great influence in my life.
On one of his first return visits I was very much relieved to hear him explain from the Bible that there is no burning hell. In time I began to see that there is a God of love. This, along with the prospect of enjoying a happy life on earth forever, opened up to me something that I could relate to. (Ps. 37:29) And in my condition, with my lower limbs missing, you can imagine how happy I was when prophecies were read to me from the Bible about the lame ones leaping as animals do. This indeed was real hope and encouragement!—Isa. 35:6.
After the third or fourth visit of the Witness I found myself praying to Jehovah and expressing appreciation for what I was getting to know. I was so thrilled by what I was learning from the Bible that some nights I lost sleep just thinking about these things. Now, for the first time, I had a real reason to live. It was not just to get life, but to use my life to serve our loving Creator, Jehovah God.
I was so happy about what was happening that my enthusiasm bubbled over to fellow handicapped veterans with whom I was in business. Three of them soon joined in our weekly Bible study.
CONGREGATION ASSOCIATION
Attending my first meeting at the Kingdom Hall was not easy for me. I was very sensitive about my condition, crutches and all, and I disliked having people show me pity. So I usually avoided gatherings. The only excuse I gave for not going to the Kingdom Hall was that I could not climb the two flights of stairs, even though that was not the real problem.
Then, within a few weeks of his first visit, the Witness brought with him an American missionary who regularly visited congregations in Korea. He also encouraged me to attend meetings at the Kingdom Hall, pointing out the need and the benefits. I was deeply impressed to have him visit my humble place and speak my language, which I knew was difficult for him. So it was hard to say No to his invitation.
When the day came, I was there at the Kingdom Hall. What a profound effect it had on me! Never had I experienced a gathering of such people, eager to learn more about God’s purposes and to serve Him. This was so different from religious gatherings either in Buddhist temples or in any church I had attended. From that time on regular attendance at the Kingdom Hall was part of my life. The hour and twenty minutes it took me to walk the two and a half miles (4 km) was well worth the effort.
OTHER CHANGES AND DEDICATION
After I was wounded in the war, excessive drinking and smoking had become very important in my life. They were the only things at the time that seemed to ease the pain, both mental and physical. But after about three months of Bible study and association with the Witnesses, who neither use tobacco nor get drunk, I saw the need to give up these unclean habits. My physical and mental condition no longer required these props. Bible truth was treating not the symptoms of my problems, but the causes of them. As a result, the quality of my life became richer.
According to Korean custom, the head of the family takes the lead in ancestor worship, and all the younger brothers and their wives are expected to follow his lead. The occasions for ancestor worship arise a number of times each year. After realizing that God’s Word shows the dead to be unconscious and unable to help or hinder us, I refused to share in this false worship. (Eccl. 9:5, 10) This came as a shock to my older brother. Because I would not participate, his opposition grew against my wife. It was extremely difficult for her to stand up against this opposition and to become a Witness.
About nine months after my first contact with the Witnesses, a national assembly was held in Seoul. For the first time a member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses was present, N. H. Knorr. I was thrilled by his encouraging Scriptural talks. This large assembly reinforced my faith as I saw the organization and orderliness of the people and their care for one another. On this occasion, in April 1956, I was baptized in symbol of my dedication to serve Jehovah God, along with over 300 other assembly delegates.
TRUSTING IN JEHOVAH
My first partners in business were fellow veterans, one of whom was baptized with me. However, other partners, because I devoted so much time to Christian meetings, Bible study and preaching to others, took advantage of me. They eventually took all my customers and set up their own business. To pay off our debts, I had to sell the small house I had, and for a while our family lived in a temporary shelter under a tarpaulin roof.—Matt. 6:33.
Being a veteran, well-paying jobs were available to me. However, taking these jobs would have required my violating my Christian conscience, because the jobs were connected with activity described in the Bible as unacceptable for God’s servants.—Isa. 2:4.
Yet help came from an unexpected source when a director of a hospital for the handicapped approached me and asked if I would make knitted items for use in his hospital. Although I had no experience in this, I trusted in Jehovah and looked at my secular work as his means of providing for our necessities. For the past five years, with my son’s help, we have been able to make a reasonably comfortable living without interrupting our responsibilities and privileges in the Christian congregation.
JOINED BY MY FAMILY IN TRUE WORSHIP
I regularly took my children to the Kingdom Hall, and remember some trying times when the young ones were mischievous while I was on the platform. Even though my wife was opposed to any physical discipline, I felt that there was a time and place for it. On the way home from the meetings I took advantage of a vacant lot to sit down and reason with them on why they should behave. Sometimes, when they knew they were going to get spanked, they took off and ran faster than my crutches could carry me and escaped this aspect of their training. Now we all look back and laugh about it, but at the time I surely envied parents who had whole bodies.
After my wife began studying the Bible, and became spiritually strong enough to stand up to my older brother in matters of ancestor worship, she was baptized in 1969. This added to the richness of our family life, and training the children was no longer the problem it had been. We were happy when our first daughter married a ministerial servant in another congregation.
We have had a goal in training our children. This has been to cultivate in their hearts a desire to serve Jehovah. We have held before them as highly desirable the full-time preaching and teaching activity. And all our children have tasted this grand service. Since 1974 our second daughter, Mee-hee, has been in this full-time service, which has helped our family spiritually.
CONGREGATIONAL ACTIVITY
About four years after my baptism a congregation was formed near our house, and I was appointed the congregation servant (presiding overseer). We have since formed three other congregations from that one. I have especially been interested in giving attention to unbelieving husbands of our Christian sisters, thus far being able to help over 30 of them to become Witnesses. These later admitted that, because of my physical condition, they could not refuse to talk to me. Others, who have not accepted the truth, have at least been more understanding toward their Christian wives, who have appreciated this.
One husband was a believer in the teachings of Confucius and opposed his wife very much, mainly because he thought a woman’s place was in the home and that she should be there all the time. This, of course, meant that she would be unable to attend Christian meetings or share in preaching to others outside the home. I called on him on several occasions, getting friendly with him. Finally, at his wife’s persuasion, he consented to attending a session of one of our assemblies. He was so impressed with the program and people there that on his way home he visited me and asked for a Bible study. He is now an elder in the Christian congregation.
It has been almost a quarter of a century since I began learning the Bible truths that have given such meaning and hope to my life. I have never lost my confidence in the precious promises of God, and this is what has given me such joy in living, despite my handicap.
[Picture of Lee Doo-yong on page 9]