Do You Dramatize Vexations?

“I HATE you!” Married couples have been known to shout such words at each other repeatedly. Time and again, irate mothers have been heard to scream harsh threats at their children.

What is the problem? Such persons are yielding to the weakness of dramatizing their vexations or frustrations. Because of hurt feelings or a sense of futility or helplessness, sinful humans sometimes exaggerate to the extreme and say things they really do not mean.

A Case in Point

Dramatizing of vexations is nothing new. This is illustrated in the case of the prophet Jonah. At first too fearful to deliver God’s warning message to the Ninevites, Jonah learned his lesson by being swallowed by a great fish and then thrown out on dry land. Thereafter he fearlessly delivered God’s message, warning Nineveh’s inhabitants of impending destruction within 40 days. But the Ninevites responded to Jonah’s preaching by repenting, from the king down to the lowliest of his subjects. When Jehovah saw this he did not destroy them.​—Jonah 1:1-17; 2:10; 3:1-10.

This was just too much for Jonah because he felt he had been made to appear as a false prophet! So he said: “O Jehovah, take away, please, my soul from me, for my dying is better than my being alive.” Later, when a bottle-gourd plant that had been giving him shade suddenly died, Jonah again said to Jehovah: “My dying off is better than my being alive.” Yes, the prophet dramatized his vexations to the point of saying he preferred death to life. However, Jehovah set him straight as to why mercy had been shown to the Ninevites.​—Jonah 4:1-11.

Why We May Dramatize Vexations

Today, exaggerated statements are often made to “let off steam,” as it were. They may be made without one’s thinking, or without one’s even believing they are true. Or they may be made to express ill will or to punish another person. Regardless of the motive, yielding to this tendency makes matters worse. It likely will widen the gap between the two having differences, making reconciliation and a harmonious relationship more difficult. One reason for this may well be that, while the individual making the extreme statement actually does not believe or mean it, the victim of the remark may feel that the person really meant what he said. How upsetting that can be!

Also, pride may be at the bottom of thoughtless exaggeration. An injured person may feel that something the other individual did or said showed a lack of respect, understanding or consideration. But regardless of factors prompting us to dramatize vexations, what can be done to overcome this tendency?

Aids in Overcoming the Tendency

Humility, or lowliness of mind, will help. If we really consider others to be better than we are, as the Bible counsels, this attitude will help keep us from becoming dramatic and making exaggerated statements when vexed, frustrated, irritated or sorely tried.​—Philippians 2:1-4.

Self-control also is a great help in this regard. It helps us to be patient when being tried​—in other words, to be long-suffering. By precept and example, God’s Word repeatedly warns us against a lack of self-control. For instance, it states: “He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man, and he that is controlling his spirit than the one capturing a city.” (Proverbs 16:32) True, it is not the line of least resistance to exercise self-control under adverse conditions, but learning to do so is very rewarding.

Since we learn so well from examples, consider that furnished by Jehovah God himself. Despite provocation, he could say: “I have kept quiet for a long time. I continued silent. I kept exercising self-control.” (Isaiah 42:13, 14) If we are unreservedly dedicated to Jehovah, we should desire to imitate him in exercising self-control. This quality surely will help us to avoid dramatizing vexations.

Unselfish love especially will help us to keep from getting dramatic in trying situations. Love, a fruit of God’s spirit, gives us the insight needed to appreciate why some people act or talk in a way that tries us at times. Love makes allowances for the weaknesses of others. Yes, “love is long-suffering and kind. . . . [It] does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. . . . It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love does all of this and thus helps us not to dramatize vexing matters.​—1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Prayer also will help. For instance, we can properly petition our heavenly Father for his holy spirit. (Luke 11:13) We can confidently pray for his aid in cultivating and displaying the spirit’s fruitage of self-control, love, peace, long-suffering, mildness, and so forth. (Galatians 5:22, 23) Jehovah answers such humble prayers, giving his spirit to those loving him. Thus we will receive added help in overcoming any tendency to dramatize vexations.

As long as all of us are imperfect, we are going to try others or be tried by them. But humility, self-control, unselfish love and especially prayer for God’s assistance will help us to put up with one another in spite of weaknesses or shortcomings. No longer will we be as inclined to dramatize vexations.