Coping With Homesickness in God’s Service
JESUS CHRIST commanded his followers: “Go . . . and make disciples of people of all the nations.” (Matthew 28:19) For many Christians, carrying out that commission has meant accepting difficult circumstances far from home. Traveling overseers, their wives, and others leave many things behind for the sake of God’s service. Homesickness can be a real challenge for all of these Witnesses of Jehovah.
Homesickness occurs when memories carry your thoughts back to the security and love of a pleasant past. This can cause such intense emotion that you feel depressed and unable to carry on. In fact, after selling their belongings and making an expensive trip to a foreign land, some have abandoned their plans and returned home. Homesickness overpowered them.
Such attacks on the emotions are usually frequent after first moving, but with some they continue for a lifetime. After being away for more than 20 years, Jacob was ‘yearning intensely for the house of his father.’ (Genesis 31:30) Who can expect to suffer homesickness? What triggers it? How can a person cope with such feelings?
What Triggers the Sadness?
Homesickness can affect anyone. Amytis, a daughter of the Median king Astyages, apparently had every reason for happiness: riches, prestige, a beautiful home. Yet, she was so homesick for the mountains of Media that her husband, King Nebuchadnezzar, built the hanging gardens of Babylon in an effort to comfort her.
Homesickness can be especially trialsome when life seems more difficult than it was before a person moved. When the people of Judah became exiles, they lamented: “By the rivers of Babylon—there we sat down. We also wept when we remembered Zion. How can we sing the song of Jehovah upon foreign ground?”—Psalm 137:1, 4.
Many things may provoke the melancholy of homesickness. Terri, who had left Canada, says: “One day a family picture fell out of a book. When I picked it up, a flood of homesickness suddenly overwhelmed me, and I cried.” Chris, who moved from England to a much poorer country, admits: “Just recognizing the tune of an old song or the aroma of a familiar dish could make me yearn for the things I left behind.”—Compare Numbers 11:5.
Close family ties are often a contributing factor. Roseli, a Brazilian now living in a neighboring country, comments: “I feel down when I get bad news from home and I can’t be there to help. Sometimes it is worse when I get no news and start imagining things.” Janice moved from North America to a small town in the Amazonian tropics. She says: “I get homesick when I hear good news from home. I hear how they are having a good time together, and I wish I could be with them.”
It is not just leaving people behind that causes homesickness. Linda explains: “I would get frustrated when I didn’t know where to buy things I needed. I didn’t know the prices or how to barter. Owning a car was too expensive, and I was always getting knocked about as I struggled to board crowded public transportation. This just made me long for home.” Commenting on the cultural and economic gap, Janet remarks: “It was the poverty that upset me. I had never before seen people begging for bread, or large families all living in one room with no water. . . . Such things upset me so much that I felt I couldn’t stay there any longer.”
Coping With Your Feelings
We should not feel embarrassed about having strong emotional feelings for people we love or for the familiar surroundings of our formative years. Jehovah God gave us emotions so that we could enjoy warm personal relationships. Christian overseers of the congregation at Ephesus were emotionally mature men. But what happened when the apostle Paul’s visit with them drew to an end? Why, “quite a bit of weeping broke out among them all, and they fell upon Paul’s neck and tenderly kissed him”! (Acts 20:37) Of course, that incident did not involve homesickness. Yet, it does give us food for thought. It is normal to have feelings, but we should not let them control us. How, then, can you successfully cope with homesickness?
Learning to speak the local language is a key to feeling settled. Feelings of homesickness may be heightened when communication is hampered because you have to deal with a foreign tongue. If possible, therefore, learn to read and speak the language of the region before you move there. Otherwise, concentrate on language studies during the first few weeks after you arrive. That is when you have the strongest motivation and thus the best prospect of learning it. If you devote these weeks chiefly to language study, you will soon be enjoying conversations, and that can help to allay feelings of homesickness.
Make new friends as quickly as possible, for this will help you to feel at home. The congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses is the best place to make real friends. Take the initiative and be interested in others. Make an effort to get to know their background, their family, their problems, and their interests. Invite fellow believers to your home. In turn, you will find that others will take an interest in you.
Among God’s people, friendships can be as close as family ties. Jesus said: “Whoever does the will of God, this one is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35) Christ also assured his followers: “No one has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for my sake and for the sake of the good news who will not get a hundredfold now in this period of time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and fields, with persecutions, and in the coming system of things everlasting life.” (Mark 10:29, 30) With such a wonderful spiritual brotherhood, we are not alone, even in a new land.
Maintaining friendships with those back home can also help you to cope with homesickness. You may be surprised to find that now that you have moved, communication by letter is especially meaningful, since you will probably give considerable thought to your words. There will be exciting things to say. Janet, mentioned earlier, suggests: “Long-distance telephone calls are expensive, but sending a recorded cassette tape through the mail is relatively cheap. Talking to a machine feels strange at first. Yet, if you converse with someone with the microphone between you, it is easy and interesting.” You might also ask to receive a cassette recording in return.
Shirley, who emigrated from the United States to Latin America 25 years ago, says: “I always write about upbuilding experiences rather than problems. This encourages others to keep writing to me.” Be careful, however. Too much letter-writing can hold you back from making new friends. Del, who moved from Canada to another country, says: “Avoid staying at home and moping over the things you miss. Rather, go out and enjoy your new location.”
Get to know the new land’s customs, history, humor, and places of interest and beauty. This will help you not to dwell on negative factors. And if you intend to stay where you have moved to, it is best not to visit your homeland too soon or too often. It takes time to form new friendships and get used to new surroundings. Extended visits back home interrupt that process. Once you have put down new roots, you can enjoy going home for a visit—and then returning. In the meantime, keep busy in building up an attachment to your new home.
Keep Looking Forward
Jehovah gave us the whole earth as our home. (Psalm 115:16) With a joyful Christian spirit, life can be pleasant in any land. If you move in order to promote Kingdom interests and preach the good news in another country or elsewhere in your homeland, do so with happy anticipation. Look forward to making new friends, learning about different customs, making disciples, or doing rewarding things in God’s service.
Jehovah God is one Friend who will always be with you, no matter where you are. (Psalm 94:14; 145:14, 18) So keep close to him in prayer. (Romans 12:12) This will help you to bear in mind your purpose in life as a servant of God. Abraham and Sarah kept their purpose in mind when they left their comfortable home in the city of Ur. In obedience to Jehovah’s command, they left behind friends and relatives. (Acts 7:2-4) If they had kept remembering and longing for the place they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. But they were reaching out for a better place—ultimately life on a paradise earth under God’s heavenly Kingdom.—Hebrews 11:15, 16.
Preaching in foreign fields or where the need for Kingdom proclaimers is greater in your homeland can be quite challenging. But it is also a fruitful and most rewarding work. (John 15:8) And if negative thoughts should temporarily engulf you, they can be overcome by keeping your goal in mind and looking ahead. An unmarried missionary sister said: “When I feel sadness coming over me, I try to think about the new world and how all of mankind will be one family.” Pleasant thoughts like these can help you maintain your joy and not succumb to homesickness.
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Homesickness does not need to interfere with the Christian ministry