Is All Complaining Bad?

What annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain?—Marquis De Custine, 1790-1857.

FOR two years she had endured sexual harassment by a fellow employee. Her protests resulted in verbal abuse and the cold shoulder. The pent-up stress was affecting her health, but what could she do? Similarly, a student who had been at the top of his class was expelled because his conscience would not permit him to take part in the martial-arts drills required by the school. Both felt that they had been wronged, but should they complain? If they did, could they hope for relief or would it only make matters worse?

Complaints like these and others are common today, living as we do among imperfect people in a less-than-ideal world. Complaining runs the gamut from expressing passive displeasure, grief, pain, or resentment over some situation to a formal allegation against a party. Most people prefer to avoid complaining and confrontation; yet, must one always keep silent? What is the Bible’s view?

Bad Effects on Oneself and Others

There is no doubt that a chronic complaining spirit is damaging, and it is condemned in the Bible. A complainer will bring physical and spiritual damage to himself and vexation to those who are the subject of his complaints. Referring to a complaining wife, the Bible proverb says: “A leaking roof that drives one away in the day of a steady rain and a contentious wife are comparable.” (Proverbs 27:15) Complaining directed against Jehovah or one of his provisions is particularly culpable. When the nation of Israel complained about the miraculous manna provided during their 40-year wilderness trek, calling it “contemptible bread,” Jehovah sent poisonous serpents to punish the disrespectful complainers, and many died.—Numbers 21:5, 6.

Further, Jesus counseled his followers, not to complain about “the straw” of faults observed in our fellow humans, but to be well aware of the larger “rafter” of shortcomings that we ourselves have. (Matthew 7:1-5) In a similar vein, Paul condemned judging (a form of complaining) another as “inexcusable . . . inasmuch as you that judge practice the same things.” These cautions against complaining should move us to avoid being needlessly critical and developing a complaining spirit.—Romans 2:1.

Is All Complaining Condemned?

Should we conclude, then, that all forms of complaint are to be condemned? No, we should not. The Bible indicates that there are many injustices in the flawed world in which we live that rightly call for correction. In an illustration, Jesus made mention of an unrighteous judge who begrudgingly meted out justice to an oppressed widow so that she would not “keep coming and pummeling [him] to a finish.” (Luke 18:1-8) In some respects we too may have to persist in our complaints until wrongs are rectified.

By encouraging us to pray for God’s Kingdom to come, did not Jesus call on us to recognize the deficiencies of this present world and to ‘cry out’ to God for a remedy? (Matthew 6:10) When “the cry of complaint” about the wickedness of ancient Sodom and Gomorrah reached his ears, Jehovah sent his messengers to “see whether they [acted] altogether according to the outcry over it” and to bring about a remedy. (Genesis 18:20, 21) To the relief of those who had complained to him, Jehovah subsequently rectified the situation by destroying the two cities and their immoral inhabitants.

The Christian Congregation

Should it be different among brothers within the Christian congregation? Though imperfect men and women, Christians are earnestly endeavoring to serve God in peace and unity. Yet, situations will arise among them that give cause for a measure of complaint and that call for a remedy. In the first century, a situation arose in the congregation of anointed ones shortly after Pentecost. Many newly converted Christians remained in Jerusalem for further instruction and encouragement. There was a sharing of available food supplies. However, “a murmuring arose on the part of the Greek-speaking Jews against the Hebrew-speaking Jews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution.” Rather than condemn these complainers as troublemakers, the apostles took action to rectify the situation. Yes, just complaints made with due respect and in the proper spirit will be humbly listened to and acted upon by those who have oversight in the congregation.—Acts 6:1-6; 1 Peter 5:3.

To the Proper Authority

Did you note from the above examples that complaints should be made in the proper spirit and to the proper authority? For example, it would be pointless to complain to the police about a heavy tax burden or to a judge about one’s physical ailments. So, too, it would be inappropriate to complain about some situation either inside or outside the congregation to a person that had no authority or ability to help.

In most lands today, there are courts and other appropriate authorities that can be appealed to in hopes of gaining a measure of relief. When the student mentioned in the beginning of the article took his complaint to court, the judges ruled in his favor, and he was reinstated with an apology from the school. Similarly, the female worker who was sexually harassed found relief through a working-women’s union. She received an apology from the school board. Her employers took steps to stop sexual harassment.

It should not be expected, however, that all complaints will have the same outcome. Wise King Solomon realistically observed: “That which is made crooked cannot be made straight.” (Ecclesiastes 1:15) We do well to recognize that some matters will simply have to wait for God to rectify in his own due time.

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Elders listen to and act upon just complaints