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  • Assist Divorced Fellow Believers—How?

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  • Assist Divorced Fellow Believers—How?
  • The Watchtower Announcing Jehovah’s Kingdom (Simplified)—2014
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The Watchtower Announcing Jehovah’s Kingdom (Simplified)—2014
ws14 6/15 pp. 27-28

Assist Divorced Fellow Believers​—How?

A woman comforting a divorced Christian sister

You probably know someone who is divorced. That is because divorce is very common. When people get divorced, they have to cope with painful emotions. They may feel anger, regret, despair, and shame. One brother said: “When we divorced, my ex-wife prevented me from seeing my two little girls. That led me to feel that no one cared for me anymore and even that Jehovah must have abandoned me. I lost my desire to live. In time, I realized how wrong my thinking had been.”

After a divorce, some may also feel that the brothers and sisters in the congregation no longer care about them or do not understand their feelings. They may think that others are judging or avoiding them. But later, as divorced ones adjust to their circumstances, they may realize that others actually showed them much love and understanding.

FEELINGS OF LONELINESS AND REJECTION

Even though we may try our best to help a divorced brother or sister, he or she may still feel lonely and rejected at times. One sister says that even eight years after her divorce, she sometimes still feels unloved and sad. At such times, she just wants to be alone to cry.

It is important that those who are divorced do not make a habit of isolating themselves. (Proverbs 18:1) At the same time, they need to be careful not to make a habit of seeking comfort from someone of the opposite sex. Doing this could lead to improper romantic feelings.

When our divorced brothers and sisters feel lonely, rejected, and anxious about the future, we want to try to understand their feelings and do what we can to assist them, in imitation of Jehovah. (Psalm 55:22; 1 Peter 5:6, 7) We can be sure that they will appreciate the help we give them as true friends.​—Proverbs 17:17; 18:24.

A Balanced View of Divorce

As Jehovah’s servants, we are always ready to assist righteous ones who are “crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:15, 18; Isaiah 41:10) At the same time, we remember how Jehovah feels about divorce. He says: “I hate divorce.” (Malachi 2:16) So we also take the matter seriously. The only Scriptural reason for divorce is sexual immorality. (Genesis 2:22-24; Matthew 19:4-6, 9) It would be a very serious mistake even to think of getting an unscriptural divorce, perhaps while planning to marry someone else.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP?

Show interest. (Philippians 2:4)

Look for practical ways you can help. For a time, your divorced brother or sister may need help even with little things. Perhaps you could offer a ride to an appointment or make a home repair. The things you do for such ones can help them cope successfully with their changed situation.

A couple showing personal interest to a divorced Christian sister

Be a good listener. (Proverbs 16:20, 23)

After a divorce, some may want to talk about what happened, and others may not. So make it clear that you care about their feelings and are willing to listen but that you do not want to pry. They may be so frustrated that when they talk they may say something that they will later regret. Reassure them that you know they are in a difficult situation and that you are ready to help.​—Proverbs 12:25; Romans 12:15.

Reassure the divorced person that Jehovah understands the situation.

Reassure him that even if he feels worthless, he is precious in Jehovah’s eyes. Each of Jehovah’s servants is unique and “worth more than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31) “Jehovah is the examiner of hearts” and is able to understand those who are divorced. He will not abandon any of his faithful servants. (Proverbs 17:3; Psalm 145:18; Hebrews 13:5) So reassure the person that God values his love for the truth and his efforts to serve Him.​—Philippians 2:29.

Encourage the divorced one to strengthen his or her relationship with God through prayer, personal study, and meditation. (James 4:8)

Though Jehovah is almighty and dwells in heaven, he promises to provide strength “to the one humble and broken in spirit.” Remind the divorced one that all of us benefit when we draw close to God through prayer and personal study.​—Isaiah 66:2.

Encourage the divorced person to stay close to the congregation.

Some may find it hard to be at the meetings. But it is at the meetings that they will find the strength and courage necessary to endure this difficult time. Our meetings are “for building up.”​—1 Corinthians 14:26; Psalm 122:1.

Offer to work together in the field ministry or to prepare together for a meeting.

Two Christian brothers working together in the field ministry

This will help the divorced Christian to feel more confident while moving on with life. One sister who has encouraged her divorced friend says: “We regularly share in the ministry together. It brings us joy when we see that we have reached the goals we set for ourselves. We sometimes study together in preparation for a meeting, and then we might make something delicious to eat.”

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