Young People Ask . . .
Who Should Be My Role Model?
“His talent as a basketball player was awesome. All my friends loved him. He was my role model, and I wanted to be like him and to have what he had.”—Ping, a young Asian.
PEOPLE who are admired and imitated are often called role models. Author Linda Nielsen observed: “Youngsters imitate people with whom they can identify and who are receiving attention or rewards that they covet.” Youths, therefore, tend to admire peers who are popular or attractive. But many youths are especially drawn to movie stars, musicians, and athletes as role models.
Of course, the public image of most celebrities is often little more than an elaborate fiction, a carefully orchestrated scheme designed to hide flaws, to invite adulation and, above all, to sell! Ping, quoted earlier, admits: “I bought all my basketball hero’s videos and wore his brand of clothes and shoes.” Some youths dress like their TV or sports idols, wear their hair like their idols, and even walk and talk like their idols.
Role Models—Good and Bad
‘But what’s the harm in admiring someone?’ you ask. That depends upon whom you admire. The Bible says: “He that is walking with wise persons will become wise, but he that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly.” (Proverbs 13:20) The Bible does not encourage us to be followers of humans. (Matthew 23:10) But it does tell us to be “imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” (Hebrews 6:12) The writer of those words, the apostle Paul, set a fine example for early Christians. Thus, he could say: “Become imitators of me, even as I am of Christ.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
A young man named Timothy did just that. He developed a close friendship with Paul on their missionary journeys together. (Acts 16:1-4) Paul came to think of Timothy as his “beloved and faithful child in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 4:17) With Paul’s help, Timothy became an outstanding Christian man.—Philippians 2:19-23.
What can happen, though, if you choose the wrong role model? A young man named Richard relates: “When I was 15 years old, a schoolmate named Mario became my best friend. My parents were Christians, and they tried to help me spiritually. But Mario had all the fun—discos, parties, motorbikes, and stuff like that. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted. Not me. So when I was 16, I told my parents that I wanted to stop being a Christian, and I did.”
Are there similar dangers in viewing celebrities and sports heroes as role models? Yes, there are. Now, there’s nothing wrong with admiring the skill of an athlete, an actor, or a musician. But ask yourself, ‘What kind of example do these people set in their personal lives?’ Are not many sports heroes, musicians, and other performers known for their indulgence in sexual immorality, drugs, and alcohol? Is it not also true that many live unhappy, unfulfilling lives, in spite of their money and fame? When you look at things from this point of view, what good could possibly come from imitating such ones?
True, copying a celebrity’s hairstyle, clothes, or speech may seem like a little thing. But it can be the first step in allowing the world to “squeeze you into its own mould.” (Romans 12:2, Phillips) That mold may seem pleasant at first. But if you fully succumb to its influence, it can mold you in ways that are sure to bring you into conflict with God. “Friendship with the world is enmity with God,” says the Bible at James 4:4.
How a Good Role Model Can Help You
Imitating someone who sets a good example, however, can have a positive impact on your life! Among fellow Christians, you can find many who are “an example . . . in speaking, in conduct, in love, in faith, in chasteness.” (1 Timothy 4:12) True, you have to exercise caution in choosing associates, even in the Christian congregation. (2 Timothy 2:20, 21) But usually it’s not hard to figure out who in the congregation are truly “walking in the truth.” (2 John 4) The principle at Hebrews 13:7 states: “As you contemplate how their conduct turns out imitate their faith.” For most of your peers, how their conduct will turn out remains to be seen. But there are older ones in the congregation who have proved their faithfulness, and it’s wise to get to know them.
‘Get to know older ones?’ you may ask. Granted, this may not sound too appealing at first. But recall the relationship Timothy had with his older friend the apostle Paul. Paul saw Timothy’s potential and encouraged him to “stir up like a fire the gift of God” in him. (2 Timothy 1:6) Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have someone to help and encourage you, someone urging you to nurture your God-given gifts?
A youth named Bryan found this to be so. He was battling feelings of inferiority when he became acquainted with an older, single ministerial servant in the congregation. Says Bryan: “I admire his loving concern for others, including me; his zeal for the ministry; and his fine talks.” Bryan is already benefiting from the personal attention he has received from this older Christian. He frankly admits: “It has helped me change from being what I was before—a shy and dead personality.”
Parents as Role Models
The book Adolescence—Generation Under Pressure says that parents are “the single most important external influence in aiding or hindering the average adolescent in arriving at a satisfactory identity.” Without that clear sense of direction and identity, the book adds, young people “will become like a rudderless ship, changing course with each passing wave.”
This advice reflects what the disciple James wrote over 1,900 years ago, as recorded at James 1:6: “Let him keep on asking in faith, not doubting at all, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven by the wind and blown about.” You probably know some youths who are just like that. They tend to live for today’s thrills, with no thought of tomorrow.
Are you blessed with having God-fearing parents who set a good example in the congregation? If so, are you yielding to their influence? Or are you fighting them every step of the way? True, your parents are not perfect. But do not blind yourself to their good qualities—qualities you will do well to imitate. “I have great admiration for my parents,” writes a young Christian named Jarrod. “Their enduring zeal in the ministry, the way they have faced economic hardships, and the encouragement they gave me to share in the full-time ministry, all had a good effect on me. My parents have always been my role models.”
The Best Role Model
When the Gallup survey organization asked some youths in the United States who they thought was the greatest person in history, most chose American political figures. Only 6 percent chose Jesus Christ. However, the Bible tells us that Jesus Christ left a perfect “model for [us] to follow his steps closely.” (1 Peter 2:21; Hebrews 12:3) He encourages his disciples to learn from him. (Matthew 11:28, 29) But just how do you go about doing that?
Get thoroughly acquainted with the life of Jesus. Try reading the Gospel accounts all the way through, along with the book The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.a Observe the way Jesus taught, the compassionate way he dealt with people, and the courage he showed when under pressure. You will find that Jesus is the very best role model you could possibly follow.
The more you become familiar with the perfect role model, the less you will be drawn to unwholesome peers or celebrities. Do you recall Ping and his admiration for a sports hero? Ping still enjoys a game of basketball from time to time, but he has come to see that it is foolish to model himself after celebrities.
And what about Richard? His choice of role model led to his abandoning the Christian faith. However, Richard came to know a young man in his 20’s, named Simon, who was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. “Simon befriended me,” says Richard, “and helped me see that one can enjoy life without compromising Bible principles. I quickly developed a respect for Simon, and his example played a large role in my coming back to the congregation and dedicating my life to Jehovah. I’m much happier now, and my life has real meaning.”
Yes, your choice of role models really matters!
[Footnote]
a Published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.
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Associating with reputable older ones can help you