Husband of one wife. If a married man, he must have only one living wife, hence not be a polygamist as were many non-Christian men in the first century.​—1 Tim. 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6.

Presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having children in subjection. Neither ministerial servants nor elders should be mere lads but should be men old enough to have children. If married, the man should earn respect as a good husband and father, one presiding according to Bible principles. (1 Tim. 3:4, 5, 12; Titus 1:6) Does this require that he have absolute success with every family member as regards their response to godly principles?

He would work toward that goal, of course, yet​—despite his fine efforts—​this may not be the result. Some circumstances go beyond human ability to control. A man’s wife may not be a believing Christian; she may even oppose or persecute him for his faith. (Matt. 10:36; Luke 12:52) Or, from among his children there may be one who slips and commits some immoral act, or who even proves to be a ‘bad apple’ among the bunch. We should note, however, that even some of God’s own spirit sons proved rebellious, as did his first two human children. Yet their actions could in no way be charged to any fault or delinquency on God’s part.

Therefore, if a family member of a Christian husband or father becomes involved in wrongdoing, the important question is: To what extent does the man of the house bear responsibility for this? Was he delinquent in his duties? If so, he would not have the respect of the congregation or those on the outside. On the other hand, if he had done all that reasonably could be expected, in fact, having good success with other family members, the failure of one member to respond to his fine direction would not automatically disqualify him.