My Grand Creator Noticed Me

Growing up in a secular, atheist environment in Paris, France, I did not believe in God. Instead, I embraced the theory of evolution. I accepted it without question as many do, assuming that what was taught at school must be true. This teaching seemed logical, so I saw no reason to examine further evidence about how life originated.

My parents had a negative view of religion. They reasoned that if there were a God, the world would not be full of suffering and injustice. And because I saw so much religious hypocrisy, I too thought that it was foolish to believe in a loving God. I even made fun of those who believed in God.

Now, however, I am convinced not only that the Creator exists but that he cares about me, despite my weaknesses. Let me tell you what changed my mind and how that conviction changed my life.

In my late teens, I was called up for compulsory military service and sent for one year to French Guiana in South America. This remote and beautiful location would have a lasting impact on me.

When I was 20, I returned to Paris. My life soon became a weekly repetition of working hard during the week and drinking and partying hard on the weekend. But this life was empty. Any pleasure was short-lived and had no real purpose. I became disillusioned with corruption, racism, and poverty in society. Innocent people were suffering. The environment was being abused. I wanted something better. My mind went back to South America.

I SEARCHED FOR A BETTER LIFE IN THE RAINFOREST

I returned to one of the remote villages in French Guiana where I had served in the army. I was hoping that my life would take on greater meaning if I was surrounded by nature, smoking cannabis and enjoying myself. But after a while, the old pattern emerged. I worked all week so that I could party on the weekend.

At about that time, someone gave me a Bible. I read some of it, hoping to find good advice to help me live better. But I didn’t understand what I was reading.

I had friends who were also searching for the meaning of life, and they invited me to live with them in their informal community in the rainforest, a place they called Unity.

In the forest, life was simple, and we felt free. We did everything at our own pace without being accountable to anyone. We rose at sunrise, went to bed at sunset, grew our food, played music, and smoked cannabis. We took care of the land and shared everything we had with one another. We were vegetarians because we did not want to harm the animals. We had little respect for authority, and we did not hesitate to break the law if that was more convenient for us and if no one would get hurt.

We wanted to remake the world as we thought it should be. No one in our community had authority over others, and we respected one another regardless of our background. However, I realized that in the end, we all had our own interests and weaknesses and the same problems society faced eventually came up among us too. Some stayed in the community for only a few days; others, for weeks or months. I stayed for over two years.

While living in the rainforest, I saw how generously the earth provides everything we need. One day, I decided to count the seeds of a papaya. There were too many, and I gave up. I thought: ‘Why is the earth so generous to us? It’s like a home that has been carefully prepared for someone’s arrival.’ I realized that it could not be blind chance. But who had arranged all of this for us? There had to be a Creator. But I knew nothing about him.

I continued to read the Bible. But now, I wanted to find out what God required of me. I started praying and making the sign of the cross, not knowing what it meant. I wondered whether the Creator’s name was Jah, as was mentioned in some of the songs we sang in our community.

GETTING TO KNOW MY GENEROUS FATHER

When I think back to when I started praying, I feel that the Creator noticed that I wanted to know more about him. One of my friends in the community had met Jehovah’s Witnesses and obtained the book You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth.a As I read it, I was amazed at what I was learning! I loved the prospect of living eternally on an earth transformed into a paradise. That’s what I was looking for​—to live in an ideal setting on earth and in peace with people I love, without ever having to die. I wanted to draw closer to the generous Creator who purposed this wonderful future for us.

I understood that I needed to make changes in my life, but I also realized that I would need help. So I asked another friend to put me in contact with Michel, a Witness missionary with whom he was studying.

On the very day I met Michel, he invited me to a convention in Matoury, near the capital, Cayenne, more than 240 kilometers (about 155 mi) away. I had very long hair and a scruffy goatee. I wore purple and pink pants with bleach designs all over them and a shirt several sizes too large. Despite my appearance, the brothers and sisters provided me with transportation, food, and accommodations. The love and generosity of the Witnesses convinced me that I had found the truth.

At that convention, 1 Timothy 5:8 was discussed. This verse explains that a good family head will care for those in his household. I learned that Jehovah applies this principle to himself and will always care for those in his family. So I reasoned that if I put Jehovah’s will first in my life, I didn’t need to worry; he would look after me. In time, I became convinced of this as I observed Michel’s example. He focused on doing Jehovah’s will; yet, he lacked nothing and was happy.

As I progressed in my Bible study, I made changes. I decided to stop smoking tobacco and cannabis. Right after making that decision, I threw the remaining tobacco and cannabis into a fire and never smoked again. I began attending some meetings. At one meeting, I asked a brother to cut my long hair, which he did right there at the Kingdom Hall.

After a few weeks, I left the community in French Guiana and returned to France. I found a Kingdom Hall and resumed my Bible study. Although my life had improved, my family was puzzled at how much I had changed. I no longer smoked, got drunk, or went to wild parties. However, they did not appreciate my blunt attempts to preach to them. I later learned that I needed to be more tactful and considerate of their feelings.

I got baptized in 1996. I prayed to Jehovah that I could become a missionary like Michel. This seemed to be the best way for me to show my gratitude to Jehovah.

MORE BLESSINGS FROM MY HEAVENLY FATHER

In my congregation, a beautiful sister named Claudine caught my attention. I noticed that she was zealous in the ministry, and her comments at the meetings showed me that she loved Jehovah very much. I was interested in courtship, but I first wanted to know if Claudine was interested in missionary service. She was! We married in April 2000.

The following year, we began pioneering together. Sometime later, we decided to learn Mandarin to support a Chinese group in a nearby congregation. I found it very difficult to learn this language. I had to adjust to a new way of thinking and to be creative in presenting the truth. Honestly, I never learned to speak Mandarin well. But I did my best, and we spent unforgettable and wonderful years with the Chinese brothers and sisters. Not only was it a great blessing but it was excellent training for later assignments.

DEALING WITH CHALLENGES

Over the years, I’ve had to overcome difficulties. For example, I believed that my efforts to give Jehovah and my brothers and sisters the best were never good enough. So I spent far more time than was necessary preparing my teaching assignments. Still, I was discouraged because I constantly fell short of my unreasonably high standards. (Eccl. 7:16) I needed to learn that Jehovah is a loving Father who does not demand perfection but who appreciates our personal best.

In Paris, I was assigned as a substitute circuit overseer. I felt too young and inexperienced for this role. But I learned that Jehovah’s holy spirit helps us accomplish far more than we can do alone.

I struggled with another challenge. Since childhood, I have suffered from hyperhidrosis, which involves excessive sweating. This condition especially affects my hands. It worsens during stressful situations, such as when I am addressing an audience at an assembly or a convention. But I can minimize this physical reaction by praying to Jehovah for peace of mind. The problem has not disappeared, but when I rely more on Jehovah, I remain calmer and sweat less.

In 2011, Jehovah kindly granted a long-standing request of our hearts. We began missionary service in New Caledonia, an island group in the southwest Pacific, more than 16,000 kilometers (10,000 mi) from Paris. This assignment too presented challenges. We had to adjust to new foods, such as cassava, taro, and yams. And we had to get used to the crowing of roosters and the barking of dogs interrupting our sleep early in the morning. We also had to adapt to a new style of conversation. The local people often respond, not with words, but merely by raising their eyebrows.

Jehovah has also helped us to adjust to new theocratic assignments. We served as field missionaries and for a few years as Bethelites. We attended the School for Kingdom Evangelizers, and now we are in the circuit work. We have experienced Jehovah’s support through his holy spirit in each assignment. He has taught me that personal weaknesses do not necessarily make us less useful to him. So I pray often and earnestly for help to accomplish what is needed. Although I still do not feel at ease before an audience, with God’s help, I have been able to provide encouragement and direction to the congregations we visit.

Through all these changes, Claudine has been a constant support for me. She is very patient with my imperfections. She is supportive in the work we share, always ready to give a zealous witness. She does not complain about the hot weather and the challenges of being in the circuit work.

At my first convention, I learned that Jehovah, the Grand Creator, always cares for his worshippers. As a result, I have gained many blessings. Jehovah has helped me to have the right view of authority and to be humble. I stopped associating with friends from the world so that I could live by Jehovah’s standards, but Jehovah has more than made up for this by providing me with many true friends. I have found a wonderful wife. And I have the magnificent hope of enjoying Jehovah’s generosity for all eternity.​—Mark 10:29, 30.