Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .
Kodi Ndimotani Mmene Anakubala Osakwatiwa Angachitire Bwino Koposa ndi Mkhalidwe Wawo?
MALINGALIRO a Linda anaphatikizapo kuipidwa, kulandula, mantha, mkwiyo, kupanda chiyembekezo, ndi kuthedwa nzeru.a Kupima kunali kutatsimikiziritsa mantha ake aakuluwo—anali ndi mimba ya miyezi itatu. Pokhala wosakwatiwa ndi wa zaka 15 zokha, Linda ndi mmodzi chabe wa mamiliyoni azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 a mu United States amene amakhala ndi mimba chaka chilichonse. Komabe, kukhala ndi mimba kwa azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 kuli vuto la padziko lonse, kukumayambukira mafuko onse a anthu ndi m’magulu onse azachuma a anthu.
Asungwana ena azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 amalingalira kuti kukhala ndi mimba kudzawawonjola ku moyo wa panyumba wopanda chimwemwe kapena kulimbitsa unansi wawo ndi bwenzi lawo lachinyamata. Ena amaona mwana monga chizindikiro cha kutchuka kapena monga kanthu kena ka iwo eni kokasunga ndi kukakonda. Komabe, mwamsanga choonadi choipitsitsa cha kukhala kholo lolera mwana lokha chimathetsa malingaliro oyerekezera otero. Nakubala wosakwatiwa amaumirizika kupanga zosankha zovuta ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri zopweteka kwambiri. Iye angalimbanenso ndi mavuto a kusoŵa ndalama, kuthedwa nzeru, kusukidwa, ndi zovuta za kulera mwana popanda atate wake. Pamenepo, kaamba ka chifukwa chabwino, Mlengi wathu amalamulira Akristu ‘kuthaŵa dama,’ kuphatikizapo la osakwatirana.—1 Akorinto 6:18; Yesaya 48:17.
Chisembwere sichimalekereredwa pakati pa Mboni za Yehova. (1 Akorinto 5:11-13) Ngakhale zili choncho, pakati pawo pali anakubala achichepere ambiri osakwatiwa. Ena anakhala ndi mimba asanaphunzire miyezo ya Mulungu. Ena analeredwa monga Akristu, komano anagwera m’chisembwere. Ena, popatsidwa chilango ndi mpingo, alapa machimo awo. Kodi ndi thandizo ndi chitsogozo chotani chimene Mawu a Mulungu amapereka kwa achichepere otero?b
Kodi Ndikwatiwe ndi Atate Wake?
Baibulo limafotokoza momvekera bwino kuti kuchotsa mimba nkotsutsana ndi lamulo la Mulungu. (Eksodo 20:13; yerekezerani ndi Eksodo 21:22, 23; Salmo 139:14-16.) Limaphunzitsanso kuti nakubala wosakwatiwa ali ndi thayo la kugaŵira mwana wake zosoŵa, mosasamala kanthu za mikhalidwe yosakondweretsa yokhaliramo ndi mimba ya mwanayo. (1 Timoteo 5:8) M’zochitika zambiri, kuli bwino koposa kwa msungwanayo kulera mwanayo iye mwini mmalo mwa kukampereka kunyumba zolerera ana.c
Polingalira za mavuto amene kulera mwana kochitidwa ndi iye mwiniyo kungabweretse, anakubala ena angalingalire kuti kukakhala kwanzeru kukwatiwa ndi atate wake wa mwanayo. Koma atate azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 ambiri amaona kukhala opanda thayo kwa mwanayo kapenanso kwa amake. Ndiponso, atate achichepere ochuluka amakhala ali pausinkhu wopita kusukulu ndi osagwira ntchito. Kuloŵa mumkhalidwe umene wofufuza wina akuutcha kuti “ukwati wosalimba mwachionekere woloŵedwa kwakukulukulu kuti apeŵe kubadwa kwa mwana wapathengo” kungangopangitsa mkhalidwe woipawo kukhala woipirapo. Kumbukiraninso kuti Baibulo limalangiza Akristu kukwatira “mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akorinto 7:39) Pozindikira zimenezi, Linda (wotchulidwa poyambayo) anasankha kusakwatiwa ndi tate wa mwana wakeyo wa zaka 18. Iye akufotokoza kuti: “Analibe chikondwerero mwa Mulungu kapena m’Baibulo.”
Zimenezitu sizikutanthauza kuti atate wachichepereyo ayenera kunyalanyazidwa kotheratu. Pamene mwanayo ayamba kukula, iye angafune kudziŵa atate wake enieni. Kapenanso atate wachichepereyo kapena makolo ake angaone kukhala athayo la kukhala ndi unansi ndi mwanayo kapena kupereka thandizo la ndalama. Chikhalirechobe, makolo a msungwana angakonde kuti msungwanayo asamaonanenso ndi mnyamatayo. (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Komabe, m’maiko ena, mabwalo a milandu apereka lamulo la zoyenera za atate enieni a ana osakwatira zofanana ndi zija zoperekedwa kwa atate okwatira. Chotero kusunga unansi wabwino ndi atate wosakwatirayo ndi banja lake kungapeŵetse kulimbana kwakukulu kofuna chilolezo cha lamulo cha kusunga mwana.d Pamene kuli kwakuti kuonana kwina ndi atate wachichepereyo kungakhale kofunika, iko sikuyenera kukhala kwa mkhalidwe wosonyezana chikondi kapena wothekera kulolera molakwa. Kaŵirikaŵiri kuyang’aniridwa ndi wachikulire nkwabwino.
Kupeza Thandizo
Buku lakuti Surviving Teen Pregnancy likuti: “Pamene musankha za kusunga ndi kulera mwana wanu, mumasankha kukhala munthu wachikulire nthaŵi yomweyo. . . . Mumasankha kuleka moyo wanu wina umene unali wosasamala, umene unalibe zochita zambiri kapena mathayo.” Motero kholo lazaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 limafunikira thandizo ndi chichirikizo. Kuŵerenga mabuku oyenera azamankhwala (amene angapezeke mosavuta m’malaibulale aboma) kungathandize kwambiri nakubala wachichepere wamantha kukulitsa chidaliro m’maluso ake akusamalira mwana.
Chofunika koposa ndicho chichirikizo cha makolo. Amake a munthu angakhale mtapo wa golidi weniweni wa chidziŵitso cholerera mwana. Zoonadi, kupempha thandizo kungakhale kovuta. Makolo a msungwana angakhale akali opwetekedwa ndi akupsa mtima. Angakhalenso akuwopera kuti mimbayo idzavutitsa moyo wawo. “Makolo anga anakwiya chifukwa chakuti anali ndi zinthu zina zimene anafuna kuchita,” akukumbukira motero Donna wa zaka 17. “Tsopano amanena kuti sangathe kuchita zinthuzo chifukwa cha kukhala kwanga ndi mwana uyu.” M’kupita kwa nthaŵi makolo ochuluka amabweza mkwiyo wawo ndipo amakhala ofunitsitsa kuthandiza mwanjira ina. Wachichepere wolapa angachepetse mavutowo mwa kuvomereza zovuta zimene wadzetsa ndi kupepesa moona mtima.—Yerekezerani ndi Luka 15:21.
Bwanji ngati makolo a msungwana akana kuthandiza kapena ngati mwina sangathe kumlola kupitirizabe kukhala nawo? M’maiko amene thandizo la boma limaperekedwa, nakubala wosakwatiwa angangosankha kugwiritsira ntchito mwaŵiwo—kungoti apeze poyambira. Baibulo limaloleza Akristu kugwiritsira ntchito makonzedwe otero. Komabe, zimenezi zidzatanthauza kukhala wosinira kwambiri ndalama. “Vuto langa lalikulu koposa likuonekera kukhala ndalama,” akutero Sharon wa zaka 17. “Ndingathe kugula chakudya ndi mateŵera, komano nzokhazo basi.” M’kupita kwa nthaŵi kungakhale koyenera kukagwira ntchito yolembedwa. Kuyesa kuchita ntchito yaunakubala, ntchito yolembedwa, ndi zochitika zauzimu nthaŵi imodzi sikudzakhala kopepuka, koma ena akhala okhoza kuzichita.
Kugwiritsira Ntchito Nzeru ndi Luntha Pokhala Pamodzi
Ngati makolo anu avomereza, kukhala panyumba kungakhale ndi mapindu enieni mmalo mwa kuyesa kukadzionera panokha. Kaŵirikaŵiri kukhala panyumba sikufuna ndalama zambiri. Ndiponso, malo ozoloŵereka a panyumba angapereke lingaliro la chitetezero ndi chisungiko. Kukhala panyumba kungapangitsenso kukhala kosavuta kwa msungwana kupitiriza maphunziro ake. Mwa kumaliza sukulu ya sekondale, msungwana amakulitsa kwambiri kuthekera kwake kwa kupeŵa moyo waumphaŵi.e
Ndithudi, kukhala m’nyumba yamibadwo itatu kungabweretse chipsinjo ndi mavuto kwa aliyense wokhudzidwa. Nakubala wolera mwana ali yekha angafunikire kupirira ndi kukhala mopanikizana. Makolo ndi abale a msungwanayo angafunikire kukhala ozoloŵera kudodometsedwa tulo tawo ndi kulira kwa mwanayo. Njira yochitira zinthu ya banjalo ingasokonezedwe. Koma Miyambo 24:3 imati: “Nzeru imangitsa nyumba; luntha liikhazikitsa.” Inde, ngati onse amene ali okhudzidwa asonyeza chikondi chopanda dyera ndi kulingalirana, kusamvana mkati mwa banjalo kungachepetsedwe.
Mavuto adzabukanso ngati nakubala wachichepereyo ayesa kupeŵa kusenza katundu wake wa thayo ndi kuyembekezera agogo kuchita ntchito yonse. (Yerekezerani ndi Agalatiya 6:5.) Kapena zingachitike kuti agogo okhala ndi cholinga chabwino amalamulira kotheratu za kusamaliridwa kwa chidzukulu chawo. Buku lakuti Facing Teenage Pregnancy likunena kuti: “Agogo ambiri amene amalera mwana wa mwana wawo wamkazi wosakwatiwa monga ngati kuti ndiwawo angawonjezere mkangano m’banja ndi kuchititsa mwanayo kusadziŵa bwino amene ali kholo lake.” Pamene kuli kwakuti thandizo ndi chichirikizo cha gogoyo nzofunika, Malemba amapereka thayo la kulera mwana kwa makolo. (Aefeso 6:1, 4) Chifukwa chake kukambitsirana komasuka ndi kugwirizana kungasungitse kwambiri mtendere ndi kupeŵetsa kusamvana.—Miyambo 15:22.
Simuli Nokha
Ngakhale kuti kulera mwana wapathengo kuli kovuta, iko sikuli mapeto a moyo wa munthu. Mulungu ‘amakhululukira koposa’ awo amene amalapa machimo awo. (Yesaya 55:7) Kusinkhasinkha zimenezi kungathandize nakubala wosakwatiwa kugonjetsa malingaliro a kuipidwa ndi munthu mwini amene angamfikire nthaŵi zina. Pamene akhala wolefuka maganizo, iye angayedzamire pa Yehova ndi kumfikira m’pemphero. Angachondererenso thandizo la Mulungu m’kulera mwana wake.—Yerekezerani ndi Oweruza 13:8.
Yehova amaperekanso chichirikizo kupyolera mu mpingo Wachikristu. Ngakhale kuti Mboni za Yehova sizimalekerera chisembwere, izo zimalingalira awo amene molapa amasintha miyoyo yawo kuti akondweretse Mulungu. (Aroma 15:7; Akolose 1:10) Ena mu mpingo angasonkhezeredwe kupeza njira zanzeru zoperekera thandizo lina labwino kwa kholo losakwatiwalo. (Yerekezerani ndi Deuteronomo 24:17-20; Yakobo 1:27.) Mwinamwake, iwo angathe kupanga ubwenzi ndi kukhala omvetsera momvera chisoni pamene kuli kofunika. (Miyambo 17:17) Ngakhale kuli kwakuti makolo anachita tchimo lalikulu, mwanayo ali wosalakwa. Chotero mpingo ungathandize ngati nakubalayo asonyeza mkhalidwe wamaganizo wabwino.
Nkwabwino kwambiri chotani nanga kusaswa malamulo a Mulungu pachiyambi pomwe! Koma ochimwa amene alapa pa njira yawo yopandukayo, ndi amene achita moyenerera, angatsimikizire za thandizo la Yehova la mmene angachitire bwino koposa ndi mkhalidwe wawo.
[Mawu a M’munsi]
a Ena a maina asinthidwa.
b Nkhani ino sikunena za anthu ogonedwa ndi achibale kapena ogwiriridwa chigololo, ngakhale kuti zina za mfundo zake zimene zili muno zingakhaledi zothandiza kwa anthu otero.
c Onani “Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . . Kukhala ndi Pakati kwa Azaka Zapakati pa 13 ndi 19—Kodi Msungwana Angachitenji?” m’kope lathu la May 8, 1990.
d Onani “Ndani Yemwe Adzatenga Mwana?” m’kope lathu la November 8, 1988.
e Ena agwiritsira ntchito maprogramu a boma amene amaphunzitsa maluso amene ntchito zake zimapezeka. Pangakhalenso maprogramu amene amasamalira mwana pamene amake ali m’kalasi.
[Chithunzi patsamba 17]
Nakubala wosakwatiwa afunikira thandizo ndi chichirikizo