Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndiyenera Kuchitanji Ngati Bwenzi Langa Laloŵa m’Vuto?

Sherrie wazaka khumi ndi zinayi akunena kuti: “Bwenzi langa lapamtima linapatuka pa kukhala Mkristu. Zikundichititsa chisoni. Ndayesetsa kumlimbikitsa!”a

KODI bwenzi lanu laloŵa m’vuto—kapena layamba kulondola moyo wokayikitsa? “Tinali kumvana kwambiri ndi Chris,” akutero Johnny. “Tinali mabwenzi apamtima. Tsiku lina anathaŵa panyumba. Zimenezi zinandizunguza mutu, ndipo ndinaona kuti ndi thayo langa kumlondola. Ndinamfunafuna ndi galimoto langa usiku wonse.”

Baibulo linachenjeza kuti m’masiku otsiriza, anthu adzakumana ndi zinthu zovuta kwambiri, achichepere ndi achikulire omwe. (2 Timoteo 3:1-5) Motero sitiyenera kudabwa pamene nthaŵi zingapo Mkristu wachichepere apunthwa. Koma pamene zichitikira wina amene mumakonda, mungavutike mtima kwambiri, mukumamva chisoni ndi chifundo ngakhale kukwiya. Mukufuna kuthandiza bwenzi lanu. Koma kodi ndi motani mmene mungachitire zimenezo?

‘Ndingampulumutse’

Baibulo limati: “Iye amene abweza wochimwa ku njira yake yoso[k]era adzapulumutsa munthu [wochimwayo] kwa imfa, ndipo adzavundikira machimo aunyinji.” (Yakobo 5:20) Koma kodi zimenezi zimatanthauza kuti kuchita zimenezi ndi thayo lanu? Osati kwenikweni. Makolo a bwenzi lanu ali ndi thayo lalikulu pa iye. (Aefeso 6:4) Baibulo limanenanso pa Agalatiya 6:1 kuti: “Abale, ngatinso munthu agwidwa nako kulakwa kwakuti, inu auzimu, mubweze wotereyu mumzimu wa chifatso.” Oyang’anira a mpingo ngoyeneretsedwa makamaka pankhaniyi. Motero iwo ndiwo amene angapereke thandizo labwino kwambiri koposa inu.

Muyenera kudziŵa kuti monga wachichepere, muli ndi chidziŵitso chochepa m’moyo. (Yerekezerani ndi Ahebri 5:14.) Motero mwanzeru vomerezani kuti zimene mungathe kuchita pa zimenezi nzazing’ono ndipo peŵani kuyamba zinthu zimene simukhoza kukwaniritsa. (Miyambo 11:2) Talingalirani za wachichepere wina wotchedwa Rebekah. Iye anali kuyesa kuthandiza bwenzi lake lachimuna, wachibale wake, amene anayamba kugwiritsira ntchito anamgoneka. Iye akusimba kuti: “Chimene chinandivuta kwambiri nchakuti anafotokozera ine zakukhosi kwake osati makolo ake. Ndinayesa kumthandiza, koma zonse zinali zachabe. Zinandithandiza pomalizira pake pamene ndinaona kuti panalibe zimene ndikanatha kuchita . . . Sindikanatha kukhala mpulumutsi wake.” Ndiyeno Rebekah anamlimbikitsa kupeza thandizo kwa akulu oyeneretsedwa.

Mateyu wachichepere analinso mumkhalidwe umodzimodzi, koma pachiyambi pake anadziŵiratu kuchepa kwa chidziŵitso chake. Ponena za bwenzi lake lokhala m’vuto, iye akunena kuti: “Anali kudza kwa ine ndi mavuto ake, koma ndinkamuuza kupita kwa makolo ake. Ndinadziŵa kuti sindingathe kunyamula mavuto ake.”

Mmene Mungathandizire

Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti palibe zilizonse zimene mungachite kuti muthandize. Zambiri zimadalira pa mkhalidwe wake. Mwinamwake bwenzi lanu likufuna kukuuzani zakukhosi. Mwachibadwa, mungafune kumchirikiza ndi kum’mvetsera. (Miyambo 18:24; 21:13) Kapena kungakhale kuti wayamba kulondola moyo wokayikitsa. Kungakhale bwino kupeza nzeru yomuuzira kuti pamene kuli kwakuti mumadera nkhaŵa za iye, simungavomereze zimene akuchita.

Mkhalidwe wina ungakhudze bwenzi lanu limene lavomera kuti lachita tchimo lalikulu. Lingafune ngakhale kukuchititsani kulonjeza kuti simudzanena kwa aliyense. Koma Baibulo limati: “Usayanjana nazo zoipa za eni; udzisunge wekha woyera mtima.” (1 Timoteo 5:22) Ngati bwenzi lanu linali lodwala kwa kayakaya ndipo linafunikira mankhwala, kodi simukanaumirira kumpereka kwa dokotala? Mofananamo, ngati ilo lachita tchimo lalikulu, lifunikira thandizo lauzimu. Kubisa nkhanizo kungamuphe mwauzimu—ndi kuyambukira mpingo moipa kwambiri. Motero muli ndi thayo lotsimikizira kuti akulu a mpingo auzidwa.—Yerekezerani ndi Levitiko 5:1.

Caroline wachichepere analimba mtima ponena za bwenzi lake lopulupudza limene linali kunyenga makolo ake. Iye akunena kuti: “Ndinampatsa milungu iŵiri kuti apite kwa akulu. Ndinamuuza kuti ngati sadzapita, ineyo ndidzatero. Zimenezi zinali zovuta kuchita kwa ine.” Johnny, wotchulidwa pachiyambi, anasonyeza kulimba mtima kumodzimodziko. Ponena za bwenzi lake, Johnny akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinadabwa kudziŵa kuti anali kukhala ndi mtsikana wina. Kunalinso anyamata ena kumeneko amene anali kumwa ndi kusuta.” Johnny anapempha bwenzi lake kutulukira kunja namlimbikitsa mwamphamvu kuti apeze thandizo kwa akulu mumpingo.

Bwenzi lanu lingayamikire kapena silingayamikire zoyesayesa zanu. Baibulo limatiuza kuti pamene abale ake anachita zolakwa, Yosefe wachichepereyo “anamfotokozera atate wake mbiri yawo yoipa.” Mosakayikira zimenezi sizinakulitse chikondi cha abale ake pa iye. Zoonadi, “anamuda iye.”—Genesis 37:2-4.

Zonse Monga mwa Masiku Onse?

Komabe, mungalepheretse zoyesayesa zanu za kuthandiza, ngati mungapitirize kugwirizana ndi bwenzi lanu monga ngati kuti palibe chimene chinachitika. Mtumwi Paulo anachenjeza Akristu kuti asamagwirizane ndi ochita machimo pa 1 Akorinto 15:33. Mayanjano athithithi ndi anthu otero angangokusautsani mtima!

Mollie wachichepere anadziŵa zimenezi m’njira yomvetsa chisoni pamene bwenzi lake Sally linayamba kumacheza ndi anyamata mobisa. Sally sanali chabe wamng’ono kwambiri kwakuti nkukwatiwa koma analinso kucheza ndi anyamata amene sanali Akristu. Mollie ananyalanyaza mkhalidwewo napitirizabe kuyanjana ndi bwenzi lakelo. Kodi chotulukapo chake chinali chiyani? Mollie akunena kuti: “M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, Sally anandilinganizira mnyamata wakunja woti ndikacheze naye, ndipo tinapita kokacheza.” Mwamwaŵi, Mollie anathandizidwa ndi akulu a mpingo zinthu zisanaipiretu.

Lynn nayenso analolera zinthu moipa kuti akhalebe paubwenzi ndi mtsikana wina wotchedwa Beth. “Ndinaona ngati kuti ndingampulumutse,” akukumbukira motero Lynn, “koma sizinatheke. Ndinapita naye kumakalabu. Ndinali kudziŵa kuti kuchita motero kunali kulakwa, koma sindinafune kuti akhumudwe. Mavuto ake anayamba kundilemera. Sindinalankhule za nkhaniyo, ndikumayesa kuti vutolo lidzatha, m’malo mwake, linakulirako.” Tsoka linamugalamutsa Lynn. Bwenzi lakelo linaphedwa ndi mwamuna amene anali kumacheza naye.

Kumamatira kwa bwenzi kungaoneke bwino kwambiri. Koma ngati bwenzi lanu lili kumira paphote lamphamvu, kodi inuyo mungalumphirepo? Zimenezo zingangopha nonse aŵirinu. Chochita chanzeru chingakhale kumponyera chiŵiya chimene chingamthandize kuti asamire. Mofananamo, muyenera kumpatsa thandizo muli pamtunda wabwino.—Yuda 22, 23.

Kukhala patali ndi bwenzi lanu nkofunika kwambiri pamene bwenzi lanu lachotsedwa mumpingo. Lamulo la Baibulo ndilo la ‘kusayanjana naye’ wotero. (1 Akorinto 5:11) Pamene kuli kwakuti mumaderabe nkhaŵa za iye, mungamthandize bwino koposa, osati mwa kumlondola m’zolakwa zake, koma mwa kusonyeza kukhulupirika kwanu kwa Yehova. (Salmo 18:25) Kaimidwe kanu kosagwedera kangakhale kanthu kamene kangamsonkhezere kupendanso zochita zake. Koposa zonse, kukhulupirika kwanu kudzasangalatsa Yehova.—Miyambo 27:11.

Katundu Wolema Kwambiri

Komabe, nthaŵi zambiri kuyesetsa kwanu kuthandiza kumalephera. Rebekah akukumbukira za bwenzi lake kuti: “Ndinayesetsa kumthandiza. Ndinamlembera ngakhale kalata, koma sanayankhe.” Caroline anaona kuti pambuyo pa miyezi ingapo ya kuyesayesa kuthandiza bwenzi lake limene linali kuseŵera ndi tsoka, iye anayamba “kumva kupsinjika maganizo.”

Nkofunika kukumbukira kuti “aliyense wa ife adzadziŵerengera mlandu wake kwa Mulungu.” (Aroma 14:12) Ndipo pamene kuli kwakuti kuli bwino kuthandiza wina wake kunyamula zothodwetsa zake, kapena mavuto ake aumwini, mwa kumpatsa chithandizo chogwira ntchito, simungathe kunyamula “katundu” wa munthu wina—ndiko kunena kuti thayo la munthuyo kwa Mulungu. “Yense adzasenza katundu wake wa iye mwini,” limatero Baibulo. (Agalatiya 6:5) Mulibe mlandu pa zosankha zimene bwenzi lanu limapanga.

Ngakhale zili tero, kuona bwenzi likuononga moyo wake nkopweteka mtima. Wachichepere wina wotchedwa Mike akunena motere pakutayika kwa bwenzi lake: “Zinandichititsa chisoni kwambiri. Tinali kumvana kwambiri ndi Mark ndi makolo ake. Ndinachita tondovi.”

Nkwachibadwa kuchita chisoni ndi kutayikidwa kotero. Komabe, kulankhula za malingaliro anu ndi wina amene mumadalira kungathandize. (Miyambo 12:25) “Ndi chithandizo cha makolo anga,” akutero Rebekah, “ndinatha kupirira.” Inunso mungatsanulire malingaliro anu kwa Yehova Mulungu m’pemphero. (Salmo 62:8) Caroline akumaliza nkhaniyo mwa kunena kuti: “Kupemphera kwa Yehova ndi kulalikira ena kunandithandiza kwambiri. Ndinayandikiranso kwa ena mumpingo, makamaka kwa akazi achikulire. Pomalizira pake ndinadziŵa kuti anthu ali ndi mlandu pa zochita zawo ndi kuti ndinafunikira kupitiriza ndi moyo wanga.” Mwa kuchita zonsezo, mudzadzithandizadi. Ndipo mukhozanso kuthandiza bwenzi lanu lopulupudzalo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 13]

Limbikitsani bwenzi lanu kupeza thandizo