Mmene Mungatetezere Ana Anu

AMBIRIFE sitifuna kuganizira kwambiri za vuto la kugona ana. Makolo ambiri, safuna n’komwe kumva nkhaniyi. Koma vuto la kugona ana likudetsa nkhawa kwambiri masiku ano ndipo lafala kwabasi. Ana amene akumanapo ndi vutoli amasokonezeka kwambiri. Ndiye kodi n’zomveka kuti makolonu muzizemba nkhaniyi? Kodi simukuona kuti m’pofunika kudziwa bwino nkhani imeneyi kuti muteteze ana anu? Ndiyetu musaope kudziwa zoopsa zokhudzana ndi nkhaniyi chifukwa zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kuteteza ana anu.

Musalole kuti kufala kwa vuto la kugona ana kukufooleni. Dziwani kuti ana anu sangathe kudziteteza pawokha, motero musadziderere chifukwa inuyo ndi amene muli ndi mphamvu kuposa anawo ndipo pangafunike zaka zambiri kuti ana anu adzakhale ndi mphamvu zotero. Mukudziwa zinthu zambiri chifukwa mwakumana ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana ndiponso muli ndi nzeru zambiri kuposa ana anu. Koma nkhani yagona pa kugwiritsira ntchito zinthu zimenezi poteteza ana anuwo. Tikambirana njira zitatu zimene makolo onse angatsatire pofuna kuteteza ana awo. Njira zake ndi izi: (1) Inuyo mukhale chitetezo choyamba kwa ana anu. (2) Phunzitsani ana anu za nkhani imeneyi mogwirizana ndi misinkhu yawo. (3) Phunzitsani ana anu njira zina zodzitetezera.

Kodi Inuyo Ndinu Chitetezo Choyamba kwa Ana Anu?

Amene ali ndi udindo woyamba woteteza ana ndi makolo osati anawo ayi. Motero, makolo ndiwo ayenera kuyamba kuphunzitsidwa, kenaka ana. Ngati muli ndi ana, pali zinthu zingapo zimene muyenera kudziwa zokhudza vuto la kugona ana. Muyenera kudziwa kuti ndi anthu otani amene amagona ana ndiponso kuti amagwiritsira ntchito njira zotani kuti awachite anawo zachipongwezi? Makolo ambiri akamaganizira za anthu ogona ana, amaganiza za anthu amene amabisalira ana n’cholinga chowaba ndi kuwagwiririra. Inde, anthu oterewa alipo ndithu. Nkhani zoterezi n’zotchuka m’manyuzi, pa TV, ndiponso pa wailesi. Koma zoterezi sizichitikachitika. Anthu ambiri amene amagona ana amakhala oti mwanayo akuwadziwa ndipo amawakhulupirira.

Ambirife sitingakayikire anzathu, aphunzitsi, azachipatala, kapena achibale powaganizira kuti iwowa angamalakelake kugona ndi ana athu. Ndipotu n’zoona kuti anthu ambiri alibe maganizo oipa ogona ana. Motero sibwino kukayikira wina aliyense. Komabe, mungathe kuteteza ana anu ngati mutadziwa njira zimene anthu ambiri ogona ana amagwiritsa ntchito.—Onani bokosi lomwe lili pa tsamba 6.

Kudziwa njira zimenezi kungakuthandizeni makolonu kuti mukhale chitetezo choyamba kwa mwana wanu. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mungatani ngati pali munthu winawake amene amakonda kwambiri ana kuposa akuluakulu ndipo amakonda kuti azikhala awiriwiri limodzi ndi mwana wanu wina? Mwina munthuyo amapita ndi mwana wanuyo koyenda, amam’patsa mphatso zosiyanasiyana, kapenanso amakonda kukuuzani kuti akhoza kukuthandizani kum’samalira mwana wanuyo. Kodi zikatero muzingoti basi ameneyo ndi wogona ana? Ayi, musamafulumire kuganiza zimenezo. N’kutheka kuti munthuyo ndi wamtima wabwino basi. Komabe, mwina zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kukhala maso. Baibulo limati: “Wachibwana akhulupirira mawu onse; koma wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.”—Miyambo 14:15.

Musaiwale kuti anthu achinyengo amakhala ngati anthu abwino kwambiri. Choncho samalani kwambiri ndi munthu aliyense amene akudzipereka kuti azichita zinthu zinazake ndi mwana wanu pawokha. Ndi bwino kumuuza munthuyo kuti mungathe kutulukira nthawi iliyonse kuti muonane ndi mwana wanuyo. Bambo Andreya ndi a Linda, omwe ndi makolo achinyamata ali ndi ana aamuna atatu, ndipo amasamala kwambiri kuti asamasiye ana awowo ali wokhawokha ndi munthu wamkulu. Mmodzi wa ana awowo ankaphunzitsidwa zoimbaimba panyumba pawo pompo ndi mphunzitsi winawake wam’muna. A Linda anamuuza munthuyo kuti: “Pepani, ndizilowalowa m’chipinda muno mpaka mumalize.” Mwina mungaganize kuti makolowa anachita zinthu monyanyira, komatu anatero poopa kudzanong’oneza bondo.

Yesetsani kuti muzichita zinthu zosiyanasiyana limodzi ndi ana anu monga kucheza ndi anzawo ndiponso kuchita nawo ntchito ya kusukulu yochitira ku nyumba. Ngati mwana wanu akupita kwinakwake ndi anzake akusukulu kapena anthu ena, dziwani zonse zofunika kudziwa zokhudza kumene akupitako. Katswiri wina wothandiza anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la m’maganizo, yemwe wakhala zaka 33 akuthandiza anthu omwe anachitidwapo zachipongwe zoterezi, ananena kuti waonapo ana ambirimbiri amene sakanachitidwa zachipongwe zoterezi ngati makolo awo akanawateteza potsatira njira zinazake zosavuta. Iye anagwira mawu munthu wina amene anamangidwa chifukwa chogona ana. Munthuyo anati: “Makolo amachita kutipatsa okha ana awo. . . . Kunena zoona, ineyo sindinkavutika kupeza ana owagona.” Musaiwale kuti zidyamakanda zambiri zimakonda kupezerera ana osavuta kuwachita zachipongwe zoterezi. N’zovuta kupezerera ana amene makolo awo amayesetsa kuchita nawo limodzi zinthu zambiri.

Njira ina imene mungakhalire chitetezo choyamba kwa ana anu ndiyo kumamvetsera mosamala zimene akukuuzani. Nthawi zambiri ana saulula kuti achitidwa zachipongwe chifukwa cha manyazi ndi mantha. Motero, khalani osamala kwambiri kuti muone ngati pali china chilichonse chokayikitsa.a Mwana wanu akanena zinazake zokayikitsa, musapupulume. Mufunseni modekha kuti afotokoze bwinobwino. Akakuuzani kuti sakufuna kuti enaake amene amamusamalira apitirize kubwera, mufunseni chifukwa chake. Akakuuzani kuti munthu winawake wamkulu amachita naye masewera enaake amene mwanayo akulephera kuwafotokoza bwinobwino, mufunseni kuti: “Masewera ake ndi otani makamaka? Amakutani?” Akakuuzani kuti winawake amamugwiragwira, mufunseni kuti: “Amakugwiragwira pati?” Musamafulumire kuganiza kuti mwanayo akungonena zachibwana. Munthu amene amagona ana angauze mwanayo kuti, ngati ataulula palibe amene angamukhulupirire, ndipotu nthawi zambiri izi n’zimene zimachitikadi. Kwa mwana amene wachitidwa zachipongwe zoterezi, m’pofunika kwambiri kuti makolo akhulupirire zimene akuwauza. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti mwanayo akhazikike maganizo.

Phunzitsani Ana Anu Nkhaniyi

Buku lina lonena za nkhani ya kugona ana linagwira mawu a munthu wina amene anamangidwa chifukwa chogona ana. Munthuyo anati: “Ndikapeza mwana amene sakudziwa chilichonse chokhudza zogonana ndimangoti, uwu ndi mwayi wanzama.” Mawu ochititsa nthumanziwa ayenera kuthandiza makolo kuona kuti nkhaniyi si yofunika kuitenga mwachibwana ayi. Ana amene sakudziwa chilichonse chokhudza nkhani ya kugonana savuta kuchitidwa chipongwe ndi anthu ogona ana. Baibulo limati kudziwa zinthu ndiponso kukhala ndi nzeru kungatiteteze kwa “anthu onena zokhota.” (Miyambo 2:10-12) Kodi simungafune kuti ana anu akhale otetezeka kwa anthu otero? Mukachita zimenezi tsatirani njira yachiwiri yofunika kwambiri yotetezera ana anu. Njira yake ndiyo kuwaphunzitsa za nkhani yofunikayi.

Komano kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Makolo ambiri sakhala omasuka kukambirana ndi ana awo nkhani ya kugonana. Ana anu angakhalenso omangika kwambiri kukambirana nkhaniyi ndi inuyo ndipo n’zokayikitsa kwambiri kuti angaiyambitse n’komwe. Motero inuyo ndiye muyenera kuiyambitsa. A Linda anati: “Tinayamba kuwaphunzitsa za mayina a ziwalo zam’thupi adakali ana aang’ono kwambiri. Tinkawauza mayina enieni, osati mayina omwe ana amatchula. Tinkatero kuti anawo adziwe kuti nkhani yokhudza ziwalo zawo si yoseketsa kapena yochititsa manyazi.” Mukatero sizivuta kuyamba kuwaphunzitsa anawo zoti pali anthu omwe angathe kuwachita zachipongwe. Makolo ambiri amangouza ana awo kuti asamalole munthu aliyense kuwaonera, kapena kuwagwira zam’kabudula kapena m’diresi.

A Zione, omwe tawatchula m’nkhani yoyamba ija anati: “Ine ndi a Phiri tinauza mwana wathu kuti asamalole munthu aliyense kuona kapena kugwira chokodzera chake, ndiponso kuti si choseweretsa ayi. Tinamuuza kuti asamalole aliyense kuseweretsa chokodzeracho kaya ndi ineyo, bambo ake, ngakhalenso adokotala. Tikapita naye kuchipatala, ndinkamuuza kuti adokotala akungofuna kuti aone kuti zonse zili bwinobwino, motero mwina angathe kumugwira chokodzera.” Makolo onse azikhalapo pokambirana zimenezi ndi mwana wawo, ndipo azim’limbikitsa kawirikawiri kuti nthawi iliyonse angathe kuwauza ngati wina aliyense anamugwira m’njira yosayenera, kapena yomwe mwanayo sanasangalale nayo. Akatswiri a zosamalira ana ndi zopewa khalidwe logona ana amati ndi bwino kuti makolo onse azikambirana ndi ana awo m’njira imeneyi.

Anthu ambiri aona kuti buku la Phunzirani kwa Mphunzitsi Walusob n’lothandiza kwambiri pophunzitsa ana nkhani imeneyi. Mutu 32 wakuti, “Mmene Yesu Anatetezedwera,” umaphunzitsa ana molimbikitsa ndiponso momveka bwino za kuopsa kwa khalidwe logona ana ndiponso kuti m’pofunika kudziteteza. A Linda anati: “Bukuli latithandiza kutsendera m’maganizo a ana athu mfundo zimene takhala tikuwauza.”

Masiku ano, ana amafunika kudziwa kuti pali anthu ena amene amafuna kugwiragwira ana kapenanso kuti anawo aziwagwira iwowo malo osayenerera. Sikuti mukachenjeza ana anu za anthu amenewa ndiye kuti anawo azikhala mwamantha kapena asiya kukhulupirira anthu onse akuluakulu. A Zione anati: “Kupewa kuposa kuchiza. M’pofunika kwambiri kuti ana athu tiziwalangiza za nkhani imeneyi monga mmene timawalangizira za nkhani zina zosiyanasiyana. Mwana wathu titamulangiza za nkhaniyi sanayambe kuchita mantha ngakhale pang’ono.”

Pophunzitsa mwana wanuyo zimenezi, onetsetsani kuti akumvetsa kuti ayenerabe kukhala mwana womvera. Kuphunzitsa mwana kukhala womvera n’kofunika kwambiri koma si kophweka ayi. (Akolose 3:20) Ndipotu mukapanda kusamala mungathe kuchita zinthu monyanyira. Mwachitsanzo, si bwino kuuza mwana wanu kuti nthawi zonse azimvera chilichonse chimene munthu aliyense wamkulu akumuuza. Chifukwatu kutero n’kuika mwana wanuyo pangozi. Anthu ogona ana sachedwa kudziwa kuti mwana uyu amangomvera zilizonse. Makolo anzeru amaphunzitsa ana awo kuti asamangomvera zilizonse. Kwa Akhristu, iyi si nkhani yovuta kwambiri chifukwa amangofunikira kumuuza mwanayo kuti: “Ngati wina aliyense atakuuza kuti uchite zinthu zimene Yehova Mulungu amadana nazo, osalola ayi. Ngakhale n’takhala ineyo kapena bambo akowa, usamalole. Ndipo ngati winawake akufuna kuti uchite zinthu zolakwika uzimunenera kwa ineyo kapena kwa bambo ako.”

Potsiriza, langizani ana anu kuti asamalole aliyense kuwauza kuti asunge chinsinsi chinachake, osakuuzani inuyo. Auzeni kuti munthu aliyense akawauza kuti anawo asakuuzeni zinazake, azibwera kudzam’nenera. Ngakhale munthuyo atawaopseza, kapena ngakhale anawo atachita zolakwa zinazake pawokha, gogomezerani kuti asamaope ngakhale pang’ono kudzakuuzani. Musawauze malangizowa mowachititsa mantha ana anuwo. Atsimikizireni kuti anthu ambiri aakulu sangawachite zinthu zoterezi. Sangawagwiregwire malo osayenera, kuwauza kuti achite zinthu zosamvera Mulungu, kapena kuwauza kuti asauze makolo awo zinazake. Awa ndi malangizo ongothandiza kuti musadzanong’oneze bondo, ndipo mwina anawo sadzakumana ndi zoterezi ayi.

Phunzitsani Ana Anu Mmene Angadzitetezere

Njira yachitatu imene tikambirane ndiyo kuphunzitsa mwana wanu zinthu zingapo zosavuta zimene ayenera kuchita ngati munthu wina akufuna kumuchita zachipongwe inuyo palibe. Mungamuphunzitse njira imeneyi mokhala ngati mukuchita naye masewera. Inuyo mungamufunse kuti: “Ungatani ngati patachitika zakutizakuti?” Ndiyeno mwanayo ayankhe. Mwachitsanzo mungamufunse kuti: “Ungatani ngati titasowana mu msika? Kodi ungatani kuti undipeze?” Mwina mwanayo sangayankhe mmene mukufunira, koma mungathe kumuthandiza kuyankha molondola mwina pomuuza kuti: “Taganizira njira ina yabwino kuposa imeneyi.”

Mungathe kumufunsa mwana wanu mafunso ngati amenewa pomuphunzitsa njira yabwino kwambiri yoti azitsatira ngati munthu winawake atafuna kumugwira malo osayenera. Ngati mwana wanuyo amachita manyazi kwambiri akafunsidwa mafunso oterewa, mungathe kumuuza ngati kuti mukunena za mwana wina. Mwachitsanzo, mungamuuze kuti: “Tiyerekezere kuti kamtsikana kenakake kali ndi achibale, mwina amalume ake, ndiyeno iwowo akufuna kuyamba kukagwiragwira malo osayenera. Ukuganiza kuti kamtsikanako kayenera kutani kuti kadziteteze?”

Kodi mwana wanuyo muyenera kum’phunzitsa kuti azitani akakumana ndi zoterezi? Munthu wina wolemba mabuku anati: “N’zodabwitsa kuti njira imene imathandiza kwambiri ndiyo kukana mwamphamvu ponena kuti, “Choka!” kapena “Osandigwira!” kapenanso “Tandisiya!” Mwanayo akalankhula motere, anthu ofuna kum’chita zachipongwe amachita naye mantha n’kumusiya.” M’thandizeni mwana wanu kuyeserera kukuwa, ndi kuthawa mwamsanga, n’kudzakuuzani zonse zimene zachitikazo. Ngakhale mutaona kuti mwanayo wamvetsa bwinobwino zimene mwamuphunzitsazo, angathe kuiwala zonsezi pakangotha milungu kapena miyezi yochepa chabe. Motero muzimuphunzitsa mobwerezabwereza.

Anthu onse amene amathandiza pa ntchito yosamalira mwanayo, aakazi ndi aamuna omwe, kaya ndi abambo ake enieni, kaya omupeza, kapenanso wachibale wina aliyense, ayenera kukhalapo pom’phunzitsa zimenezi. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? N’chifukwa choti onse amene akukhalapo pophunzitsa mwanayo amakhala ngati kuti akulonjeza kuti iwowo sadzamuchita chipongwe chilichonse mwanayo. Koma n’zomvetsa chisoni kuti ana ambiri amachitidwa chipongwe choterechi ndi achibale awo. Nkhani yotsatirayi ifotokoza mmene mungatetezere banja lanu m’dziko la anthu amakhalidwe oipali.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 5]

Khalani chitetezo choyamba kwa mwana wanu

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 7]

Phunzitsani mwana wanu nkhani imeneyi

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 8]

Phunzitsani mwana wanu mmene angadzitetezere

[Bokosi patsamba 4]

VUTOLI N’LOFALA PADZIKO LONSE

Mu 2006, mlembi wamkulu wa bungwe la United Nations anapereka lipoti ku nyumba ya malamulo ya bungweli lofotokoza za ana amene akuchitidwa nkhanza padziko lonse. Lipotili linakonzedwa ndi katswiri wina amene bungweli linam’pempha kufufuza nkhaniyi. Lipotilo linati chaka china chaposachedwapa, atsikana pafupifupi 150 miliyoni ndiponso anyamata pafupifupi 73 miliyoni osakwanitsa zaka 18 “agwiriridwapo kapena kuchitidwa zachipongwe zina zotere.” Awatu ndi ana ambiri zedi, koma lipotili linati: “Chiwerengero chimenechi n’chochepa chifukwa n’chongoyerekezera chabe.” Ataunikanso zimene ofufuza anapeza m’mayiko 21 anapeza kuti m’madera ena pafupifupi akazi 36 pa akazi 100 aliwonse ndiponso pafupifupi amuna 29 pa amuna 100 aliwonse anachitidwapo zachipongwe zinazake zoterezi ali ana. N’zochititsa nthumanzi kuti ambiri mwa anthu amenewa anachitidwa zachipongwezi ndi wachibale.

[Bokosi patsamba 6]

ALI NDI NJIRA ZAWO ZOKOPERA ANA

Nthawi zambiri munthu wogona ana amakhala wochenjera kwambiri moti sachita kugwiririra anawo pogwiritsira ntchito mphamvu. Koma amakonda kuwanyengerera mwapang’onopang’ono. Amatero posankha mwana winawake amene akum’funa, ndipo amakonda ana amene ali osavuta kuwanyengerera, amene amangomvera zilizonse. Kenaka munthuyo amayamba kuchita zinthu zofuna kum’kopa mwanayo. Amayesanso kuchita zinthu zoti makolo a mwanayo azimukhulupirira. Nthawi zambiri anthu ogona ana amakhala akathyali odziwa kunamizira kuti amam’kondadi mwana wanuyo ndiponso kuti amakonda banja lanu.

Patsogolo pake, chidyamakandayo angathe kuyamba kunyengerera mwanayo pang’onopang’ono kuti mpaka adzafike podzamuchita zachipongwezo. Kenaka amayamba kumuchita mwanayo zinthu zinazake zooneka ngati zabwinobwino, monga kusewera naye masewera omagwetsana pansi ndiponso kum’girigisha. Angayambe kumam’patsa mphatso zikuluzikulu n’kuyamba kumakhala naye yekhayekha, popanda anzake, azibale ake ndiponso makolo ake. Kenaka angathe kumuuza mwanayo kuti asunge kachinsinsi kenakake, osauza makolo ake. Kachinsinsiko kangakhale kokhudzana ndi mphatso inayake imene akufuna kum’patsa kapena kukonza zopita naye kwinakwake kokayenda. Amagwiritsira ntchito njira zimenezi pofuna kulambula bwalo. Ndiyeno, munthuyo amayambapo zakezo akaona kuti mwana uja ndiponso makolo ake ayamba kum’khulupirira.

Komabe amayamba mosamala, ndipo sagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu ayi. Popeza kuti nthawi zina ana amafuna kudziwa zinthu zosiyanasiyana zokhudza kugonana, munthuyo angathe kupezerapo mwayi womuuza mwanayo zoti iyeyo azimuphunzitsa zimenezi ndipo angamuuze kuti azisewera masewera enaake odziwa awiri basi. Angathenso kumam’sonyeza mwanayo zithunzi zolaula kuti aziona ngati kuti palibe cholakwika kuchita zimenezo.

Akam’chita mwanayo zachipongwezo, amayesetsa kuti mwanayo asauze zimenezi munthu aliyense. Angatero pogwiritsira ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana, monga kumuopseza kuti asayerekeze kuuza aliyense, komanso kuti akangotero akam’nenera zolakwa zinazake zimene mwanayo anachita pa nthawi ina. Mwinanso angathe kugwiritsa ntchito njira ziwiri zonsezi. Mwachitsanzo, munthuyo angamuuze kuti: “Wolakwa ndi iweyo. Sunandiuze kuti ndisiye.” Iye anganenenso kuti: “Ukangoyerekeza kuuza makolo ako, udziwe kuti akaitana apolisi kuti adzandigwire n’kukanditsekera kundende mpaka kalekale.” Mwinanso angamuuze kuti: “Zimenezi n’zodziwa awirife basi. Ukauza wina aliyense, palibe amene akhulupirire. Komanso samala, chifukwa ndikangomva zoti makolo ako adziwa zimenezi, ndiwachita zoopsa.” Pali njira zambirimbiri zaukathyali zimene achidyamakanda oterewa angagwiritsire ntchito.

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Muzikhala naye mwana wanu pa zochita zake zosiyanasiyana

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Musamachite manyazi kuphunzitsa mwana wanu nkhani zokhudza kugonana

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Phunzitsani mwana wanu kuchita zinthu molimba mtima ngati winawake akufuna kumuchita zachipongwe