Kulankhulana m’Banja ndi Mumpingo
‘Mawu anu akhale m’chisomo, okoleretsa [ndi mchere, “NW”].’—AKOLOSE 4:6.
1. Kodi Adamu ananenanji pamene Mulungu anambweretsera Hava?
“PALIBE munthu amene amaima payekha . . . Munthu aliyense ali mbali ya chitaganya.” Analemba motero munthu wophunzira wa zaka mazana ambiri apitawo. Ponena zimenezo, iye anali kungomveketsa zimene Mlengi ananena ponena za Adamu kuti: “Si kwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha.” Adamu anali ndi mphatso ya mawu ndi chinenero, popeza kuti anatcha maina zinyama zonse. Koma Adamu analibe cholengedwa china chaumunthu choti adzilankhula nacho. Nkosadabwitsa kuti pamene Mulungu anabweretsa Hava wokongolayo kwa iye monga mkazi wake, iye anafuula kuti: ‘Uyu tsopano ndiye fupa la mafupa anga, ndi mnofu wa mnofu wanga.’ Chotero, pamene banja loyamba la anthu linayambika, Adamu anayamba kulankhula ndi munthu mnzake.—Genesis 2:18, 23.
2. Kodi ndi chivulazo chotani chimene chingatulukepo mwakupenyerera wailesi yakanema mosalamulirika?
2 Banja liri malo abwino a kulankhulana. Ndithudi, chipambano chenicheni cha banja chimadalira pa iko. Komabe, kulankhulana kumatenga nthaŵi ndi kuyesayesa. Lerolino, mbala yaikulu koposa yakuba nthaŵi ndi wailesi yakanema. Ikhoza kukhala chiŵiya chovulaza m’njira zosachepera pa ziŵiri. Kumbali ina, ikhoza kukhala yonyengerera kotero kuti ziŵalo zabanja zimakhala zomwerekera ku iyo, kukumatulukapo kusoŵeka kwa kulankhulana. Kumbali ina, wailesi yakanema ingatumikire monga njira yopulumukira pamene pali kusamvana kapena malingaliro olakwiridwa. M’malo mothetsa mavuto, okwatirana ena asankha kuleka kulankhulana ndikupenyerera wailesi yakanema. Chotero TV ingawonjezere kulephera kwa kulankhulana, komwe kukunenedwa kukhala wowononga ukwati wamkulu. Awo amene amalephera kulamulira kupenyerera wailesi yakanema angachite bwino kulingalira zoichotseratu.—Mateyu 5:29; 18:9.
3. Kodi ndimotani mmene ena apindulira ndi kuchepetsa kupenyerera TV?
3 Kwenikwenidi, malipoti osangalatsa alandiridwa onena za madalitso otulukapo pamene kugwiritsira ntchito TV kwachepetsedwa kapena ngakhale kuchotsedwa. Banja lina linalemba kuti: “Timalankhulana mowonjezereka . . . , kufufuza Baibulo mowonjezereka . . . Timaseŵerera pamodzi . . . Mbali zonse za utumiki wathu wakumunda zawonjezeka.” Banja lina linanena motere pambuyo pochotsa TV yawo: “Sitikusunga ndalama zokha [iwo anali ndi sabusikripishoni ya cable TV] koma ndife oyandikana monga banja ndipo tapeza zinthu zambiri zopindulitsa zochita ndi nthaŵi yathu. Sitimasungulumwa konse.”
Kuyang’ana, Kulankhula, ndi Kumvetsera
4. Kodi ndimotani mmene okwatirana angasonyezere chiyamikiro kwa wina ndi mnzake?
4 Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya kulankhulana m’banja. Ina yopanda mawu. Pamene anthu aŵiri angoyang’anana, uli mtundu wa kulankhulana. Kukhalira pamodzi kungapereke lingaliro la kusamalira. Okwatirana ayenera kupeŵa kukhala kutali ndi wina ndi mnzake kwa nyengo yaitali ya nthaŵi kusiyapo kokha ngati pali chifukwa chosapeŵeka. Okwatirana angakulitse chimwemwe mwa wina ndi mnzake mwa kusangalala ndi unansi wathithithi umene ali nawo mkati mwa ukwati. Mwanjira yachikondi ndipo yaulemu imene amachitira kwa wina ndi mnzake, kaya poyera kapena mseri, kusonyeza ulemu woyenera m’kavalidwe ndi khalidwe, iwo amalankhula mwakachetechete chiyamikiro chakuya kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake. Mfumu Solomo wanzeru anafotokoza m’mawu aŵa: ‘Adalitsike kasupe wako; ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula naye.’—Miyambo 5:18.
5, 6. Kodi nchifukwa ninji amuna okwatira ayenera kuzindikira kufunika kwa kulankhula ndi akazi awo?
5 Kulankhulana kumafunanso kukambitsirana, kulankhuzana—kulankhulana wina ndi mnzake, osati kupokoserana. Pamene kuli kwakuti akazi ena amakhoza kufotokoza bwino malingaliro awo kuposa amuna, chimenecho sichodzikhululukira chakuti amuna akhale achete. Amuna Achikristu ayenera kuzindikira kuti kusoŵeka kwa kulankhulana ndivuto lalikulu m’maukwati ambiri, ndipo chotero ayenera kugwira ntchito zolimba kusunga njira zolankhulirana ziri zotseguka. Ndithudi, adzachita zimenezi ngati iwo, limodzi ndi akazi awo, alabadira uphungu wabwino wa mtumwi Paulo wa pa Aefeso 5:25-33. Kuti mwamuna akonde mkazi wake monga thupi lake, ayenera kudera nkhaŵa ndi ubwino wamkaziyo ndi chimwemwe, osati wake wokha. Chotero, kulankhulana kuli kofunika koposa.
6 Mwamuna sayenera kukhala ndi mkhalidwe wakuti mkazi wake adzadziŵa kapena kulota kuti amamuyamikira. Mkaziyo ayenera kutsimikiziridwa za chikondi cha mwamuna wake kwa iye. Mwamuna angasonyeze chiyamikiro chake m’njira zambiri—mwa mawu achikondi chake ndi mphatso zosayembekezeredwa, limodzinso ndikumdziŵitsa nkhani zimene zingamuyambukire. Palinso chitokoso chakusonyeza chiyamikiro kaamba ka zoyesayesa za mkazi wake, kaya zikhale kudzikometsera kwake kwaumwini, ntchito yolimba imene amachitira banja, kapena chichirikizo chake chamtima wonse cha ntchito zauzimu. Ndiponso, kuti mwamuna alabadire uphungu wa mtumwi Petro pa 1 Petro 3:7, ‘kukhala ndi mkazi wake monga mwa chidziŵitso,’ ayenera kukhala ndi chisomo, chomwe chimasonyezedwa mwakulankhula naye nkhani zonse zokhudza aŵiriwo, kumpatsa ulemu monga chotengera chochepa mphamvu.—Miyambo 31:28, 29.
7. Kodi ndi thayo lotani limene mkazi ali nalo lakulankhula ndi mwamuna wake?
7 Mofananamo, kuti mkazi alabadire uphungu wonena za chigonjero wa pa Aefeso 5:22-24, ayenera kudera nkhaŵa ndi kusunga njira zolankhulirana ndi mwamuna wake zotseguka. Afunikira kupatsa mwamuna wake “ulemu waukulu,” ponse paŵiri m’kalankhulidwe kake ndi m’mayendedwe. Sayenera konse kudzichitira zinthu kapena kunyalanyaza zofuna zamwamunayo. (Aefeso 5:33, NW) Nthaŵi zonse, payenera kukhala upo pakati pa iye ndi mwamuna wake.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 15:22.
8. Kuti njira zolankhulirana zikhale zotseguka, kodi akazi ayenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kuchita chiyani?
8 Ndiponso, mkazi ayenera kupeŵa kuvutikira mumtima kusonyeza kudzimverera chisoni. Ngati pali kusamvana, ayenera kufuna nthaŵi yabwino yodzutsa nkhaniyo. Inde, phunzirani kwa Mfumukazi Estere. Iye anali ndi nkhani ya moyo ndi imfa yomwe anafunikira kufotokozera mwamuna wake. Kuchitapo kwake kanthu mofulumira mwanzeru ndi luntha kunapulumutsa Ayuda. Timafunikira kudziŵitsa anzathu amuukwati mwakulankhulana ngati takwiitsidwa. Luntha ndi nthabwala zokhala ndi mantha aumulungu zingathandize kupanga kulankhulana kukhala kosavuta.—Estere 4:15–5:8.
9. Kodi kumvetsera kumachita mbali yanji m’kulankhulana?
9 Chofunika koposa pa kugwiritsira ntchito mawu kuti tisunge njira zolankhulirana zotseguka ndilo thayo la aliyense lakumvetsera ku zimene winayo akunena—ndikupanga kuyesayesa kuzindikira zimene akutanthauza. Kuteroko kumafunikira kupereka chisamaliro kwa wolankhulayo. Simungofunikira kuzindikira malingaliro enieni ofotokozedwa komanso kupereka chisamaliro ku mkhalidwe wa malingaliro wokhala kumbuyo kwa mawu onenedwawo, njira imene chinthu chanenedwera. Kaŵirikaŵiri amuna amalephera pankhaniyi. Akazi angavutike chifukwa chakuti amuna amalephera kumvetsera. Ndipo akazi nawonso afunikira kumvetsera mosamalitsa kuti apeŵe kududukira zigamulo. “Wanzeru amve naonjezere kuphunzira.”—Miyambo 1:5.
Kulankhulana Pakati pa Makolo ndi Ana
10. Kuti achite bwino m’kulankhula ndi ana awo, kodi makolo ayenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kuchita chiyani?
10 Palinso mkhalidwe umene makolo ndi ana awo amakhala ndi vuto la kulankhulana. ‘Kuphunzitsa mwana poyamba njira yake’ kumafunikira kukhazikitsa njira zolankhulirana zotseguka. Kuchita zimenezo kukathandiza kutsimikizira kuti ‘angakhale atakalamba sadzachokamo.’ (Miyambo 22:6) Chenicheni chakuti makolo ena amataya ana awo kudziko chiri nthaŵi zina chogwirizana ndi mpata woletsa kulankhulana womwe umakhalapo m’nthaŵi yaunamwali. Thayo la makolo lakulankhulana ndi ana awo mosalekeza linagogomezeredwa pa Deuteronomo 6:6, 7 motere: ‘Ndipo mawu awa ndikuuzani lero, azikhala pamtima panu; ndipo muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi pouka inu.’ Inde, makolo ayenera kuthera nthaŵi ndi ana awo! Ayenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kudzimana kaamba ka ana awo.
11. Kodi ndizinthu zina zotani zimene makolo ayenera kulankhula ndi ana awo?
11 Makolo, auzeni ana anu kuti Yehova amawakonda ndikuti nanunso mumawakonda. (Miyambo 4:1-4) Aloleni akuwone kufunitsitsa kwanu kudzimana zosangalatsa ndi zokondweretsa kaamba ka ubwino wawo wa maganizo, malingaliro, kuthupi, ndi kukula kwawo kwauzimu. Chofunika pankhaniyi ndi kusonyeza chisomo, ndiko luso la makolo kuwona zinthu mmene ana awo amaziwonera. Mwakusonyeza chikondi chopanda dyera, makolonu mungakulitse chomangira champhamvu cha kugwirizana ndi ana anu ndipo chingawalimbikitse kukhala ndi chidaliro mwa inu m’malo mwa ausinkhu wawo.—Akolose 3:14.
12. Kodi nchifukwa ninji achichepere ayenera kulankhula momasuka ndi makolo awo?
12 Kumbali ina, achicheperenu, muli ndi thayo lakulankhulana ndi makolo anu. Kuyamikira zomwe akuchitirani kudzakuthandizani kuwadalira. Mufunikira chithandizo ndi chichirikizo chawo, ndipo kukakhala kosavuta kwa iwo kukupatsani icho ngati mulankhula nawo momasuka. Kodi nkupangiranji ausinkhu wanu kukhala magwero a chitsogozo? Mwachiwonekere iwo akuchitirani zochepa kwenikweni poyerekezera ndi makolo anu. Iwo alibe kuzoloŵera kokulira m’moyo kuposa inu, ndipo ngati sali mbali ya mpingo, iwo sali konse okondweretsedwa ndi ubwino wanu wokhalitsa.
Kulankhulana Mumpingo
13, 14. Kodi ndimalamulo amakhalidwe abwino a Baibulo ati amene amalimbikitsa kulankhulana pakati pa Akristu?
13 Chitokoso china ndicho kusunga njira zolankhulirana zotseguka ndi abale anu mumpingo. Tikuchenjezedwa mwamphamvu kusaleka “kusonkhana kwathu pamodzi.” Kodi timasonkhaniranji? ‘Kuti tifulumizane ku chikondano ndi ntchito zabwino.’ Izi zimafunikira kulankhulana. (Ahebri 10:24, 25) Ngati munthu wina akulakwirani, chimenecho sichifukwa cholekera kusonkhana. Sungani njira zolankhulirana zotseguka mwakutsatira uphungu wonse umene Yesu anatipatsa wolembedwa pa Mateyu 18:15-17. Lankhulani ndi munthu amene mukulingalira kuti wakukwiyitsani.
14 Pamene muli ndi zovuta ndi mmodzi wa abale anu, labadirani uphungu Wamalemba wonga uja wopezeka pa Akolose 3:13 wakuti: ‘Kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake; monganso [Yehova, NW] anakhululukira inu, teroni inunso.’ Zimenezo zimatanthauza kulankhulana osati kukana kulankhula ndi munthu. Ndipo ngati mwawona kuti winawake akuwonekera kukhala wopanda ubwenzi kwa inu, labadirani uphungu wopezeka pa Mateyu 5:23, 24. Lankhulanani, ndipo yesetsani kupanga mtendere ndi mbale wanu. Izi zimafunikira chikondi ndi kudzichepetsa kumbali yanu, koma ndithayo lanu ndi mbale wanu kulabadira uphungu wa Yesu.
Uphungu ndi Chilimbikitso
15. Kodi nchifukwa ninji Akristu sayenera kulephera kupereka uphungu pamene ali oyenera kutero?
15 Thayo lakulankhulana limaphatikizaponso kulabadira uphungu wa Paulo wa pa Agalatiya 6:1 wakuti: ‘Abale, ngatinso munthu agwidwa nako kulakwa kwakuti, inu auzimu, mubweze wotereyo mu mzimu wa chifatso; ndi kudzipenyerera wekha, ungayesedwe nawenso.’ Kudekha kuyenera kutipangitsa kuvomereza ngati munthu wina atisonyeza cholakwa chimene tachipanga m’kalankhulidwe kathu kapena kayendedwe. Kwenikwenidi, tonsefe tiyenera kukhala ndi mkhalidwe umene wamasalmo Davide anali nawo pamene analemba kuti: ‘Akandipanda munthu wolungama ndidzati nchifundo: Akandidzudzula, ndidzakuyesa mafuta a pamutu; mutu wanga usakane.’ (Salmo 141:5) Makamaka akulu ayenera kukhala zitsanzo zapadera za kudzichepetsa, osaumirira pa lingaliro laumwini koma kukhala okonzekera kulandira chiwongolero, akumakumbukira kuti ‘kulasa kwa bwenzi kuli kokhulupirika.’—Miyambo 27:6.
16. Kodi ndikulankhulana kwamtundu wanji kumene olankhula achichepere ayenera kukulandira?
16 Iri njira yanzeru ndi kudekha kuti achichepere apemphe uphungu ndi chitsogozo kwa Akristu achikulire, amene angaperekedi uphungu womangirira. Ngakhale akulu angapindule mwanjirayi. Mwachitsanzo, mkulu wina pokamba nkhani ananena kuti madalitso otchulidwa pa Chibvumbulutso 7:16, 17, onena za kusamvanso njala ndi ludzu, anali zinthu zimene nkhosa zina zingayembekezere kudzalandira m’dziko latsopano. Komabe, kwasonyezedwa kuti lemba limeneli choyambirira limasonya ku nthaŵi ino. (Onani Revelation—Its Grand Climax At Hand!, masamba 126-8.) Mkulu wina yemwe anali m’gulu analingalira kuti ayenera kudziŵitsa wolankhulayo nkhaniyo, koma asanapeze mwaŵi wochita zimenezo, wolankhula mwiniyo anatumiza foni nafunsa malingaliro alionse akuwongolera nkhani yake. Inde, tiyeni tikupange kukhala kosavuta kwa awo amene angafune kutithandiza mwakufotokoza chikhumbo chathu chakufuna uphungu. Tiyeni tisakhale amtima wapachala kapena okwiya msanga.
17. Kodi ndimotani mmene kulankhulana kungamangirire abale athu?
17 Mfumu Solomo anafotokoza lamulo lamakhalidwe abwino lomwe lingagwiritsiridwe ntchito m’kukambitsirana kwathu. Iye anati: ‘Oyenera kulandira zabwino usawamane; pokhoza dzanja lako kuwachitira zabwino.’ (Miyambo 3:27) Tiri ndi mangawa a chikondi kwa abale athu. Paulo anati: ‘Musakhale ndi mangawa kwa munthu aliyense, koma kukondana ndiko; pakuti iye amene akondana ndi mnzake wakwanitsa lamulo.’ (Aroma 13:8) Chotero khalani wooloŵa manja m’mawu anu achilimbikitso. Kodi mtumiki wotumikira wachichepere akupereka nkhani yake yapoyera yoyamba? Muyamikireni. Kodi mlongo anayesa zolimba kapena wachita bwino kwambiri gawo lake m’Sukulu Yautumiki Wateokratiki? Muuzeni mmene munasangalalira ndi zoyesayesa zake. Kwakukulukulu, abale ndi alongo athu akukalamira kuchita zimene angathe ndipo adzalimbikitsidwa ndi mawu achiyamikiro achikondi.
18. Pamene kudzidalira kopambanitsa kwasonyezedwa, kodi kukakhala kokoma mtima kuchita chiyani?
18 Mosiyana, wolankhula wachichepere angakhale ndi luso lokulira, koma chifukwa chakuti ngwamng’ono, angasonyeze kudzidalira kopambanitsa. Kodi ndikulankhulana kotani kumene kukafunikira panopa? Kodi sikukakhala kokoma mtima ngati mkulu wofikapo akamuyamikira kaamba ka mfundo zabwino zirizonse m’nkhani yake, komano panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kupereka njira zimene angakulitsire kudekha mtsogolo? Kulankhulana koteroko kukasonyeza chikondi cha pa abale ndi kuthandiza achichepere kuchotsa zikhoterero zoipa pachiyambi penipeni, zisanazike mizu.
19. Kodi nchifukwa ninji akulu ndi mitu yamabanja ayenera kukhala olankhula?
19 Akulu amalankhula wina ndi mnzake ndiponso mumpingo ponena za zinthu zopindulitsa—ndithudi, akumapeŵa kuulula nkhani zachinsinsi, monga ngati nkhani zachiweruzo. Komabe, kukhala wachinsinsi mopambanitsa kungatulukepo kusakhulupiriridwa ndi kugwiritsa mwala ndipo kungavulaze mzimu waubwenzi mumpingo—kapena m’banja. Mwachitsanzo, aliyense amasangalala kumva lipoti lolimbikitsa. Monga momwedi mtumwi Paulo analakalakira kufotokoza mphatso zauzimu, momwemonso akulu ayenera kukhala odera nkhaŵa kupereka chidziŵitso chauzimu kwa ena.—Miyambo 15:30; 25:25; Aroma 1:11, 12.
20. Kodi nkhani yotsatira idzafotokoza mbali iti ya kulankhulana?
20 Inde, kulankhulana kuli kofunika ponse paŵiri mumpingo Wachikristu ndi m’banja Lachikristu. Ndiponso, kuli kofunika koposa m’mbali ina. Itiyo? Muuminisitala Wachikristu. M’nkhani yotsatira, tidzafotokoza njira zowongolera maluso athu akulankhulana m’ntchito yofunika koposa imeneyi.
Kodi Mungayankhe Motani?
◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene chopinga cha nthaŵi zonse cha kulankhulana kwa banja chingalakidwire?
◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene amuna ndi akazi angafikire chitokoso cha kulankhulana?
◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene makolo ndi ana angapeŵere mpata wa mbadwo?
◻ Kodi ndimotani mmene kulankhulana m’mipingo ndi m’mabanja kungakhalire komangirira?
[Chithunzi patsamba 23]
Kulankhulana kwabwino kumapititsa patsogolo ubwino wa banja ndi chimwemwe