Mukhoza Kulaka Mavuto Owononga Banja

 1. Kodi ndi mavuto obisika otani amene ali m’mabanja ena?

GALIMOTO lakale langotsukidwa kumene ndi kupukutidwa bwino ndi mafuta. Kwa anthu odutsa m’njira likuoneka lonyezimira, monga latsopano. Koma mkati mwake, dzimbiri likudya galimotolo. Chimodzimodzi ndi mabanja ena. Ngakhale kuti maonekedwe akunja akusonyeza kuti zonse zili bwino, nkhope zomwetulirazo zimabisa mantha ndi zopweteka. Mkati mwake mikhalidwe yonga dzimbiri ilikudya mtendere wa banja. Mavuto aŵiri amene angachititse zimenezi ndiwo uchidakwa ndi chiwawa.

 2. (a) Kodi lingaliro la Baibulo nlotani ponena za kumwa moŵa? (b) Kodi uchidakwa nchiyani?

² Baibulo silimaletsa kumwa moŵa koyenera, koma limaletsa kuledzera. (Miyambo 23:20, 21; 1 Akorinto 6:9, 10; 1 Timoteo 5:23; Tito 2:2, 3) Komabe, uchidakwa umaposa pakuledzera chabe; ndiwo kupereka maganizo onse ku moŵa ndi kulephera kulamulira kamwedwe. Zidakwa zingakhale achikulire. Koma tsoka lake nlakuti zingakhalenso achichepere.

3, 4. Longosolani mmene uchidakwa umavutitsira mnzake wa muukwati wa chidakwayo ndi ana.

³ Baibulo linasonyeza kalekale kuti kumwetsa moŵa kungasokoneze mtendere wa banja. (Deuteronomo 21:18-21) Ziyambukiro zowononga za uchidakwa zimakhudza banja lonse. Mnzake wa muukwati angaloŵe ntchito ya kuyesayesa kuletsa chidakwayo kumwa kapena kuyesa kuzoloŵerana ndi machitidwe ake osayembekezereka. Amayesa kubisa moŵa, kuutaya, kubisa ndalama zake, ndi kuchonderera chidakwayo kuti asonyeze chikondi pa banja, pa moyo wake, ngakhale pa Mulungu—koma iye amangopitiriza kumwa. Pamene zoyesayesa zake za kuchepetsa kamwedwe ka mnzake zilephera nthaŵi zonse, amalefulidwa ndi kudziona kukhala wolephera. Angayambe kuvutika ndi mantha, mkwiyo, liwongo, kusaona tulo, nkhaŵa, ndi kutaya ulemu waumwini.

⁴ Ananso amakhudzidwa ndi ziyambukiro za uchidakwa wa kholo. Ena amavulazidwa mwakuthupi. Ena amachitidwa nkhanza ya kugonedwa. Angafike ngakhale pakudziona kukhala ndi mlandu wa kuchititsa kholo kukhala chidakwa. Kaŵirikaŵiri kukhulupirira kwawo anthu ena kumawonongedwa ndi mkhalidwe wosayenera wa chidakwa. Chifukwa chakuti satha kulankhula momasuka zimene zikuchitika panyumba, anawo angaphunzire kupondereza malingaliro awo, zimene kaŵirikaŵiri zimawawononga. (Miyambo 17:22) Ana otero angapitirize ndi mkhalidwe wakusadzidalira umenewu kapena kusadzilemekeza mpaka ku uchikulire.

 5. Kodi uchidakwa ungalamuliridwe motani, ndipo nchifukwa ninji zimenezi zili zovuta?

⁵ Ngakhale kuti akatswiri ambiri ndi mabuku amanena kuti uchidakwa sungachiritsidwe, ochuluka amavomereza kuti kuchira pamlingo winawake nkotheka ndi programu ya kusala kumwa kotheratu. (Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 5:29.) Komabe, nkovuta kuchititsa chidakwa kuti avomere kulandira chithandizo, popeza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri amakana kuti alibe vuto. Komabe, pamene ena m’banja ayesayesa kuchitapo kanthu povutitsidwa ndi uchidakwawo, chidakwayo angayambe kuzindikira kuti ali ndi vuto. Dokotala wina wodziŵa kwambiri kuthandiza zidakwa ndi mabanja awo anati: “Ndiganiza kuti chinthu chofunika koposa nchakuti banjalo lingopitiriza ndi moyo wawo wa nthaŵi zonse ndi wokhutiritsa. Mpamene chidakwayo amaona kusiyana kwakukulu kwa moyo wake ndi wa ena m’banja.”

 6. Kodi uphungu wabwino koposa wothandiza mabanja amene ali ndi chidakwa umapezeka kuti?

⁶ Ngati m’banja mwanu muli ndi chidakwa, uphungu wouziridwa wa Baibulo ungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi moyo wabwino wothekera. (Yesaya 48:17; 2 Timoteo 3:16, 17) Talingalirani mapulinsipulo ena amene athandiza mabanja ambiri kuchita mwachipambano ndi uchidakwa.

 7. Ngati wina m’banja ndi chidakwa, kodi umakhala mlandu wa yani?

⁷ Lekani kudziveka mlandu wonsewo. Baibulo limati: “Yense adzasenza katundu wake wa iye mwini,” ndi kuti, “aliyense wa ife adzadziŵerengera mlandu wake kwa Mulungu.” (Agalatiya 6:5; Aroma 14:12) Chidakwayo angayese kusonyeza kuti enawo m’banja ndiwo ochititsa. Mwachitsanzo, iye anganene kuti: “Mukanandisamalira bwino, bwenzi sindikumwa.” Ngati ena aoneka kuti akuvomerezana naye, amamulimbikitsa kupitiriza kumwa kwakeko. Koma ngakhale ngati tivutitsidwa ndi mikhalidwe kapena anthu ena, tonsefe—kuphatikizapo zidakwa—timakhala ndi thayo la zimene tichita.—Yerekezerani ndi Afilipi 2:12.

 8. Kodi ndi njira zina ziti zimene chidakwa angathandizidwe nazo kuyang’anizana ndi zotulukapo za vuto lake?

⁸ Musakhale ndi mtima wofuna kumachinjiriza chidakwayo pa zotulukapo zonse za kumwa kwake. Mwambi wa Baibulo wonena za munthu wokwiya ungagwirenso ntchito kwa chidakwa: “Ukampulumutsa udzateronso.” (Miyambo 19:19) Msiyeni chidakwayo akumane ndi zotulukapo za kumwa kwake. Mlekeni ayeretse yekha zimene aipitsa kapena aimbe yekha foni kuntchito mmaŵa mwake pambuyo pa kuledzera dzulo lake.

9, 10. Kodi nchifukwa ninji mabanja okhala ndi chidakwa ayenera kulandira thandizo, ndipo ndi thandizo la yani limene ayenera kufuna makamaka?

⁹ Landirani thandizo la ena. Miyambo 17:17 imati: “Bwenzi limakonda nthaŵi zonse; ndipo mbale anabadwira kuti akuthandize pooneka tsoka.” Pamene muli ndi chidakwa m’banja, muli ndi tsoka. Mufunikira thandizo. Musazengereze kudalira pa chichirikizo cha ‘mabwenzi enieni.’ (Miyambo 18:24, NW) Kukambitsirana ndi ena amene amamvetsetsa vutolo kapena amene akumanapo ndi mkhalidwe umodzimodzi kungakupatseni malingaliro othandiza pa zimene mungachite ndi zimene simuyenera kuchita. Koma khalani wolinganiza bwino zinthu. Lankhulani ndi awo amene mumakhulupirira, aja amene adzasunga ‘chinsinsi’ chanu.—Miyambo 11:13.

¹⁰ Phunzirani kudalira akulu achikristu. Akulu mumpingo wachikristu angakhale othandiza kwambiri. Amuna okhwima ameneŵa anaphunzira Mawu a Mulungu ndipo ali ndi chidziŵitso cha kugwiritsira ntchito mapulinsipulo ake. Iwo angakhaledi “monga pobisalira mphepo, ndi pousira chimphepo; monga mitsinje yamadzi m’malo ouma, monga mthunzi wa thanthwe lalikulu m’dziko lotopetsa.” (Yesaya 32:2) Akulu achikristu samangotetezera mpingo wonse ku zivulazo komanso amatonthoza, kulimbikitsa, ndi kusamalira mmodzi ndi mmodzi amene ali ndi mavuto. Gwiritsirani ntchito mokwanira mwaŵi wa chithandizo chawo.

11, 12. Kodi ndani amene amapereka chithandizo chachikulu koposa ku mabanja okhala ndi chidakwa, ndipo kodi chichirikizo chimenecho chimaperekedwa motani?

¹¹ Koposa zonse, pezani nyonga ya kwa Yehova. Baibulo limatitsimikizira mwachikondi kuti: “Yehova ali pafupi ndi iwo a mtima wosweka, apulumutsa iwo a mzimu wolapadi.” (Salmo 34:18) Ngati mtima wanu uli wosweka kapena ukuvutika chifukwa cha vuto la kukhala ndi chidakwa m’banja, dziŵani kuti “Yehova ali pafupi.” Amadziŵa vuto la mkhalidwe wa banja lanu.—1 Petro 5:6, 7.

¹² Kukhulupirira zimene Yehova amanena m’Mawu ake kungakuthandizeni kulimbana ndi nkhaŵa. (Salmo 130:3, 4; Mateyu 6:25-34; 1 Yohane 3:19, 20) Kuphunzira Mawu a Mulungu ndi kutsatira mapulinsipulo ake kumakukhozetsani kulandira chithandizo cha mzimu woyera wa Mulungu, umene ungakupatseni “mphamvu yoposa yachibadwa” yokukhozetsani kupirira tsiku ndi tsiku.—2 Akorinto 4:7, NW.a

13. Kodi vuto lachiŵiri limene limavulaza mabanja ambiri ndi lotani?

¹³ Kumwetsa moŵa kungachititse vuto lina limene limawononga mabanja ambiri—chiwawa cha m’banja.

14. Kodi chiwawa cha m’banja chinayamba liti, ndipo mkhalidwewo uli wotani lero?

¹⁴ Mchitidwe woyamba wachiwawa m’mbiri ya munthu unali chiwawa cha m’banja chimene chinachitika pakati pa abale aŵiri, Kaini ndi Abele. (Genesis 4:8) Chiyambire pamenepo, anthu aona mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chiwawa cha m’banja. Pali amuna amene amamenya akazi awo, akazi amene amaukira amuna awo, makolo amene amamenya ana awo aang’ono mwankhanza, ndi ana achikulire amene amazunza makolo awo okalamba.

15. Kodi ena pabanja amakhudzidwa motani m’maganizo ndi chiwawa cha m’banja?

¹⁵ Kuwononga kumene chiwawa cha m’banja chimachita kumaposa zipsera zakuthupi. Mkazi wina womenyedwa anati: “Umamva liwongo ndi manyazi zimene umalimbana nazo. Nthaŵi zambiri mmaŵa, umangofuna kugonabe, ukumaganizira kuti zikanangokhala loto chabe loipa.” Ana amene amaona kapena kuchitidwa chiwawa cha m’banja iwonso angakhale achiwawa atakula ndi kukhala ndi mabanja awo.

16, 17. Kodi nkhanza ya mawu nchiyani, ndipo imakhudza motani ena pabanja?

¹⁶ Chiwawa cha m’banja sindicho kumenya kokha. Kaŵirikaŵiri pamakhala kunyoza. Miyambo 12:18 imati: “Alipo wonena mwansontho ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga.” “Kupyoza” kumeneku kwa chiwawa cha m’banja kumaphatikizapo kutchana maina onyoza ndi kuzazirana, limodzinso ndi kusuliza nthaŵi zonse, kutukwana, ndi ziwopsezo za kumenya. Zivulazo za chiwawa cha mawu opweteka sizimaoneka ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri sizimadziŵika kwa ena.

¹⁷ Chochititsa chisoni makamaka ndicho kuzunza mwana m’maganizo—kumsuliza nthaŵi zonse ndi kuderera zochita zake, nzeru zake, kapena mkhalidwe wake monga munthu. Nkhanza ya mawu imeneyi imawononga mzimu wa mwana. Zoona, ana onse amafunikira chilango. Koma Baibulo limalangiza atate kuti: “Musaputa ana anu, kuti angataye mtima.”—Akolose 3:21.

18. Kodi chiwawa cha m’banja chimayambira kuti, ndipo Baibulo limasonyeza chiyani kukhala njira yochipeŵera?

¹⁸ Chiwawa cha m’banja chimayambira mumtima ndi m’maganizo; kachitidwe kathu ka zinthu kamayamba ndi kalingaliridwe kathu. (Yakobo 1:14, 15) Kuti aleke chiwawa, wochita nkhanzayo afunikira kusintha kalingaliridwe kake. (Aroma 12:2) Kodi zimenezo nzotheka? Inde. Mawu a Mulungu ali ndi mphamvu yosintha anthu. Akhoza kuchotsa ngakhale malingaliro owononga ‘amphamvu.’ (2 Akorinto 10:4; Ahebri 4:12) Chidziŵitso cholongosoka cha Baibulo chikhoza kusintha anthu kwambiri kwakuti amanenedwa kuti avala umunthu watsopano.—Aefeso 4:22-24; Akolose 3:8-10.

19. Kodi Mkristu ayenera kumuona motani mnzake wa muukwati ndipo ayenera kuchita naye motani?

¹⁹ Mmene wa muukwati ayenera kuonera mnzake. Mawu a Mulungu amati: “Amuna azikonda akazi awo a iwo okha monga ngati matupi a iwo okha. Wokonda mkazi wa iye yekha, adzikonda yekha.” (Aefeso 5:28) Baibulo limanenanso kuti mwamuna ayenera kupatsa mkazi wake “ulemu, monga chotengera chochepa mphamvu.” (1 Petro 3:7) Akazi akulangizidwa kuti “akonde amuna awo,” ndi ‘kuwawopa.’ (Tito 2:4; Aefeso 5:33) Ndithudi, palibe mwamuna wowopa Mulungu amene anganene moona mtima kuti amalemekezadi mkazi wake ngati amammenya kapena kummenya ndi mawu. Ndipo kulibe mkazi amene amazazira mwamuna wake, kulankhula naye monyoza, kapena kumdzudzula nthaŵi zonse amene anganene kuti amamkondadi ndi kumlemekeza.

20. Kodi makolo ali ndi thayo kwa yani kaamba ka ana awo, ndipo nchifukwa ninji makolo sayenera kuyembekezera zopambanitsa kwa ana awo?

²⁰ Mmene tiyenera kuonera ana. Ana amafunikira kukondedwa ndi kusamaliridwa ndi makolo awo. Mawu a Mulungu amatcha ana “cholandira cha kwa Yehova” ndi “mphotho.” (Salmo 127:3) Makolo ali ndi thayo pamaso pa Yehova la kusamalira cholandira chimenecho. Baibulo limanena za “chibwana” ndi “utsiru” za paubwana. (1 Akorinto 13:11; Miyambo 22:15) Makolo sayenera kudabwa ngati aona utsiru mwa ana awo. Achichepere sali achikulire. Makolo sayenera kufuna zopambana pa msinkhu wa mwana, zosiyana ndi makulidwe ake, ndi mphamvu yake.—Onani Genesis 33:12-14.

21. Kodi njira yaumulungu yoonera makolo okalamba ndi yochitira nawo ndi yotani?

²¹ Mmene tiyenera kuonera makolo okalamba. Levitiko 19:32 amati: “Pali aimvi uziwagwadira, nuchitire ulemu munthu wokalamba.” Choncho Chilamulo cha Mulungu chinalimbikitsa kupereka ulemu ndi kuwopa okalamba. Zimenezi zingakhale zovuta pamene kholo lokalamba lioneka lofuna zopambanitsa kapena kudwala ndipo mwinamwake silimayenda msanga kapena kuganiza mwamsanga. Chikhalirechobe, ana akukumbutsidwa “kubwezera akuwabala.” (1 Timoteo 5:4) Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuwachitira ulemu ndi kuwawopa, mwinamwake ngakhale kuwapatsa thandizo la ndalama. Kuzunza makolo okalamba mwa njira iliyonse kumawombana kotheratu ndi njira imene Baibulo limatiuza kuchitiramo.

22. Kodi mkhalidwe waukulu wolakira chiwawa cha m’banja ndi wotani, ndipo kodi tingausonyeze motani?

²² Kulitsani kudziletsa. Miyambo 29:11 imati: “Chitsiru chivumbulutsa mkwiyo wake wonse; koma wanzeru auletsa nautontholetsa.” Kodi mungalamulire motani mkwiyo wanu? M’malo mwa kulola mkwiyo kukula mwa inu, chitanipo kanthu mwamsanga kuti muthetse vuto lobukalo. (Aefeso 4:26, 27) Chokani pamalopo ngati muona kuti mukutaya mtima. Pemphererani mzimu woyera wa Mulungu kuti ukupatseni kudziletsa. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Kukawongola miyendo kapena kuchita maseŵero olimbitsa thupi kungakuthandizeni kulamulira mtima wanu. (Miyambo 17:14, 27) Yesayesani ‘kusakwiya msanga.’—Miyambo 14:29.

23. Kodi chingachitike nchiyani ngati wina mumpingo wachikristu achita chiwawa cha mkwiyo mobwerezabwereza ndi mosalapa, mwinamwake kuphatikizapo nkhanza yakumenya a pabanja lake?

²³ Pantchito zimene zimanyansa Mulungu, Baibulo limaphatikizapo “madano, ndewu, . . . zopsa mtima” ndipo limanena kuti ‘akuchita zotero sadzaloŵa Ufumu wa Mulungu.’ (Agalatiya 5:19-21) Chifukwa chake, munthu aliyense amene adzitcha Mkristu amene mobwerezabwereza ndipo mosalapa amachita chiwawa cha kupsa mtima, mwinamwake kuphatikizapo nkhanza ya kumenya mkazi kapena ana, akhoza kuchotsedwa mumpingo wachikristu. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Yohane 9, 10.) Mwa njira imeneyi mpingo umasungidwa woyera wopanda anthu ankhanza.—1 Akorinto 5:6, 7; Agalatiya 5:9.

24. (a) Kodi a muukwati ochitidwa nkhanza angasankhe kuchita motani? (b) Kodi mabanja ndi akulu odera nkhaŵa angalimbikitse motani wa muukwati wochitidwa nkhanza, koma kodi nchiyani chimene sayenera kuchita?

²⁴ Bwanji za Akristu amene pakali pano akumenyedwa ndi mnzawo wa muukwati wankhanza amene sakusonyeza zizindikiro za kusintha? Ena asankha kukhala ndi mnzawo wankhanzayo pa zifukwa zina. Ena asankha kuchoka, poona kuti thanzi lawo lakuthupi, la maganizo, ndi lauzimu—mwinamwake moyo weniweniwo—zili pangozi. Zimene munthu wochitidwa chiwawa m’banja asankha kuchita m’mikhalidwe imeneyi ndi chosankha chake pamaso pa Yehova. (1 Akorinto 7:10, 11) Mabwenzi achifundo, achibale, kapena akulu achikristu angafune kupereka thandizo ndi uphungu, koma sayenera kuumiriza wochitidwa nkhanzayo kutsatira njira yakutiyakuti. Ayenera kupanga yekha chosankha.—Aroma 14:4; Agalatiya 6:5.

25. Kodi chifuno cha Yehova pa banja nchotani?

²⁵ Pamene Yehova anakwatitsa Adamu ndi Hava, sanali ndi cholinga chakuti mabanja akhale ndi mavuto owononga onga uchidakwa kapena chiwawa. (Aefeso 3:14, 15) Banja linayenera kukhala lofunga ndi chikondi ndi mtendere ndipo zosoŵa za aliyense za maganizo, malingaliro, ndi zauzimu zinayenera kusamaliridwa. Koma pamene uchimo unafika, moyo wa banja unawonongeka mwamsanga.—Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 8:9.

26. Kodi aja oyesa kukhala ndi moyo motsatira zofuna za Yehova ali ndi mtsogolo motani?

²⁶ Mwaŵi wake ngwakuti, Yehova sanataye chifuno chake cha banja. Iye walonjeza kubweretsa dziko latsopano lamtendere mmene anthu “adzakhala osatekeseka, opanda wina wakuwawopsa.” (Ezekieli 34:28) Panthaŵiyo, uchidakwa, chiwawa cha m’banja, ndi mavuto onse amene amawononga mabanja lero adzakhala zinthu zakale. Anthu adzamwetulira, osati kuti abise mkwiyo ndi kupweteka, koma chifukwa chakuti ‘akukondwera nawo mtendere wochuluka.’—Salmo 37:11.