Mmene Mungalimbitsire Zomangira Zaukwati

“KODI nkuloledwa kuti munthu achotse mkazi wake pa chifukwa chilichonse?” anafunsa motero Afarisi amene anali kuyesayesa kukola Mphunzitsi Wamkulu, Yesu Kristu. Iye anawayankha mwakunena za ukwati woyamba wa anthu ndi kukhazikitsa muyezo pankhaniyo mwakuti: “Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”

Afarisiwo anatsutsa kuti Mose anapereka mwaŵi wa chisudzulo mwakuvomereza kupereka “kalata wa chilekaniro.” Yesu anawayankha kuti: “Chifukwa cha kuuma mtima kwanu, Mose anakulolezani kuchotsa akazi anu; koma pachiyambi sikunakhala chomwecho. Ndipo ine ndinena kwa inu, Amene aliyense akachotsa mkazi wake, kosakhala chifukwa cha chigololo, nadzakwatira wina, achita chigololo.”​—Mateyu 19:3-9.

Pachiyambi, ukwati unayenera kukhala chomangira chachikhalire. Ngakhale imfa sikanalekanitsa okwatirana oyambirira, popeza kuti analengedwa monga anthu angwiro okhala ndi chiyembekezo cha moyo wosatha. Koma iwo anachimwa. Kuchimwa kwawo kunawononga ukwati wa anthu. Mdani imfa anayamba kulekanitsa okwatirana. Mulungu amaona imfa kukhala mapeto a ukwati, monga momwe timaŵerengera m’Baibulo kuti: “Mkazi amangika pokhala mwamuna wake ali ndi moyo; koma atamwalira mwamuna ali womasuka, kuti akwatiwe naye amene afuna, koma mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akorinto 7:39) Zimenezi nzosiyana kotheratu ndi malingaliro achipembedzo onga suttee, maferano pamene mkazi amaumirizidwa kapena kukakamizidwa kudzitentha pamene mwamuna wake wamwalira ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti chomangira chaukwati chimapitirizabe m’moyo wa pambuyo pa imfa.

Makonzedwe a Chilamulo cha Mose

Pofika nthaŵi imene Chilamulo cha Mose chinaperekedwa, maunansi aukwati anali atanyonyotsoka kufika pamlingo wakuti chifukwa cha kuuma mtima kwa Aisrayeli, Yehova anapanga makonzedwe a chisudzulo. (Deuteronomo 24:1) Sichinali chifuno cha Mulungu kuti Aisrayeli agwiritsire ntchito molakwa lamuloli kusudzula akazi awo chifukwa cha zolakwa zazing’ono, monga momwe zikuonekera m’lamulo lake lakuti anayenera kukonda anzawo monga iwo eni. (Levitiko 19:18) Ngakhale kupereka kalata ya chilekaniro kunali ngati choletsa chifukwa chakuti, monga mbali ya kulemba kalatayo, mwamuna amene akufuna kusudzulanayo anayenera kufikira amuna ovomerezedwa mwalamulo, amene akanayesayesa kumchititsa kugwirizananso. Ayi, Mulungu sanapereke lamuloli kukhazikitsa kuyenera kulikonse kwakusudzula mkazi “pa chifukwa chilichonse.”​—Mateyu 19:3.

Komabe, m’kupita kwanthaŵi Aisrayeli ananyalanyaza chifuno chenicheni cha lamulolo ndipo analakwira mbali imeneyi ya lamulo ndi kusudzulana pa chifukwa chilichonse chimene chinawakomera. Pofika m’zaka za zana lachisanu B.C.E., anali kuchita monyenga ndi akazi a ubwana wawo, akumawasudzula pa chifukwa chilichonse. Yehova anawauza mwamphamvu kuti iye anadana ndi kusudzulana. (Malaki 2:14-16) Yesu anali ndi zimenezi m’maganizo pamene anatsutsa chisudzulo chimene Aisrayeli anali kuchita m’tsiku lake.

Chifukwa Chololedwa Chokha cha Chisudzulo

Komabe, Yesu anatchula chifukwa chimodzi chololedwa cha chisudzulo: chigololo. (Mateyu 5:31, 32; 19:8, 9) Liwu limene panopo latembenuzidwa kuti “chigololo” limaphatikizapo mitundu yonse ya kugonana koipa kunja kwa ukwati Wamalemba, kaya kukhale ndi munthu wofanana kapena wosiyana naye chiŵalo kapena ndi nyama.

Ngakhale zinali choncho, Yesu sanali kuvomereza chisudzulo kwa okwatirana nawo osakhulupirika. Zili kwa munthu wopanda liŵongoyo kupenda mikhalidwe yoloŵetsedwamo ndi kusankha ngati akufuna chisudzulo. Akazi ofuna kusudzula pa chifukwa cha m’Malemba chimenechi angalingalirenso ndemanga ya Mulungu pamene anapereka chiweruzo kwa mkazi woyamba chifukwa cha tchimo lake. Kuwonjezera pa chilango cha imfa, Mulungu anauza Hava mwachindunji kuti: “Udzakhumba mwamuna wako, ndipo iye adzakulamulira iwe.” (Genesis 3:16) Buku la Commentary on the Old Testament, lolembedwa ndi C. F. Keil ndi F. Delitzsch, limalongosola “kukhumba” kumeneku kukhala “chikhumbo chokhala ngati nthenda.” Zowona, kukhumba kumeneku sikuli kwamphamvu motero mwa mkazi aliyense, koma pamene mkazi wopanda liŵongo alingalira za chisudzulo, angachite mwanzeru kulingalira zosoŵa zamaganizo zimene akazi analandira mwacholoŵa kuchokera kwa Hava. Komabe, popeza kuti kugonana kwa kunja kwa ukwati kwa waliŵongoyo kungachititse wopanda liŵongoyo kuyambukiridwa ndi matenda opatsirana mwakugonana, kuphatikizapo AIDS, ena asankha kusudzulana monga momwe Yesu analongosolera.

Chiyambi cha Mavuto a Banja

Kuuma mtima kwa anthu kunayamba ndi tchimo limene anthu okwatirana oyambirira anachimwira Mulungu. (Aroma 5:12) Mbewu za ndewu m’banja zinafesedwa pamene anthu aŵiri oyambawo anachimwira Atate wawo wakumwamba. Kodi zinali choncho motani? Pamene mkazi woyamba, Hava, anayesedwa ndi njoka kuti adye chipatso cha mtengo woletsedwa, iye anagonjera nadya chipatsocho. Kunali kokha pambuyo popanga chosankha chapadera chimenecho pamene analankhula ndi mwamuna wake ponena za zimene njokayo inamuuza. (Genesis 3:6) Inde, iye anachitapo kanthu osafunsa mwamuna wake. Chimenechi ndicho chitsanzo choyambirira cha mavuto amene akuyang’anizana ndi mabanja ambiri lerolino​—kusoŵeka kwa kulankhulana kofikana pamtima.

Pambuyo pake, pamene anayang’anizana ndi zotulukapo za tchimo lawo, onse aŵiri Adamu ndi Hava anatembenukira ku machenjera ofananawo amene okwatirana ambiri amagwiritsira ntchito lerolino pamene akumana ndi mavuto, ndiwo, kuimba mlandu ena. Mwamuna woyamba, Adamu, anaimba mlandu mkazi wake ndi Yehova yemwe kaamba ka zimene anachita akumati: “Mkazi amene munandipatsa ine kuti akhale ndi ine, ameneyo anandipatsa ine za mtengo, ndipo ndinadya.” Nayenso mkazi anati: “Njoka inandinyenga ine, ndipo ndinadya.”​—Genesis 3:12, 13.

Chiweruzo cha Yehova pa Adamu ndi Hava chinasonyezeratu mfundo ina ya mavuto amene akachitika. Ponena za unansi wake ndi mwamuna wake, Yehova anauza Hava kuti: “Adzakulamulira iwe.” Amuna ambiri lerolino, mofanana ndi Isao wotchulidwa m’nkhani yathu yoyamba, amalamulira akazi awo mwankhalwe osasamala za malingaliro a akazi awo. Komabe, akazi ambiri amapitiriza kukhumba chisamaliro cha amuna awo. Pamene chikhumbo chimenecho sichinakwaniritsidwe, akaziwo angaumirire chisamaliro chimenecho ndi kuchita zinthu mwadyera. Popeza kuti amuna ambiri amalamulira ndipo akazi ambiri amakhumba chisamaliro cha mwamuna, dyera limafalikira, ndipo mtendere umasoweka. M’nyuzipepala yokhala ndi mutu wakuti “Mmene Tingapendere Zisudzulo Zamakono,” Shunsuke Serizawa anati: “Ngati tinyalanyaza chikhoterero chenicheni chimene chimachititsa vuto limeneli la ‘kuchita zimene ukufuna,’ kutanthauza, kuika zikondwerero zako patsogolo, mwadzidzidzi kudzakhala kosatheka kupenda zisudzulo lerolino.”

Komabe, Yehova wapereka chitsogozo m’Mawu ake kotero kuti okwatirana omvera akhale ndi chimwemwe m’banja ngakhale ali mumkhalidwe wopanda ungwiro. Isao analabadira chitsogozo cha Mulungu ndipo tsopano akusangalala ndi moyo wabanja wachimwemwe. Tiyeni tione mmene malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo amathandizira anthu kulimbitsa chomangira chaukwati.

Kambitsiranani Zinthu

M’maukwati ambiri, kusalankhulana, kuimba mlandu ena, ndi mkhalidwe wamaganizo wadyera zimakupanga kukhala kovuta kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kumvetsetsa malingaliro a wina ndi mnzake. Wofufuza Caryl S. Avery anati: “Popeza kuti kukambitsirana zakukhosi nkofunika kuti pakhale kugwirizana kwenikweni, kugwirizanako kumafunikira kukhulupirirana kotheratu. Ndipo lerolino kukhulupirirana kumasoŵa kwambiri.” Kuwonjezeka kwa kukambitsirana malingaliro amkati amenewo kumamangirira chikhulupiriro chimenecho. Zimenezi zimafunikira kulankhulana kofikana pamtima pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.

Buku la Miyambo limagwiritsira ntchito fanizo kulimbikitsa kufotokozerana malingaliro amkati, likumati: “Uphungu wa m’mtima mwa munthu ndiwo madzi akuya; koma munthu wozindikira adzatungapo.” (Miyambo 20:5) Okwatirana ayenera kuzindikira ndi kutunga maganizo okhala mkati mwa mitima ya anzawo amuukwati. Tayerekezerani kuti mnzanu wamuukwati wakwiya. M’malo monena kuti: “Nanenso ndinali ndi zovuta kuntchito,” bwanji osafunsa mokoma mtima kuti: “Kodi tsiku silinakuyendereni bwino? Chinachitika nchiyani?” Kungatenge nthaŵi ndi kuyesayesa kuti mumvetsere kwa mnzanuyo, koma kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhala kopindulitsa, kokhutiritsa, ndi kosunga nthaŵi kuthera nthaŵi pa zimenezo koposa kunyalanyaza mnzanuyo ndi kudzachita ndi mkwiyo umene udzabuka mtsogolo.

Kuti mukhulupirirane, aliyense ayenera kukhala wowona mtima ndi kuyesa kulongosola zakukhosi m’njira imene mnzanuyo adzamvetsetsa. “Lankhulani chowonadi,” amasonkhezera motero Mawu a Mulungu, “pakuti tili ziŵalo wina ndi mnzake.” (Aefeso 4:25) Kulankhula chowonadi kumafunikira kuzindikira. Bwanji ngati mkazi akulingalira kuti sakumvedwa. Asanalankhule, iye ayenera kulingalira mwambi wakuti: “Wopanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziŵa; ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru.” (Miyambo 17:27) M’malo moimba mlandu mwamuna wake wakuti, “Simumandimvetsera konse!” kungakhale bwino koposa kulankhula modekha zakukhosi kwake asanakwiye ndi kutaya mtima. Mwinamwake angaulule mmene akumverera mwakunena kuti, “Ndikudziŵa kuti ndinu wotanganidwa, koma kuthera nanu nthaŵi pang’ono kudzandichititsa kukhala wachimwemwe kwambiri.”

Ndithudi, “zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” (Miyambo 15:22) Mnzanu wamuukwati amakukondani, koma zimenezo sizimatanthauza kuti akhoza kudziŵa zimene mukuganiza. Muyenera kulola mnzanuyo kudziŵa mmene mukumverera m’njira yochenjera. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani, monga okwatirana Achikristu, kupanga masinthidwe achikondi kotero kuti ‘musunge umodzi wa mzimu mwa chimangiriro cha mtendere.’​—Aefeso 4:2, 3.

Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za Kazuo, amene anali mwamuna wowopa mkazi wake ndi wotchova juga mosalekeza. Anagwera m’ngongole zosaneneka zofika madola mazana zikwi zambiri. Iye analoŵa m’mavuto aakulu pamene anakongola ndalama kuti abweze ngongole zinazo. Ndiyeno anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo ndipo potsirizira pake analimba mtima kuuza mkazi wake za mavuto ake. Iye anali wokonzekera kukalipiridwa ndi mkazi wake. Koma iye anadabwa pamene mkazi wake, amene anali ataphunzira Baibulo kwa nthaŵi yotalikirapo, anayankha modekha kuti: “Tiyeni tiyese kuona mmene tingabwezere ngongolezo.”

Kuyambira tsiku lotsatira, iwo anachezera owakongozawo ndi kuyamba kubweza ngongole zawo, ngakhale kugulitsa nyumba yawo. Kubweza ngongoleyo kunatenga pafupifupi chaka chimodzi. Kodi nchiyani chinasintha Kimie, mkazi wake? Iye akuti: “Mawu opezeka pa Afilipi chaputala 4, mavesi 6 ndi 7, ngowonadi. ‘Musadere nkhaŵa konse; komatu m’zonse ndi pemphero, ndi pembedzero, pamodzi ndi chiyamiko, zopempha zanu zidziŵike kwa Mulungu. Ndipo mtendere wa Mulungu wakupambana chidziŵitso chonse, udzasunga mitima yanu ndi maganizo anu mwa Kristu Yesu.’” Iye anawonjezera kuti: “Pamene mnzanga wina anaona kuti ndinali wachimwemwe mosasamala kanthu za zovuta zanga, anadabwa ndipo anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo ndi ine.” Kazuo ndi mkazi wake anabatizidwa tsopano ndipo akusangalala ndi moyo wabanja wachimwemwe.

Kuwonjezera pa kukhulupirirana mwa kulankhula chowonadi, amuna ndi akazi amene anali ndi zokumana nazo zapamwambazi anachita kanthu kena kamene kamathandiza okwatirana kuthetsa mavuto awo a m’banja. Iwo analankhula ndi Woyambitsa kakonzedwe ka ukwati, Yehova Mulungu. Mosasamala kanthu za zitsenderezo ndi zovuta zimene okwatirana amakumana nazo, iye adzawadalitsa ndi mtendere wa Mulungu wakupambana chidziŵitso chonse ngati achita zimene angathe kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo ake amkhalidwe ndi kumsiyira zonse m’manja mwake. Kupempherera pamodzi nkothandiza kwambiri. Mwamuna ayenera kutsogolera ndi ‘kutsanulira mtima wake’ pamaso pa Mulungu, kufuna chitsogozo ndi chilangizo chake pa vuto lililonse limene iye ndi mkazi wake ali nalo. (Salmo 62:8) Yehova Mulungu adzamvadi mapemphero oterowo.

Inde, nkotheka kulimbitsa chomangira chaukwati. Ngakhale tsopano, pamene tikukhala ndi kupanda ungwiro kwathu m’chitaganya chosautsidwa, okwatirana angakhale ndi chimwemwe chachikulu muunansi wawo. Mungapeze malingaliro othandiza owonjezereka ndi uphungu waumulungu m’buku la Kupangitsa Moyo Wanu wa Banja Kukhala Wachimwemwe, lofalitsidwa ndi Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc. Ndiponso, okwatirana amene amagwira ntchito mwakhama kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo amkhalidwe a Baibulo ali ndi chiyembekezo chakugwirizana pamodzi m’chikondi m’dziko latsopano la Mulungu likudzalo.