Ngati Ukwati Ukufuna Kusweka

1, 2. Pamene ukwati uli pavuto, kodi ndi funso lotani limene liyenera kufunsidwa?

MU 1988 mkazi wachitaliyana wotchedwa Lucia anali wovutika maganizo kwambiri.a Pambuyo pa zaka khumi ukwati wawo unali kutha. Nthaŵi zambiri anayesa kuti agwirizanenso ndi mwamuna wake, koma sizinatheke. Motero anapatukana chifukwa cha kusayenererana ndiyeno anayang’anizana ndi vuto la kulera ana ake aakazi aŵiri payekha. Pokumbukira za panthaŵiyo, Lucia akunena kuti: “Ndinadziŵa kuti palibe chimene chikanapulumutsa ukwati wathu.”

² Ngati muli ndi mavuto a muukwati, mungamvetsetse mkhalidwe wa Lucia. Ukwati wanu ungakhale pavuto ndipo mungaganize kuti mwina sukhoza kupulumuka. Ngati zili choncho, kudzakhala kokuthandizani kudzifunsa funso ili: Kodi ndatsatira uphungu wabwino wonse umene Mulungu wapereka m’Baibulo wochititsa ukwati kupambana?—Salmo 119:105.

 3. Ngakhale kuti kusudzulana kwakhala kofala, kodi malipoti amasonyeza kuti anthu osudzulana ambiri adzimva motani pamodzi ndi mabanja awo?

³ Pamene kusamvana kukula pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, kuthetsa ukwati kungaoneke kukhala njira yapafupi yothetsera vuto. Koma pamene kuli kwakuti maiko ambiri ali ndi ziŵerengero zomawonjezereka modabwitsa za mabanja osweka, kufufuza kwaposachedwapa kwasonyeza kuti amuna ndi akazi ambiri osudzulana ali achisoni. Ambiri amakhala ndi thanzi lofooka, ponse paŵiri m’thupi ndi m’maganizo, kuposa aja amene amakhalabe muukwati wawo. Kaŵirikaŵiri, kuvutika maganizo ndi chisoni cha ana pamene ukwati watha zimakhala kwa zaka zambiri. Makolo ndi mabwenzi a banja loswekalo amavutika nawonso. Ndipo bwanji ponena za mmene Mulungu, Woyambitsa ukwati, amaonera mkhalidwewo?

 4. Kodi mavuto a muukwati ayenera kuthetsedwa motani?

⁴ Monga momwe taonera m’mitu yapitayo, chifuno cha Mulungu chinali chakuti ukwati ukhale mgwirizano wa moyo wonse. (Genesis 2:24) Nanga nchifukwa ninji maukwati ambiri amasweka? Sizimachitika mwadzidzidzi. Kaŵirikaŵiri pamakhala zizindikiro zochenjeza. Mavuto aang’ono muukwati angayambe kukula kufikira aoneka kukhala osathetseka. Koma ngati mavuto ameneŵa athetsedwa mwamsanga ndi chithandizo cha Baibulo, maukwati ambiri sangasweke.

 5. Kodi ndi mkhalidwe weniweni wotani umene tiyenera kuyang’anizana nawo muukwati uliwonse?

⁵ Mkhalidwe umene nthaŵi zina umatsogolera ku mavuto ndiwo kufuna zinthu zosatheka kwa a muukwati. Mabuku a nkhani zachikondi, magazini okondedwa kwambiri, maprogramu a pawailesi yakanema, ndi mafilimu zingapereke ziyembekezo ndi maloto osatheka m’moyo weniweni. Pamene maloto ameneŵa sakwaniritsika, munthuyo angakhale wokhumudwa, wosakhutira, ndipo ngakhale wokwiya. Komabe, kodi ndi motani mmene anthu aŵiri opanda ungwiro angapezere chimwemwe muukwati? Kukhala ndi unansi wachipambano kumafuna kuyesayesa zolimba.

 6. (a) Kodi Baibulo limapereka lingaliro loyenera lotani la ukwati? (b) Kodi ndi zifukwa zina ziti zimene zimachititsa mikangano muukwati?

⁶ Baibulo limanena zenizeni. Limasonyeza chisangalalo cha ukwati, komanso limachenjeza kuti awo amene aloŵa ukwati “adzakhala nacho chisautso m’thupi.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Monga taonera kale, onse aŵiri ali opanda ungwiro ndi okhoza kuchimwa. Mpangidwe wa maganizo ndi mtima wa munthu aliyense ndi makulidwe ake nzosiyana. Nthaŵi zina a muukwati amakangana pa ndalama, ana, ndi achibale. Kusapeza nthaŵi ya kuchitira zinthu pamodzi ndiponso mavuto a zakugonana zingakhalenso zochititsa mkangano.b Kusamalira nkhani zotero kumafuna nthaŵi, koma musataye mtima! A muukwati ambiri ali okhoza kuyang’anizana ndi mavuto oterowo ndi kupeza njira zowathetsera mogwirizana.

7, 8. Ngati pali kupwetekana mtima ndi kusamvana pakati pa okwatirana, kodi njira ya Malemba yothetsera zimenezo ndi yotani?

⁷ Ambiri kumawavuta kukhala odekha pokambirana zopweteka mtima, mikangano, kapena zolakwa zawo. M’malo mwa kunena mosabisa kuti: “Mwandimva molakwa,” mnzakeyo angangokwiya ndi kukulitsa vuto. Ambiri amanena kuti: “Mungosamala zanu zokha,” kapena kuti, “Simundikonda.” Posafuna kukangana, winayo angangokhala chete osafuna kuyankha.

⁸ Njira yabwino ndiyo kutsatira uphungu wa Baibulo wakuti: “Kwiyani, koma musachimwe; dzuŵa lisaloŵe muli chikwiyire.” (Aefeso 4:26) Okwatirana ena achimwemwe, pamene anafika chaka cha 60 cha ukwati wawo, anafunsidwa za chinsinsi cha chipambano cha ukwati wawo. Mwamunayo anati: “Tinaphunzira kusagona tisanathetse mkangano, zinalibe kanthu kuti unali waung’ono motani.”

 9. (a) Kodi Malemba amasonyeza chiyani kukhala mbali yofunika ya kulankhulana? (b) Kodi okwatirana afunikira kumachitanji kaŵirikaŵiri, ngakhale kuti zimenezi zimafuna kulimba mtima ndi kudzichepetsa?

⁹ Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi akangana, aliyense afunikira ‘kukhala wotchera khutu, wodekha polankhula, wodekha pakupsa mtima.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Atamvetsera mosamalitsa, onse aŵiri angaone kufunika kwa kupepesa. (Yakobo 5:16) Kunena moona mtima kuti, “Pepani ndakukhumudwitsani,” kumafuna kudzichepetsa ndi kulimba mtima. Koma kuthetsa mikangano mwa njira imeneyi kudzathandiza kwambiri a muukwati, osati kuthetsa mavuto kokha komanso kukulitsa ubwenzi ndi chikondi zimene zidzawachititsa kukonda kukhala pamodzi.

10. Kodi ndi chitetezo chotani chimene Paulo analangiza Akristu a ku Korinto chimene chingagwirenso ntchito kwa Mkristu lerolino?

¹⁰ Pamene mtumwi Paulo analembera Akorinto, analimbikitsa kukwatira, “chifukwa cha madama.” (1 Akorinto 7:2) Dziko lerolino nloipa mofanana ndi Korinto wakaleyo, ndipo ngakhale kuposapo. Nkhani zachisembwere zimene anthu a dziko amakambitsirana poyera, mavalidwe awo onyazitsa, ndi nkhani zodzutsa chilakolako chakugonana zopezeka m’magazini ndi mabuku, pa TV, ndi m’mafilimu, zonse zimasonkhezera zilakolako za chisembwere. Kwa Akorinto amene anazingidwa ndi mikhalidwe imodzimodziyo, mtumwi Paulo anati: “Nkwabwino kukwatira koposa kutentha mtima.”—1 Akorinto 7:9.

11, 12. (a) Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi ali ndi mangawa otani kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndipo kodi ayenera kuperekedwa ndi mzimu wotani? (b) Kodi ziyenera kuchitika motani ngati mangawa a ukwati ayenera kulekezedwa kwakanthaŵi?

¹¹ Chifukwa chake, Baibulo limalamula Akristu okwatira kuti: “Mwamunayo apereke kwa mkazi mangawa ake; koma chimodzimodzinso mkazi kwa mwamuna.” (1 Akorinto 7:3) Onani kuti chigogomezero chili pa kupatsa—osati kuumiriza. Mangawa a muukwati amakhala okhutiritsa pokhapo ngati aliyense asamala za ubwino wa mnzake. Mwachitsanzo, Baibulo limalamula amuna kuchita ndi akazi awo “monga mwa chidziŵitso.” (1 Petro 3:7) Zimenezi nzofunika makamaka popereka ndi polandira mangawa a muukwati. Ngati mkazi sasonyezedwa chikondi, kungakhale kovuta kuti asangalale ndi mbali imeneyi ya ukwati.

¹² Pali nthaŵi zina pamene okwatirana angamanane mangawa a muukwati. Mkazi angachite zimenezo panthaŵi zina m’mwezi kapena pamene akumva kutopa kwambiri. (Yerekezerani ndi Levitiko 18:19.) Mwamunanso angachite zimenezo pamene akuchita ndi vuto lalikulu kuntchito ndipo ali wopsinjika maganizo. Kulekeza kupereka mangawa a muukwati kwakanthaŵi kumeneko kungachitidwe bwino koposa ngati aŵiriwo akambitsirana za mkhalidwewo moona mtima ndi ‘kuvomerezana.’ (1 Akorinto 7:5) Zimenezi zidzachititsa aliyense wa iwo kusaganiza zinazake. Komabe, ngati mkazi amana dala mwamuna wake kapena ngati mwamuna alephera dala kupereka mangawa a ukwati mwa njira yachikondi, mnzakeyo angakhale pangozi ya chiyeso. Mumkhalidwe woterowo, pangabuke mavuto muukwati.

13. Kodi Akristu angachite motani kuti akhale ndi kalingaliridwe koyenera?

¹³ Mofanana ndi Akristu onse, atumiki a Mulungu okwatira ayenera kupeŵa zithunzithunzi zaumaliseche, zimene zingadzutse zikhumbo zonyansa zosakhala zachibadwa. (Akolose 3:5) Ayeneranso kutetezera malingaliro ndi makhalidwe awo pochita ndi onse osiyana nawo ziŵalo. Yesu anachenjeza kuti: “Yense wakuyang’ana mkazi kumkhumba, pamenepo watha kuchita naye chigololo mumtima mwake.” (Mateyu 5:28) Mwa kugwiritsira ntchito uphungu wa Baibulo wonena za kugonana, okwatirana ayenera kukhala okhoza kupeŵa kugwera m’chiyeso ndi kuchita chigololo. Angapitirize kusangalala ndi chikondi cha muukwati umene kugonana kumaonedwa kukhala mphatso yolemekezeka yochokera kwa Woyambitsa ukwati, Yehova.—Miyambo 5:15-19.

14. Kodi ndi mkhalidwe womvetsa chisoni wotani umene nthaŵi zina ungakhalepo? Chifukwa ninji?

¹⁴ Chokondweretsa nchakuti, m’maukwati ambiri achikristu, mavuto alionse amene amabuka akhoza kuthetsedwa. Komabe, nthaŵi zina sizimatheka. Chifukwa chakuti anthu ali opanda ungwiro ndipo akukhala m’dziko lauchimo lolamuliridwa ndi Satana, maukwati ena amafika pafupi ndi kusweka. (1 Yohane 5:19) Kodi Akristu ayenera kuchita motani ndi mkhalidwe wa chiyeso umenewo?

15. (a) Kodi pali maziko a Malemba okha ati a chisudzulo amene ali ndi chilolezo cha kukwatiranso? (b) Kodi nchifukwa ninji ena sanafune kusudzula mnzawo wa muukwati wosakhulupirika?

¹⁵ Monga kwatchulidwa m’Mutu 2 wa buku lino, dama ndilo maziko okha a Malemba a chisudzulo ndi chilolezo cha kukwatiranso.c (Mateyu 19:9) Ngati muli ndi umboni wotsimikizika wakuti mnzanu wa muukwati sakuyenda bwino, pamenepo mukuyang’anizana ndi chosankha chovuta. Kodi mudzakhala muukwatiwo kapena mudzasudzulana? Palibe malamulo amene akuperekedwa. Akristu ena akhululukira kwenikweni mnzawo wa muukwati wolapa moona mtimayo, ndipo ukwati wawo wosungikawo wawongokera bwino lomwe. Ena sanafune kusudzulana chifukwa cha ana.

16. (a) Kodi ndi zinthu zina ziti zimene zachititsa ena kusudzula anzawo a muukwati ochimwa? (b) Pamene wa muukwati wochimwiridwa apanga chosankha cha kusudzulana kapena kusasudzulana, nchifukwa ninji palibe amene ayenera kusuliza chosankha chake?

¹⁶ Komabe, tchimolo lingakhale ndi chotulukapo cha mimba kapena matenda opatsirana. Kapena ana angafunikire kutetezeredwa kwa kholo logona ana. Mwachionekere, pali zambiri zofuna kuzilingalira musanapange chosankha. Komabe, ngati mwadziŵa za kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu wa muukwati ndiyeno pambuyo pake muyambanso kugona naye, mwasonyeza kuti mwamkhululukira ndipo mukufuna kupitiriza ndi ukwatiwo. Maziko a chisudzulo ndi chilolezo cha Malemba cha kukwatiranso zathera pamenepo. Palibe aliyense amene ayenera kuloŵererapo ndi kukusonkhezerani kupanga chosankha, ndipo aliyense sayenera kusuliza chosankha chanu pamene mwachipanga. Muyenera kukhala wokonzeka kuyang’anizana ndi zotulukapo za chosankha chanu. “Yense adzasenza katundu wake wa iye mwini.”—Agalatiya 6:5.

17. Ngati anthu apatukana kapena kusudzulana pachifukwa chosakhala dama, kodi ndi ziletso zotani zimene Malemba amaika pa iwo?

¹⁷ Kodi ilipo mikhalidwe imene ingachititse kukhala koyenera kupatukana kapena kusudzulana ndi wina ngakhale ngati iye sanachite dama? Inde, m’chochitika chimenecho, Mkristu sali womasuka kuloŵa m’chibwenzi ndi munthu wina ndi cholinga cha kukwatirana. (Mateyu 5:32) Pamene kuli kwakuti Baibulo limalola kupatukana koteroko, limalamula kuti wochokayo ‘akhale wosakwatiwa, kapena ayanjanitsidwenso.’ (1 Akorinto 7:11) Kodi ndi mikhalidwe yoipitsitsa yotani imene ingachititse kukhala koyenera kupatukana?

18, 19. Kodi ndi mikhalidwe yowopsa yotani imene ingachititse wina wa muukwati kulingalira za kufunika kwa kukapatukana kukhoti kapena kukalekana, ngakhale kuti pangakhale palibe chilolezo cha kukwatiranso?

¹⁸ Chabwino, banja lingakhale paumphaŵi chifukwa cha ulesi ndi makhalidwe oipa a mwamuna.d Iye angamatchovere juga ndalama za banja kapena kumagulira anamgoneka kapena moŵa. Baibulo limati: “Ngati wina sadzisungiratu . . . a m’banja lake, wakana chikhulupiriro iye, ndipo aipa koposa wosakhulupira.” (1 Timoteo 5:8) Ngati mwamuna woteroyo akana kusintha njira zake, mwinamwake ngakhale kumatenga ndalama zimene mkazi wake amapeza ndi kugulira zinthu zakezo, mkaziyo angafune kusamalira umoyo wake ndi wa ana ake mwa kukapatukana kukhoti.

¹⁹ Kachitidwe ka lamulo kameneko kangalingaliridwe ngati wina wa muukwati ali wachiwawa kwambiri kwa mnzake, mwinamwake kumammenya kaŵirikaŵiri kwakuti thanzi lake ndipo ngakhale moyo wake ukhala pangozi. Ndiponso, ngati wina wa muukwati ayesa kukakamiza mnzake kuswa malamulo a Mulungu mwa njira inayake, wowopsezedwayo angalingalirenso za kupatukana, makamaka ngati nkhaniyo ifika pamlingo wa kuika moyo wake wauzimu pangozi. Wokhala pangoziyo angaone kuti njira yokha yakuti ‘amvere Mulungu koposa anthu’ ndiyo mwa kukapatukana kukhoti.—Machitidwe 5:29.

20. (a) Ngati banja likufuna kusweka, kodi ndi chithandizo chotani chimene mabwenzi auchikulire ndi akulu angapereke, ndipo nchiyani chimene sayenera kupereka? (b) Okwatirana sayenera kugwiritsira ntchito mfundo za Baibulo za kupatukana ndi kusudzulana monga chodzikhululukira chakuti achite chiyani?

²⁰ M’zochitika zonse za nkhanza ya wina wa muukwati, palibe amene ayenera kuumiriza wosalakwayo kaya kupatukana ndi mnzakeyo kapena kukhalabe naye. Pamene kuli kwakuti mabwenzi ndi akulu achidziŵitso angapereke chichirikizo ndi uphungu wa Baibulo, iwoŵa sangadziŵe zonse zoloŵetsedwamo zimene zikuchitika pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Yehova yekha ndiye amaona zimenezo. Ndithudi, mkazi wachikristu sadzakhala akulemekeza kakonzedwe ka Mulungu ka ukwati ngati agwiritsira ntchito zifukwa zodzikhululukira kuti achoke mu ukwati. Koma ngati mkhalidwe wowopsa kwambiri upitirizabe, palibe amene ayenera kumsuliza ngati asankha kupatukana. Zimenezi zimagwiranso ntchito kwa mwamuna wachikristu amene afuna kupatukana ndi mkazi wake. “Tonse tidzaimirira ku mpando wakuweruza wa Mulungu.”—Aroma 14:10.

21. Kodi ndi chochitika chotani chimene chimasonyeza kuti uphungu wa Baibulo pa ukwati umagwira ntchito?

²¹ Lucia amene tatchula poyamba, atapatukana ndi mwamuna wake kwa miyezi itatu, anakumana ndi Mboni za Yehova nayamba kuphunzira nazo Baibulo. Iye akufotokoza kuti: “Ndinadabwa kuona kuti Baibulo linali kupereka mayankho ogwira ntchito pa mavuto anga. Titangophunzira kwa mlungu umodzi, ndinafuna kubwererana ndi mwamuna wanga. Lerolino ndikhoza kunena kuti Yehova amadziŵa kupulumutsa maukwati okhala pavuto chifukwa chakuti ziphunzitso zake zimathandiza okwatirana kudziŵa mmene ayenera kupatsirana ulemu. Zimene anthu ena amanena nzabodza, kuti Mboni za Yehova zimagaŵanitsa mabanja. Kwa ine zimene zinachitika nzosiyana kwenikweni ndi zimenezo.” Lucia anaphunzira kugwiritsira ntchito mapulinsipulo a Baibulo m’moyo wake.

22. Kodi onse okwatirana ayenera kudalira chiyani?

²² Zimenezi sizinachitikire Lucia yekha. Ukwati uyenera kukhala dalitso, osati mtolo. Chifukwa chake, Yehova wapereka magwero abwino koposa a uphungu wa ukwati oposa ena alionse olembedwapo—Mawu ake amtengo wapatali. Baibulo lingapatse “opusa nzeru.” (Salmo 19:7-11) Lapulumutsa maukwati ambiri amene anafuna kusweka ndipo lawongolera ena ambiri amene anali ndi mavuto aakulu. Okwatirana onse akhale ndi chidaliro chokwanira pa uphungu wa ukwati umene Yehova Mulungu akupereka. Umagwiradi ntchito!