Ukwati Wanuwo Utha Kupulumuka!

Baibulo lili ndi uphungu umene ungathandize amuna ndi akazi awo. Zimenezi si zodabwitsa n’komwe popeza kuti Iye amene anauzira Baibulo alinso Woyambitsa kakonzedwe ka ukwati.

BAIBULO limasonyeza chithunzi chenicheni cha ukwati. Limavomereza kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake adzakhala ndi “chisautso” kapena, mmene Baibulo la New English Bible limanenera, “zopweteka ndi chisoni.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Komabe, Baibulo limanenanso kuti ukwati ungakhoze ndipo uyenera kubweretsa chimwemwe, ngakhale chisangalalo. (Miyambo 5:18, 19) Mfundo ziŵiri zimenezi sizikutsutsana ayi. Zikungosonyeza kuti ngakhale pa mavuto aakulu, okwatiranawo angakhale ndi ubale wabwino komanso wachikondi.

Kodi zimenezo zikusoŵeka mu ukwati wanu? Kodi zopweteka ndi zokhumudwitsa zaphimba ubwino ndi chimwemwe zimene zinali paubale wanuwo? Ngakhale kuti ukwati wanu wakhala wopanda chikondi kwa zaka zambiri, zolepherekazo zingathekenso. Inde, muyenera kuona zinthu mmene zilili. Palibe mwamuna ndi mkazi wopanda ungwiro amene angakhale ndi ukwati wangwiro. Komabe, pali zimene mungachite kusintha zolakwikazo.

Poŵerenga mfundo zotsatirazi, yesani kuona makamaka zimene zikukhudza ukwati wanu. M’malo moyang’ana zolakwa za mnzanu, sankhani malingaliro ochepa amene inuyo mungachite, ndi kutsatira uphungu wa m’Malemba. Mudzapeza kuti n’zotheka kwambirinso ukwati wanu kusintha kusiyana ndi mmene mukudziŵira.

Tiyeni tikambe za maganizo anu chifukwa mmene mumaonera kudzipereka komanso mnzanu n’zofunika kwambiri.

Mmene Mumaonera Kudzipereka

Kuona patali n’kofunika ngati mukufuna kukonza ukwati wanu. Ndipotu, anayambitsa kakonzedwe ka ukwati ndi Mulungu, kuphatika anthu aŵiri pamodzi kuti asalekane. (Genesis 2:24; Mateyu 19:4, 5) Choncho, ubale wanu ndi mnzanu suli ngati ntchito imene mungasiye kapena ngati nyumba imene mungachokemo mwa kungoswa pangano ndi kutulukamo. M’malo mwake, pokwatirana munalumbira kukhalabe ndi mnzanuyo, ngakhale patabuka mavuto otani. Kudzipereka ndi mtima wonse kumeneku kumagwirizana ndi zimene Yesu Kristu ananena pafupifupi zaka 2,000 zapitazo kuti: “Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”—Mateyu 19:6.

Ena anganene kuti, ‘Ifetu tidakali limodzi. Kodi zimenezi sizikusonyeza kuti ndife odzipereka?’ Mwina. Komabe, monga mmene tatchulira poyamba nkhani zimenezi, okwatirana ena amene amakhalira limodzi amakhalabe m’mavuto, kukanirira mu ukwati wopanda chikondi. Cholinga chanu n’kupanga ukwati wanu kukhala wosangalatsa, osangoti wopiririka. Kudzipereka kuyenera kusonyeza kukhulupirika osangoti ku mwambo wa ukwati basi komanso kwa munthu amene munalumbira kum’konda ndi kum’samalira.—Aefeso 5:33.

Zinthu zimene mumalankhula kwa mnzanu zingavumbule mmenedi kudzipereka kwanu kulili. Mwachitsanzo, pokangana, amuna ndi akazi ena amafulumira kunena mawu ngati “Ndikusiya!” kapena kuti “Ndikapeza wina amene amandiyamikira!” Ngakhale kuti mawu oterowo sanenedwa kuchokera pansi pa mtima, amaluluza kudzipereka mwa kubweretsa lingaliro lakuti angathe kusiyana nthaŵi ina iliyonse komanso kuti wonena mawuyo amakhala woima ndi mwendo umodzi komanso wokonzeka kuchoka.

Kuti mubwezeretse chikondi pa ukwati wanu, pewani mawu oopseza choncho pokambirana. Ndipo kodi, inuyo mukanakongoletsa nyumba mutadziŵa kuti tsiku lina lililonse mungachokemo? Nangano mungayembekeze bwanji mnzanu kuvutikira ukwati umene sungakhalitse? Tsimikizirani kuti mudzayesetsa ndi mtima wonse kupeza njira zothandiza.

Izi n’zimene mkazi wina anachita atasoŵa mtendere ndi mwamuna wake. “Nthaŵi zina pamene sindinam’fune, sindinaganize zosiyana naye,” akutero. “Chilichonse chimene chinasokonekera, tinati tichikonza mwanjira inayake. Ndipo tsopano, patatha zaka ziŵiri zovuta kwambiri, nditha kunena kuchokera pansi pa mtima kuti tilinso achimwemwe ndithu.”

Inde, kudzipereka kumatanthauza kuchitira zinthu pamodzi—osangoti kukhala pamodzi koma kugwira ntchito n’cholinga chimodzi. Komabe, mungaganize kuti panopo chimene chikusunga ukwati wanu ndicho kungozindikira udindo wanu basi. Ngati zili choncho, musataye mtima. Zingatheke kuti chikondi n’kuyambiranso. Motani?

Kulemekeza Mnzanu

Baibulo limati: “Ukwati uchitidwe ulemu ndi onse.” (Ahebri 13:4; Aroma 12:10) Mitundu ina ya liwu lachigiriki lotembenuzidwa panopa kuti “uchitidwe ulemu” yamasuliridwa penapake m’Baibulo kuti “wokondedwa,” “wolemekezeka,” komanso “wamtengo wapatali.” Ngati chinachake chili chamtengo wapatali, timachita khama zedi kuchisamalira. Mwina mwaonapo kuti munthu amene ali ndi galimoto latsopano lokwera mtengo amachitadi zimenezi. Amasunga galimoto lake lamtengo wapatalilo lili lowala ndiponso labwinobwino. Kwa iyeyo ngakhale kukandika pang’ono ndi vuto lalikulutu! Anthu ena amachita chimodzimodzi posamalira thanzi lawo. Chifukwa? Chifukwa amaona thanzi lawo kukhala lamtengo wapatali, choncho amafuna kuliteteza.

Chitani chimodzimodzi poteteza ndi kusamalira ukwati wanu. Baibulo limanena kuti chikondi “chiyembekeza zinthu zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:7) M’malo motayiratu mtima—mwina kusayembekeza kuti zinthu zingasinthe n’kumanena kuti, “Sitinkakondana kwenikweni,” “Tinakwatirana tili aang’ono,” kapena kuti “Sitinadziŵe zimene tinali kuchita”—bwanji osangokhulupirira kuti zinthu zikhala bwino ndi kulimbikira kukonza zinthu, n’kuyembekezera moleza mtima zotsatira zake? “Ndimamva odandaula anga ambiri akuti, ‘Sindithanso kupirira zimenezo!’” anatero mlangizi wina wa maukwati. “M’malo mofufuza ubale wawowo kuti aone mbali zimene zikufunika kuwongolera, amafulumira kungousiya, kuphatikizapo zimene onse amakonda, zinthu zimene anachita bwinobwino m’mbiri yawo, ndiponso mwina mwayi wa m’tsogolo.”

Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene munachitira limodzi ndi mnzanu m’mbiri yanu? Ngakhale kuti pali zovuta pa ubale wanu, kunena zoona mungaganizire za nthaŵi zosangalatsa, zinthu zimene munakhoza, ndi zovuta zimene munakumana nazo monga anthu ogwirizana. Ganizirani zimenezi, ndipo onetsani kuti mumalemekeza ukwati wanu komanso mnzanuyo mwa kuyesetsa ndi mtima wonse kuwongolera ubale wanu. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti Yehova Mulungu ali ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi mmene anthu okwatirana amachitirana wina ndi mnzake. Mwachitsanzo, m’tsiku la mneneri Malaki, Yehova anatsutsa amuna achiisrayeli amene anachita mosakhulupirika kwa akazi awo mwa kuwasudzula popanda zifukwa zenizeni. (Malaki 2:13-16) Akristu amafuna kuti ukwati wawo ulemekeze Yehova Mulungu.

Kukangana—Kodi N’koopsa Bwanji?

Vuto lalikulu m’maukwati opanda chikondi limaoneka kukhala kulephera kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kuthetsa mkangano. Popeza kuti palibe anthu aŵiri ofanana ndendende, nthaŵi zina m’banja onse amasemphana maganizo. Koma mabanja amene amakangana nthaŵi zonse angapeze kuti m’kupita kwa zaka chikondi chawo chazirala. Angafike ngakhale poganiza kuti, ‘Ndife osayenerana. Timangomenyana nthaŵi zonse!’

Komabe, kukangana wamba sindiko umboni wakuti ukwati uthe. Funso n’lakuti, Kodi mkangano umathetsedwa bwanji? M’banja lopambana, mwamuna ndi mkazi amaphunzira kukambirana za mavuto awo popanda kukhala “adani odziŵana bwino” ngati mmene dokotala wina ananenera.

‘Mphamvu ya Lilime’

Kodi inu ndi mnzanu mumadziŵa kukambirana mavuto anu? Nonsenu muyenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kutchula mavutowo. Kunena zoona, ndi luso limenelo—limene lingakhale lovuta kuliphunzira. Chifukwa? Chifukwa chimodzi n’chakuti, tonsefe nthaŵi zina timatha “kukhumudwa pa mawu” pakuti tilibe ungwiro. (Yakobo 3:2) Komanso, ena anakulira m’banja limene kholo limalusa nthaŵi zambiri. Mwa mawu ena, kuyambira paubwana, anaphunzitsidwa kukhulupirira kuti kukhala wachiwawa ndiponso wamwano n’zabwinobwino. Mnyamata wokulira m’banja lotero angadzakhale “mwamuna wamkwiyo,” amene ali “waukali.” (Miyambo 29:22) Mofananamo, mtsikana amene analeredwa chimodzimodzi angadzakhale “mkazi wowola m’kamwa komanso waukali.” (Miyambo 21:19, The Bible in Basic English) Kungakhale kovuta kuchotseratu kaganizidwe ndi kachitidwe ka zinthu kozika mizu kwambiriko.a

Choncho, kuthetsa mkangano kumaphatikizapo kuphunzira njira zatsopano zonenera malingaliro ako. Imeneyi si nkhani yaing’ono, popeza mwambi wa Baibulo umati: “Lilime lili ndi mphamvu pa imfa ndi moyo.” (Miyambo 18:21) Inde, mulimonse mmene zingamvekere, mmene mumalankhulira kwa mnzanu zingawonongetse ubale wanu kapena kuulimbitsa. “Alipo wonena mwansontho ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga,” mwambi wina wa Baibulo umatero, “koma lilime la anzeru lilamitsa.”—Miyambo 12:18.

Ngakhale ngati mnzanu akuoneka kuti ndiye walakwa pa nkhani imeneyi, ganizani zimene inu munene pamene mwasemphana maganizo. Kodi mawu anu amapweteka, kapena amachiza? Kodi amaputa mkwiyo kapena amauziziritsa? “Mawu oŵaŵitsa aputa msunamo,” Baibulo limatero. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, “mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo.” (Miyambo 15:1) Mawu oŵaŵitsa—ngakhale atanenedwa modekha—amawonjezabe mkwiyo.

Inde, ngati chinachake chakusokonezani, muli ndi ufulu wonena zimenezo. (Genesis 21:9-12) Koma mungatero popanda kutonyolana, mwano, komanso kuchotserana ulemu. Dziikireni malire amphamvu—zinthu zina zimene muyenera kutsimikiza mtima kusanena kwa mnzanu, ngati kuti “Ndimadana nawe” kapena, “Zikanakhala bwino tikanapanda kukwatirana n’komwe.” Ndipo ngakhale kuti Paulo mtumwi wachikristuyo sanali kunena za ukwati, n’kwanzeru kupeŵa kugwera m’zimene anatcha “makani a mawu” ndi “makani opanda pake.”b (1 Timoteo 6:4, 5) Ngati mnzanu amagwiritsa ntchito njira zimenezi, simuyenera kuyankha chimodzimodzi. Monga momwe mukhoza inuyo, londolani mtendere.—Aroma 12:17, 18; Afilipi 2:14.

Kunena zoona, pamene mkwiyo wayaka, n’kovuta kubweza mawu a munthu. “Lilime ndilo moto,” wolemba Baibulo Yakobo akutero. “Palibe munthu akhoza kulizoloŵeretsa; lili choipa chotakataka, lodzala ndi ululu wakupha.” (Yakobo 3:6, 8) Ndiye mungatani ngati mkwiyo ukuyamba? Kodi mungalankhule bwanji kwa mnzanu mwanjira imene ingachepetse mkangano m’malo mouwonjezera moto?

Kuziziritsa Mikangano Yoopsa

Anthu ena apeza kuti n’zosavuta kuchepetsa mkwiyo ndi kukambirana vuto lenileni ngati afotokoza mmene lawakhudzira iwowo m’malo mofotokoza zochita za mnzawo. Mwachitsanzo, kuli bwino kunena kuti “Zimene unanena zinandipsetsa mtima” kuposa kuti “Umandipsetsa mtima” kapena kuti “Munthu wamkulu ngati iwe suyenera kunena choncho.” Inde, pofotokoza mmene mukumvera, mawu anu sayenera kukhala aukali kapena onyoza. Cholinga chanu chiyenera kukhala chounika vutolo m’malo moukira munthu.—Genesis 27:46–28:1.

Komanso, nthaŵi zonse mudzikumbukira kuti pali “mphindi yakutonthola ndi mphindi yakulankhula.” (Mlaliki 3:7) Pamene anthu aŵiri akulankhula nthaŵi imodzimodzi, iwowo samvetserana, ndipo sizithandiza n’komwe. Ndiye ngati ili nthaŵi yanu yomvetsera, khalani “wotchera khutu, wodekha polankhula.” Komanso chofunika, khalani “wodekha pakupsa mtima.” (Yakobo 1:19) Musamangokhulupirira liwu lililonse laukali limene mnzanu walankhula; ngakhalenso ‘kukangaza mumtima mwanu kukwiya.’ (Mlaliki 7:9) M’malo mwake, yesani kuzindikira zimene zachititsa mnzanuyo kulankhula choncho. “Kulingalira kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo,” limatero Baibulo, “ulemerero wake uli wakuti akhululukire cholakwa.” (Miyambo 19:11) Kulingalira kungathandize mwamuna kapena mkazi kuona chenicheni chimene chachititsa kusemphana maganizoko.

Mwachitsanzo, dandaulo la mkazi lakuti mwamuna wake sakhala naye nthaŵi yaitali silingakhale lonena za maola ndi mphindi basi. Lingakhudzenso zakuti iye amaona ngati amam’nyalanyaza kapena sam’yamikira. Mofananamo, kudandaula kwa mwamuna kuti mkazi wake amati akaona chinthu n’kugula nthaŵi yomweyo mwina si kwa ndalama zokhazo ayi. Kungakhale kwakuti akuganiza kuti sanayambe wam’funsa posankha zogulazo. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wolingalira adzazama kuti aone chenicheni choyambitsa vutolo.—Miyambo 16:23.

Kodi zimenezi n’zapafupi kungozilankhula? Indedi! Nthaŵi zina, ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji, mawu opweteka amanenedwabe ndipo mkwiyo umayaka. Mutaona kuti zimenezi zayamba kuchitika, mungafunikire kutsatira malangizo a pa Miyambo 17:14 akuti: “Kupikisana kusanayambe tasiya makani.” Palibe cholakwika kuimitsa kaye kukambiranako mpaka mtima utakhazikika pansi. Ngati n’kovuta kukambirana bwinobwino, kungakhale bwino kutenga mnzanu wokhwima kuti akhale nanu pansi aŵirinu n’kukuthandizani kuthetsa mikangano yanuyo.c

Musasiye Kuona Zinthu Mmene Zilili

Musagwe mphwayi ngati banja lanu silili ngati mmene munkaganizira kuti lidzakhalira panthaŵi ya ubwenzi wanu. Kagulu kena ka akatswiri kanati: “Kwa anthu ambiri ukwati sumangokhala kusangalala kokhakokha. Umakhala bwino kwambiri nthaŵi zina ndipo nthaŵi zinanso umavuta.”

Inde, ukwati sungakhale ngati nkhani yachikondi ya m’mabuku, komanso suyenera kukhala nkhani yomvetsa chisoni. Pamene kuli kwakuti nthaŵi zina inu ndi mnzanu mudzangofunikira kupirirana, nthaŵi zinanso mudzafunikira kukankhira kunkhongo mikangano yanu n’kumangosangalala kukhalira limodzi, kuseketsana, n’kumalankhulana ngati mabwenzi. (Aefeso 4:2; Akolose 3:13) Zimenezi ndiye nthaŵi zimene mungadzutsenso chikondi chimene chazirala.

Kumbukirani, anthu aŵiri opanda ungwiro sangakhale ndi ukwati wangwiro. Koma angapeze chimwemwe ndithu. Zoonadi, ngakhale patakhala zovuta, ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo ungakhale wokhutiritsa kwambiri. Chinthu chimodzi chili choona: Ngati aŵirinu mukuyesetsa ndipo mukufunitsitsa kukhala wololera ndi kufunira zabwino mnzanuyo, pali chifukwa chomveka chokhulupirira kuti ukwati wanu utha kupulumuka.—1 Akorinto 10:24.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 12]

Kodi mawu anu amapweteka kapena amachiza?

[Bokosi patsamba 10]

PONYANI MPIRA BWINOBWINO

Baibulo limati: “Mawu anu akhale m’chisomo, okoleretsa, kuti mukadziŵe inu mayankhidwe anu a kwa yense akatani.” (Akolose 4:6) Zimenezi zimagwiratu ntchito bwino m’banja! Mwachitsanzo: M’maseŵera oŵakha mpira, m’maponya mpira kuti wina auŵakhe mosavuta. Ndithudi, simuuponya ndi mphamvu kwambiri kuti mupweteke mnzanu. Chitani zomwezo polankhula ndi mnzanu m’banja. Kulankhula mwaukali kungangopweteketsa mtima. M’malo mwake, lankhulani bwinobwino—m’chisomo—kuchitira kuti mnzanu aigwire mfundo yanu.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 11]

KUMBUKIRANI ZAKALE!

Ŵerengani makalata ndi makadi akale. Onani zithunzi. Dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi chinandikopa n’chiyani mwa mnzangayu? Kodi ndi mikhalidwe iti imene ndinaikhumba kwambiri? Kodi tinkachita zinthu zotani pamodzi? N’chiyani chinatiseketsa?’ Ndiyeno kambiranani zinthu zimenezi ndi mnzanuyo. Nkhani imene imayamba ndi mawu oti “Ukukumbukira nthaŵi ija . . . ?” ingakuthandizeni inuyo ndi mnzanu kudzutsanso malingaliro amene aŵirinu munali nawo.

[Bokosi patsamba 12]

MNZANU WATSOPANO, MAVUTO AMODZIMODZI

Anthu ena okwatirana amene amaona kuti akukanirira mu ukwati wopanda chikondi amanyengeka kuti apeze mnzawo wina. Koma Baibulo limaletsa chigololo, likumati munthu amene amachita tchimo limeneli “alibe nzeru [“ndi chitsiru chopanda pake,” New English Bible]” ndipo ‘akufuna kuwononga moyo wakewake.’ (Miyambo 6:32) Pomalizira pake, munthu wachigololo wosalapayo amataya chiyanjo cha Mulungu—kuwonongeka koipitsitsa ndithu.—Ahebri 13:4.

Kupusa kochita chigololo kumaoneka m’njira zinanso. China, munthu wachigololo amene amakwatirananso ndi munthu wina angakumanenso ndi mavuto amodzimodziwo amene anawononga ukwati wake woyamba. Dr. Diane Medved akutchula chinanso chofunika kulingalira: “Chinthu choyamba chimene mnzanu watsopanoyo anadziŵa za inu,” akutero, “n’chakuti muli wokonzeka kukhala wosakhulupirika. Iye amadziŵa kuti mungam’nyenge munthu amene munalonjeza kuti mudzam’lemekeza. Kuti ndinu waluso podzilungamitsa. Kuti mutha kunyalanyaza kudzipereka kwanu. Kuti mukakopeka mtima mumangofuna kusangalatsa thupi kapena kudzikuza. . . . Kodi mnzanu wachiŵiriyo angadziŵe bwanji kuti simudzanyengekanso?”

[Bokosi patsamba 14]

NZERU YOPEZEKA M’MIYAMBO YA M’BAIBULO

• Miyambo 10:19: “Pochuluka mawu zolakwa sizisoŵeka, koma wokhala chete achita mwanzeru.”

Pamene takhumudwa, tinganene zimene sitinafune kunena—ndipo tingachite nazo chisoni pambuyo pake.

• Miyambo 15:18: “Munthu wozaza aputa makani; koma wosakwiya msanga atonthoza makangano.”

Kuimba mnzanu mlandu ndi mawu okhadzula kungam’chititse kuteteza mbali yake, pamene kumvetsera moleza mtima kungakuthandizeni nonsenu kulimbikira kuthetsa nkhaniyo.

• Miyambo 17:27: “Wopanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziŵa, ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru.”

Ngati tazindikira kuti mkwiyo wathu ukuyamba, ndi bwino kwambiri kukhala chete kuti tipeŵe kulongolozana.

• Miyambo 29:11: “Chitsiru chivumbulutsa mkwiyo wake wonse, koma wanzeru auletsa nautontholetsa.”

Kudziletsa n’kofunika kwambiri. Mawu oŵaŵa aukali angangokudanitsani ndi mnzanuyo.