Kuchokera ku Msewu Wopita ku Imfa Kupita ku Msewu Wopita ku Moyo

KWA zaka zambiri moyo wanga unaipitsidwa ndi kumwerekera kwanga ku anam’goneka. Ndinayamba ndi anam’goneka opanda mphamvu kwenikweni ndi kutha ndi amphamvu koposa, onga ngati LSD. Anam’goneka anadzafikira pa kuphiphiritsa ufulu kuchoka ku mitundu yonse ya mavuto aumwini ndi amayanjano. Momvetsa chisoni, ndinalimbikitsa anthu ena achichepere kutsagana nane pa msewu wopita ku imfa.

Popeza kuti ndinadziŵika monga wogulitsa anam’goneka, ndinali pansi pa chiyang’aniro cha polisi. Ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti ndinali ndi mantha, popeza kuti ndinali kudziŵa kuti kugwidwa kukatanthauza kukhala zaka zingapo m’ndende. Ngakhale kuti ndinakhala mu nsautso, siinali yokwanira kundipanga ine kusintha njira zanga.

Makolo anga anayesera kundithandiza ine mwa kunditengera kunyumba ya odwala maganizo kaamba ka thandizo. Chinayembekezeredwa kuti mankhwala ndi thandizo lolandiridwa kumeneko likathetsa vuto langa, koma mwamsanga pamene ndinatuluka, makolo anga anazindikira kuti osati ngakhale thandizo la mankhwala likanandisintha ine. Iwo anayesera kundithandiza mowonjezereka mwa kundipangitsa ine kulankhula kwa wansembe. Ichinso sichinagwire ntchito. Ndinasuta mbanje ndi kumwa pamaso pake, ngati kuti iye sanalipo. Sindinafune konse kusintha!

Yemwe ndinatomera, Oriana, anali wotsutsa mwamphamvu ku njira yanga ya kakhalidwe, ndipo sindinafune kuti iye andisiye. Pamaso pa icho, ichi chinawoneka kukhala choyambitsa chabwino cha kupanga kusintha. Koma, m’malomwake, ndinapitiriza chizoloŵezi changa cha anam’goneka mwachinsinsi. Ndinapangitsa Oriana kukhulupirira kuti ndinali kudwala. Mwamsanga ndinakhalanso munthu wowonongeka weniweni. Ndinapitiriza kudzilonjeza inemwini kuti ndikasiya, kuti ndikakhoza kuchita icho, koma chinali chosathandiza. Ndinali kokha kupita patsogolo pa msewu wopita ku imfa.

Popeza kuti ndinafuna kukwatira Oriana mwamsanga monga mmene kukanathekera, tinakumana ndi wokongoletsa mkati mwa nyumba kuti agwire ntchito ina m’nyumba yathu. Mkazi wake anali mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova, ndipo analankhula kwa ife ponena za chikhulupiriro chake. Poyamba kukambitsiranako kunapanga chisindikizo chozama pa Oriana kuposa pa ine, koma pamene kunapitiriza, ndinazindikira kuti Mboni za Yehova zimakhulupirira mwamphamvu kuti Mulungu posachedwapa adzapanga dziko lapansi iri kukhala paradaiso ndi kuti anthu adzakhala pano kosatha mu mtendere.

Ndinafuna kudzipezera inemwini ngati chimenechi chinali chowona kuti “ngakhale tsopano Mboni za Yehova zimasonyeza chikondi ndi ulemu kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake,” monga mmene mkaziyo anali ananenera. Chotero Oriana ndi ine tinapita ku Nyumba ya Ufumu. Ndinadzimva wamanyazi chifukwa cha tsitsi langa lalitali ndi zovala zanga zosawoneka bwino, koma kulandira kumene Mboni zinatipatsa ife kunandipangitsa ine kudzimva womasuka pa nthaŵi yomweyo. Ndinadzimva kuti ndingakhulupirire iwo. Chinali chowonekera kuti chikondi chenicheni ndi ulemu kaamba ka wina ndi mnzake zinali kale zenizeni kwa iwo.

Kuyambira pa tsiku limenelo kumka mtsogolo, ndinayamba kupezeka pa misonkhano Yachikritsu mokhazikika, ndipo ndinayamba kuphunzira Baibulo ndi Mboni za Yehova. Ndinameta tsitsi langa ndi kusintha njira yanga ya kavalidwe, ndipo ndi kuyesayesa kokulira, ndinakhoza kuleka kusuta ndi kumwa anam’goneka. (2 Akorinto 7:1) Ngakhale kuli tero, panali vuto lina lalikulu m’moyo wanga. Popanda kuzindikira icho, ndinakhala chidakwa. Pamene ndinamwa, ndinaloŵa m’vuto. Ndinakangana ndi anthu ndi kukhala wansanje koposa ponena za Oriana. Ndinagwera mu mkhalidwe wopanda chimwemwe kwenikweni. (Miyambo 23:29-35) Ndinapanga kuyesayesa kuswa chizoloŵezicho, ndipo ndi thandizo la Yehova, mphamvu ya pemphero, ndi thandizo la abale Achikristu, ndinali wokhoza kuzula chizoloŵezi choipa chimenechi m’moyo wanga.

Mkazi wanga ndi ine tinabatizidwa pa August 23, 1974. Chiyamikiro chipite ku chowonadi, miyoyo yathu tsopano inali ndi tanthauzo. Popeza kuti ndinapezanso kudzidalira kwaumwini, ndinapeza ulemu pa ntchito. Mkazi wanga ndi ine tonse aŵiri tinapanga ndalama zochulukira, koma kenaka tinazindikira kuti tinali ndi nthaŵi yochepera yotsala kaamba ka utumiki wathu wopatulika. Ngati tinafuna kusangalala ndi unansi wathithithi ndi Yehova, tinayenera kupanga masinthidwe m’miyoyo yathu. Kupanda apo, panali ngozi yakuti chikondi chathu choyamba kaamba ka chowonadi chikazilala. Chotero mu 1979 tinayamba kuchita upainiya, kudzipereka ife eni kotheratu ku ntchito yolalikira.

Kodi nchifukwa ninji ndinapanga chigamulo chimenechi? Chabwino, nkuti komwe ndikanakhala lerolino popanda kuwunika kwa chowonadi? Awo omwe anali ndi ine pa msewu wopita ku imfa tsopano ali kaya zidakwa kapena alibenso mabanja kapena ali m’ndende​—kapena anafa. Komabe, unali uthenga wa Baibulo womwe unandimasula ine. Thandizo ndi mphamvu ya kudzifunira zokha sizinali zokwanira. Chisonkhezero champhamvu chinafunikira. Kufunafuna kulimirira ubwenzi wowona ndi Yehova, Mlengi, kunapereka chisonkhezero choterocho. Tsopano, chiri chikhumbo changa chowona mtima kuchita zonse zomwe ndingathe kuthandiza awo omwe ali akapolo a chizoloŵezi cha anam’goneka, limodzinso ndi awo omwe akuvutika kapena kufunafuna njira yotulukira ku mavuto awo. Mwa kugawanamo mokangalika mu utumiki Wachikristu, mkazi wanga ndi ine takhala tikuchita kokha chimenecho. Takhala ndi mwaŵi wa kuthandiza anthu ambiri kuyenda pa msewu wopita ku moyo. Pakati pa awa pali anthu atatu amene mwaumwini ndinawayambitsa ku anam’goneka. Pa nthaŵi ino ndikutumikira monga woyang’anira wadera kumpoto kwa Italy.

Nchowona: Kugwiritsira ntchito molakwa anam’goneka kuli monga msewu womwe mwamsanga kapena pambuyo pake umakutsogolerani ku imfa kapena chifupifupi ku moyo wopanda kanthu wopanda mtsogolo. Mawu amandisowa m’kulongosola chiyamikiro changa kwa Yehova Mulungu! Iye anandisonyeza ine njira yochokera mu mdima womwe ndinali kukhalamo ndi kundilozera ku njira yopita ku moyo, yodzazidwa ndi kuwala, yomwe imatsogolera ku mtsogolo mwamuyaya.​—Monga momwe yasimbidwira ndi Ruggero Polotti.