Mutu 3

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Ndi Woyenera Kuti Ndimange Naye Banja?

Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa:

Kodi ndi zinthu ndiponso makhalidwe ati amene panopa mukufuna kuti munthu wodzamanga naye banja akhale nawo? Pa zimene zili m’munsimu, lembani chizindikiro ichi ✔ pazinthu zinayi zimene mukuona kuti n’zofunika kwambiri.

□ Wokongola □ Wokonda zinthu zauzimu

□ Wochezeka □ Wokhulupirika

□ Wotchuka □ Wakhalidwe labwino

□ Wanthabwala □ Woganizira zam’tsogolo

Pamene munali wamng’ono, kodi munakopekapo ndi munthu wina? Pa zimene zili m’mwambazi, lembani chizindikiro ichi ✘ pachinthu chimodzi chimene chinakukopani kwambiri panthawiyo.

PALIBE cholakwika chilichonse ndi zinthu zimene zili pamwambazi, ndipo chilichonse pachokha chingakope munthu. Komabe, kodi simukuvomereza kuti achinyamata ambiri akakopeka ndi munthu, amatengeka kwambiri ndi zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni ngati zimene zili kumanzerezo?

Koma munthu akamakula, nzeru zake zimakhwima ndipo amayamba kuganizira makhalidwe ofunika kwambiri ngati amene ali kumanjawo. Mwachitsanzo, amazindikira kuti mtsikana wokongola kwambiri m’dera lawo angathe kukhala wosakhulupirika, kapena mnyamata wotchuka kwambiri m’kalasi angathe kukhala wakhalidwe loipa. Ngati munthu wapitirira pachimake pa unyamata, amayamba kuganiza kwambiri za makhalidwe ofunika poyankha funso lakuti, “Kodi munthu ameneyu ndi woyenera kuti ndimange naye banja?”

Dzidziweni Bwino Choyamba

Musanayambe kuganiza za munthu amene angakhale woyenera kumanga naye banja, muyenera kudzidziwa bwino choyamba. Kuti muthe kuchita zimenezi, yankhani mafunso otsatirawa:

Kodi ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene ndili nawo? ․․․․․

Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene sindichita bwino? ․․․․․

Kodi ndikufuna kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga azidzandichitira zotani ndipo ndikufuna kukhala ndi ubwenzi wotani ndi Mulungu? ․․․․․

Kudzidziwa bwino kungakhale kovuta ndithu, koma mafunso ngati amenewa angakuthandizeni. Mukadzidziwa bwino, m’pamene mungathe kupeza munthu wokuyenerani yemwe angakuthandizeni kuti muzichita zinthu zabwino.a Ngati mukuona kuti mwapeza munthu woteroyo, kodi mungatani?

Kodi Ndingangosankha Aliyense?

“Kodi ungakonde kuti tikhale pachibwenzi?” Funso limeneli lingakupangitseni kuipidwa kapena kusangalala ndipo zimenezi zingadalire munthu amene wakufunsiraniyo. Tiyerekezere kuti mwalola. Kodi m’kupita kwanthawi, mungadziwe bwanji kuti mnzanuyo ndi wokuyenerani?

Yerekezerani kuti mukufuna kugula nsapato. Mutalowa m’sitolo mwapeza nsapato zimene zakusangalatsani kwambiri. Koma mukukhumudwa chifukwa mutaziyesa, mukuona kuti zikukuthinani kwambiri. Kodi mungatani? Kodi mungagulebe nsapatozo? Kapena mungayang’ane zina? N’zodziwikiratu kuti mungasiye nsapatozo ndi kuyang’ana zina. Sichingakhale chinthu chanzeru kugula ndi kuvala nsapato zothina.

Zimenezi n’zofanana ndi kupeza munthu woyenera kumanga naye banja. Pamoyo wanu mutha kukopeka ndi anyamata kapena atsikana angapo. Koma sikuti onsewo angakhale okuyenerani. Mosakayikira mungafune munthu amene mungadzakhale naye momasuka, wogwirizana ndi khalidwe lanu ndiponso zolinga zanu. (Genesis 2:18; Mateyo 19:4-6) Kodi munthu wotereyu mwam’peza? Ngati mwam’peza, kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti ndi wokuyenererani?

Onani Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

Kuti mudziwe ngati munthuyo ndi wokuyenererani, ganizirani za moyo wake mofatsa. Koma m’pofunika kusamala chifukwa mungathe kukopeka naye n’kumanyalanyaza kuona zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Musapupulume, yesetsani kuona khalidwe lake lenileni. Kuchita zimenezi kumafuna khama, koma n’zimene muyenera kuchita. Mwachitsanzo, yerekezerani kuti mukufuna kugula galimoto inayake. Kodi mungatani kuti mudziwe ngati galimotoyo ili yabwino? Kodi mungakhutire ndi maonekedwe ake okha? Kodi simungachite bwino kufufuzanso zinthu zina zofunika kwambiri zokhudza galimotoyo, monga kulimba kwa injini yake?

Kusankha munthu womanga naye banja ndi nkhani yaikulu kwambiri kuposa kusankha galimoto. Komabe anthu ambiri akakhala pachibwenzi, safufuza mokwanira za mnzawoyo. M’malo mwake amangotengeka ndi zinthu zimene onse awiri amakonda. Ndipo anganene kuti: ‘Timakonda nyimbo zofanana.’ ‘Timakonda kuchita zinthu zofanana.’ ‘Timagwirizana pa chilichonse.’ Monga taonera, ngati mwapitiriradi pa chimake cha unyamata, mudzayang’ana zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Mudzaona “munthu wa mkati, wa mu mtima.”—1 Petulo 3:4; Aefeso 3:16.

Mwachitsanzo, m’malo mongoona mmene mumagwirizanirana pazinthu zina, mungachite bwino kuona zimene zimachitika mukasemphana maganizo ndipo zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kudziwana bwino. Mwina mungafune kudziwa kuti kodi amangoumirira zake zokha mpaka ‘kupsa mtima’ kapenanso kulankhula “mawu achipongwe”? (Agalatiya 5:19, 20; Akolose 3:8) Kapena kodi iye amasonyeza kuti ndi womvetsa zinthu ndiponso wololera maganizo a anthu ena pofuna kukhazikitsa mtendere, malinga ngati enawo sakuphwanya mfundo za m’Baibulo?—Yakobe 3:17.

Mfundo inanso yofunika kuganizira ndi yakuti: Kodi mnzanuyo ndi wofuna zake zokha, wokonda kulamula kapenanso wansanje? Kodi amafuna kuti muzimuuza chilichonse chimene mukuchita kapena kulikonse kumene mukupita? Mtsikana wina dzina lake Nicole anati: “Ndamvapo za anthu akukangana ali pachibwenzi chifukwa wina sanauze mnzake kumene akupita. Ndikuganiza kuti zikamatere, ndiye kuti pali vuto lalikulu.”—1 Akorinto 13:4.

Mfundo zimene taonazi zikukhudza umunthu ndi khalidwe. Komabe, m’pofunikanso kudziwa mbiri ya mnzanuyo. Kodi anthu ena amamuona bwanji? Mungachite bwino kufunsa anthu odalirika monga amumpingo wake, amene amudziwa munthuyo kwanthawi yaitali. Anthuwo adzakuthandizani kudziwa ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi mbiri yabwino.—Machitidwe 16:1, 2.

Mungadziwe zambiri za mnzanuyo mwa kulemba zimene mwaona. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kudziwa ngati iye akukwanitsa zimene takambiranazi.

Umunthu ․․․․․

Khalidwe ․․․․․

Mbiri ․․․․․

Mungapindulenso mwa kuwerenga bokosi lakuti “Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mwamuna Wabwino?” patsamba 39 kapena lakuti “Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mkazi Wabwino?” patsamba 40. Mafunso amene afunsidwa m’mabokosiwa angakuthandizeni kudziwa ngati mnzanuyo alidi woyenera kumanga naye banja.

Nanga bwanji ngati pambuyo poganiza bwinobwino mwaona kuti mnzanuyo sangakhale woyenera kumanga naye banja? Zikatero, mufunika kudzifunsa kuti:

Kodi Ndithetse Chibwenzichi?

Nthawi zina zingakhale bwino kuthetsa chibwenzi. Taganizirani zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina dzina lake Jill. Iye ananena kuti: “Poyamba zinkandisangalatsa kwambiri kuona kuti bwenzi langa nthawi zonse ankafuna kudziwa kumene ndili, zimene ndikuchita, ndiponso anthu amene ndinali nawo. Koma zinafika poti sankafuna kuti ndizicheza ndi munthu wina koma iye yekha basi. Ndipo ankachita nsanje ngakhale ndikamacheza ndi anthu a m’banja lathu, makamaka bambo anga. Nditathetsa chibwenzicho ndinadzimva ngati kuti ndatula chimtolo cholemetsa.”

Zinthu zoterezi zinam’chitikiranso Sarah. Iye anayamba kuona kuti John, mnyamata amene anali naye pachibwenzi, anali wachipongwe, wovuta ndiponso wamwano. Sarah anati: “Tsiku lina mnzangayo anafika kwathu atachedwa ndi maola atatu. Amayi anga atamutsegulira chitseko anangowanyalanyaza n’kundiuza kuti: ‘Tiye tizipita! Tachedwa.’ Iye sananene kuti ‘Ndachedwa,’ koma ‘Tachedwa.’ Iye anafunikira kupepesa kapena kufotokoza chifukwa chimene wachedwera. Komanso anayenera kuwapatsa ulemu amayi anga.” N’zoona kuti kuchita chinthu chokhumudwitsa kamodzi kokha kapena ngati munthuyo ali ndi khalidwe lina lokhumudwitsa si ndiye kuti chibwenzi chanu chithe. (Salmo 130:3) Koma Sarah atazindikira kuti John anali wamwano ndiponso kuti limeneli linalidi khalidwe lake, anasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho.

Mofanana ndi Jill ndi Sarah, kodi mungatani ngati mwazindikira kuti munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi sadzakhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino? Zitakero, musanyalanyaze maganizo anuwo. Zingakhale bwino kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ngakhale kuti kuchita zimenezi n’kovuta. Lemba la Miyambo 22:3 limati: “Wochenjera aona zoipa, nabisala.” Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanuyo akusonyeza chizindikiro chimodzi kapena zingapo zopezeka pa masamba 39 ndi 40 zosonyeza kuti pali vuto lalikulu, muyenera kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ngati mnzanuyo sakusintha. N’zoona kuti kuthetsa chibwenzi n’kovuta. Koma ukwati ndi mgwirizano wa moyo wonse. Choncho ndi bwino kuvutika maganizo kwa nthawi yochepa panopa, kusiyana ndi kuti mudzavutike maganizo kwa moyo wanu wonse.

Mmene Mungamuuzire

Kodi mungathetse bwanji chibwenzicho? Choyamba, sankhani malo ndi nthawi yabwino kuti mukambirane zimenezi. Kodi malo ndi nthawi yabwino zingakhale ziti? Ganizirani zimene inuyo mungakonde kuti akuchitireni zitakhala kuti akuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mnzanuyo. (Mateyo 7:12) Kodi mungakonde kukuuzirani pagulu? Ayi. Mungachite nkhanza kwambiri ngati mutathetsa chibwenzicho pafoni, kumulembera uthenga pafoni yam’manja, kapena kumutumizira uthenga pakompyuta, pokhapokha ngati pali zifukwa zomveka zochitira zimenezo. Choncho sankhani nthawi ndi malo abwino kuti mukambirane zimenezi.

Kodi mungaiyambe bwanji nkhaniyi? Mtumwi Paulo analimbikitsa Akhristu ‘kulankhula zoona’ wina ndi mnzake. (Aefeso 4:25) Choncho njira yabwino ndiyo kulankhula mosamala koma motsimikiza mtima. Fotokozani mosapita m’mbali chifukwa chimene inuyo mukuonera kuti chibwenzicho chithe. Simufunikira kumuyalira zolakwa zake zonse kapena kunena zinthu zambirimbiri zomunyoza. M’malo monena kuti, “Suchita” zakutizakuti kapena “Sunachitepo” zakutizakuti, zingakhale bwino kugwiritsa ntchito mawu osonyeza mmene inuyo mukumvera, monga akuti “Ineyo ndimafuna munthu amene . . . ” kapena “Ndikuona kuti chibwenzi chithe chifukwa chakuti . . . ”

Imeneyi si nthawi yolankhula mokayikira kapena yololera maganizo a mnzanuyo. Kumbukirani kuti mwasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho chifukwa chakuti pali vuto lalikulu. Choncho samalani ngati mnzanuyo akuchita zinthu kapena kulankhula mochenjera ndi cholinga choti musinthe maganizo. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Lori ananena kuti, “Nditathetsa chibwenzi, mnyamatayo anayamba kuchita zinthu ngati wasokonezeka maganizo kwambiri. Ndinadziwa kuti ankachita zimenezo kuti ndimumvere chisoni. Ngakhale kuti ndinamumveradi chisoni, sindinasinthe maganizo chifukwa cha zimenezo.” Mofanana ndi Lori, tsimikizirani kuti musasinthe zimene mwasankha. Mukati ayi akhaledi ayi.—Yakobe 5:12.

Zimene Zingachitike Mutathetsa Chibwenzi

Sizachilendo kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri pambuyo pothetsa chibwenzi. Mwinanso mungamve ngati mmene anamvera wamasalmo amene anati: “Ndapindika, ndawerama kwakukulu; ndimayenda woliralira tsiku lonse.” (Salmo 38:6) Anzanu ena okufunirani zabwino angayese kukuthandizani mwa kukulimbikitsani kuti muyambirenso chibwenzicho. Koma samalani. Inuyo ndi amene mungadzavutike mukayambiranso chibwenzicho, osati anzanuwo. Choncho musalole kusintha maganizo, ngakhale kuti mungamve chisoni ndithu.

Dziwani kuti m’kupita kwanthawi chisonicho chidzatha. Koma panthawi imeneyi yesani kuchita zinthu ngati zotsatirazi, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupirira.

Fotokozani maganizo anu kwa munthu amene mumamukhulupirira.b (Miyambo 15:22) Pempherani kwa Yehova za nkhaniyo. (Salmo 55:22) Yesetsani kukhala wotanganidwa ndi zinthu zina. (1 Akorinto 15:58) Musamadzipatule. (Miyambo 18:1) Chitani zinthu ndi anthu ena amene angakulimbikitseni. Yesetsani kumaganiza zinthu zolimbikitsa zokhazokha.—Afilipi 4:8.

Patapita nthawi, mwina mungadzapeze chibwenzi china. Zikadzatero, mudzatha kuona zinthu bwinobwino chifukwa chakuti mwaphunzirapo kanthu. Mwinamwake nthawi imeneyo, mukadzadzifunsa kuti “Kodi munthu ameneyu ndi woyenera kuti ndimange naye banja?” mudzayankha kuti, inde!

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 31

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Ngakhale mwana adziwika ndi ntchito zake; ngati ntchito yake ili yoyera ngakhale yolungama.”—Miyambo 20:11.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Chitani zinthu zotsatirazi zimene zingasonyeze makhalidwe anu enieni:

● Phunzirani Mawu a Mulungu pamodzi.

● Onani mmene mnzanuyo amachitira zinthu pamisonkhano ya mpingo ndi muutumiki.

● Gwirani nawo ntchito yoyeretsa ndiponso yomanga Nyumba za Ufumu.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti maukwati a anthu osiyana zipembedzo nthawi zambiri amatha.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Nditakopeka ndi munthu wosakhulupirira, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Kuti ndidziwe zambiri za khalidwe la munthu amene ndili naye pachibwenzi, ndingachite izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi muli ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene angadzathandize muukwati wanu?

● Kodi ndi makhalidwe abwino ati amene mungakonde kuti mnzanu woti mudzamange naye banja akhale nawo?

● Kodi pangakhale mavuto otani ngati mutakwatirana ndi munthu wosiyana naye chipembedzo?

● Kodi mungatani kuti mudziwe za khalidwe ndi mbiri ya munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 37]

“Mmene munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi amachitira zinthu ndi achibale ake ndi mmenenso azidzachitira zinthu ndi inuyo.”​—Anatero Tony

[Bokosi patsamba 34]

“Musamangidwe M’goli ndi Osakhulupirira”

Mosakayikira, mumaona kuti mfundo ya pa 2 Akorinto 6:14, yakuti, “musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupirira,” ndi yothandiza. Ngakhale zili choncho, mungathe kukopeka ndi munthu wosakhulupirira. Chifukwa chiyani? Nthawi zina mungangokopeka ndi kukongola kwake. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Mark anati: “Panali mtsikana wina amene nthawi zonse ndinali kukumana naye kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi. Nthawi zonse, mtsikanayu ankayesetsa kuti tizilankhulana. Zinali zosavuta kuti tiyambe kugwirizana.”

Pazochitika ngati zimenezi, mungathe kuchita zinthu mwanzeru ngati mukudzidziwa bwino, mumadalira kwambiri mfundo za m’Baibulo komanso ngati mumachita zinthu mozindikira, osati chifukwa chongotengeka maganizo. Kunena zoona, munthu amene mungakopeke nayeyo, kaya akhale wokongola kapena wooneka ngati wamakhalidwe abwino, sadzakuthandizani kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu.—Yakobe 4:4.

N’zoona kuti ngati mwayamba chibwenzi, n’zovuta kuchithetsa. Zimenezi n’zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina dzina lake Cindy. Iye anati: “Ndinkalira tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndinkangoganiza za mnyamatayo nthawi zonse, ngakhale pamisonkhano yachikhristu. Ndinkamukonda kwambiri moti ndinkaganiza kuti kuli bwino kufa kusiyana ndi kuthetsa chibwenzicho.” Posapita nthawi, Cindy anaona kuti malangizo amene amayi ake anamupatsa, onena za kuipa kochita chibwenzi ndi munthu wosakhulupirira, anali anzeru. Iye anati: “Ndikusangalala kuti ndinathetsa chibwenzicho. Sindikukayikira kuti Yehova adzandipatsa chilichonse chimene ndikufuna.”

Kodi zimene zinachitikira Cindy inunso zikukuchitikirani? Ngati ndi choncho, musayese kuthana nalo nokha vuto limenelo. Auzeni makolo anu zimenezi. Izi n’zimene Jim anachita atakopeka ndi mtsikana wina kusukulu. Iye anati: “Patapita nthawi, ndinauza makolo anga kuti andithandize. Izi zinandithandiza kwambiri kuchotsa maganizo olakwikawo.” Akulu kumpingo angathenso kukuthandizani. Bwanji osalankhula ndi mmodzi wa iwo ndi kumufotokozera zimene mukukumana nazo?—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 39]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mwamuna Wabwino?

Zinthu Zofunika Zokhudza Khalidwe Lake

◻ Kodi amasamalira bwanji udindo uliwonse umene ali nawo?—Mateyo 20:25, 26.

◻ Kodi zolinga zake n’zotani?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

◻ Kodi panopa akuchita chilichonse kuti akwaniritse zolingazo?—1 Akorinto 9:26, 27.

◻ Kodi anthu a m’banja lake amakhala nawo bwanji?—Eksodo 20:12.

◻ Kodi anzake ndi otani?—Miyambo 13:20.

◻ Kodi amakonda kukamba nkhani zotani?—Luka 6:45.

◻ Kodi maganizo ake ndi otani pankhani ya ndalama?—Aheberi 13:5, 6.

◻ Kodi amakonda kusangalala ndi zinthu zotani?—Salmo 97:10.

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti amakonda Yehova?—1 Yohane 5:3.

Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

◻ Kodi ndi wolimbikira ntchito?—Miyambo 6:9-11.

◻ Kodi amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama?—Luka 14:28.

◻ Kodi ali ndi mbiri yabwino?—Machitidwe 16:1, 2.

◻ Kodi ndi munthu woganizira ena?—Afilipi 2:4.

Zinthu Zofunika Kusamala Nazo

◻ Kodi amapsa mtima msanga?—Miyambo 22:24.

◻ Kodi amakuumirizani kuchita zinthu zosayenera zokhudza kugonana?—Agalatiya 5:19.

◻ Kodi ndi wandewu kapenanso wolalata?—Aefeso 4:31.

◻ Kodi amaona kuti sangasangalale akapanda kumwa mowa?—Miyambo 20:1.

◻ Kodi ndi wansanje kapenanso wodzikonda?—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 40]

Zimene Munalemba

Kodi Munthu Ameneyu Angadzakhale Mkazi Wabwino?

Zinthu Zofunika Zokhudza Khalidwe Lake

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti ndi wogonjera m’banja lawo ndiponso mumpingo?—Aefeso 5:21, 22.

◻ Kodi anthu a m’banja lake amakhala nawo bwanji?—Eksodo 20:12.

◻ Kodi anzake ndi otani?—Miyambo 13:20.

◻ Kodi amakonda kulankhula za chiyani?—Luka 6:45.

◻ Kodi maganizo ake ndi otani pankhani ya ndalama?—1 Yohane 2:15-17.

◻ Kodi ali ndi zolinga zotani?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

◻ Kodi panopa akuchita chilichonse kuti akwaniritse zolingazo?—1 Akorinto 9:26, 27.

◻ Kodi amakonda kusangalala ndi zinthu zotani?—Salmo 97:10.

◻ Kodi amasonyeza bwanji kuti amakonda Yehova?—1 Yohane 5:3.

Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri

◻ Kodi ndi wolimbikira ntchito?—Miyambo 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.

◻ Kodi amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama?—Miyambo 31:16, 18.

◻ Kodi ali ndi mbiri yabwino?—Rute 3:11.

◻ Kodi ndi munthu woganizira ena?—Miyambo 31:20.

Zinthu Zofunika Kusamala Nazo

◻ Kodi ndi wolongolola?—Miyambo 21:19.

◻ Kodi amakuumirizani kuchita zinthu zosayenera zokhudza kugonana?—Agalatiya 5:19.

◻ Kodi ndi wolalata kapenanso wandewu?—Aefeso 4:31.

◻ Kodi amaona kuti sangasangalale akapanda kumwa mowa?—Miyambo 20:1.

◻ Kodi ndi wansanje kapenanso wodzikonda?—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Sikuti mungavale saizi iliyonse ya nsapato. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi munthu womanga naye banja, sikuti aliyense ndi wokuyenererani

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Pogula galimoto sikuti mungayang’ane kukongola kwake kokha, koma mungayang’anenso mbali zina zofunika. Ndiye kuli bwanji posankha munthu womanga naye banja?