Kugutsikana Nokuva Amai
MUPASI rose nhasi, vakadzi vakawanda vanoenda kumabasa. Munyika dzakabudirira, nhamba yevakadzi vanoshanda yakaenzana neyevarume. Munyika dzichiri kusimukira, vakadzi vanowanzofondoka kwemaawa akawanda vachirima kuti vabatsire kuriritira mhuri dzavo.
Vakadzi vakawanda vane mwoyo miviri, vanoda kushanda kuti vawane mari uyewo vanoda kutarisira mhuri dzavo nemisha yavo. Vakadzi ava havangoshandi kuti vawane mari yokutenga zvokudya, zvokupfeka uye pokugara, asiwo vanobika zvokudya, kuwacha mbatya uye kuchenesa pamba.
Uyezve, vanaamai vechiKristu vanoedza kudzidzisa vana vavo kuti vave noukama hwakasimba naMwari. Cristina, amai vevanasikana vaduku vaviri, vanobvuma vachiti: “Kutaura chokwadi, zvakaoma chaizvo kuenda kubasa uku uchifanira kutarisira mhuri, kunyanya kana uine vana vaduku. Hazvisi nyore kupa vana nguva yose yavanoda.”
Chii chinotuma vanaamai kuti vaende kubasa? Vanotarisana nezvinetso zvipi? Amai vanofanira kuenda kubasa here kuti vagutsikane?
Chinoita Kuti Vanaamai Vaende Kubasa
Kuna vanaamai vakawanda kuenda kubasa chinhu chinokosha zvikuru. Vamwe havana varume vanovabatsira kuwana mari yokuriritira mhuri. Vakaroorana vakawanda vanoona kuti kana munhu mumwe chete achienda kubasa, mari yacho haizokwani kutarisira mhuri.
Chokwadi, havazi vose vanaamai vanoenda kubasa nemhaka yokutsvaka mari. Vanoverengeka vanoshanda kuti vaonekwe somunhu pane vamwe vanhu. Vamwe vanoshanda kuti vawane simba rokutaura kuti mari inofanira kushandiswa sei. Vamwe ingwere pabasa ravo uye vanozvifarira.
Chitevedzerwa chinogona kuvawo chimwe chinhu chinoita kuti vamwe vanaamai vanzwe vachida kuenda kubasa. Kunyange zvazvo vanhu vakawanda vachibvuma kuti vanaamai vanoshanda vanogara vachirwisa kushungurudzika uye kuneta, vaya vanosarudza kusaenda kubasa kazhinji havanzwisiswi nevamwe, vanotosekwa. Mumwe mukadzi akabvuma kuti, “Hazvisi nyore kutsanangurira vamwe kuti ‘unongova amai vemba.’ Vamwe vanhu vanotaura nechibhende kana kuzviratidza nechiso chavo kuti uri kutambisa upenyu hwako.” Vamwe amai vanonzi Rebeca, vane mwanasikana ane makore maviri vanoti: “Kunyange zvazvo munzanga yatinogara zvichizivikanwa kuti vakadzi vanofanira kutarisira vana, ndinoona sokuti vanaamai vasingashandi vanotarisirwa pasi.”
Ngano neChokwadi
Mudzimwe nzvimbo mupasi rino, mapepanhau, maredhiyo uye maTV zvinoti “mukadzi chaiye” anenge akabudirira pabasa rake, achibhadharwa mazakwatira emari, achiuraya mucheno uye achizvivimba chaizvo. Paanosvika kumba, anenge achikwanisa kugadzirisa zvinetso zvevana vake, kugadzirisa zvinenge zvakanganiswa nomurume wake uye kugadzirisa chinetso chipi zvacho chepamba chingamuka. Kutaura zvazviri, vakadzi vashoma vanokwanisa kurarama seizvi.
Chaizvoizvo, mabasa akawanda anoshandwa nevakadzi anonetesa uye kazhinji haana mari. Vakadzi vakawanda vanoshanda vanoodzwa mwoyo nokuti basa racho hariiti kuti vashandise unyanzvi hwavo zvizere. Bhuku rinonzi Social Psychology rinoti: “Pasinei nokubudirira kuti vave vakaenzana nevarume, varume vanongoramba vachiwana mabasa ane mari uye ane chinzvimbo chakakwirira. Vakadzi vanoda kushandisa basa ravo kuti vaonekwe havagutsikani.” Pepanhau rokuSpain rinonzi El País rinoti: “Kana vari vakadzi, zvakaonekwa kuti vari pangozi yokushungurudzika nemhaka yokuzvidya mwoyo kupfuura varume kakapetwa katatu, nokuti vazhinji vavo vanoshanda kaviri, kubasa uye kumba.”
Kubatsira Kungaita Varume
Chokwadi, mudzimai wechiKristu ndiye anozvisarudzira kuti oshanda here kana kuti kwete. Zvisinei, kana akaroorwa, iye nomurume wake vanofanira kuzosarudza kudaro kana vambokurukura nezvenyaya yacho voona zvinhu zvose zvinobatanidzwa.—Zvirevo 14:15.
Zvakadini kana murume nomudzimai vakasarudza kuti vose vanofanira kuenda kubasa nemhaka yokuti vari kungoda mari? Kana zvakadaro, murume akangwara achateerera zano reBhaibheri rinoti: “Imi varume munofanira kuratidza kuti munonzwisisa muupenyu hwenyu hwemhuri: remekedzai vakadzi venyu, kwete chete nokuti havana kusimba, asiwo nokuti muri kuwana pamwe chete chipo choupenyu chinobva kuna Mwari.” (1 Petro 3:7, The Revised English Bible) Murume anoratidza kuti anoremekedza mukadzi wake paanenge ane hanya nezvaasingakwanisi kuita nesimba rake kana kuti mumanzwiro ake. Pose pazvinobvira, anobatsira mudzimai wake kuita mabasa epamba. SaJesu, murume anozvininipisa anoratidza kuti anoda kuita tumabasa tuduku, kwete kuramba tumabasa itwotwo achiti ndetwevakadzi. (Johani 13:12-15) Asi, achaona kuti kuita tumabasa utwu mukana wokuratidza rudo kumukadzi wake anobishaira. Mudzimai achaonga rubatsiro rwakadaro.—VaEfeso 5:25, 28, 29.
Pasina mubvunzo, kana murume nomukadzi vachizoenda kubasa, zvinokosha kuti vashande pamwe chete pamba. Pfungwa iyi yakakomekedzwa munyaya yakabuda mupepanhau rokuSpain rinonzi ABC. Nyaya yacho payaitaura nezvokutsvakurudza kwakaitwa nesangano rinonzi Institute of Family Matters yakashora kurambana kuri kuwedzera muSpain ichiti hakusi kukonzerwa no“kushayikwa kwemitemo yechitendero uye yetsika” chete, asiwo pane zvimwe zviviri, “kuenda kubasa kuri kuitwa nevakadzi uye kutadza kwevarume kubatsira pakuita mabasa epamba.”
Basa Rinokosha Raamai vechiKristu
Kunyange zvazvo Jehovha akati vanababa ndivo vane basa guru pakudzidzisa vana, vanaamai vechiKristu vanoziva kuti vakapiwawo basa rinokosha, kunyanya kana mwana achiri mucheche. (Zvirevo 1:8; VaEfeso 6:4) Jehovha aitaura navo vose vanaamai nanababa paaidzidzisa vaIsraeri kuroverera Mutemo muvana vavo. Aiziva kuti basa iri raizoda nguva uye raizoda kushivirira, zvikuru-kuru panguva iya mwana paanotanga kuratidza unhu. Nemhaka yeizvi, Mwari akaudza vabereki kuti vanofanira kudzidzisa vana vavo kana vari pamba, pavanofamba, pavanomuka uye pavanorara.—Dheuteronomio 6:4-7.
Shoko raMwari rinoti basa ravanaamai rinokosha uye rinofanira kuremekedzwa parinorayira vana kuti: “Usasiya mutemo waamai vako.” (Zvirevo 6:20) Chokwadi, mukadzi akaroorwa anotanga akurukura nomurume wake asati apa vana mitemo. Asi sezvataurwa nendima iyi, vanaamai vanogona kugadza mitemo. Uye vana vanotevedzera nomwoyo wose mitemo yokunamata uye yetsika yavanodzidziswa naamai vanotya Mwari vachabatsirwa zvikuru. (Zvirevo 6:21, 22) Amai vanonzi Teresa vane vanakomana vaviri vaduku vanotsanangura kuti nei vasingatsvaki basa. Vanoti: “Basa rinokosha randiinaro nderokurera vana vangu kuti vashumire Mwari. Ndinoda kuita basa iri nepandinogona napo.”
Vanaamai Vakaratidza Kuti Vanokosha
Zviri pachena kuti Mambo Remueri weIsraeri akabatsirwa nokunyatsongwarira kwaamai vake. “Shoko guru” ravakamupa “vachimururamisa” rakabatanidzwa muShoko rakafuridzirwa raMwari. (Zvirevo 31:1; 2 Timoti 3:16) Matsananguriro anoita amai ava mudzimai anokwanisa, achiri kubatsira vanakomana kuti vasarudze nokuchenjera munhu wokuzoroora. Nyevero yavanopa nezvounzenza uye kudhakwa ichiri kushanda nhasi sezvayaiita payakatanga kunyorwa.—Zvirevo 31:3-5, 10-31.
Muzana remakore rokutanga, muapostora Pauro akarumbidza basa rakanaka rakanga raitwa naamai vanonzi Yunisi pakurera mwanakomana wavo Timoti. Yunisi aifanira kunyengetedza Timoti kuti ave nokutenda mu“zvinyorwa zvitsvene,” sezvo murume wake akanga asinganamati Jehovha angangodaro ainamata vanamwari vechiGiriki. Yunisi akatanga rini kudzidzisa Timoti Magwaro? Nhoroondo yakafuridzirwa inotaura kuti akatanga “kubvira paucheche,” nemamwe mashoko kubvira Timoti achiri rusvava. (2 Timoti 1:5; 3:14, 15) Zviri pachena kuti kutenda kwaYunisi, muenzaniso wake, kunyange zvaaidzidzisa, zvakaita kuti Timoti azokwanisa kuita basa roumishinari.—VaFiripi 2:19-22.
Bhaibheri rinotaurawo nezvevanaamai vaiva nomutsa kuvashumiri vaMwari vakavimbika uye zvakaita kuti vana vavo vaone mienzaniso yakanaka yokutevedzera muupenyu hwavo. Somuenzaniso, mukadzi wokuShunemi aigara achigamuchira muprofita Erisha pamba pake. Mwanakomana wake akazomutswa kubva kuvakafa naErisha. (2 Madzimambo 4:8-10, 32-37) Chimbofungawo nezvaMaria, amai vomunyori weBhaibheri Mako. Zvinoita sokuti vakazarura musha wavo muJerusarema kuti uve nzvimbo yokuunganira yevadzidzi vokutanga. (Mabasa 12:12) Hapana mubvunzo kuti Mako akabatsirwa nokushamwaridzana nevaapostora uye nevamwe vaKristu vaigara vachiuya kumba kwake.
Zviri pachena kuti Jehovha anokoshesa zvikuru basa rinoitwa nevakadzi vakavimbika vanodzidzisa vana vavo mitemo yake. Anoda vakadzi ava nokuti vakavimbika uye zvavanoita kuti mhuri yavo ifarire kunamata.—2 Samueri 22:26; Zvirevo 14:1.
Chisarudzo Chinogutsa Kupfuura Zvimwe
Sezvaratidzwa nemienzaniso yomuMagwaro iri pamusoro apo, kutarisira zvakanaka zvinodiwa nemhuri mumuviri, mune zvokunamata uye mupfungwa kunounza mibayiro yako. Asi pane mutambo. Kazhinji zvinoita sokuti basa raamai repamba rine zvakawanda zvarinoda kupfuura basa rachamangwiza pakambani.
Ndezvechokwadi kuti kana amai vakasarudza kupedza nguva shoma kubasa kwavo, vatanga vanzwa kuti murume wavo anoti kudini, mhuri yavo inofanira kurega zvimwe zvinhu zvainoshandisa pakurarama uye ivo vachafanira kutsungirira kushorwa nevaya vanenge vasinganzwisisi zvavanenge vasarudza. Asi mibayiro yavanowana haimboenzani nezvavanenge vakasiya. Paqui ndiamai vane vana vatatu uye vanofanira kupota vachienda kubasa. Anoti: “Ndinoda kuvapo vana pavanodzoka kumba vachibva kuchikoro kuitira kuti vawane mumwe munhu wokutaura naye.” Vana vake vanobatsirwa sei? Anoti, “Ndinovabatsira kuita basa rokuchikoro rinoitirwa kumba, uye kana pakaita zvinonetsa, ndinobva ndazvigadzirisa ipapo. Nguva yatinopedza tiri tose inotibatsira kuti tisununguke kutaurirana. Ndinokoshesa chaizvo nguva iyi yandinopedza ndine vana vangu zvokuti ndakaramba basa randakanga ndawana raida kuti ndishande nguva dzose.”
Vanaamai vechiKristu vakawanda vakaona kuti kana vakagona kupedza nguva shoma vari kubasa, zvinobatsira mhuri yose. Cristina ambotaurwa anotsanangura kuti: “Pandakarega kuenda kubasa, zvinoita sokuti zvinetso mumhuri yangu zvakaita zvishoma. Ndaiva nenguva yokutaura nevana vangu uye yokubatsira murume wangu nenzira dzakawanda. Ndakatanga kunakidzwa nokudzidzisa vanasikana vangu, ndichivaona vachinzwisisa uye vachiwedzera unyanzvi.” Pane chiitiko chimwe chete chisingakanganwiki naCristina. “Dangwe rangu rakatanga kudzidzira kufamba riri kukireshi, asi ndakadzidzisa ndoga mwana wangu wechipiri kufamba ndiri kumba. Akatanga kuita nhanho dzake dzokutanga ndokudonhera mumaoko angu chaiwo. Nguva iyoyo inoita kuti ndigutsikane zvikuru!”
Chimwe chinhu chokufunga nezvacho ndechokuti mari yamunorasikirwa nayo ishoma zvikuru kana amai vakarega kuenda kubasa. Cristina anotsanangura kuti: “Mari yaidiwa kukireshi kwomwana uye yokufambisa yaive yakawanda zvokutora chikamu chakakura chemari yandaitambira. Patakanyatsoongorora mamiriro edu ezvinhu, takaona kuti basa rangu rakanga risina mari yakawanda yaraiwedzera pamba.”
Vaongorora mamiriro avo ezvinhu, vakaroorana vakawanda vakaona kuti zviri nani kuti mudzimai aswere achitarisira mhuri pane kuti aswere ari kubasa. Paul, murume waCristina anoti: “Ndinofara kuti mudzimai wangu anogona kugara pamba achitarisira vana vedu vaduku vaviri. Zvaishungurudza zvikuru pataienda kubasa tose tiri vaviri.” Zvavakasarudza izvi zvakabatsira sei vanasikana vavo vaviri? Paul anoti: “Havangonzwi vakachengeteka chete, asi vari kudzivirirwa chaizvo kuzvinhu zvakaipa zvinoitika mumakore okutanga.” Nei vakaroorana ava vachinzwa kuti zvinokosha zvikuru kupedza nguva yakawanda sezvingabvira nevanasikana vavo? Paul anopindura kuti: “Ndine chokwadi chokuti kana isu vabereki tikasaita setiri kunyora mumwoyo yevana vedu, pane mumwe achazonyora.”
Zviri pachena kuti mhuri imwe neimwe inofanira kuongorora mamiriro ayo ezvinhu uye hapana anofanira kushora zvinenge zvasarudzwa nevamwe. (VaRoma 14:4; 1 VaTesaronika 4:11) Zvisinei, zvakangonaka kumbofunga nezvezvakanaka zvinowanikwa nemhuri kana amai vakasaswera kubasa. Achipfupikisa manzwiro ake panyaya iyi, Teresa ambotaura pakutanga anoti: “Hapana chinoita kuti ndigutsikane kupfuura kupedza nguva yangu yakawanda sezvingabvira ndichitarisira uye ndichidzidzisa vana vangu.”—Pisarema 127:3.
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 31]
Vanaamai vechiKristu vanewo basa rinokosha rokurovedza vana vavo