Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndenze Ntoni Ukuba Yena Akaluhoyanga Uthando Lwam?

“Intliziyo yam ilihlwili. Ndiyamthanda. Kodwa andazi ukuba yena ucinga ntoni ngam. Ndenze ntoni bethu? Ndimxelele ukuba ndiyamthanda? Hayi, yhuu, soze! Kuza kuthiwa nditheni?”—UHuda.a

INTOMBAZANA yaseLebanon, uHuda, yayithanda umntu owayengaluhoyanga uthando lwayo. Asinto intsha ke leyo. Enye intombazana ekuthiwa nguZeina, yafumana kanye loo nto. Ikhumbula oku: “Ndandimbona suku ngalunye kuba wayehlala elumelwaneni. Wayeyinzwana ethi ndijonge. Ngoko ndazibona sele ndimthanda.”

Kakade ke, akulonyala ukungaziva kukuthanda umntu othile—ukuba lowo ngumntu okufanelekelayo ukutshata nomKristu. (IMizekeliso 5:15; 1 Korinte 7:39) Kungelilo nenyala ukuba intombazana ifune ukutshata ize ibe nentsapho. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba lo mntu umthandayo ufanelekile kodwa akayazi—okanye akayihoyanga—indlela ovakalelwa ngayo?

Into Ebuhlungu Ngokungaziva Luthando

NjengoHuda, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uxakiwe, ingqondo ithath’ ibeka. Amaphaphu asenokukhawuleza abe bephezulu kodwa uphinde uthi nyoxo ubande. UZeina wathi: “Ndandiba yeyona ntombi yonwabileyo aph’ emhlabeni, ndize maxa wambi ndibe yeyona idakumbileyo.” Xa uthando lwakho lungahoywa, uyanxunguphala, bungehli ubuthongo ude udandatheke.

KwiMizekeliso 13:12, iBhayibhile ithi: “Ukulindela okubanjezelweyo kubulala intliziyo.” Ibe ukhubek’ intliziyo ibe ncinci xa izinto zingaphumi kweli cala ubulilindele! Kusenokuba uhleli nje ucinga ngalo mntu, ufuna kusoloko kuthethwa ngaye. Usenokuzama iindlela zokutsal’ amehlo akhe okanye uzame nje iindlela ezingacacanga zokuba kunye naye. Ibe xa ukunye naye uyamaya-mayaza ungazi ukuba mawenze ntoni na kanye.

Unokudideka maxa wambi xa enikela ingqalelo kuwe uze umbone ukuba akanamdla tu kuwe maxa wambi. Xa esiba nomdla komnye umntu okanye ebenzela ububele aze abonakalise ubuntu kwabanye, ikwenza umona loo nto. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ubujorha bunobushushu, umsindo sisiphango; nekhwele, ngubani na onokuma phambi kwalo?”—IMizekeliso 27:4.

UHuda wavuma ngelithi: “Kwakuthi mandife ngumona kangangokuba ndaqonda ukuba, ukuba andizibambi ndiza kuphambana ndibe leliya liqalayo igeza.” Ungaphela sele ungazixabisanga. Kaloku uHuda wathi: “Ndazisola ngokuthanda umntu ongandihoyanga nangokuzintlonda.”

Nangona kumazwe aseNtshona kuyinto elula ngentombazana ukuya kuzibika emfaneni, akulula kuwo onke amantombazana ukwenza loo nto. Ibe kwezinye iindawo, ngamanyal’ enyoka yaye ishiya abantu bebamb’ ongezantsi kaloku into yokuba intombazana yenze loo nto. Ngoko, uza kuyithini into yokuthanda umntu ongaluhoyanga uthando lwakho?

Ukuphonononga Indlela Ovakalelwa Ngayo

Okokuqala, zama ukuthob’ umxhelo uze uyiphonononge kakuhle le ndlela uvakalelwa ngayo. IBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelithi: “Okholose ngeyakhe intliziyo usisidenge.” (IMizekeliso 28:26) Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba intliziyo yethu yasoloko isikhohlisa. (Yeremiya 17:9) Ibe le nto ucinga ukuba luthando wena isenokuba yeny’ into. UHuda wavuma ngelithi: “Ndandifuna umntu oza kundihoya aze andithande. Ndandifuna umntu oza kundithanda aze andinyamekele. Ndikhule ndingayazi into ekuthiwa kukuthandwa. Yandikruna gqitha loo nto.” Ukuba ukhulele kwintsapho engenaluthando nexhaphazayo, usenokuba nawe ukufuna nyhani ukuthandwa nokukhathalelwa. Kodwa ngaba ngokwenene ukuthandana kuyayicombulula le meko?

Ngelishwa ke, abantu abangonwabanga nabangamalolo badla ngokuba ngamaqabane omtshato angakhululekanga. Batshata beneqikili lokuba baza kufumana into ebekukudala beyifuna. Noko ke, wonwaba gqitha xa usipha, kungekhona xa usamkela. (IZenzo 20:35) Ibe ibhinqa liwuxhobela ngakumbi umtshato xa lanelisekile yindlela eliyiyo lize ‘liphose iliso, kungekhona kwizilangazelelo zobuqu kwimibandela nje yalo, kodwa nakwizilangazelelo zobuqu kuleyo yabanye.’—Filipi 2:4.

Ukuba uthe tii kukutshata, unokukhawuleza uthi swii kukusondela nje komntu wesini esahlukileyo. Maxa wambi intombazana idla ngokuphenjelelwa ngabahlobo nentsapho ukuba ithandane. Kwezinye iindawo kugxininiswa kakhulu ekubeni intombazana ifanele itshate ukufikelela nje kwayo exabisweni lokutshata. Incwadi ethi Women in the Middle East ithi: “Lithi ibhinqa lakusondela kwiminyaka engamashumi amathathu ubudala lingekatshati, iqal’ ibhekabheke intsapho yakowalo.” Ngenxa yesidima sentsapho, ubawo usenokuzama ukuzitshatisa iintombi zakhe ziselula kangangoko kunokwenzeka.

Sekunjalo, imigaqo yeBhayibhile iza kuqala kunezithethe. Ibe iZibhalo zibongoza abantu abaselula ukuba balinde de ‘badlule entlahleni yobutsha’ ngaphambi kokuba batshate. (1 Korinte 7:36) Ngoko, kuthekani ukuba abahlobo okanye abazali bakho bayintw’ ibila phezu kwakho bekuqhubel’ ekubeni utshate? IBhayibhile isibalisela ngentombi engumShulamikazi eyoyik’ uThixo eyawaxelel’ ezinkonkxeni amaqabane ayo ukuba ‘angaluvusi uthando, angaluvuseleli uthando kuyo, lude luthande.’ (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 2:7) Mhlawumbi ukuthetha phandle ngendlela efanayo kuya kukunceda, ingakumbi ukuba abazali bakho bayamoyika uThixo.

Ukujamelana Nezinto Ngobunjalo Bazo

Kusafuneka ujamelene nezinto ngobunjalo bazo ngokuphathelele lo mntu umthandayo. Ukwenza oko kusenokungabi yondlwan’ iyanetha, ibe kunokuyishiya intliziyo ilihlwili. Kodwa iZibhalo zisiluleka ngelithi: “Thenga inyaniso, ungathengisi ngayo.” (IMizekeliso 23:23) Khawuzibuze, ‘Ngaba ndinaso isizathu esibambekayo sokumthanda? Ngaba ngokwenene ndimazi kakuhle lo mntu? Ngaba ndiyayazi indlela acinga ngayo, indlela avakalelwa ngayo, izimvo zakhe, indlela yakhe yokwenza izinto, imilinganiselo aphila ngayo, izinto akwaziyo ukuzenza, izinto anesiphiwo kuzo nendlela aphila ngayo?’

Enye into omele uyicinge kukuba phofu lo mntu ukhe wawubonakalisa umdla wokwenene kusini na kuwe. Amaxesha amaninzi ukuba nobubele okanye ubuhlobo nje bunokutheth’ eny’ into. UHuda wathi: “Wayenobubele nje yena torho, kodwa mna ndacinga ukuba indlela awayethetha nawayesenza ngayo yayibangelwa kukuba nomdla kum kuba ndandifuna loo nto kakade. Emva kokuba ndiqondile ukuba wayengenamdla kum ndaphoxeka. Ndandicinga ukuba kwakungekho nto yayinokumenza abe nomdla kum, yaye kwakukho isiphako kum.”

Mhlawumbi nawe ukhe wavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo ngenxa yokuba kwimeko enjalo. Noko ke, qonda ukuba ukungathandwa kwakho nguloo mntu akuthethi ukuba akusayi kuphinda uthandwe ngomnye. Ngapha koko, asikuphela komfana okhoyo lo ehlabathini!

Ukunyamezela Le Ntlungu

Sekunjalo, kusenokuthabatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba le ntlungu iphele. Yintoni enokukunceda? Eny’ into onokuyenza kukuphalaza imbilini yakho, uzityand’ igila ‘kwiqabane lokwenyaniso’—umKristu oqolileyo oya kukuphulaphula. (IMizekeliso 17:17, NW) Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ebandleni kukho ibhinqa esele likhulile onokuthetha nalo. Abazali abangamaKristu ngabona bantu banokukunceda gqitha baze bakuxhase. UZeina ukhumbula oku: “Elinye ibhinqa elingumKristu elisebandleni lethu labona ukuba lisibekele kum ibe ngokwendlela elaliqole ngayo lakwazi ukundinceda. Ndakhululeka nje ndaza ndayiphalaza yonke imbilini yam kulo. Landikhuthaza ukuba ndixelele abazali bam ngale nto. Ndathetha nabo ke, ibe bayiqonda ingxaki yam baza bandinceda.”

Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba, umthandazo unamandla. (INdumiso 55:22) Kaloku uHuda uthi: “Ukuthandaza kuYehova kwayibetha yaya kuxela intlungu yam. Kwakhona ndancedwa kukufunda amanqaku eMboniselo noVukani!” Eny’ into ebalulekileyo kukuba ungabi ngunkom’ edla yodwa. (IMizekeliso 18:1) Nxulumana nabanye abantu. UZeina ukhumbula oku: “Eny’ into eyandincedayo kukuhlala ndixakekile ibe ndaba nguvulindlela [umhambisi wevangeli wexesha elizeleyo]. Kwakhona ndandisoloko ndikunye namanye amabhinqa ebandleni. Oku kuye kwandinceda ndenza inkqubela ngokomoya.”

IBhayibhile ithetha ‘ngexesha lokuthanda,’ ibe kusenokwenzeka ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha uya kudibana nomntu oya kukuthanda. (INtshumayeli 3:8) UYehova uThixo wabadala abantu banomnqweno wokunandipha uthando lwasemtshatweni, nawe usenokude ulifumane eli lungiselelo lothando loMenzi wethu Ozukileyo. Okwangoku, kutheni ungazami ukuyisebenzisa ngokunengenelo iminyaka yakho yokungatshati, ‘ekhululekileyo exhaleni,’ ngokutsho kukampostile uPawulos? (1 Korinte 7:32-34) Enoba kuyintoni na, unokuqiniseka ukuba esi sithembiso seBhayibhile siya kuzaliseka: “[Yehova] Uyasivula isandla sakho, uzihluthise iinto zonke eziphilileyo ngeento ezikholekileyo.”—INdumiso 145:16.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 29]

Maxa wambi, ububele bunokutheth’ eny’ into