Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Umzali Wam Engandithandi Nje?

“Ngaphambi kokuba utata nomama baqhawule umtshato, sasidla ngokuya elwandle, siye kutya ezivenkileni size sihambe ngenqwelo-mafutha yakhe sityelela iindawo ezahlukahlukeneyo. Kodwa yaphela yonke loo nto. Utata watshintsha. Ndicinga ukuba wandilahla nam.”—UKaren.a

LUNINZI gqitha ulutsha oluvakalelwa ngolu hlobo. NjengoKaren, luvakalelwa kukuba alusathandwa ngabazali balo—okanye abazange baluthande kwasekuqaleni. Apha asithethi ngengxabano nje yokwexeshana yomzali nomntwana; singathethi nangokuqumba komntwana okubangelwa kukungafuni kwakhe uqeqesho lomzali. Kunoko sithetha ngabazali abangabakhathalelanga abantwana, abangabanyamekeliyo nabangabaqeqeshiyo. Kwezinye iimeko baba ngqwabalala ngokugqithiseleyo, mhlawumbi babathuke okanye bababethele oogqirha nezicaka.

Akukho nto ibuhlungu njengokungakhathalelwa ngumzali. UKaren uthi: “Kwakundenza ndizive ndingafunwa yaye ndingakhathalelwanga.” Ukuba wakha wakwimeko ebuhlungu ngolo hlobo, nanga amacebiso anokukunceda uhlangabezane nale meko. Qiniseka ukuba nokuba abazali bakho abakukhathalele, unako ukuphumelela!

Bazi Kakuhle Abazali Bakho

Okokuqala, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokulindela ukuba abazali bakho bakuthande. Ngokwemvelo umzali ufanele amthande umntwana wakhe. UThixo ulindele ukuba abazali babathande abantwana babo. (Kolose 3:21; Tito 2:4) Ngoko yintoni ebangela ukuba maxa wambi abazali bangabahoyi abantwana babo okanye babaphathe kakubi?

Enye into enokubangela oko yindlela bona abazali abakhuliswa ngayo. Zibuze, ‘Ngubani owafundisa abazali bam indlela yokukhulisa abantwana?’ Kwiimeko ezininzi, abazali bakhulisa abantwana ngendlela abakhuliswa ngayo ngabazali babo. Yaye kweli hlabathi lizaliswe ngabantu abangenabubele “abangenawo umsa wemvelo,” abazali badla ngokungabaqeqeshi ngendlela efanelekileyo abantwana babo. (2 Timoti 3:1-5) Maxa wambi, abazali abakhula bephethwe kakubi badla ngokubaphatha kwangaloo ndlela abantwana babo.

Ngapha koko, zininzi izinto ezinokubenza bangonwabi abazali. Abanye bachitha ixesha elininzi emsebenzini, bazintyintye ngotywala okanye babe ngamakhoboka eziyobisi ngelokuzama ukucima iintsizi. Ngokomzekelo, uWilliam noJoan bakhula benotata olikhoboka lotywala. UJoan uthi: “Wayengakhe asincome utata. Noko ke, emva kokuba eqalise ukusela wayesoloko elugcwabevu ngumsindo. Wayedla ngokungxolisa umama ubusuku bonke. Ndandisoloko ndisoyika.” Kwanokuba abazali ababaxhaphazi abantwana, indlela abaziphatha ngayo inokubenza bangakwazi ukubonakalisa uthando ebantwaneni babo.

UWilliam urhanela ukuba uyayazi into eyayibangela uyise aziphathe ngale ndlela. Uthi: “Utata wakhulela eBerlin, eJamani, ebudeni beMfazwe Yehlabathi II. Ngoxa wayeseyinkwenkwana wabona izinto ezininzi ezimasikizi kuquka ukubulawa kwabantu. Yonke imihla kwakufuneka azizamele ukutya. Ndicinga ukuba ezo zinto zamchaphazela ngokunzulu.” Eneneni, iBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba abantu abacinezelekileyo banokuphazamiseka.—INtshumayeli 7:7.

Ngaba uWilliam noJoan bavakalelwa kukuba uyise uyathetheleleka ngenxa yendlela awakhula ngayo? UWilliam uthi: “Akunjalo. Indlela awakhula ngayo ayikuthetheleli ukunxila nokuziphatha kwakhe ngendlela engafanelekanga. Noko ke, ukuqonda indlela awakhula ngayo kuyandinceda.”

Ukwamkela into yokuba abazali bakho abafezekanga nokwazi indlela abakhula ngayo kunokukunceda ubazi bhetele. IMizekeliso 19:11 ithi: “Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo.”

Ukuhlangabezana Nale Meko

Imeko yekhaya lakho inokubangela kubekho nezinye izinto ezikungcungcuthekisayo. Ngokomzekelo, uPatricia waziva “engento yaye engathandwa,” ngenxa yokuba abazali bakhe babengamkhathalelanga. Kwaba nzima ngoLaNeisha ukuthemba kwanto eyindoda emva kokushiywa kwakhe nguyise eneminyaka esibhozo ubudala. Ukuze avale isikhewu sokungakhathalelwa ngunina “owayekhotyokiswe ziziyobisi,” uShayla wayefuna ukuhoywa nguye nabani na adibana naye.

Enye into enokuba yingxaki yingqumbo nomona. UKaren wayedla “ngokuba nomona” xa ebona indlela uyise awayeyithanda ngayo intsapho yakhe entsha, nto leyo yena angazange ayifumane. Ngamanye amaxesha uLeilani wayebacaphukela abazali bakhe. Uthi: “Sasisoloko sixambulisana.”

Ngenxa yeemeko abajamelana nazo, siyaqondakala isizathu sokuba bavakalelwe ngaloo ndlela. Noko ke, ngaba unokukwazi ukuhlangabezana nale ntlungu? Nanga amanye amacebiso.

• Sondela kuYehova uThixo. (Yakobi 4:8) Unokukwenza oko ngokufundisisa iBhayibhile nangokusoloko uphakathi kwabantu bakhe. Xa ubona indlela uYehova abaphatha ngayo abanye, uya kuqonda ukuba unyanisekile. Unokumthemba. UYehova wabuza amaSirayeli oku: “Umfazi angalulibala na usana lwakhe, angavakalelwa ngonyana wesisu sakhe?” Wawathembisa: “Nokuba bona abafazi banokulibala, kodwa mna andiyi kukulibala.” (Isaya 49:15) Ngoko thandaza kuThixo rhoqo. Ungazikhathazi ngendlela oza kuthetha ngayo. Uyayiqonda imeko yakho. (Roma 8:26) Khumbula ukuba uYehova uyakuthanda kwanokuba kubonakala ngathi akukho mntu wumbi ukuthandayo.—INdumiso 27:10.

• Zityand’ igila kumntu omdala omthembayo. Zakhele ubuhlobo nabantu abakhulileyo ngokomoya. Thetha nabo ngokukhululekileyo ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ubaxelele nezinto ezikuxhalabisayo. Kwibandla lamaKristu lamaNgqina kaYehova, unokufumana ootata noomama bokomoya. (Marko 10:29, 30) Noko ke, kusenokufuneka uthabathe inyathelo lokuqala ubaxelele ngemeko yakho. Abanye abantu abanakuyazi indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngaphandle kokuba ubaxelele. Emva kokuphalaz’ imbilini yakho unokuziva uthuthuzelekile.—1 Samuweli 1:12-18.

• Zixakekise ngokwenzela abanye abantu izinto ezintle. Musa ukuzenza usizana ngokusoloko ucinga ngezinto ezibuhlungu ezikwehleleyo. Kunoko, yiba noxabiso ngezo zinto unazo. Sebenzisa onke amathuba ‘unyamekele, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa kwanezilangazelelo zabanye.’ (Filipi 2:4) Zibekele usukelo lokomoya, uze uzabalazele ukulufikelela. Ukunceda abanye kubulungiseleli bamaKristu yeyona ndlela unokunikela ngayo ingqalelo kwabanye.

• Qhubeka ubahlonela abazali bakho. Sebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile ngalo lonke ixesha. Oku kuquka ukuhlonela abazali bakho. (Efese 6:1, 2) Loo ntlonelo iya kukubangela ungazami ukuziphindezela. Khumbula ukuba, enoba umzali wakho ukwenze ntoni na, akunasizathu sakungamhloneli. Ngoko ke, yishiyele kuYehova yonke into. (Roma 12:17-21) ‘Ungumthandi wokusesikweni’ yaye akathandi baphathwe kakubi abantwana. (INdumiso 37:28; Eksodus 22:22-24) Njengoko uqhubeka uhlonela abazali bakho, hlakulela isiqhamo somoya kaThixo—ngokukodwa uthando.—Galati 5:22, 23.

Unako Ukuphumelela

Alithandabuzeki elokuba ukungathandwa ngumzali kunokuba ngamava abuhlungu. Kodwa iintsilelo zabazali azinakugqiba ngohlobo lomntu oya kuba nguye. Unokonwaba uze uphumelele xa usebenzisa le migaqo yeBhayibhile ingasentla.

UWilliam, okhankanywe ngaphambilana, ungumsebenzi wokuzithandela wexesha elizeleyo kwiofisi yesebe lamaNgqina kaYehova. Uthi: “UYehova usilungiselele iindlela zokusinceda sihlangabezane nezi meko zibuhlungu. Elinjani lona ilungelo esinalo lokuba noBawo wasezulwini onothando!” Udade wabo, uJoan ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo onguvulindlela, ukhonza apho kukho imfuneko yabashumayeli beendaba ezilungileyo. Yena uthi: “Ekukhuleni kwethu, sawubona kakuhle umahluko ‘phakathi kwalowo ukhonza uThixo nalowo ungamkhonzanga.’” (Malaki 3:18) “Amava esaba nawo ekukhuleni kwethu asinceda sazimisela ukuyimela inyaniso saza saphila ngokuvisisana nayo.”

Nawe unokuphumelela. IBhayibhile ithi: “Abo bahlwayela imbewu ngeenyembezi baya kuvuna ngentswahla yovuyo.” (INdumiso 126:5) Ithetha ukuthini le ndinyana? Kaloku, ukuba usebenzisa imigaqo efanelekileyo nakuba ujamelene neemeko ezinzima, ekugqibeleni iinyembezi zakho ziya kuba luvuyo njengoko uThixo ekusikelela.

Ngoko yenza konke okusemandleni ukuze usondele kuYehova uThixo. (Hebhere 6:10; 11:6) Kwanokuba ubusentlungwini, udandathekile unomvandedwa kangangeminyaka emininzi, ekugqibeleni “uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda” luya kukwenza uzive ukhululekile.—Filipi 4:6, 7.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 14]

Ngaba uvakalelwa kukuba . . .

• Akuxabisekanga?

• Akubobulumko ukuthemba abanye?

• Usoloko ufuna abantu bakuqinisekise ukuba bayakuthanda?

• Akukwazi ukubamba umsindo yaye unomona ngokugqithiseleyo?

Ukuba kunjalo thetha nomzali, umdala okanye umhlobo oqolileyo ngokomoya onokumthemba, ngaphandle kokulibazisa.

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 15]

Thabatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo anokukunceda uhlangabezane nentlungu okuyo