Cabangela Abazali Abangabodwa

KUNEZINTO eziningi abazali abangabodwa okudingeka bazenze ezidinga isikhathi namandla. Ziningi izinselele ababhekana nazo. Kumelwe bafeze imithwalo yemfanelo eminingi yokukhulisa izingane. Ngaphandle kokuya emsebenzini, kumelwe bathenge ukudla, bapheke, bahlanze indlu futhi bakhulise izingane. Kumelwe banakekele impilo yezingane, baqiniseke ukuthi zithola ezokuzijabulisa futhi bazisekele ngokomzwelo. Kudingeka nabo ngokwabo bazinike isikhathi sokuphumula uma kungenzeka.

Nakuba imindeni enabazali abangabodwa iqhubeka yanda futhi isivamile namuhla, ingase ilitshalwe kalula. Omunye umama wakuvuma ngokuqondile lokhu: “Ngangingayiqapheli imindeni enabazali abangabodwa kwaze kwaba yilapho nami sengingumzali ongayedwa.” Yini ongayenza ukuze ubonise ukuthi uyabacangela abazali abangabodwa? Ingabe kumelwe ukhathazeke ngabo? Ake sicabangele izizathu ezintathu zokuba sinakekele izidingo zabo.

Izizathu Zokubacabangela

Abazali abaningi abangabodwa badinga usizo. Umfelokazi oneminyaka engu-41 nonezingane ezimbili wathi, “Kunezikhathi lapho ngiye ngingaqiniseki khona ukuthi kumelwe ngenzeni futhi ngiye ngizizwe sengathi ingiqeda amandla imisebenzi eminingi engibhekile.” Ukufelwa oshade naye, ukulahlwa noma ezinye izimo ezingajabulisi kuye kwenza abazali abaningi abangabodwa bazizwa njengomunye umama. Wathi, “Sidinga impumuzo futhi siyidinga kakhulu!”

Kungakulethela injabulo. Wake wamsiza yini umuntu othwele umthwalo osindayo? Uma kunjalo, kungenzeka waba nomuzwa wokwaneliseka ngokwazi ukuthi usize othile ngokoqobo. Ngokufanayo, abazali abangabodwa banemithwalo esindayo engase ibaqede amandla ngezinye izikhathi. Lapho usabela ezidingweni zabo ngokubasiza, uyozibonela ukuthi ayiqiniso kangakanani amazwi akumaHubo 41:1: “Uyajabula umuntu owenza ngokumcabangela ophansi.”

Kujabulisa uNkulunkulu. UJakobe 1:27 uthi: “Indlela yokukhulekela ehlanzekile nengangcolile ngokombono kaNkulunkulu noBaba wethu yile: ukunakekela izintandane nabafelokazi osizini lwabo.” Lokhu kuhlanganisa nokunakekela abazali abangabodwa.a AmaHebheru 13:16 athi: “Ningakukhohlwa ukwenza okuhle nokupha abanye izinto, ngoba uNkulunkulu ujatshuliswa yimihlatshelo enjalo.”

Njengoba sesizazi izizathu ezintathu zokucabangela abazali abangabodwa, manje masibone ukuthi ungabasiza kanjani nokuthi ungaqiniseka kanjani ukuthi usizo lwakho luyabazuzisa ngempela.

Ukuqonda Izidingo Zabo

Into engase ifike kuqala engqondweni ukubuza umzali ongayedwa ukuthi, “Ngingasiza kuphi?” Nokho, iqiniso liwukuthi kuyaqabukela umuntu ekutshele izidingo zakhe zangempela. Njengoba kuphawuliwe ngaphambili, iHubo 41:1 litusa ukuba ‘wenze ngokucabangela.’ Enye incwadi ithi igama lesiHebheru elisetshenziswe lapha lingase lisho “ukuhlaziya izimo eziyinkimbinkimbi ukuze uphume nekhambi elihlakaniphile.”

Ngakho, ukuze uthole indlela engcono kakhulu yokusiza, kudingeka ucabangisise ngezinselele umzali ongayedwa abhekana nazo. Qaphelisisa; ungasithathi kalula isimo sakhe. Zibuze, ‘Ukube bengibhekene nesimo esifanayo, yiluphi usizo ebengiyoludinga?’ Yiqiniso, abazali abaningi abangabodwa bangakutshela ukuthi noma ungazama kanjani ngeke ukuqonde ngokuphelele ukuthi kunjani ukuba umzali ongayedwa uma ungeyena. Noma kunjalo, ukwenza okusemandleni ukuze ubonise ukuthi uzwelana nabo kuyokubeka ethubeni elihle ‘lokwenza ngokucabangela.’

Lingisa Isibonelo SikaNkulunkulu Esiphelele

Ngokuqondene nokusiza abazali abangabodwa, akekho oye wabasiza ngothando nangendlela ephumelela ukwedlula uJehova uNkulunkulu. ImiBhalo eminingi ibonisa ngokucacile ukuthi uJehova uNkulunkulu uyabathanda futhi uyabakhathalela abafelokazi, izintandane nabazali abangabodwa. Ngokuhlola indlela asabela ngayo ezidingweni zabantu abakulesi simo, singafunda okuningi mayelana nokusiza ngendlela engokoqobo. Kunezici ezine ezibalulekile ezidinga ukucatshangelwa.

Lalelisisa

EMthethweni uJehova awunika u-Israyeli wasendulo, wathi ‘wayeyokuzwa nakanjani ukukhala’ kohluphekayo. (Eksodusi 22:22, 23) Ungasilingisa kanjani lesi sibonelo esihle? Ngokuvamile abazali abangabodwa baba nomzwangedwa ojulile, baswele umuntu omdala abangakhuluma naye. Omunye umzali ongayedwa wabalisa: “Uma izingane sezilele, ngezinye izikhathi ngiye ngikhihle isililo. Isizungu asibekezeleleki ngezinye izikhathi.” Uma kufaneleka, ungakwazi yini ukuba umngane womzali ongayedwa odinga ukuthulula isifuba sakhe, ‘uzwe ukukhala’ kwakhe? Ukuba olalelisisayo ezimweni ezifanelekayo kungenza lukhulu ekusizeni umzali ongayedwa ukuba abhekane nezinselele zokukhulisa izingane eyedwa.

Mkhuthaze

UJehova waphefumulela ukuba kubhalwe izingoma ezingcwele, noma amahubo, ama-Israyeli ayezihlabelela lapho ekhulekela. Cabanga ngesikhuthazo abafelokazi nezintandane zakwa-Israyeli ababesithola lapho behlabelela izingoma eziphefumulelwe nguNkulunkulu ezazibakhumbuza ukuthi “unguyise” “nomahluleli” wabo nokuthi uyobanika impumuzo. (IHubo 68:5; 146:9) Nathi singamkhuthaza umzali ongayedwa ngamazwi angasoze awakhohlwa. Nakuba sekudlule iminyaka engu-20, uRuth ongumzali ongayedwa ukhumbula isikhathi esamthinta inhliziyo lapho ubaba othile ongumakad’ ebona ethi kuye: “Uwakhulisa kahle kakhulu amadodana akho. Yibambe kanjalo.” URuth uyaqhubeka: “Ukuzwa lawo mazwi evela kuye kwangithinta kakhulu.” “Amazwi anomusa awumuthi ophilisayo” ngempela futhi angakhuthaza umzali ongayedwa ngendlela ongakaze uyicabange. (IzAga 15:4, Contemporary English Version) Akhona yini amazwi okuncoma aqotho ongawasho kumzali ongayedwa?

Siza ngezinto ezingokoqobo

UMthetho kaJehova ku-Israyeli wasendulo wawuhlanganisa amalungiselelo okuba abafelokazi nezintandane bathole ukudla ababekudinga kodwa lokho kwenziwe ngendlela ehloniphekile. Ngalawo malungiselelo, abafelokazi nezintandane ‘babedla bazanelise.’ (Duteronomi 24:19-21; 26:12, 13) Nathi singamsiza ngezinto ezingokoqobo umzali ongayedwa lapho eswele kodwa kufanele siqaphele ukuba singamehlisi isithunzi. Ungakwazi yini ukumhambisela ukudla ekhaya? Ingabe unazo izingubo zokugqoka ongazipha umzali ongayedwa noma izingane zakhe? Ungakwazi yini ukubasiza ngemali ukuze bakwazi ukuthenga izinto abazidingayo?

Chitha isikhathi nabo

UJehova wayala ukuba abafelokazi nezintandane bangalitshalwa emikhosini yesizwe yaminyaka yonke, lapho babengajabulela khona ubudlelwane namanye ama-Israyeli. Eqinisweni, atshelwa: “Kumelwe ujabule.” (Duteronomi 16:10-15) Ngokufanayo nanamuhla, amaKristu ayalwa ukuba anuleke futhi abe nezikhathi ezijabulisayo ndawonye. (1 Petru 4:9) Kungani ungaceli umndeni onomzali ongayedwa ukuba uzodla nani? Akudingeki ukuba wenze idili likaMkhipheni. Lapho uJesu ejabulela ubudlelwane ekhaya labangane bakhe, wathi “kudingeka izinto ezimbalwa, noma eyodwa.”—Luka 10:42.

Ukucabangela Kwakho Bayokwazisa

UKathleen, umzali ongayedwa owakhulisa izingane ezintathu, uthi ngeke awakhohlwe la mazwi ahlakaniphile: “Ungalindeli lutho; yazisa konke.” NjengoKathleen, abazali abaningi abangabodwa bayazi ukuthi kuwumthwalo wabo wemfanelo ukukhulisa izingane zabo. Yingakho bengalindeli abanye ukuba babenzele izinto okumelwe zenziwe yibo. Noma kunjalo, akungatshazwa ukuthi bayalwazisa noma yiluphi usizo abalutholayo. Ngokucabangela abazali abangabodwa ungathuthukisa ukuphila kwabo; nawe uyothola injabulo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungaqiniseka ngokuthi uJehova uNkulunkulu ‘uyokubuyisela ngempatho yakho.’—IzAga 19:17.

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Wagcina nini ukumema umndeni onomzali ongayedwa ukuba uzodla nani? Kungani ungakwenzi maduze lokhu?