Ukubonisa Uthando Nenhlonipho Njengomfazi
“Umfazi makahloniphe indoda yakhe.”—EFESU 5:33.
1. Imiphi imibuzo ephakamayo ngokuqondene nesimo sanamuhla somshado?
KULENKATHI yanamuhla yokuzibusa ‘nokukhululeka,’ umbono wesiko ngomshado uye wathola amagalelo anzima. Izigidi zemikhaya kudingeka ziphile zingenaye ubaba noma umama. Ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle kwegunya lomshado ongokomthetho kuye kwaba isiko labaningi. Kodwa ingabe lokhu kuye kwaholela ekulondekeni okwengeziwe ngomfazi nangomama? Ingabe kuye kwanikeza abantwana ukuzinza? Futhi ingabe lokhu kuwohloka kwezindinganiso kuye kwaholela enhloniphweni eyengeziwe elungiselelweni lomkhaya? Ngokuphambene, iZwi likaNkulunkulu litusani?
2. Kungani kwakungekuhle ngoAdamu ukuba ahlale eyedwa?
2 Lapho uNkulunkulu ezwakalisa injongo yakhe yokudala owesifazane wokuqala, wathi: “Akukuhle ukuba umuntu ahlale yedwa.” Futhi ngemva kokubuka imikhaya yezilwane—amaduna nezinsikazi nabantwana bazo—kumelwe ukuba imizwa ka-Adamu yavumelana nalawomazwi. Nakuba ayephelele futhi esepharadesi elanelisayo, uAdamu wayentula ubungani nothile wohlobo lwakhe. Wayephiwe ukuhlakanipha nekhono lokukhuluma, kodwa sasingekho esinye isidalwa sohlobo lwakhe ayengahlanganyela naso lezozipho. Nokho, ngokushesha isimo sasizoguquka, ngoba uNkulunkulu wathi: “Ngizakumenzela umsizi onjengaye.”—Genesise 2:18-20.
3. (a) UEva waba kanjani ‘owohlobo’ luka-Adamu? (b) Kusho ukuthini ngendoda ukuba ‘inamathele’ kumkayo?
3 UJehova wadala owesifazane uEva ngokusebenzisa olunye lwezimbambo zika-Adamu njengesisekelo. Ngakho, uEva ‘wayengowohlobo’ olufanayo noAdamu. Wayengesona isilwane esiphansi kodwa ‘wayeyithambo lamathambo [akhe] nenyama yenyama [yakhe].’ Ngokuvumelana nalokho, ukulandisa okuphefumlelwe kuthi: “Ngalokho indoda iyakushiya uyise nonina, inamathele kumkayo; bayakuba-nyamanye.” (Genesise 2:23, 24) Igama lesiHeberu elihunyushwe ngokuthi “namathela” ngokwezwi nezwi lisho “ukuhlangana, ukubambelela, ikakhulukazi ngokuqinile, sengathi kuhlanganiswe ngenhlaka.” (IHebrew and Chaldee Lexicon to the Old Testament Scriptures kaGesenius) Lokhu ngempela kunikeza umqondo wokuthi indoda nomfazi bangabangane abangenakwehlukaniswa. Esinye isazi sithi “libhekisela kokungaphezu kokuhlangana ngokobulili kwendoda nomfazi futhi lenabela kubo bonke ubuhlobo.” Kanjalo, umshado awusikho ukuthatheka okudlulayo. Uwubuhlobo obuhlala njalo. Futhi lapho kukhona ukuhloniphana nokwazisana, lobobunye, nakuba bungase bucindezeleke ngezinye izikhathi, kufanele bube obungenakunqamuka.—Mathewu 19:3-9.
4. Owesifazane waba umsizi nomphelelisi wendoda ngamuphi umqondo?
4 UNkulunkulu wathi owesifazane wayeyoba umsizi wendoda nomphelelisi wayo. Njengoba babedalwe ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu, wayezolindela ukuba babonakalise izimfanelo zakhe—ukwahlulela ngokulunga, uthando, ukuhlakanipha, namandla—ekusebenzelaneni kwabo. Ngakho, uEva wayeyoba “umsizi,” hhayi umncintisani. Umkhaya wawungeke ube njengomkhumbi onokaputeni ababili abancintisanayo, kunalokho ubunhloko babuyosetshenziswa uAdamu.—1 Korinte 11:3; Efesu 5:22-24; 1 Thimothewu 2:12, 13.
5. Amadoda amaningi aye abaphatha kanjani abesifazane, futhi ingabe lokhu kuyavunyelwa uNkulunkulu?
5 Nokho, ukuhlubuka nesono kombhangqwana wokuqala wabantu ebunhlokweni bukaNkulunkulu bothando kwaletha ngokushesha isimo esihlukile sokwakhela umkhaya wabo nayo yonke imikhaya yesikhathi esizayo. Eyazi kusengaphambili imiphumela yesono sabo nethonya laso esintwini, uJehova wathi kuEva: “Ukunxanela kwakho kuyakuba-sendodeni yakho; yona iyakukubusa.” (Genesise 3:16) Ngeshwa, phakathi namakhulu eminyaka amadoda amaningi aye abusa abesifazane ngendlela yobudlova. Abesifazane bebelulazwa behlazwa ngezindlela eziningi emhlabeni wonke futhi namanje kusenjalo. Nokho, njengoba sibonile esihlokweni esandulele, ukusetshenziswa kwezimiso zeBhayibheli akunikezi sisekelo sobushiqela bowesilisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kugcizelela ukubaluleka kwenhlonipho ejulile.
Inhlonipho Ejulile—Inselele
6, 7. (a) Amadoda angakholwa angazuzelwa kanjani eqinisweni? (b) Kungenzeka kanjani ngomfazi ukuba ahluleke ukubonisa ‘inhlonipho ejulile’ ngomyeni wakhe ongakholwa?
6 Umphostoli uPetru waningiliza isibonelo sikaKristu sokuziphatha futhi wachaza ukuthi uJesu wasishiyela ‘isibonelo sokuba silandele ezinyathelweni zakhe.’ Khona-ke uPetru wathi: “Kanjalo, bafazi, thobelani amadoda enu, ukuze kuthi uma ekhona angakholwa yizwi, azuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngenkambo yabafazi bawo, ebona inkambo yenu emhlophe esekwesabeni [kanye nenhlonipho ejulile, NW].” (1 Petru 2:21–3:2) Abafazi abangamaKristu bangayibonisa kanjani ‘lenhlonipho ejulile’?
7 Abaningi bodadewethu abangamaKristu banabayeni abangakholwa futhi ngesinye isikhathi abaphikisayo. Ingabe-ke lezizimo zisho ukuthi iseluleko sikaPetru asisebenzi futhi siyize? Cha, ukuzithoba nenhlonipho kuyadingeka ngisho noma “ekhona angakholwa yizwi.” Ngakho-ke, ingabe kungaba uphawu lwenhlonipho uma umfazi ongumKristu onendoda engakholwa engafika eHholo LoMbuso ahlebe ngayo, exoxela odade abaningi ebandleni ngayo yonke impatho ayitholile kuyo? Uma ubengenza lokho ngomzalwane noma ngodade ebandleni, bekungabizwa ngokuthi kuyini? Ukuhleba, noma mhlawumbe ukunyundela. Ngakho, akubona ubufakazi benhlonipho ejulile ngomfazi ukuba anyundele umyeni wakhe ongakholwa. (1 Thimothewu 3:11; 5:13) Nokho, kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi abanye odade abaphikiswayo banenkinga enkulu. Liyini ikhambi lobuKristu? Bangaya kubadala futhi bafune usizo lwabo neseluleko.—Heberu 13:17.
8. Yini okungenzeka ukuthi icatshangwa indoda engakholwa?
8 Abadala bangabhekana kanjani ngokuhlakanipha nendoda ephikisayo? Okokuqala, bangazama ukubheka isimo ngokombono wayo. Ubudlova bayo bamazwi noma bezenzo kungenzeka ukuthi bubangelwa ukusabela okuthathu okulandelanayo okuwukungazi okuholela ekwesabeni bese kuba izenzo zobudlova. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Ngezinye izikhathi lendoda yazi okuncane noma ayazi lutho ngoFakazi BakaJehova ngaphandle kwalokho ekuzwa kwesebenza nabo abanobandlululo. Iyazi ukuthi ngaphambi kokuba umkayo aqale ukutadisha iBhayibheli kungenzeka wayenake yona nabantwana babo ngokuphelele. Nakuba manje engase abe umfazi nomama ongcono, isimo sayo sengqondo siwukuthi: ‘Uyangishiya izikhathi ezintathu ngesonto aye kuleyamihlangano. Angazi ukuthi kwenzekani kuleyomihlangano, kodwa kukhona amadoda abukeka kahle kuleliyahholo, futhi . . . ’ Yebo, ukungazi kwayo kungase kuholele esikhweleni nasekwesabeni. Khona-ke bese kulandela ukuzivikela. Lapho zibonakala khona lezizimo, abadala bangasiza kanjani?—IzAga 14:30; 27:4.
9. Iyiphi indlela yokuhlakanipha engasetshenziswa kwamanye amadoda angakholwa, futhi lokhu kungaba namuphi umphumela?
9 Mhlawumbe omunye wabadala angase azane nendoda ngokomuntu siqu. (1 Korinte 9:19-23) Kungenzeka ukuthi indoda inekhono njengesisebenzi sikagesi, umbazi, noma umapendane. Ingase ithande ukusebenzisa lelokhono ekusizeni ngenkinga eseHholo LoMbuso. Ngaleyondlela ingase ibone ingaphakathi leHholo LoMbuso ngaphandle kokuzizwa iphoqelekile ukuba ibe khona emihlanganweni. Njengoba iqala ukwazi abazalwane, isimo sayo sengqondo ngomkayo nangeqiniso singase sithambe. Lapho ibona uthando nomoya wokubambisana osebandleni, ingase iqale ngisho nokuletha umkayo emihlanganweni. Khona-ke, njengoba enye into iholela kwenye, ingase ingene ngaphakathi eHholo ngesikhathi kuqhubeka umhlangano ukuze ilalele isikhashana. Kungekudala, ingase icele isifundo seBhayibheli. Konke lokhu kungafinyelelwa futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuye kwafinyelelwa. Kunezinkulungwane zamadoda akholwayo namuhla, ngenxa yothando nesu okunjalo “nenhlonipho ejulile” yomfazi.—Efesu 5:33.
Uqaphela Indlu Yakhe
10, 11. Yiziphi izici ezihlukahlukene zomfazi okhutheleyo ezichazwa inkosi uLemuweli? (Zicabangele ngokwahlukana.)
10 Inkosi uLemuweli yathola iseluleko esihle kunina ngezimfanelo zomfazi omuhle. (IzAga 31:1) Incazelo yakhe yomfazi nomama osebenza kanzima kuzAga 31:10-31 ifanelwe ukufundwa ngokunakekela. Ngokusobala wayenokuhlangenwe nakho ekusebenziseni izimiso zikaNkulunkulu zokulunga nasekuboniseni inhlonipho ejulile.
11 ULemuweli ubhala ukuthi “umfazi okhutheleyo” unokwethenjelwa, futhi uqotho. (Amavesi 10-12) Usebenza kanzima ukuze ondle futhi anakekele umyeni wakhe nabantwana. (Amavesi 13-19, 21, 24) Unomusa nozwela kulabo abaswele ngempela. (Ivesi 20) Ngenhlonipho yakhe nenkambo enhle, wenezela edumeleni elihle lendoda yakhe. (Ivesi 23) Akayona inhlebi eyivila noma umgxeki olimazayo. Ngokuphambene, ngolimi lwakhe uyakha futhi elaphe. (Ivesi 26) Ngoba akavilaphi, unekhaya elihlanzekile, elihlelekile. (Ivesi 27) (Eqinisweni, ikhaya lomKristu kufanele libe elinye lamakhaya ahlanzeke kunawo wonke endaweni.) Umyeni wakhe nabantwana babonisa ukubonga futhi bayamdumisa. Labo abangaphandle komkhaya nabo bayazazisa izimfanelo zakhe. (Amavesi 28, 29, 31) Ubuhle bakhe abubona obangaphandle kuphela; buwubuhle bowesifazane owesaba uNkulunkulu nobuntu bokwesaba uNkulunkulu.—Ivesi 30.
Umoya Wokuthula Nomnene
12. Yini ‘eyigugu phambi kukaNkulunkulu,’ futhi isaga seSipanishi siliqokomisa kanjani leliphuzu?
12 Leliphuzu lokugcina lenanelwa uPetru lapho eluleka owesifazane ongumKristu ukuba angakunaki ngokweqile ukubonakala kwakhe kwangaphandle. Uyakhuthaza: “[Ukuhloba kwenu] makube-ngumuntu osithekileyo wenhliziyo ohloba ngokungabhubhiyo komoya omnene onokuthula, okuyigugu phambi kukaNkulunkulu.” (1 Petru 3:3, 4) Phawula iphuzu elithi ‘umoya omnene onokuthula uyigugu phambi kukaNkulunkulu.’ Kanjalo, umfazi nomama ongumKristu onomoya onjalo akathokozisi umyeni wakhe kuphela, kodwa okubaluleke nangaphezulu, uthokozisa uNkulunkulu, njengoba kwenza abesifazane abathembekile bezikhathi zasendulo. Lobubuhle bangaphakathi buvezwa futhi isaga seSipanishi: “Owesifazane obukeka kahle uthokozisa amehlo; owesifazane onezimfanelo ezinhle uthokozisa inhliziyo. Uma okokuqala kuyitshe eliyigugu, okokugcina kuyingcebo.”
13. Yiliphi ithonya eliqabulayo umfazi angaba nalo kubantwana bakhe?
13 Umfazi ongumKristu angaqabula kubo bonke ekhaya lakhe. (Qhathanisa noMathewu 11:28-30.) Njengoba abantwana beqaphela inhlonipho yakhe ngomyeni wakhe, bayobonisa leyonhlonipho ekusebenzelaneni kwabo nabazali babo nalabo abangaphandle komkhaya. Njengomphumela, abantwana abangamaKristu bayoba nomusa babe abacabangelayo. Futhi yeka ukuthi kuqabula kanjani lapho abantwana beyenza ngokuzithandela imisebenzi yasekhaya kunokuba badinge ukutshelwa ukuze bayenze! Ukungabi nabugovu kwabo kwenezela enjabulweni yasekhaya, futhi ukumamatheka kukamama kokubajabulela kuyinkokhelo eyanele.
14. Isidingo sokuyala singaholela kuyiphi inselele?
14 Kodwa kuthiwani ngezikhathi lapho ukuyala kudingeka khona? Njengabazali babo, abantwana bayawenza amaphutha. Ngezinye izikhathi abalaleli. Umama ongumKristu uyosabela kanjani uma ubaba engekho? Ingabe uyoqhubeka esihlonipha isithunzi sabantwana babo? Noma ingabe uyoklabalasa amemeze ezama ukubenza balalele? Nokho, ingabe umntwana uyafunda yini ngobukhulu bezwi? Noma ingabe izwi eliphansi, elinengqondo lingaphumelela kakhudlwana?—Efesu 4:31, 32.
15. Yini eye yatholwa abacwaningi ngokuqondene nokulalela kwabantwana?
15 Ukhulumela ukulalela kwabantwana, umagazini iPsychology Today wathi: “Ngokokuhlola kwamuva, lapho ubanga umsindo kakhulu utshela abantwana ukuba bangayenzi into ethile, yilapho kunokwenzeka kakhulu khona ukuba baphenduke benze khona kanye lokho ongafuni ukuba bakwenze.” Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abacwaningi baye bathola ukuthi lapho abantu abadala bekhulumela phansi, abantwana bathambekela ekulaleleni ngaphandle kokuzindela. Yiqiniso, kubaluleke ngokukhethekile ukumbonisa umntwana kunokumthukuthelisa ngemiyalo eqinile engapheli.—Efesu 6:4; 1 Petru 4:8.
Inhlonipho Ebuhlotsheni Obungokomzimba
16. Umfazi angakubonisa kanjani ukucabangela izidingo zomyeni wakhe ngokomzwelo, futhi kube naziphi izinzuzo?
16 Njengoba nje indoda kufanele ibonise ukucabangela umkayo ngenxa yokuba kwakhe ngowesakhiwo esibuthaka, kanjalo nomfazi kufanele aqaphele izidingo zomyeni wakhe ezingokomzwelo nezingokobulili. IBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi indoda nomkayo kufanele bajabulelane futhi benelisane. Lokho kudinga ukuqaphela izidingo nemizwa yomunye. Lokhu kwanelisana kuyosiza futhi ekuqisekiseni ukuthi umngane ngamunye akanalo iso elizulayo elingaholela emzimbeni ozulayo.—IzAga 5:15-20.
17. Indoda nomfazi kufanele bakubheke kanjani ukunikeza imfanelo yasemshadweni?
17 Ngokuqinisekile, lapho kukhona ukuhloniphana, akekho umngane oyosebenzisa izidingo zobulili njengesikhali sengqondo. Ngamunye kufanele anikeze omunye imfanelo yasemshadweni, futhi uma kukhona ukuyeka kwesikhashana, kufanele kube okokuvumelana. (1 Korinte 7:1-5) Ngokwesibonelo, ngesinye isikhathi indoda ingase ihambe ngomsebenzi wesikhashana wokwakha ehhovisi legatsha leWatch Tower Society lakuleyondawo noma ngomunye umsebenzi ongokwasezulwini. Esimweni esinjalo kufanele iqiniseke ukuthi ithola imvume yomkayo yenhliziyo yonke. Ukuhlukana okunjalo kungaletha izibusiso ezingokomoya emkhayeni, okungukuthi, ngendlela yokuhlangenwe nakho okukhuthazayo okungalandiswa indoda lapho ibuyela ekhaya.
Indima Yodade Ebalulekile
18. Kungani umfazi womdala ethwele umthwalo wemfanelo omkhudlwana?
18 Lapho indoda yowesifazane ongumKristu ingumdala, unomthwalo wemfanelo omkhudlwana. Okokuqala, kuningi okudingeka kuyo. Iyophendula kuJehova ngesimo esingokomoya sebandla. (Heberu 13:17) Kodwa njengomfazi womdala futhi mhlawumbe naye engowesifazane osekhulile, isibonelo sakhe senhlonipho naso sibalulekile. (Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Thimothewu 5:9, 10; Thithu 2:3-5.) Futhi yeka isibonelo esihle abafazi abaningi babadala abasibekayo lapho besekela abayeni babo! Kaningi, indoda kudingeka ingabi bikho ekhaya inakekela izindaba zebandla, futhi mhlawumbe kungase kuvuke isifiso sakhe sokwazi. Nokho, ngobuqotho umfazi owesaba uNkulunkulu akathungathi izindaba zebandla njengogaxekile ezindabeni zabantu.—1 Petru 4:15.
19. Kuhilelani ngomdala ‘ukuphatha indlu’?
19 Nokho, umdala kungase kudingeke ukuba ameluleke umkakhe uma ebonisa izimo ezingakhi noma engababekeli isibonelo esihle abanye odade. ‘Ukuphatha kahle indlu’ akuhlanganisi nje kuphela abantwana kodwa kuhlanganisa futhi nomfazi. Ukusebenzisa lendinganiso engokomBhalo kungase kuvivinye ukuthobeka kwabanye abafazi.—1 Thimothewu 3:4, 5, 11; Heberu 12:11.
20. Phawula izibonelo ezinhle zodade abashadile nabangashadile ezikhathini zasendulo nezanamuhla. (Bheka isihloko esithi “Life Stories of Jehovah’s Witnesses” kuyiWatch Tower Publications Index 1930-1985.)
20 Odade abangashadile nabo bangathatha isibonelo sendima yenhlonipho yabesifazane abashadile ebandleni. Kunezibonelo ezinhle eziningi kakhulu zodade abahle, abathembekile, kokubili emiBhalweni nasemabandleni namuhla! UDorka, okungenzeka wayengudade ongashadile, wayetuswa kakhulu ‘ngemisebenzi’ yakhe ‘emihle.’ (IzEnzo 9:36-42) OPriska noFebe nabo babelishisekela iqiniso. (Roma 16:1-4) Ngokufanayo namuhla, abaningi bodadewethu, abashadile noma abangashadile, bayizithunywa zevangeli, amaphayona, nabamemezeli abavelele. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abesifazane abanjalo abesaba uNkulunkulu bagcina amakhaya ehlanzekile futhi ehlelekile futhi abalokothi badebeselele imikhaya yabo. Ngenxa yobuningi babo nezimo zabo, ngokuvamile benza ingxenye enkulu yomsebenzi wokushumayela.—IHubo 68:11.
21. Odade abathembekile bayisikhuthazo kanjani kubafowabo abangamaKristu?
21 Odade abathembekile ebandleni banendima ebalulekile eyakhayo. Intshiseko yabo nesibonelo kuyisikhuthazo kubazalwane nasebandleni lobuKristu lilonke. Ngempela bangabasizi nabaphelelisi. (Qhathanisa noGenesise 2:18.) Yeka uthando nenhlonipho koqobo okubafanele! Futhi ngokuqondene nabangane bomshado abangamaKristu, sifanelekile ngempela iseluleko sikaPawulu: “Yilowo nalowo makathande umkakhe njengokuba ezithanda yena, kepha umfazi makahloniphe indoda yakhe.”—Efesu 5:33.
Ingabe Uyakhumbula?
◻ Zaziyini izindima uNkulunkulu ayezabele indoda nowesifazane abaphelele ekuqaleni?
◻ Amadoda angakholwa angase azuzelwe kanjani eqinisweni?
◻ Yiziphi izimfanelo ezivelele zomfazi okhuthele?
◻ Umfazi ongumKristu angawubonisa kanjani ‘umoya wokuthula nowobumnene’?
◻ Ikuphi ukulinganisela okudingekile ebuhlotsheni obungokomzimba phakathi kwabantu abashadile?
[Isithombe ekhasini 16]
Umkhaya akufanele ufane nomkhumbi onokaputeni ababili abancintisanayo
[Isithombe ekhasini 18]
Indoda engakholwa ingase ibe nesikhwele, mhlawumbe yesabe, ngokuya komfazi wayo emihlanganweni noma kweminye imisebenzi yobuKristu. Ingasizwa kanjani?