Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Ngithukuthela?

“Uma ngithukuthele ngivuka indlobane, futhi ngeke uthande ukuba seduze kwami. . . . Ngibheja ngibe bomvu . . . Ngezinye izikhathi ngivele ngimemeze.”—uEvan oneminyaka eyi-11.

UDADEWENU ushisa ihembe lakho olithandayo. Uthisha ukunika amamaki amancane ekuhlolweni. Ngesikhathi ingubo yakho uyidingela umcimbi okhethekile, uziphu wayo uyaphuka. Ngentsha eningi, noma ikuphi ukuphazamiseka okunjalo, ukuphathwa kabi, nobunzima obuthile kungabangela imizwa enamandla yentukuthelo.

Isihloko esabhalwa nguDr. Georgia Witkin-Lanoil kumagazini iHealth siyachaza: “Njengoba ingqondo isabela esehlakalweni esithukuthelisa kakhulu, kuvuswa isimiso semizwelo esizenzekelayo. I-adrenaline ekhishwa izindlala ama-adrenal iqala ukuchithekela emgudwini wegazi, yenyuse ukushaya kwenhliziyo nokuphefumula, ibangele ukukhishwa kukashukela ogciniwe wamandla” Kuba namiphi imiphumela? “Izinyathelo esizithathayo lapho singaphansi kwethonya le-adrenaline yethu,” kuqhubeka uDr Witkinin-Lanoil, “ngokuvamile ziba ngezidlulele. Siyamemeza, sikhulume ngokhahlo amaqiniso angaphelele anenzondo, sishaye, silimaze, sone noma sisuke lapho ngokudikila.” Isihloko kumagazini i’Teen ngokufanayo saphawula ukuthi intukuthelo ingakwenza usho izinto ongaziqondile, ulahlekelwe abangane bakho—uze uzwe ngisho nebuhlungu ngaphakathi emzimbeni.”

Ingabe wake wacasuka? Uma kunjalo, awuwedwa. Njengabaningi bethu, akungabazeki kamuva wazizwa uyisiphukuphuku ngempela futhi wazibuza, ‘Kungani ngenze lokho?’ Yebo, kungani kunzima ngabanye ukulawula ulaka lwabo? Ingabe kuwufanele umzamo ukuzama ukwenza kanjalo?

Isizathu Sokuba Sithukuthele

Ingxenye yesizathu sokuba sikwazi ukuzizwa sithukuthele ngezinye izikhathi ukuthi senziwe “ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu.” (Genesise 1:27) uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe angathukuthela! Ngokwesibonelo, umphostoli uPawulu wathi: “Ngokuba intukuthelo kaNkulunkulu yambulwa ivela ezulwini phezu kwakho konke ukungamesabi uNkulunkulu nokungalungi kwabantu abathiya iqiniso ngokungalungi.”—Roma 1:18.

Phawula, nokho, ukuthi intukuthelo kaJehova uNkulunkulu isuka othandweni ngokulunga nokwahlulela ngokulunga. Intukuthelo kaNkulunkulu ayikhona nje ‘ukulahlekelwa kwakhe ukuzibamba.’ Uyayilawula intukuthelo yakhe futhi ayibonise ngendlela elungile. Ngakho, lapho eletha imbumbiso ezweni elonakele ngozamcolo wembulunga yonke, akahlulekanga ukulawula isimo. Kunalokho, “wamlondoloza uNowa . . . engowesishiyagalombili.” (2 Petru 2:5) Ngakho-ke uNkulunkulu angachazwa ‘njengoNkulunkulu ogcwele isihe, onomusa, ophuza ukuthukuthela, novame ubumnene neqiniso.’—Eksodusi 34:6.

Ngenxa yokuthi uNkulunkulu wadala abantu ngomfanekiso wakhe, sinomuzwa wangaphakathi wokwahlulela ngokulunga. Ngakho lapho sibhekene nokuphathwa ngokungafanele noma ngokungemthetho, ngokwemvelo singayizwa intukuthelo yenyuka ngaphakathi kithi. Lokhu kwenzeka kubantu abaningana abesaba uNkulunkulu ezikhathini zeBhayibheli.

Ngokwesibonelo, uMose, umholi wesizwe sakwaIsrayeli, wathukuthela lapho amadoda athile ehola ekuhlubukeni kuye. (Numeri 16:1, 15) Futhi ngisho noJesu Kristu wayibonisa intukuthelo! Lapho ephawula ukuthi abantu babeqhuba ibhizinisi lezentengiselwano ethempelini likaNkulunkulu lokukhulekela, wayala ngolaka: “Susani lokhu lapha, ningayenzi indlu kaBaba indlu yokuthengelana.” (Johane 2:13-16) Ngakho intukuthelo yokulunga imfanele umKristu.

Ngeshwa, intukuthelo yethu ngokuvamile ayinazo izisusa ezinhle. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, sonke ‘siphansi kwesono.’ Ngakho liyaqhubeka: “Akakho olungileyo, akakho noyedwa.” (Roma 3:9, 10) Ngakho-ke, ukungapheleli kwethu—nokwehluleka kwabanye—kuyimithombo enamandla yokukhungatheka. “Ngezinye izikhathi abantu bakucasula kakhulu,” kusho uStephanie osemncane.

Kodwa sivame ukuthukuthela ngaphandle kwesizathu esifanele! Ngokungafani noJehova obona yonke into, thina sinombono olinganiselwe nganoma yini. (Heberu 4:12, 13) Ngokwesibonelo, indoda ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yaphawula ukuthi “izwi elilukhuni livusa ulaka.” (IzAga 15:1) Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi “izwi” lishiwo kungaqondiwe okubi, noma liyihlaya elishiwo ngesikhathi esingafanele noma isigcono sokudlala. Ngokungakuqapheli lokhu siyathukuthela.

Okokugcina, kukhona iqiniso lokuthi isimo sabantu sihlukahlukene futhi abanye bethu bayashesha ukuthukuthela kunabanye. Futhi njengomuntu osemusha usaqala ukufunda ukulawula zonke izifiso ezintsha ezilethwa isikhathi sokuthomba. Ungase uzizwe ungaqiniseki ngawe ngokwakho, uzwela ngokweqile lapho ugxekwa. Uyoba isisulu sokucasulwa—ikakhulukazi okuvela emkhayeni, kuze kube yilapho ukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho. “Uyangicasula udadewethu,” kuvuma uLorie oneminyaka eyi-15. “Uyazi ukuthi angangiqala kanjani ngokusho into ewubuphukuphuku noma ngokulungisa yonke into engiyishoyo.” Ukungezwani kungaphakama ngendlela efanayo phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho.

Nokho, eqinisweni, cishe noma yini ingakwenza uthukuthele uma uyivumela. Nanku umbuzo, Uyisingatha kanjani leyomizwa yentukuthelo?

Intukuthelo Eyekelelwe

Incwadi ethi Reaching Your Teenager yaphawula ukuthi “abantu abaningi abazi ukuthi bangayibonisa kanjani intukuthelo ngendlela enengqondo.” Abanye bathukuthela njengabantwana. Abanye baba nobudlova, ngamazwi noma ngokoqobo. Abanye babonakala bezothile ngaphandle kodwa bebe bethukuthele beqhuma ngaphakathi. Njengoba omunye wesifazane osemusha asho: “Uma ngithukuthele angimemezi, anginamusa futhi angikhulumi.” Abanye bangena ezimotweni zabo futhi bakhiphele intukuthelo yabo endleleni abashayela ngayo.

Nokho, intukuthelo eyekelelwayo ayivamile ukuba eyakhayo. UProfessor Gary Schwartz waseYale University uthi intukuthelo ibanga imiphumela emibi nehlala isikhathi eside enhliziyweni kunanoma imuphi omunye umuzwa, ngisho nokwesaba.’ UDr. Redford B. Williams, Jr., waseDuke University wathi: “Ukuhlola okuningana manje kusikisela ukuthi okuningi kakhulu ukufa ngaphambi kwesikhathi kungenzeka kuhlangene nenzondo.” Ngokuqinisekile akunakuba okunempilo ukuqala umkhuba wokuthukuthela nganoma yikuphi okumcasulayo. “Inhliziyo ezolileyo ingukuphila kwenyama,” kusho esinye isaga sakudala.—IzAga 14:30.

Futhi intukuthelo engalawulwa ngokuvamile yenza isimo sibe sibi. Khumbula indaba yeBhayibheli yezelamani ezimbili, oSimeyoni noLevi udadewabo owoniwa ngokobulili. Ngokuqondakalayo, bathukuthela ngempela lapho bezwa ngakho! Kodwa bayibonakalisa kanjani intukuthelo yabo? lBhayibheli lithi benza amasu okuba babulale ngonya insizwa eyayinecala lokudlwengula—nabesilisa bomkhaya wakubo nabantu bendawo yakubo!—Genesise, isahluko 34.

Eminyakeni eminingi kamuva ocansini lwakhe lokufa, uyise wasikhumbula lesisehlakalo sobudlova. Ingabe wabatusa ngempindiselo yabo yolaka? Ngokuphambene, waqalekisa ulaka lwabo ngoba “lwalunamandla, nentukuthelo yabo, ngokuba yayinonya.” (Genesise 49:7) Yebo, lokho ababekwenzile ngenxa yentukuthelo yabo kwakukubi nangaphezu kwesisusa saleyontukuthelo! Babengafezanga lutho olwakhayo futhi babonakalise idumela labo.

Akumangalisike, ukuthi isaga sithi: “Isififane siyenza ubuwula.” (IzAga 14:17) Akuvamile ukuba umuntu othukuthele acabange noma enze ngokunengqondo. Akuvamile ukuba umuntu othukuthele afune ukuthola izindlela zobuKristu zokulungisa umonakalo. Ngakho, amazwi omlobi weBhayibheli uJakobe ayiqiniso: “Ulaka lomuntu alusebenzi ukulunga kukaNkulunkulu.” (Jakobe 1:20) Ukuthukuthela, amazwi enhlamba, nokuqumba akwakhi.

Yiqiniso, ukudedela ithala lamazwi kumuntu okonile kungaba kuhle ngalesosikhathi. Kodwa ngokuvamile uyazisola ngalokho kufutheka—ikakhulukazi uma lowo kungumqashi, uthisha, noma umzali! (Qhathanisa nomShumayeli 10:4) Ngakho izAga 29:11 zithi: “Isiwula sikhipha lonke ulaka lwaso, kepha ohlakaniphile uyalugodla ekugcineni.”

Kodwa ungakwenza kanjani lokho? Isihloko esilandelayo sizoxoxa ngalokhu.

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 12]

IUkungapheleli kwethu—iyokwehluleka kwabanye—kuyimithombo enamandla yokukhungatheka

[Isithombe ekhasini 23]

Ingabe kuyifanele intukuthelo yakho?