Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingasebenzelana Kanjani Nabazali Abanemizwa Eguquguqukayo?

“INKINGA yami,” kusho uClaudia, “ukuthi umama uyashesha ukuthinteka ngokomzwelo futhi uyisififane.a Ngolunye usuku wabuza ukuthi sasiqhubeke kanjani isifundo sami sopiyano. Ngamane nje ngathi sasiqhubeke kahle futhi ngahamba ngayoprakthiza upiyano. Umama wangena, ethukuthele wathi ngiyedelela, ngemva kwalokho waphuma esathukuthele. Ngacasuka futhi ngagaklaza upiyano ngase ngigijimela ekamelweni lami. Khona-ke umama weza futhi wangithethisela ukugaklaza upiyano.”

Abazali ngempela bangase basheshe ukuthinteka ngokomzwelo lapho bengajabulile. Ngezinye izikhathi ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ugawule ubheke uma unabo, ngokuthuthumela ulindele isikhathi esilandelayo sokugxekwa, uthethiswe, noma usolwe ngisho nokusolwa. Nokho, isihloko esithi “Kungani Abazali Bami Benemizwa Eguquguquka Kangaka?” esikumagazini i-Phaphama! owandulelayo, sabonisa ukuthi kungokuvamile ngabazali ukuba babe nemizwa eguquguqukayo ngezikhathi ezithile. Ukucindezeleka, ukukhathala, impilo ebuthakathaka, nokucindezela kokuphila ngokuvamile kuyizimbangela.b Ukukwazi lokhu kungase kukusize ukuba uzwelane nabazali bakho. (Qhathanisa nezAga 19:11.) Kodwa lokhu akulishintshi iqiniso lokuthi ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube nzima ukusebenzelana nabo. Yini ongayenza ukuze wenze izinto zibe ngcono?

Izimpawu Ezixwayisayo

IzAga 24:3 zithi: “Indlu iyakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, iqiniswe ngokuqonda.” Ngokuvumelana nalesimiso, enye into ongayenza iwukuzama ukubona lapho abazali bakho bengajabulile. Umhubi wathi ngesimo sakhe siqu sokucindezeleka: “Usuku lonke ngihamba ngilila.” (IHubo 38:6) Ngokuqinisekile umuntu oqaphelayo wayengabona ukuthi kwakukhona okuthile okwakungalungile kuye! Ngendlela efanayo, ngokuvamile umzali uyoba nezimpawu ezisobala zokuthi akajabulile.

Ngakho ababhali abasebasha bencwadi ethi The Kids’ Book About Parents benza uhlu lwezimpawu ezixwayisayo ezivamile abantu abasha okufanele baziqaphele. Phakathi kwezinto ezaphawulwa ‘kwakungukudla kakhulu kwabazali, ukungaxoxi, ukuyolala ngokushesha, ukungabingeleli lapho befika ekhaya bevela emsebenzini, ukuthethisa wonke umuntu, ukuyishaya indiva imibuzo yakho,’ ‘nokugqolozela i-TV.’ Kweminye imikhaya, abazali bayaziwa ukuthi bathinteka ngokushesha ngokomzwelo ngezikhathi ezithile—njengalapho kufanele kukhokhwe izikweletu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, ngokuba oqaphelayo ungase ukwazi ukubona izimpawu ezixwayisayo zabazali bakho siqu.

‘Ingabe Kukhona Okungalungile?’

Khona-ke, yini oyenzayo lapho uba nomuzwa wokuthi umzali akeneme? Ingabe kufanele umgweme? Akudingekile. IzAga 15:20 zithi: “Indodana ehlakaniphileyo iyajabulisa uyise.” Lokhu akusho ukuthi kumelwe uzithwese izinkinga zokukhula zabazali bakho. Empeleni, umzali ngamunye kumelwe ‘athwale owakhe umthwalo.’ (Galathiya 6:5) Kodwa okungenani ungabonisa ukuthi unesithakazelo kubo. Ngokwesibonelo, ungabuza ngokuhlakanipha: ‘Ingabe kukhona okungalungile?’ (Qhathanisa noNehemiya 2:1, 2.) Kungase kube nokuncane ongakwenza ukuze ushintshe isimo noma kungabibikho, kodwa bangase bakwazise ukuba kwakho nesithakazelo sothando enhlalakahleni yabo.

Nansi indlela osemusha ogama lakhe linguKama ayitusayo yokusingatha izinto lapho umzali onemizwa eguquguqukayo efika ekhaya: “Ngemva kokumbingelela, yiya ekamelweni lakho okwesikhashana, kuze kube yilapho sebephumulile. Khona-ke phuma ubabuze ukuthi yini engalungile nokuthi belunjani usuku lwabo . . . Buza ukuthi akukho yini abafuna ukwenze.” Ngezinye izikhathi, ukumane nje ubonise umzali ukunakekela okudingekayo noma uthando kungase kuqede ukungajabuli.

Encwadini yakhe ethi My Parents Are Driving Me Crazy, uDkt. Joyce Vedral ulandisa indlela intombazane ethile eyevé eshumini elinambili egama layo linguDeena eyasabela ngayo entukuthelweni kanina. UDeena uthi: “Lapho ngiphuma [ekamelweni lami] futhi ngimbona enesimo sokukhononda ebusweni, ngambamba futhi ngamgona ngaphambi kokuba enze noma yini ukuze anginqande. Khona-ke ngamanga kakhulu futhi ngathi, ‘Ngiyakuthanda, Mama.’ Wawungayibona indlela isimo sakhe esashintsha ngayo—ngokuphazima kweso.” UDkt. Vedral uyaphetha: “Ikhambi eliphumelelayo lomzali okhonondayo uthando lomzwelo. . . . Uthando lomzwelo ngempela lungavusa imizwa yenjabulo.” IBhayibheli likubeka ngalendlela: “Uthando luyakha.”—1 Korinte 8:1.

Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi abazali bakho babonakala bethukuthelele wena siqu. Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi kungani, zama ukwenza abazali bakho bakhulume ukuze baveze noma yiziphi izikhalo. (Qhathanisa nezAga 20:5.) Ngokwesibonelo, intombazanyana ethile egama layo linguRuth, yaphawula ukuthi yona noyise babelokhu “beqhubeka beqhelelana” nokuthi wayeseqale ukugxeka ngokweqile amamaki ayo. Ngemva kwengxoxo yomkhaya ngesihloko esithi “Intsha Iyabuza . . .” uRuth wabuza ukuthi yini eyayikhathaza uyise. “Sathola ukuthi uBaba wayezama ukuphumelela ngabantwana bakhe, njengoba yena aphoqeleka ukuba ashiye isikole. Wayefuna ukuba sibe nemiphumela emihle.” Lapho uRuth etholé amamaki angaphansi kwayelindelekile, uyise wayethukuthela. Waba yini umphumela wengxoxo yabo? Uthi: “Yangisiza ukuba ngibheke izinto ngendlela ayezibheka ngayo.” Ngokuqinisekile, nobaba wakhe kwadingeka enze ukulungisa okuthile ekucabangeni kwakhe. URuth uyabika: “Izinto seziqala ukuba ngcono.”

Ngokuba nengxoxo efanayo, ungase uthole ukuthi abazali bakho banezizathu ezifanele zokuba bakuthukuthelele. Kungase nje kube into elula njengokukhohlwa ukwenza umsebenzi othile owabelwe wasendlini. IzAga 10:5 ziyakhumbuza: “Obutha ehlobo uyindodana ehlakaniphileyo; olele ubuthongo ngesikhathi sokuvuna uyindodana ehlazisayo.” Mhlawumbe ukukhuthala ngokwengeziwe kungenza lukhulu ekwenzeni ngcono imizwa eguquguqukayo yabazali bakho.

Yenza Ngokuhlakanipha!

Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi umzali angase nje abe umuntu ongakhulumi ngokukhululekile, futhi yonke imizamo yokumkhuthaza ukuba enze kanjalo angase ayithukuthelele noma amelane nayo. Kuthiwani-ke? IBhayibheli lisitshela indlela uDavide, lapho esemusha, abhekana ngayo nesimo esibucayi ngokufanayo. Lapho esemusha uDavide wasebenza esigodlweni seNkosi uSawule njengomculi. Nokho, uSawule wayenemizwa eguquguquka ngokungaqondakali futhi eyisififane. Phela, ngesinye isikhathi uSawule wazama ukuhlanganisa uDavide nodonga ngomkhonto! Nokho, phawula lokho iBhayibheli elikushoyo ku-1 Samuweli 18:14 ngokuziphatha kukaDavide: “UDavide waziphatha ngokuhlakanipha kuzo zonke izindlela zakhe; uJehova wayenaye.”

Bambalwa abazali ababheva njengeNkosi uSawule. Nakuba kunjalo, kungase kudingeke ukuba uhlakaniphe lapho usebenzelana nabo. Ngokwesibonelo, uSam osemusha uthi: “UBaba wami akayena umKristu, futhi uyahluthuka! Lapho ekuthukuthelela, ukuthethisa ngempela. Kumelwe ukuqaphele ngempela lokho okushoyo nokwenzayo. Kumelwe uzame ukuba ungamcasuli.” IBhayibheli likubeka ngalendlela: “Oqondileyo uyabona ububi acashe.”—IzAga 22:3.

Eqinisweni lokhu akusho ukuthi kumelwe ubagweme abazali bakho. Zama ukuba nomusa nobungane ngangokunokwenzeka. Uma ukhathaza umzali okhonondayo ngemibuzo engenasidingo noma ngezinkinga ezincane obekungaxoxwa ngazo ngesinye isikhathi, ungase uzidonsele amanzi ngomsele. (Qhathanisa nezAga 15:23; 25:11.) Ngempela, lapho becindezelekile futhi bekhathele, bangase ngisho bazizwe njengendoda elungile uJobe lapho ibuza: “Koze kube-nini nihlupha umphefumulo wami?” (Jobe 19:2) Ngakho-ke uyobe wenza ngokuhlakanipha uma ugwema noma yimiphi imikhuba ecasulayo owaziyo ukuthi iyabacasula abazali bakho—njengokuqhumisa ushingamu noma ukuqhwabaza iminwe yakho. Ngokufanayo, kungaba ukungabacabangeli ukuvulela kakhulu umsakazo wakho noma ithelevishini.

Enye indlela yokwenza ngokuhlakanipha iwukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala. Ingabe uMama uhlala engajabulile lapho efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini? Uma ufika kuqala ekhaya, kungani ungalungisi itafula, uchithe udoti, noma uhlanze izitsha? Bingelela umama wakho ngothando. Izenzo ezinjalo zingamenza abheke phambili ekubuyeleni ekhaya. Enye intombazane eyevé eshumini elinambili egama layo linguJulie ithatha isinyathelo esinjalo kuqala. Ithi: “Umama ushayela ibhasi lesikole, futhi ngokuvamile ufika ekhaya ecasukile. Ngakho kufanele ngingaveli. Ngimane nje ngingamphazamisi lize lehle igwebu. Khona-ke ngimnakekelela abantwana noma ngihlanze noma ngimenzele okuthile.”

Zama ngangokunokwenzeka ukuyigwema, ngokuqinisekile ingxabano ethile engase ibe khona lapho abazali bethinteka ngokushesha ngokomzwelo noma beyizififane. Lapho lokhu kwenzeka, ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli kungakusiza ukuba ugweme ukwenza isimo sibe sibi kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, izAga 15:1 zithi: “Impendulo ethambileyo iyabuyisa ukufutheka, kepha izwi elilukhuni livusa ulaka.” Isiqondiso esengeziwe sinikezwe kuzAga 17:27, ezifundeka kanje: “Obamba amazwi akhe unokwazi; onomoya opholileyo ungumuntu oqondileyo.” Futhi khumbula ukuthi, nakuba abazali bengajabuli ngezinye izikhathi, ngokunokwenzeka futhi zikhona izikhathi lapho bekujabulela, bekwenamela, bekuthokozela khona ukuba nawe eduze. Zijabulele lezo zikhathi, futhi zisebenzise njengethuba lokuhlakulela ubuhlobo obuhle nabazali bakho. Kuyokwenza izikhathi ezinzima zingabi nzima kakhulu.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Abazali abasebenzayo baba nokwazisa lapho abantwana babo besiza ngemisebenzi yasendlini