Ungamshayi Indiva Umngane Wakho!
UMBHANGQWANA usuyahamba eHholo LoMbuso. Ubuso obumamathekayo bendoda nomfazi bubonisa injabulo abayijabulelayo ‘njengabanyamanye,’ bemunye ekukhulekeleni uNkulunkulu wabo, uJehova. (Mathewu 19:6) Nokho, akukhona ukuthi bebelokhu bejabulela lobobunye noma behlanganyela inkolelo efanayo. Kunesikhathi lapho umfazi, uAtsuko, ayeya yedwa emihlanganweni. Khona-ke wayebuyela ekhaya kumyeni ocasukile owayemthethisa. Umyeni wakhe, uKazutaka, wake wathukuthela kangangokuthi wabamba itafula elase lidekiwe, futhi ngokuligumbuqela kanye nje, wachithela phansi konke ukudla kwakusihlwa.
Njengoba nje uJesu abikezela, ubuKristu beqiniso buye baletha ukwahlukana kweminye imikhaya. (Mathewu 10:34, 35) Nokho, njengoKazutaka noAtsuko, abanye manje bajabulela ubunye obungokwenkolo nenjabulo ekhaya labo. Yebo, ubunye obunjalo abuzenzekelanga nje. Yini abakholwayo abayenza ukuze banqobe ukuphikisa futhi balethe ukuzwana kwangempela emkhayeni? Ngaphambi kokuba sihlole lokho, ake sibone sona kanye isizathu esenza ukuba abanye abangane bomshado baphikise.
Kungani Babephikisa?
“Njengoba ngibheka emuva,” kuvuma uAtsuko, “ngiyaqaphela ukuthi ngangiya emihlanganweni ngaphandle kokumchazela lokhu umyeni wami.” Eshiywé yedwa engatshelwanga, uKazutaka wayethukuthela.
Amalangabi okuphikisa angase abhebhetheke futhi ngenxa yesikhwele. Omunye umyeni osemncane, uShigeo, waba nezinsolo ezingenasisekelo ngabangane bomkakhe abasha. “Njengoba umkami ayezilungisa futhi eya emihlanganweni, ngangicabanga ukuthi usenenye indoda.” “Asikaze ngempela sibe nethuba lokuthululelana izifuba,” kuvuma uMasako, umkakhe. “Angikaze ngisiveze isifiso sami esisenhliziyweni sokuba naye afunde iqiniso lobuKristu.”
UToshiko, inkosikazi yekhaya, wazizwa njengoShigeo. “Lapho umyeni wami eqala ukufunda noFakazi BakaJehova, ngaphikisa ngoba kancane kancane wasengeza isikhathi ayesichitha nebandla. Ngangiphuza utshwala ukuze ngizikhulule emizweni yami lapho esahambile.”
Amazwi kaToshiko athinta esinye isizathu—isizungu. Yileyondlela abanye ababephikisa ababezizwa ngayo lapho abangane babo beya njalo emihlanganweni yabo. “Ngingedwa endlini, ngangizizwa ngilahliwe,” kukhumbula enye indoda. “Ngangiba nomuzwa wokuthi umkami nabantwana babengishiya,” kusho enye. Njengoba amadoda amaningi ekuthola kunzima ukuthi, “Nginesizungu, ngicela ungayi ndawo,” amanye aphendukela ekuphikiseni umkhuba ongokwenkolo womngane wawo.
Ukucindezela okuvela kubangane nasezihlotsheni ngezinye izikhathi kungase kuholele ekuphikiseni komngane oqondayo ngokuvamile. Kuyadabukisa ukuthi eMpumalanga ngokuvamile umfazi “uthathwa njengesitholwa emkhayeni kunokuba ahlanganiswe nomyeni wakhe.” Ukucindezela okuvela ezihlotsheni kalula nje kungadala ukungezwani. UmkaTakashi ongumKristu wenqaba ukuba nengxenye ekukhulekeleni ealtare likaBuddha lomkhaya. “Okwenza izinto zaba nzima,” kuchaza uTakashi, “sasihlala eduze nabazali bami. Umama wangicindezela, ngakho ngasongela umkami futhi ngasebenzisa ubudlova.”
Ukungazwisisani, okwenziwa kube kubi ngokwedlulele ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana okuhle, isikhwele, isizungu, noma ukucindezela okuvela ezihlotsheni, kungaphumela ebudloveni. Indoda eyayivame ukushaya umkayo iyavuma: “Ngangingafuni ukulahlekelwa umkhaya wami uthathwe inkolo.” Omunye uthi: “Ngangikuzonda ukufika ekhaya kukhala ibhungane.” Mhlawumbe babecabanga, ‘Uma amazwi engayivimbi lentshiseko engokwenkolo, izibhakela ezimbalwa zizoyivimba.’
Ngokujabulisayo, yonke lemibhangqwana okukhulunywe ngayo ngenhla kamuva yaba munye ekukhulekeleni. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwayo okukhathazayo manje sekungokwesikhathi esidlule. Kodwa njengoba yahlangabezana nakho, isesimweni esihle sokunikeza ukusikisela okuwusizo okungasiza ekuthobiseni izimo ezifuna ukuba nobudlova futhi mhlawumbe kulethe ukukhulekela okunobunye emikhayeni esahlukene kulesici.
Namathela Eqinisweni
Uma ulula isandla sakho ukuze udonse umuntu ominzayo emanzini, kumelwe wena ngokwakho ume uqine. Uma kungenjalo, nawe ngokufanayo ungase ugcine emanzini. Ngokufanayo, isihluthulelo sokusiza umngane wakho siwukuba wena ngokwakho ubambelele ngokuqinile eqinisweni elisindisa ukuphila. “Lapho ukuphikisa kwami kusezingeni elibi kakhulu,” kusho omunye owayephikisa, “umkami waqhubeka ethatha abantwana ngesandla futhi aye nabo emihlanganweni. Uma wayeke wayekethisa, mhlawumbe ngabe ngangabaza ukuthi ukholo lwakhe lwalungolweqiniso.”
UKazutaka, owagumbuqela itafula elinokudla kwakusihlwa, wembula lokho okwashintsha isimo sakhe sengqondo njengoba elandisa ingxenye esele yendaba yakhe: “Ekugcineni, ngenqaba ukunikeza uAtsuko imali yokugibela. Ngisho noma kunjalo, wayeya kuyo yonke imihlangano futhi ehamba nabantwana. Ukuze enze lokho, wathengisa izimpahla zakhe siqu, kancane kancane. Ngazizwa ngiyisilima futhi ngaphelelwa umdlandla wokumphikisa. Kunalokho, ngaqala ukufunda omagazini ayengishiyela bona ukuba ngibabone.”
Khulumisana Nomngane Wakho
“Kwakumelwe ngimeme umyeni wami ukuba angilandele futhi ngimenze azi ukuthi ngangifuna ukuba sitadishe iBhayibheli ndawonye,” kusho umkaKazutaka, uAtsuko. “Wayekhathazeka ngami nangomkhaya. Ukukhulumisana okuhle ngabe kwenza okukhulu ekuqedeni ukukhathazeka kwakhe.” Yebo, ukukhulumisana okuhle kuyisihluthulelo sokuzwisisana. IBhayibheli liyaluleka: “Kukhona ukushafa kwamacebo lapho ingekho khona inkulumo eyimfihlo.” (IzAga 15:22, NW) Kulomongo, “inkulumo eyimfihlo” nomngane wakho ngokuphathelene nemisebenzi yakho engokwenkolo kumelwe icatshangisiswe kahle futhi yenziwe ngobuhlakani. “Inhliziyo yohlakaniphileyo iyafundisa umlomo wakhe, yenezele imfundiso ezindebeni zakhe,” kusho iBhayibheli. (IzAga 16:23) Kubaluleke ngokufanayo ukuba ngoqondayo ekukhetheni isikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma.—UmShumayeli 3:7.
Mhlawumbe indlela okhuluma ngayo ibaluleke ngokufanayo nalokho okushoyo. Umphostoli uPawulu uyayala: “Ukukhuluma kwenu makube-nomusa njalo, kuyolisiwe ngosawoti, ukuze nazi enifanele ukubaphendula ngakho bonke abantu.” (Kolose 4:6) Uma ukhuluma ngomusa, ngendlela emnandi, umngane wakho ngeke athambekele ekuvaleni izindlebe zakhe kulokho okushoyo.
Amadoda amaningi akuthola kunzima ukufundiswa omkawo. Ngakho abafazi kudingeka babe namasu. UKikuyo wazisebenzisa kahle izincwadi zeWatch Tower Society. Uthi: “Ngokushesha nje lapho iPhaphama! yami ifika ngeposi, ngangiyibheka ukuze ngibone izihloko ezingathakazelisa umyeni wami. Khona-ke ngangithandazela ithuba lokuzihlanganyela naye.” Wayeshiya umagazini ekamelweni lokugezela futhi ahlole amakhasi nsuku zonke ukuze abone ukuthi wayesifundile yini isihloko. Uma kungabonakali ukuthi wayeqhubeka nokufunda, wayewushintsha umagazini. Umyeni kaKikuyo manje useyinceku ekhonzayo nephayona.
Amandla Okuziphatha Okuhle
Kodwa kuthiwani uma umngane wakho engazimisele ukuxoxa nawe ngenkolo? Ukujwayelana namanye amaKristu kungathiba ukuphikisa okuvuthayo komngane wakho futhi kumshukumisele ukuba atadishe iBhayibheli. UMasao, manje ongumdala, ngesinye isikhathi wayebavimbela oFakazi BakaJehova ukuba babeke unyawo ekhaya lakhe. Uyakhumbula: “Ekugcineni ngasivuma isifundo seBhayibheli noFakazi ngemva kokuba umkami engincengile ukuba ngiyosiza ekwakheni iHholo LoMbuso. Ngathinteka ukubona bonke abantu besebenza ndawonye ngenjabulo—ngaphandle kweholo.”
Yini ongayenza uma umngane wakho enqaba ukuxoxa ngenkolo nanoma ubani? “Uma ekhona angakholwa yizwi,” kunxusa umphostoli uPetru, “angase azuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngokuziphatha [kwabangane] bawo.” Ngokwesibonelo, luhlobo luni lokuziphatha komfazi ongumKristu olungazuza umyeni wakhe? “Ukuziphatha okuhlanzekile kanye nenhlonipho ejulile” eyembula “umuntu osithekileyo wenhliziyo ohloba ngokungabhubhiyo komoya omnene onokuthula,” kusho uPetru.—1 Petru 3:1-4, qhathanisa neNW.
Omunye umfazi ongumKristu wasebenzisa lesimiso lapho umyeni wakhe ophikisayo ehileleke ekukhwabaniseni. Nakuba kwamlethela ihlazo emphakathini nenkinga engokwezimali, akazange ezwe ngisho nelilodwa izwi lokukhononda elivela kumkakhe noma kubantwana. “Ngangazi ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo okuvelele kwakungenxa yokutadisha kwabo iBhayibheli,” kuvuma indoda. Ngemva kweminyaka eminingi yokuphikisa, yaqala ukufunda iBhayibheli. Amanye amadoda aba oFakazi kamuva ayaphawula: “Ngangikade ngiyindoda edonswa ngekhala, kodwa ngokushesha umkami wangihlonipha njengenhloko yekhaya.” “Lapho abangane bami engisebenza nabo befika ekhaya, umkami wayebamukela ngokufudumele. Ngangikuthanda lokho.”
Futhi, ukuziphatha okuhle kwabantwana kungathambisa inhliziyo yabaphikisi. Ebuzwa ukuthi yini eyashintsha isimo sakhe sengqondo, ubaba owayekade ephikisa umkakhe wathi: “Lapho indodana yami eneminyaka emibili nengxenye iba nomuzwa wokuthi sengizoqhuma ngentukuthelo, yayikhala ngezwi elikhulu iphinde amazwi athi: ‘Uthando luyabekezela, uthando lumnene.’” (1 Korinte 13:4-7) Lomfana ofundiswe kahle washukumisela uyise ukuba ahlole iBhayibheli. Obaba abaningi baye banquma ukuhlola iBhayibheli ngoba abantwana babo babancenga ukuba bafunde.
Ekugcineni, isimo sokujabula nokuba namahlaya kungenza izimanga esimweni sengqondo somngane wakho. Enye indoda yatshela umkayo okholwayo ukuba athathe noma yini ayeyifuna futhi aphume, angaphinde abuye. “Angifuni mntanami, namali, nazinto ezibonakalayo,” kuphendula umkakhe. Wayesendlala ifuroshiki enkulu (indwangu esetshenziswa eJapane ukubopha nokuthwala izinto) wayesethi: “Akukho lutho oluyigugu kimi ngaphezu kwakho. Ngena kuyifuroshiki! Ngifuna ukuhamba nawe.” Indoda yayeka ukuphikisa, yaqala ukutadisha iBhayibheli, futhi manje ikhonza njengomdala.
Uma unamathela eqinisweni, ulondoloza ukukhulumisana okuhle, wenza kube nobudlelwane obuhle, futhi uziphatha ngendlela enhle, ungase ukwazi ukusiza umngane wakho ukuba abe yikholwa. “Ngisho noma kungabonakali sengathi umngane wakho uba yikholwa,” kusho owayephikisa, “kungenzeka uyashintsha enhliziyweni.” Ngakho ungadangali. Sithathe ngokungathi sína isikhuthazo sikamphostoli uPawulu kubo bonke labo abanabangane abangakholwa: “Wena-mfazi, wazi ngani ukuthi ungeyisindise indoda yakho? Nawe-ndoda, wazi ngani ukuthi ungemsindise umkakho na?”—1 Korinte 7:16.