Negative Emotions​—Can You Overcome Them?

“OF COURSE NOT! Negative emotions are too powerful. I have no choice but to endure them until they pass.”

That is how many respond to the idea of overcoming emotions such as anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, guilt, self-​pity, and depression. But those emotions can be overcome. Rather than surrender to them whenever they arise, you can learn to lessen their intensity, perhaps even eliminate them.

Of course, there is a significant difference between the normal negative emotions that are experienced by everyone and severe depression. The latter may require professional treatment. The former do not, and these are the emotions we can learn to cope with.

Actually, not all negative emotions are harmful. For example, when you make a serious mistake, you may express remorse in proportion to the mistake. If this moves you to correct it and avoid repeating it in the future, then the emotion has had a positive long-​term effect. Or the normal concern you may have about a problem may move you to tackle it with vigor and seek a reasonable solution. That too is a healthy response.

However, what if after you do what you reasonably can to correct a mistake, your feelings of guilt or worthlessness still cling to you, perhaps persisting for a long time afterward? Or what if after you resolve a problem to the extent possible, your feelings of worry remain and even intensify? Then your emotional responses may make you miserable. How, then, can you overcome those emotional responses? The key may be found in controlling our thinking.

We Can Control Our Thinking

Many who work in the field of mental health maintain that our feelings are caused by our thoughts. For example, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer points out: “You cannot have a feeling (emotion) without first having experienced a thought.” Dr. David D. Burns further states: “Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.”

Interestingly, the Bible likewise attributes much of what we feel to our choice of thoughts, so it emphasizes the need to control our thinking. Note the following verses:

“All the days of the afflicted one are bad; but the one that is good at heart has a feast constantly.”​—Proverbs 15:15.

“Quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, that you may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”​—Romans 12:2.

“We are bringing every thought into captivity to make it obedient to the Christ.”​—2 Corinthians 10:5.

“You should put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct . . . ; you should be made new in the force actuating your mind, and should put on the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.”​—Ephesians 4:22-24.

“Whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, continue considering these things.”​—Philippians 4:8.

“Keep your minds fixed on the things above, not on the things upon the earth.”​—Colossians 3:2.

Since your feelings are chiefly a product of your thinking, the key to overcoming your negative emotions is to control the thoughts that support them. With sufficient effort and time, you can learn to bring your thoughts under greater control. It therefore follows that you can do the same to your feelings.

True, it is easy to say that we can overcome our negative emotions. But it is something else actually to do it. How, then, can we proceed to cope with these emotions that may cause us so much difficulty?

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Not all negative emotions are harmful