How Some Have Learned to Overcome Negative Emotions
AT TIMES everyone has negative emotions. Because of severe problems, such as serious illness, advanced age, or the death of loved ones, some may have deeply rooted negative emotions that can adversely affect their lives.
However, even among the latter, there are those who have learned to bring these emotions under control so that they can get on successfully with their daily activities. The following are examples of such ones, as interviewed by Awake! magazine.
Janis receives medical treatment for an illness that affects her emotions. However, she states: “I found that the most effective way to cope with the problem is to take charge of my thoughts. I do this by doing things for others, like baking and sewing. I also make it a point to dwell on pleasant memories and future events that I look forward to. Because of my illness, none of this is easy. Sometimes it would be easier to give in and feel bad. But the good results are worth the effort.”
After 45 years of marriage, Ethel’s husband died. Though she did not bypass the grieving process, Ethel does manage to control her emotions. She explains: “I keep myself busy doing things for others. For example, I enjoy teaching others about God’s purposes as found in the Bible. One young lady was so happy about the good things she was learning that her appreciation helped me to be more joyful. As I concentrate on the positive things in the Bible in order to teach others, it helps to force out negative thoughts in my mind. Too, younger women will come to me for help with various problems, and talking about the positive things they can do in their lives also helps me to overcome negative emotions.”
Arthur had for many years led a busy, active life. Then, because of a serious illness, he had to discontinue secular work and restrict all activity outside the home. For many months Arthur felt useless and depressed. How did he handle these feelings? “I stopped dwelling on what I could no longer do. Instead, I focused on what I could do to help other people improve themselves and to encourage them when they were depressed. Being restricted to my home, I use the telephone a lot. As I became busy helping and encouraging others, I had little time to feel sorry for myself.”
Following a series of crises, including the death of her husband, Nita understandably experienced severe sadness and depression. In time she learned to control those feelings: “When a feeling of sadness comes over me, I seek a constructive outlet. I force myself to take a walk, call a kind friend, listen to music, or do anything that I know from experience will ease the depression. I try to treat myself compassionately just as I would a good friend.”
Mary has had severe medical problems for 32 years. Confined to a wheelchair, she leaves home only for doctor appointments. How does Mary keep from being overwhelmed with discouragement? She explains: “My husband has been most supportive. Also, I frequently read upbuilding material. I call my friends regularly, and often take the initiative to invite them to my home. I enjoy their visits and do not use those occasions to complain or indulge in self-pity. I do not spend time dwelling on the negative things in my life because I have so many positive things going for me.”
Margaret is by nature a realistic thinker. “When negative feelings surface,” she says, “I seek out the company of a positive thinker—not an idealist—but someone who knows me well and will remind me of my successes and encourage me.”
Rose Marie has had five major operations over the years, and she and her husband have had seven deaths in their families in a recent period of a year and a half. Certainly, the weight of this caused negative emotions. However, they do not dwell on those things. Being Jehovah’s Witnesses, they are sustained by the positive and comforting hope that the Bible gives of a righteous new world near at hand where God “will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore.” Even the dead will be resurrected, for as Jesus said, “the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear [the voice of God’s Son] and come out.”—Revelation 21:4; John 5:28, 29.
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Janis controls her emotions by doing things for others, dwelling on pleasant memories, and looking forward to future events