When Violence Hits Home
“Human violence—be it a slap or a shove, a knifing or a shooting—occurs more frequently within the family circle than anywhere else in our society.”—Behind Closed Doors.
WALK down any street in America. In every other home, some form of domestic violence will occur at least once this year. And in 1 out of 4 homes, it will take place repeatedly. Ironically, many who are afraid to walk the streets at night are in greater danger at home.
But domestic violence is not just an American phenomenon. It occurs throughout the world. For example, in Denmark 2 out of 3 murders take place within the family. Research in Africa shows that of all murders those within the family vary from 22 to 63 percent, depending on the country. And in Latin America many people, especially women, are degraded, battered, or killed by macho men.
In Canada about a hundred women die each year at the hands of their husbands or common-law spouses. In the United States, with nearly ten times the population of Canada, each year some 4,000 women are killed by abusive husbands or boyfriends. Furthermore, each year some 2,000 children are killed by their parents, and the same number of parents are killed by their children.
Thus, the world over, husbands batter wives, wives strike husbands, parents beat children, children attack parents, and children are violent toward one another. “The most anger and violence that adults experience in their lives is from or toward a blood relative,” asserts the book When Families Fight, “and that anger is more intense than that experienced in any other relationship.”
The Family at War
Spouse abuse: Too often, husbands view the marriage license as a license to batter their wives. While women do strike men, the damage is not usually as extensive as that inflicted by men when they batter their mates. Parents magazine reports: “More than 95 percent of reported cases of [severe] spouse abuse involve a man battering a woman.”
A New York district attorney states: “Violence against women exists in epidemic proportions in American society. The FBI has estimated that . . . as many as 6 million women are battered every year.” While the number of incidents varies from country to country, reports show that the battering of females by males is epidemic in many, if not most, lands.
In the United States, it is estimated that “one in 10 women will be seriously assaulted (hit, kicked, bitten or worse) by her husband sometime during the course of her marriage.” When less serious cases are included, the magazine Family Relations states, “one in two women in the United States will experience domestic violence.”
In fact, a New York district attorney says that it has been determined that “wife-beating causes more injuries to women requiring hospitalization than all rapes, muggings and automobile accidents combined.”
Dr. Lois G. Livezey notes: “It is clear that violence against women and violence within families is commonplace, and that the perpetrators . . . are ordinary people. . . . It is a serious problem among all classes and races of the population.”
Victims at times blame themselves for the abuse, resulting in low self-esteem. Parents magazine explains: “The woman who lacks self-confidence and places little value on herself targets herself for abuse. . . . The typical abused woman fears planning and acting on her own behalf.”
Marital violence also has a detrimental effect on the children. They learn that violence can be used to manipulate others. Some mothers even report that their children use threats against them, such as, “I’ll get Daddy to hit you,” in order to get their way.
Child abuse: Each year millions of children face extreme physical punishment that could seriously injure, maim, or kill them. It is estimated that for every case of abuse reported, 200 cases are not reported. “For children, the home is often the most dangerous place to be,” claims the book Sociology of Marriage and the Family.
University professor John E. Bates says that abuse is the most powerful home influence affecting how a child behaves later in life. Dr. Susan Forward says: “I have found that no other life event so scars people’s self-esteem or sets them up for major emotional difficulties in adulthood.” Signs of aggression in difficult situations can be noticed even in children from four to five years of age. As they grow, such children have higher rates of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, criminal behavior, psychotic disturbances, and delayed development.
Understandably, many mistreated children harbor anger toward the parent who abuses them, but often they are also angry at the nonabusing parent for allowing the violence to continue. In the mind of a child, the silent witness may be viewed as an accomplice.
Senior abuse: An estimated 15 percent of Canada’s seniors suffer physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their adult children. One doctor predicts that “the situation can only worsen as more of the population becomes elderly, and the financial and emotional burdens on their children grow.” Similar fears are felt worldwide.
Often, the elderly are reluctant to report abuse. They may be dependent on the abuser and thus choose to continue living under appalling circumstances. “Next time” is the answer that one elderly woman invariably gave when asked when she would turn in her son and daughter-in-law to the authorities. They had beaten her so severely that she was hospitalized for a month.
Sibling abuse: This is a prevalent form of domestic violence. Some trivialize it, saying, “Boys will be boys.” However, more than half of the siblings in one survey had committed acts that would be serious enough for criminal prosecution had the acts been directed against someone outside the family.
Many feel that sibling abuse teaches a pattern that is carried into adulthood. In some it may be an even greater factor in later marital abuse than their having observed violence between their parents.
Dangerous Battleground
A legal researcher once estimated that police were called to handle family conflicts more often than all other criminal incidents combined. He also claimed that more policemen were killed when responding to family disturbance calls than when answering any other single type of call. “At least with a robbery you’re prepared,” said one policeman. “But walk into somebody’s house . . . You don’t know what you’re in for.”
After an extensive study of domestic violence, one research team in America concluded that, other than the military in wartime, the family is the most violent social unit in existence.
What causes family violence? Will it ever end? Is it ever justified? The following article will probe these questions.
[Blurb on page 4]
“Violence against women exists in epidemic proportions in American Society.”—A district attorney
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“For children, the home is often the most dangerous place to be.”—Sociology of Marriage and the Family