Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Makolo Anga Amasinthasintha?

“AMAYI ngwovuta,” akutero Jeanette wachichepere.a “Ngati atopa, amandizazira. Chilichonse chimene ndimanena chimakhala cholakwa.” Jim ali ndi vuto lofananalo. “Pamene kanthu kena kalakwika,” iye akutero, “amangokuzazira popanda chifukwa chenicheni. Mwachitsanzo, ngati galimoto lawo silidzuka. Atate amandizazira—monga ngati kuti ndine ndachititsa!”

Limeneli ndidandaulo lofala pakati pa achichepere: Makolo awo amasinthasintha, amakalipa, sungawadziŵe bwino. Lero, akhoza kukhala achimwemwe, ansangala, ndi odalirika. Maŵa, nkukhala opsinjika maganizo ndi osuliza kanthu kalikonse kamene ukunena ndi kuchita. “Amangondikalipira popanda chifukwa,” akudandaula motero wachichepere wina.

Komabe, monga momwe nthaŵi zina zingaonekere kukhala zosokoneza maganizo, pafupifupi aliyense—kuphatikizapo makolo—amasinthasintha panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Ndiyo mbali ya umunthu. Chotero Baibulo limatiuza za anthu osiyanasiyana kukhala ali mu “mkhalidwe wokondwera,” “mkhalidwe wodekha,” kapena ngakhale mu “mkhalidwe wankhondo.” (Estere 1:10, NW; Yobu 11:19, NW; Machitidwe 12:20, NW) Kusinthika kwina mumkhalidwe kumaonekera kukhala kuli kogwirizana ndi mkhalidwe wa thupi. Mwachitsanzo, akazi kaŵirikaŵiri amasinthasintha mkhalidwe mkati mwa nyengo za kusamba. Ndipo sikwachilendo kuti nthaŵi zina amuna ndi akazi omwe amachita tondovi pamasana ena kapena nthaŵi ya madzulo.

Zitsenderezo ndi Mavuto

Nkhani ya mu American Health imati: “Kaŵirikaŵiri kusintha kwa mkhalidwe nkogwirizana ndi thanzi la munthu. Pamene kuli kwakuti matenda ndi chakudya chosalongosoka zingakhale nakatande wake, kaŵirikaŵiri kutopa m’malingaliro ndiko choputira chachikulu.” Zinozo zili “nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa,” ndipo m’mabanja ambiri ngati siochulukitsitsa, amayi ndi atate omwe afunikira kugwira ntchito yolembedwa. (2 Timoteo 3:1) Kutopa ndi kuchita tondovi ndizo zinthu zofala. Atathodwa ndi zitsenderezo zosatha, makolo ena angalingalire monga Yobu wolungamayo, amene anadzifotokoza kukhala ‘wodzazidwa ndi mazunzo.’—Yobu 10:15; 14:1.

Pamene makolo ali otanganitsidwa kwambiri ndi mavuto awo, kulankhulana kungathe. Jason wachichepere akudandaula kuti: “Iwo amakuuza kuchita kanthu kena, ndipo umakachita. Komano amadzanena kuti anakuuza kuchita kanthu kena kosiyana ndi kameneko, ndiyeno amakwiya. Nawenso umakwiya, tsono amakulanga chifukwa cha kukwiya kwako!”

Nthaŵi zina zitsenderezo za moyo zingathetsenso mphamvu za makolo zofunikira posamalira zosoŵa zanu. Pa Miyambo 24:10 pamati: “Ukalefuka tsiku la tsoka mphamvu yako ichepa.” Kholo lina linavomereza kuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri ndimakatenga Diana kusukulu kumka naye kunyumba poŵeruka kuntchito. Iye amaloŵa m’galimoto nayamba kulankhula nane zinthu zonse zimene zachitika kusukuluko tsiku limenelo—ndipo nthaŵi zina sindimatha kumvetsera. Ndimakhala nditatopa kwambiri ndi wotanganitsidwa ndi zochitika zanga zatsikulo kwakuti sindingathe kumumvetsera.” Kungaonekere kukhala ngati kukanidwa kwachindunji pamene makolo achita motere, koma kaŵirikaŵiri zimenezi zimangochititsidwa ndi kutopa.

“Nkothekanso kunena kuti,” akutero wolemba nkhani Clayton Barbeau, “makolo anu ali ndi mavuto amene simuwadziŵa. Achichepere ambiri amanyalanyaza mavuto azachuma m’moyo wabanja. Polingalira za malo okhala ndi ndalama za zakudya ndi kusatsimikizirika kwa ntchito zamakono, makolo anu angakhale akuvutika maganizo ndi zinthu zimene sanakuuzeni koma zimene akukambitsirana okha.” Kapena angakhale akusamalira mathayo ena amene ali achinsinsi. Atate wina Wachikristu amatumikira monga mkulu mumpingo wa Mboni za Yehova. Mwana wake wamkazi akunena kuti: “Nthaŵi zina pamene akulingalira za zothetsa nzeru zambiri za mumpingo, amakhaladi amtima wapachala. Iwo amayetsetsa kusatiimba mlandu, koma amakhala otsenderezeka kwambiri kwakuti samatha kuchita zinthu zina.” Pa Miyambo 12:25 pamanena bwino kwambiri kuti: “Nkhaŵa iweramitsa mtima wa munthu.”

Makolo anu angayese mwamphamvu kukubisirani kuvutika mtima kotero. Koma kuli monga momwe mwambi wina umanenera: “Moyo umasweka ndi zoŵaŵa za m’mtima.” (Miyambo 15:13) Nthaŵi zina kuvutika mtima kwawoko kungawakulire, ndipo chinthu chonyong’onya pang’ono chingayambitse kuipidwa. “Nthaŵi zina pamene atate afika kunyumba ataweruka kuntchito,” akutero mtsikana wina wachichepere, “amakhala okwiya chifukwa cha zimene zachitika kuntchito. Ndipo ngati ndaiwala kuchita kanthu kena, pamenepo atatewo amandikumbutsa. Ndiyeno amafunafuna kanthu kamene akhoza kundikalipira nako.”

Tsopano, ndithudi mawu onse onyansa ayenera kupeŵedwa. (Akolose 3:8) Makolo akulamulidwa ndi Mulungu kusakwiyitsa ana awo. (Aefeso 6:4) Komatu ngakhale munthu wolungamayo Yobu, atatsenderezedwa ndi mikhalidwe yovuta, analankhula ‘mwasontho.’ (Yobu 6:3) Chotero musanayambe kuimba mlandu makolo anu mwaukali, dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ineyo ndimachita motani ngati zinthu sizinandiyendere bwino tsikulo kapena pamene ndili wotsenderezeka kwambiri? Kodi nthaŵi zina ndimakhala wofulumira kukwiya kapena wamtima wapachala?’ Ngati ndichoncho, mwinamwake mungakhale wokonda kukhululukira makolo anu kwambiri.—Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 6:12-15.

Wachichepere wina wotchedwa Chad anadziŵa pachiyambi za mmene moyo wa atate wake unaliri wopsinja. “Ndimagwira ntchito ndi atate m’galaja yawo yopaka utoto ndi kukonza magalimoto,” iye akutero, “ndipo ndikhoza kuona tsopano chitsenderezo chimene amakhala nacho. Amakhala pakalipakali tsiku lonse!”

Mavuto m’Zaka Zapakati

Pa 2 Akorinto 7:5 (NW), mtumwi Paulo anavomereza kuti anali ndi “mantha.” Kusinthasintha kwina kwa makolo anu kungayambitsidwe ndi nkhaŵa yobisika. Buku lakuti The Healthy Adolescent limati: “Mofanana ndi mmene achichepere amalimbanirana ndi mavuto awo, makolo nawonso amalimbana ndi mavuto a uchikulire. Makolowo amakhala akuyandikira zaka zawo zapakati, zimene, mofanana ndi zaka zauchichepere, zili nyengo zovuta zodzala ndi mavuto akeake.”

Kwa makolo ena kuzindikira kuti akuyamba kukalamba nkovutitsa maganizo. “Ndinayamba kulingalira kuti moyo wanga unali kutha,” anatero atate wina. “Ntchito yanga sinalinso yosangalatsa konse, ana anga anali kukonzekera kuchoka panyumba, ndinadziona kukhala nkhalamba, ndipo sindinathe kuganiza kanthu kalikonse kokayembekezera koma kungopuma pantchito.” Pamene inu mukusangalala kukhala mu “unyamata,” iwo angakhale akuvutika ndi zopweteka za m’thupi zimene zimadza ndi kukula. (Mlaliki 11:10) Mwachitsanzo, amanu angakhale akuvutika ndi kusintha kwa mahomoni ndi panyengo ya kuleka kusamba zimene kaŵirikaŵiri zili zonyong’onya—kutopa, kumva msana, kulumaluma m’thupi, ndi kukhala wosinthasintha, kungotchulapo zinthu zingapo.b

Pamene muyandikira kwambiri uchikulire, mpamenenso makolo anu amayamba kuona kunena zowona kwa mawu a Baibulo pa Genesis 2:24 akuti: “Mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake.” Eya, inu mungakhale mutayamba kale kutenga njira zazikulu za kukhala wosadalira pa iwo! Buku lakuti Talking With Your Teenager limati: “Zimenezi zingakhale zopwetekadi m’mtima. . . . Ife [makolo] tingalingalire kuti sitikukondedwa monga kale . . . Kaŵirikaŵiri ana athu amatalikirana nafe, osalabadira kwambiri, odzitetezera kwambiri. Kufuna kwawo kusakhala nafe, kukadzionera, kukadzipangira zosankha kapena kudzilinganizira makonzedwe awo popanda thandizo lathu kumasonyeza kuti sitili ofunika kwambiri m’miyoyo yawo monga momwe tinaliri poyamba.”

Chifukwa chake, kuli kosavuta kuona kuti nthaŵi zina makolo anu angakhale osinthasintha kapena amtima wapachala pankhani zophatikizapo kudzilamulira kwanu kowonjezereka. Steve wachichepere akuti: “Makolo anga amaiŵalaiŵala. Ungawauze kuti ukumka kokayenda, ndiyeno nkukufunsa pambuyo pake kuti, ‘Ukupita kuti kodi?’ Umanena kuti, ‘Ndakuuzani kuti ndikukaseŵera volleyball.’ Iwo amati, ‘Sunatiuze konse,’ ndiyeno amayamba kukuzazira. Zimenezi zimachitika nthaŵi zonse.” Komatu zimene munganene kuti nkukuvutani kapena kukalipa zingangosonyeza chikondi chawo chachikulu ndi nkhaŵa yawo pa inu. Iwo amadziŵa mmene dzikoli laipira, ndipo ngakhale kuti amazindikira kufunikira kwanu kwa kudzilamulira, panthaŵi zina amaopera ubwino wanu. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Akorinto 11:3.) Iwo angachite zinthu mopambanitsa kapena kuchita zinthu mosinthasintha. Kodi muyenera kuleka kuwakonda?

Kulingalira Makolo

Pamene munali wachichepere, mungakhale mutaona makolo anu monga odziŵa zonse ndi amphamvu zonse. Pamene musinkhukirapo ndi kukhala anzerupo, mwinamwake zophophonya zawo zimaonekera kwambiri. Ndipo pamene makolo ali osinthasintha kapena okalipakalipa, kungakhale kosavuta kuyamba kuwanyoza. Koma Baibulo limachenjeza za ‘kuchitira kholo chiphwete.’ (Miyambo 30:17) Ndiponso, zingachitikedi kuti siiwo okha amene amasinthasintha m’banja mwanu. “Nthaŵi zina nanenso ndimakhala wosinthasintha,” mtsikana wina anavomereza motero. Mwinamwake ndinu wamtima wapachala, wokwiyakwiya, kapena wosalankhulika koposa mmene mudziŵira.

Mulimonse mmene ziliri, mmalo mwa kusuliza makolo anu, yesani kukulitsa ‘kuchitira chifundo’ ndi kuwamvera chisoni. (1 Petro 3:8) Monga momwe nkhani yotsatira mumpambo uno idzasonyezera, zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kulimbana ndi kusinthasintha kwawo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 23]

Makolo ambiri amangokhala atatsenderezeka maganizo ndi zofunika zambiri za moyo