Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingamayendetse Bwanji Chibwenzi ndi Munthu Amene Ndikufuna Kukwatirana Naye Ngati Akukhala Kutali?

“Ndinali nditangoperekeza gulu la nthumwi za pa msonkhano wamitundu yonse wa Mboni za Yehova pamene zinkabwerera ku Hotela komwe zinkakhala. Ndinali nditatsala pang’ono kuti ndizibwerera ku nyumba, koma nthaŵi yomweyo kagulu kenanso kanali kudutsa. Ndinaima kuti ndilankhule nawo, ndipo ndinakumana ndi Odette. M’kati mwa mlungu womwewo tinakumananso. Tinakambirana zakuti tizilemberana makalata ndipo mkupita kwa zaka pamene tinazoloŵerana, tinayamba chibwenzi.”—Tony.

DZIKO tsopano silikukhalanso ngati lalikulu. M’zaka zaposachedwa ulendo wa pandege wakhala wotsika mtengo, pali matelefoni padziko lonse, makalata amayenda mwamsanga, ndiponso Internet zapangitsa kuti mpata usamavute wakuti anthu ayambe zibwenzi. Mwinanso kukhala ndi chibwenzi kutali ndi kwanu, mwina makilomita mazana kapena zikwi kungakhale kosangalatsa—makamaka ngati kwanuko n’kovuta kupeza banja.

Kwa ena, kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wakutali kunawakhalira dalitso. “Tony anati, “Takhala pabanja kwa zaka 16 tsopano.” Ena akhoza kunena kuti kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wakutali kuli ndi ubwino wakuti aŵiriwo amafika podziŵana bwino maumunthu awo popanda kunyengeka ndi maonekedwe athupi kumene kumachitika munthuyo akakhala pomwepo. Ngakhale kuti pangakhale ubwino, kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wakutali kuli ndi mavuto ake apadera.

Kudziŵana Maumunthu

Kuli bwino kudziŵa bwino kwambiri munthu amene mukulingalira zokwatirana naye. Komabe, monga mmene mwamuna wina wokwatira, Frank ananenera malinga ndi zimene anakumana nazo, “si kwapafupi kudziŵa bwino umunthu wa munthuyo, ‘munthu wobisika wamkati.’” (1 Petro 3:4) Doug, Mkristu amene anali pa chibwenzi ndi mtsikana wakutali, anati: “Ndikakumbuka zakumbuyo, ndimadziŵa kuti sitinafike podziŵana bwino.”

Koma kodi n’zothekadi kudziŵa bwino munthu amene amakhala kutali makilomita mazana kapena zikwi? Inde, koma pafunikira luso kwambiri. Doug anati, “Tinalibe ndalama zoti n’kumaimbira matelefoni, choncho tinkalemberana makalata kamodzi pamlungu.” Koma Joanne ndi Frank anapeza kuti kulemberana makalata sikunali kuwakwanira. Joanne anati, “Poyamba tinkalemberana makalata ndiponso tinkaimbirana matelefoni. Kenaka Frank ananditumizira wailesi yojambula mawu. Mlungu ulionse tinkajambula tepi yatsopano.”

Chilungamo, ndiyo Njira Yokha Yofunika

N’koyenera kukhala oona mtima mosasamala kanthu kuti mukugwiritsa ntchito njira yanji yolankhulirana. Mkazi wina wapabanja koma wachikristu, dzina lake Ester anati, “Ngati unama, tsiku lina zidzaululika ndipo zidzawononga ubwenzi wanu.” “Aliyense akhale woona mtima kwa mnzake. Iwenso usadzinyenge wekha. Ngati pali kenakake kamene simukugwirizana, osalola kuti mungokasiya. Kambiranani.” Mtumwi Paulo anapereka malangizo abwino akuti: “Lankhulani zoona yense ndi mnzake.”—Aefeso 4:25; yerekezerani ndi Ahebri 13:18.

Kodi ndi nkhani ziti zimene simuyenera kuleka kukambirana? Onse omwe ali pachibwenzi ayenera kukambirana nkhani monga za zomwe amafuna kudzachita m’moyo wawo, ana, mmene azidzapezera ndalama, ndi thanzi lawo. Komabe, pali zina zimene zimafunika kuzisamalira kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, mmodzi—kapena nonse—mudzachoka kupita kwina mukadzakwatirana. Kodi mukufuna, ndipo kodi mudzatha kutero, malingaliro anu ndi okonzeka kutero? Mukudziŵa bwanji? Kodi munayamba mwayendapo kale kapena kukhala kutali ndi banja lanu kwa nthaŵi yaitali? Amene ankafuna kudzakhala mwamuna wa Joanne ankafuna kuti onse azikatumikira pa likulu a Watch Tower Society, afalitsi a magazini ano. Joanne anati, “Iye anandifunsa ngati ndingathe kukhala m’kachipinda kochepa ndili ndi ndalama zochepa. Tinakambirana zimenezi.”

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wa kudziko lina, kodi mukufuna kutengera chikhalidwe china? “Kodi m’kamakhala mumasangalala ndi chikhalidwe cha wina ndi mnzake tsiku ndi tsiku?” Anafunsa motero Frank. “Kambiranani nkhani zikuluzikulu zimenezi chibwenzicho chitangoyamba. Ngati mudziŵa zimenezi mwamsanga, zidzakhala bwino—malingaliro anu asanazike kwambiri pa chibwenzicho ndiponso musanatayirepo ndalama zambiri.” Kumakhala pakati pa anthu achikhalidwe china tsiku lililonse n’kosiyana kwambiri ndi kungoyendako kwa masiku ochepa. Kodi mukafunikira kuphunzira chilankhulo china? Kodi mukakwanitsa kusintha zinthu zambiri zokhudza mmene mumakhalira? Komanso mwina mumakonda chikhalidwe chawo koma simumkonda munthuyo kwenikweni? Zikakhala choncho n’zosakayikitsa kuti kukonda kumeneku kudzatha n’kupita kwa nthaŵi. Koma anthu aŵiri akakwatirana safunikira kuti alekane.—Mateyu 19:6.

Tony anati: “Ndimadziŵa mtsikana wina wa kudziko lina amene anakwatiwa ndi munthu wina wa ku zisumbu za Caribbean. Koma anapeza kuti kukhala pazisumbu kunali kovuta kwambiri. Nthaŵi zonse kunkatentha, ndipo anayamba kudwala. Chakudyanso chinali chamtundu wina, ndiye anayamba kukumbumbukira abale ake. Ndiye anayesera kukhala kudziko la kwawo. Koma mwamunayo anapeza kuti kumeneko anthu ndi okonda chuma kwambiri, ndiponso kunalibe abale ake ndi mabwenzi monga amene anali nawo kwawo. Pali pano anapatukana; mwamunayo amakhala kwawo, ndipo mkaziyo amakhalanso kwawo. Ana awo aŵiri sapeza chikondi ndi chisamaliro chopezeka mwa kukhala ndi makolo onse aŵiri.”

Palinso vuto lina lokwatira munthu wakutali, kapena wachikhalidwe china. Kodi ndinu wokonzekera kumawononga ndalama zina zambiri zoyendera ndi kulembera makalata ndi kuimbira matelefoni? Lydia akukumbukira kuti: “Phil ankanena mocheza kuti tinkafunikira kukwatirana chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zonse ankalipira ndalama zambiri za telefoni, koma tsopano timalipira ndalama za telefoni yomwe ndimaimbira amayi!” Koma bwanji ngati mukhala ndi ana? Ena amakula osadziŵa abale awo, satha ngakhale kulankhula nawo patelefoni chifukwa chosiyana zilankhulo! Apa sitikunena kuti mavuto amenewa ndi osatheka. Komabe munthu ayenera kuŵerengera mtengo wake pamene akufuna kumanga banja la mtundu umenewu.—Yerekezerani ndi Luka 14:28.

Kodi Kwenikweni Iye ndi Wamakhalidwe Otani?

Kodi mungadziŵe bwanji kuti mnzanuyo akukuuzani zonse ndiponso kuti n’zoona? Mateyu 7:17 amati: “Mtengo wabwino uliwonse upatsa zipatso zokoma.” Kodi iyeyo ntchito zake ndi zotani? Kodi zochita zake zimagwirizana ndi zimene amanena? Kodi zomwe wakhala akuchita kumbuyoku zimasonyeza kuti zimene akunena kuti akufuna kudzachita m’tsogolozo n’zoona? Ester ananena kuti, “Chinthu choyamba chimene tinafuna kudziŵa ndi chakuti tili ndi zolinga zotani zauzimu. Iye anali atatumikira monga mlaliki wa nthaŵi zonse kwa zaka zisanu ndi zitatu, ndipo zimenezi zinandipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti ankanena zoona kuti ankafuna kupitiriza.”

Koma bwanji ngati munthu amene muli naye pachibwenziyo akuoneka kuti sakufuna kunena zoona ndipo akuzembazemba? Musaisiye nkhaniyo n’kumalingalira kuti zonse zidzayenda bwino. Fufuzani kwambiri! Funsani kuti N’CHIFUKWA CHIYANI? Mwambi umati: “Uphungu wa m’mtima mwa munthu ndiwo madzi akuya; koma munthu wozindikira adzatungapo.” (Miyambo 20:5) Mwambi wina umati, “Wachibwana akhulupirira mawu onse; koma wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.”—Miyambo 14:15.

Pamaso Mpamaso

Komabe, mukhoza kudziŵa zochepa chabe za munthuyo mwakungolemberana makalata kapena kumangoimbirana telefoni. N’zokondweretsa kuona kuti mtumwi Yohane analembera abale ake achikristu makalata. Ngakhale kuti n’zoona kuti makalata amenewa anawayanjanitsa kwambiri, Yohane anati: “Pokhala ndili nazo zambiri zakukulemberani, sindifuna kuchita ndi kalata ndi kapezi; koma ndiyembekeza kudza kwa inu, ndi kulankhula popenyana.” (2 Yohane 12) Chimodzimodzinso, palibe chimene chingakhale chabwino kuposa kupeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi munthuyo. Zingakhalenso bwino kwambiri kuti wina wa inu apange ulendo kupita kwa mnzakeyo kuti mukakhalirane pafupi. Izi zikhoza kuthandizanso kuti amene wayendayo aone mmene nyengo ilili ndiponso mmene anthu amakhalira kudziko kumene kudzakhale kwawo kwatsopano.

Kodi ndi motani mmene mungathere nthaŵi yanu pamodzi moyenera? Muzichita zinthu zimene zingapangitse kuti aliyense khalidwe lake lionekere. Phunzirani Mawu a Mulungu pamodzi. Muone mmene aliyense amachitira pa misonkhano ya mpingo ndiponso mu utumiki wa m’munda. Muzichitira pamodzi ntchito yapanyumba, monga ngati kusesa ndi kukagula zinthu. Zikhoza kukhala zothandiza kwambiri kuona mmene munthu winayo amachitra ngati ntchito yam’panikiza.a

Muyeneranso kupeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi abale a mnzanuyo. Yesetsani kugwirizana nawo. Chifukwa aŵirinu mutadzakwatirana, amenewo adzakhala anthu a m’banja lanu. Kodi mumawadziŵa? Kodi mumagwirizana? Joanne anapereka langizo lakuti: “Ngati zingakhale zotheka, n’koyenera kuti mabanja onsewa akumane.” Tony anati: “Mmene mnzanuyo amachitira ndi abale ake ndimo mmenenso azidzakuchitirani.”

Kaya pa chibwenzi chanu mumaonana maso ndi maso kapena mumaimbirana telefoni mwina makalata, pewani kuchita zinthu mofulumirira. (Miyambo 21:5) Zitadziŵika kuti simudzatha kukhala bwino ngati aŵirinu mutakwatirana, ndiye kuti zingakhale zanzeru kukambirana zakuti chibwenzicho chithe. (Miyambo 22:3) Komanso mwina n’kutheka kuti chikungofunika ndi kukhalira limodzi nthaŵi yaitali kuti mumasukirane ndi kukambirana moona mtima.

Kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu amene ali kutali kukhoza kukhala kovuta, komanso kukhala kopindulitsa. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, ndi nkhani yovuta. Fatsani. Dziŵanani bwino. Ndiye ngati mulingalira zakuti mukwatirane, nthaŵi imene munali pa chibwenzi iyenera kukhala yosangalatsa, osati yodandaulitsa.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 22]

Chibwenzicho chitangoyamba, onetsetsani kuti mukukambirana nkhani monga za cholinga chanu m’moyo, za ana, ndi za mmene muzidzapezera ndalama