Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndichititse Opaleshoni Kuti Ndikhale Wokongola?

“Ndisanakachititse opaleshoni mphuno yanga, ndinkavutika kwambiri chifukwa chakuti anthu ankandiseka. Sikuti ndinkafuna mphuno yokongola, koma ndinkangofuna mphuno yondiyenera basi. Ndikusangalala kwambiri ndi mmene ndimaonekera atandichita opaleshoniyo, ndipo ndikhoza kukachititsanso ina ngati nditafunikanso kutero.”—Eleni.a

“Ine sindingatengeke ndi maganizo a anthu pa nkhani ya maonekedwe abwino. Nditasintha maonekedwe a thupi langa pochititsa opaleshoni, ndikhoza kumadziona ngati ndalama yachinyengo, osati yeniyeni.”—Mathias.

“Aliyense amayenera kuganiza yekha zochita. N’kovuta kwambiri kuti wina anene kuti kuchita mwakutimwakuti n’kulakwa kapena ayi.”—Manuela.

“ALIYENSE wokongola kwambiri kuposa ine ndiye kuti wadzola zodzoladzola.” Kwa nthaŵi yaitali ku Germany, anthu omwe amadziona kuti si okongola kwenikweni akhala akugwiritsa ntchito mwambi woseketsa umenewu pofuna kudzilimbitsa mtima. Komabe, m’mayiko ena masiku ano, mwambiwu ungasinthidwe, n’kumanena kuti: “Aliyense wokongola kwambiri kuposa ine ndiye kuti anamuchita opaleshoni.” Inde, opaleshoni yochitidwa pofuna kuti munthu aoneke wokongola ili ponseponse tsopano.

“Nthaŵi yoti opaleshoni yodzikongoletsa azichititsa ndi anthu olemera okha idapita,” inatero nyuzipepala ya Neue Zürcher Zeitung ya ku Switzerland, ndipo inawonjezera kuti: “Pali zizoloŵezi ziŵiri tsopano: Amuna ochuluka akupeza chithandizo kwa madokotala a opaleshoni yokongoletsa munthu . . . , ndipo tsopano atsikana ayamba kuchuluka pa gulu la akazi omwe akuchitidwa opaleshoniyi.” Atafufuza ku Germany, anapeza kuti anthu pafupifupi 20 pa 100 alionse mwa anthu omwe anafufuzidwa a zaka zoyambira pa 14 mpaka 29, anali atachititsa kale opaleshoni yodzikongoletsa kapena anali kukonza zokachititsa opaleshoniyi kapenanso anali ataiganizirapo.b N’kutheka kuti ena mwa anzanu, ophunzira nawo sukulu, kapena achibale anu anachitidwa opaleshoni kuti azioneka bwino.

Nanga inu bwanji? Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo zochititsa opaleshoni kuti muzioneka bwino? Kodi mumaganiza kuti makutu anu ndi oimirira kwambiri, kuti maŵere anu ndi akuluakulu kapena ang’onoang’ono kwambiri, kuti mimba kapena ntchafu zanu ndi zikuluzikulu kwambiri, kapena kuti mphuno yanu ndi yonyansa? Ngati ndi choncho, si inu nokha amene mukuvutika ndi malingaliro ameneŵa. Kagulu ka atsikana ophunzira kusukulu za sekondale kanalemba m’nyuzipepala ina ya ku Germany nkhani yomwe inanena kuti: “Palibiretu mtsikana wa msinkhu wathu yemwe penapake sanakhalepo wosakhutira ndi thupi lake.” N’kwachibadwa kulakalaka kukhala wokongola ndiponso wokondedwa kwambiri. Komano kodi opaleshoni ndiyo njira yothetsera vutoli?

Kodi Ndiyo Njira Yothetsera Mavuto Anu?

Taganizirani za achinyamata omwe mumawadziŵa. Kodi mungadabwe kumva kuti ambiri mwa iwo, mwinanso ngakhale ena omwe inuyo mumawaona kuti ndi okongola, sasangalala ndi mmene amaonekera? Komatu ndi momwe zimakhalira nthaŵi zambiri. Funso ndi lakuti, Kodi mukuganiza kuti onse akufunika opaleshoni yokonza malo ena ake? Kapena mukuganiza kuti kwa ambiri a iwo zingakhale bwino ataphunzira kukhutira ndi maonekedwe athupi lawo? Kodi mfundo imeneyi ingagwirenso ntchito kwa inu?

Mawu a Eleni akusonyeza kuti opaleshoni yodzikongoletsa nthaŵi zina ingathetse kusekedwa ndi kuvutitsidwa. Komabe, opaleshoniyi sithetsa zonse. Singaloŵe mmalo mwa ukhondo, womwe umathandiza kwambiri kuti munthu azioneka bwino. Ndipo ngakhale kuti dokotala wa opaleshoni angasinthe mmene mumaonekera, iye sangasinthe khalidwe lanu, kapena kukuchotserani nkhaŵa ngakhalenso kukuthandizani kuti muzidzipatsa ulemu.

Kumbukiraninso kuti, zipatala zina kapenanso madokotala ena amalonjeza zinthu zomwe sangazikwanitse. Iwo kwenikweni angaoneke ngati akukulonjezani kuti mupeza chimwemwe. Komatu kunena zoona, iwo angakhale akungofuna kukudyerani ndalama osati kukupezetsani chimwemwe. N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti, alipo madokotala ena achabechabe omwe angam’chite munthu opaleshoni yomwe sikufunika kwenikweni, yomwe mwina singayende bwino, kapenanso yoyambitsa mavuto ena, malinga ngati munthuyo angathe kupereka ndalama.

Palinso zinthu zina zam’tsogolo zofunika kuzilingalira. Mwachitsanzo, chinthu chomwe munganyansidwe nacho muli ndi zaka 16 chingadzasinthe kwambiri mukadzafika zaka 21. Dr. Urs Bösch, yemwe ndi dokotala wa opaleshoni yokongoletsa anthu, ananena kuti: “Nthaŵi zambiri, achinyamata safunika opaleshoni yokongoletsa munthu. Maonekedwe a thupi la wachinyamata ndiponso mmene iye amadziŵira thupi lakelo zimasintha pamsinkhuwu.” Komanso, nthaŵi zambiri achinyamata amafunika kuwachitanso maopaleshoni ena okonza malo ena ndi ena olakwika. Ndipo thupi lanu likamakula, nazonso zipsera za opaleshoni zingathe kumakula.

Lingalirani Mavuto Omwe Angakhalepo

Baibulo limatilangiza kulingalira za mavuto omwe angakhalepo tisanachite chinthu chofunika kwambiri. (Luka 14:28) Achinyamata ambiri sangakwanitse kuchititsa opaleshoni yodzikongoletsa chifukwa cha ndalama zomwe zimafunika. Ndipo ndalama zimenezi sizingaphatikizepo kukapimitsanso opaleshoni itachitika kapena kukonzanso malo a opaleshoniwo ngati zingafunike kutero.

Pali anthu ambiri omwe awononga ndalama komanso thanzi lawo chifukwa cha opaleshoni. Malinga ndi bungwe la ku America loona za opaleshoni yosintha maonekedwe a munthu, zoopsa zina zomwe zingachitike chifukwa cha opaleshoniyi ndizo kutupa kwa kanthaŵi kochepa, zipsera zokhalitsa, kusadziŵa kuti wakhudzidwa ndi chinthu ndiponso mavuto okhudza kuyamwitsa, ngakhalenso kutaya magazi ambiri. Mwachitsanzo, Anna anabwerera lokumbakumba pamene ankamuchita opaleshoni yomuchotsa mafuta m’thupi. Iye akudandaula kuti: “Panopo ndili ndi zipsera zochititsa mantha ndiponso chiboo chachipsera pamimba panga.” Ponenapo za maopaleshoni ochotsa mafuta m’thupi, nyuzipepala ina ya ku Germany inati: “Malipoti onena za mavuto ena akuluakulu, ngakhale a imfa zimene akuchuluka.” Musaiŵale kuti: “Opaleshoni ndi opaleshoni basi, ndipo ili ndi mavuto ake,” malinga ndi mmene chikalata china cha zaumoyo chotchedwa Apotheken Umschau chinanenera. Chotero, musanachititse opaleshoni iliyonse, makamaka yomwe sikukhudzana ndi matenda, ganizirani mosamala kwambiri za mavuto omwe ingadzayambitse.

Mwinanso mungadzifunse kuti: ‘Kodi anthu ndidzawapatsa malingaliro otani? Kodi ndidzawapatsa malingaliro akuti maonekedwe a thupi ndiwo ofunika kwambiri kwa ine? Kodi anzanga kapena azing’ono anga adzakhudzidwa motani ndi zomwe ndingachite?’c

Zolinga Zanu

M’pofunikanso kuganizira mofatsa kwambiri za zolinga zanu. Mwinanso kungakhale kovuta kuti muzidziŵe bwino. Mwachitsanzo, mwina mungafunike kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ndikufuna kuti anthu asiye kundiseka chifukwa sindioneka bwino penapake? Kapena n’chifukwa cha kunyada? Kodi ndikufuna kusintha maonekedwe anga chifukwa chotengera azinzanga, otsatsa malonda, kapena katswiri winawake wosangalatsa anthu? Kodi ndikufuna kufika pa kukongola kwinakwake komwe manyuzipepala, mawailesi, ndi ma TV amalimbikitsa kwambiri masiku ano?’

Ena amaganiza kuti kuoneka bwino kungawathandize kupeza mosavuta munthu wokwatirana naye kapenanso ntchito yabwino. Komano kunena zoona, kodi anthu onse amene mukuwadziŵa omwe ali m’banja ndi okongola? Nanga bwanji anthu onse amene ali pantchito? Ayi, kuloŵa m’banja kapena kupeza ntchito sizidalira kwenikweni pa maonekedwe a munthu. Komanso, kodi n’koyenereradi kutaya ndalama ndiponso kuvutika ndi opaleshoni chifukwa cha munthu wodzaloŵa naye m’banja kapena bwana woikira mtima kwambiri pa maonekedwe anu osati makhalidwe anu?

Pamene mukuganizira mofatsa za zolinga zanu, kambiranani maganizo anu ndi makolo anu kapena mnzanu woganiza mwachikulu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti chiwalo chanu chinachake chilidi ndi vuto, afunseni kuti akuuzeni maganizo awo ochokera pansi pamtima. Osangodalira galasi ayi. Ponenapo za momwe timaonera zolakwika pa matupi athu, Nana anati: “Umada nkhaŵa kwambiri ndi cholakwikacho kusiyana ndi mmene ena amachitira chifukwa chakuti umadziona uli ndi malingaliro ena ake.” Akatswiri a kafukufuku pa yunivesite ya Landau, ku Germany, anafotokoza kuti nthaŵi zambiri anthu amaganiza za opaleshoni yodzikongoletsa, “osati chifukwa chakuti chiwalo china cha thupi lawo sichikuonekadi bwino, koma chifukwa chakuti chikuoneka ngati sichikuoneka bwino kwa mwini wakeyo.”

Musapupulume, koma ganizirani mofatsa. Onani kuti akakuchitani opaleshoni sangathe kudzakubwezerani mwakale. Mulimonsemo, n’zodziŵikiratu kuti mudzafunika kuwapirira kwa kanthaŵi ndithu mavuto obwera mukachitidwa opaleshoni.

Kukongola Kwanu Kofunika Kwambiri

Chimwemwe sichibwera chifukwa cha maonekedwe anu. Ngakhale kuti maonekedwe angakupangitseni kukhala wodzilemekeza kwambiri kapena kukhala wosalemekezedwa, chofunika kwambiri ndicho umunthu wanu ndi maganizo anu. Atalimbana ndi vuto lake lomwe n’kutheka kuti akanafa nalo, Anna anati: “Ndadziŵa kuti kukongola sikukhudzana m’pang’ono pomwe ndi maonekedwe.”

Ngakhale kuti Baibulo limayamikira kukongola kwa maonekedwe, limasonyezanso kuti kukongola kumeneko sikofunika kwambiri kuposa kukongola kwauzimu. Limati: “Kukongola kungonyenga, maonekedwe okoma ndi chabe; koma mkazi woopa Yehova adzatamandidwa.” (Miyambo 31:30; 1 Samueli 16:7) Kukhala ndi malingaliro ameneŵa kungakuthandizeni kukhala aufulu m’maganizo, ngakhale mutamanyansidwa ndi maonekedwe anu enaake.

Kaya musankha kuchita zotani, kumbukirani kuti panopo n’zosatheka kuti munthu akhale wathupi langwiro ndiponso kukhala wachimwemwe chenicheni. Aliyense ali ndi chinachake cholakwika. (Aroma 3:23) Palibe chimene mungachitepo pankhani imeneyi. Chomwe mungasinthe ndi munthu wanu wa mkati—amene Baibulo limatcha kuti “munthu wobisika wamtima.” (1 Petro 3:3, 4) Dzikonzeni mwa kukulitsa makhalidwe okongola m’maso mwa Mulungu. Palibe vuto lililonse lomwe lingabuke kapenanso ndalama zilizonse zimene mungawononge, ndipo mphoto yake ndi yosaneneka!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 17]

Kodi “vuto” limene limakupangitsani kuti musamaoneke bwino ndi vutodi, kapena kodi mukufunika kusintha momwe mumadzionera?