Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Miseche ndi Yoipa Bwanji?

“Ku sukulu kwathu, ili ngati mliri. Kulibe mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena ndewu—koma kuli miseche. Ndilo vuto lalikulu.”—Michelle wazaka 16.a

ENA amati ndi yosangalatsa. Ena amati ndi yowononga. Imapezeka kwambiri m’magazini, m’manyuzipepala, ndi pamapologalamu a pawailesi yakanema. Imapangitsa nkhani zambiri kukhala zosangalatsa. Kodi iyo ndi chiyani? Kukamba za anthu ena ndi nkhani zina zokhudza iwo okha, nthaŵi zina kumatchedwa miseche.

Mwinamwake palibe chinthu china chimene chimatipangitsa kukhala atcheru kwambiri kuposa mawu akuti, “Kodi mwamva zachitika posachedwapa?” Mawu otsatira kuchokera pamenepo akhoza kukhala zoona kapena zopeka—kapena zonse, izi pang’ono izinso pang’ono. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, chiyeso chakuti mulowetsedwa nawo n’kuchita miseche chikhoza kukhala champhamvu kwambiri. Lori wazaka 17 anati, “N’zovuta kuti ukhale wosachita chidwi ndi nkhani za anthu ena. Pamakhala kugwirizana kosaneneka ndi anzako ndipo pamene wapeza kanthu kosangalatsa, umafunika kuwauza.”

Chifukwa Chake Timachita Zimenezo

N’chifukwa chiyani timaona miseche ngati yosangalatsa? Chifukwa chimodzi n’chakuti anthu ndi zolengedwa zokonda kukhalira pamodzi. M’mawu ena, anthu amakonda kudziŵa za anthu ena. N’kwachibadwa kuti sipatenga nthaŵi tisanayambe kukambirana zomwe zikuchitikira ena mwa anzathu ndi omwe timawadziŵa.

Kodi izi ndi zoipa? Osati nthaŵi zonse. Kawirikawiri, kukambitsirana kumeneku kumapangitsa kuti tidziŵe zinthu zofunika monga kuti ndani akukwatirana posachedwa, ndani amene wabereka mwana posachedwa, ndipo ndani akudwala. Ngakhale Akristu oyambirira ankakamba zomwe zangochitika kumene zokhudza okhulupirira anzawo. (Aefeso 6:21, 22; Akolose 4:8, 9) Kunena zoona, kukamba za anzathu ndiponso amene timawadziŵa ndi njira imodzi imene timalankhulirana ndi kukhala paubwenzi wabwino.

Kuipa kwa Kuchita Miseche

Komabe nthaŵi zina tingakambe za anthu ena osati chifukwa chowadera nkhawa koma chifukwa cha kanthu kena. Mwachitsanzo, Deidra mtsikana wazaka 18,—anati: “Anthu amachita miseche kuti atchuke. Amaganiza kuti [atchuka] ngati akudziŵa nkhani yabwinopo kuposa zimene angouzidwa kumene.” Chifukwa chofuna kusangalatsa ena, wochita misecheyo akhoza kusintha nkhaniyo. Rachel wazaka 17 anati, “Ngati ukuidziŵa bwino nkhaniyo umatha kuisintha. Pamangokhala ngati poyambira chabe, ukhoza kuisintha nkhaniyo kuti ikhale monga mmene ukufunira.”

Nthawi zina, miseche imakhala njira yobwezera. Amy wazaka 12 anati, “Ndinafalitsa mbiri yabodza yamzanga. Ndinachita zimenezo chifukwa ananenapo zina zake za ine.” Zotsatira zake? Amy anati, “Poyamba ndinkaganiza kuti, ndabwezera. Posapita nthaŵi ndinayamba kudandaula kuti ndachitiranji, kunali bwino ndikanangokhala chete.”

Dokotala wa zamaganizo anati n’kwapafupi kudziŵa mmene miseche imachitira, “monga moto umene umakula n’kufika pomawononga zinthu.” (Yerekezerani ndi Yakobo 3:5, 6.) Zimenezi zikachitika zotsatira zake zimakhala zoopsa. Mwachitsanzo, bwanji ngati chinthu china chimene chinayenera kukhala chachinsinsi chaululika? Kapena bwanji ngati misecheyo ndi yabodza ndipo mwakuifalitsa mukungoipitsa mbiri ya munthu wina? Bill wazaka 12 anati, “M’modzi mwa anzanga anayamba kufalitsa mbiri yakuti ndimamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, zimene sizinali zoona. Zimapweteka kwambiri.”

Kuthetsa Miseche

Ndi zifukwa zabwino Baibulo limati “Lilime lili ndi mphamvu pa imfa ndi moyo.” (Miyambo 18:21) Inde, mawu athu atha kukhala ngati zida zomangira kapena zida zowonongera. N’zachisoni kuti anthu ambiri lerolino amagwiritsa ntchito lilime monga chida chowonongera. Ali monga aja analongosoledwa ndi wamasalmo Davide “Amene anola lilime lawo ngati lupanga, napiringidza mivi yawo, ndiyo mawu akuwawitsa; kuponyera wangwiro mobisika.”—Salmo 64:2-4.

Amene amafuna kukondweretsa Mulungu sayenera kufalitsa nkhani zabodza, chifukwa Baibulo limati, “Milomo yonama inyansa Yehova.” (Miyambo 12:22) Kufalitsa kapena kuuzako ena mphekesera imene ukudziŵa kuti si yoona ndi kunama, ndipo Baibulo limati Akristu ayenera ‘kutaya zonama’ ndiponso ayenera ‘yense azilankhula zoona ndi mnzake.’—Aefeso 4:25.

Choncho musananene chilichonse chokhudza munthu wina, muzidzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ndikuidziwa bwino nkhaniyi? Kodi ndikanena zimenezi zipangitsa kuti omwe akundimva aleke kulemekeza munthu amene ndikumutchulayu? Ngati zili choncho, kodi cholinga changa ponena zimenezi n’chiyani?’ Kumbukiraninso kuti: Si kuti ngati nkhaniyo ndi yoona ndiko kuti muli aufulu kuifalitsa—makamaka ngati nkhaniyo iipitsa mbiri ya wina.

Funso linanso loyenera kudzifunsa n’lakuti, ‘Kodi kuchita miseche kwangaku kukhudza motani mbiri yanga?’ Inde, mukamachita miseche mumakhala mukunena kenakake kokhudza inu mwini. Mwachitsanzo, Kristen anati: “Ngati mungathe nthaŵi yaitali kunena za anthu ena, ndiye kuti inuyo simukhala moyo wosangalala.” Lisa anapeza kuti chifukwa cha miseche, mnzake analeka kum’khulupirira. Lisa anati, “Anakayikira ngati angathe kundikhulupirira. Zinali zoipa kwambiri kwakuti ndinayenera kuchita kumusonyezanso kuti angathe kundidalira.”

Ngati mukudziŵika monga wamiseche, anthu adzakuonani kuti ndinu wovuta, ndipo sangafunenso kukhala nanu. Mwambi wa m’Baibulo umati: “Kazitape woyendayenda awanditsa zinsinsi; usadudukire woyasama milomo yake.” (Miyambo 20:19) Koma kodi mukudziŵa kuti mukhoza kuthandiza kuchita miseche ngakhale musanalakhulepo ngakhale liwu limodzi?

Kumvetsera—Mbali Ina ya Miseche!

Nthaŵi zonse pamafunikira anthu osachepera aŵiri kuti pachitike miseche—wolankhula ndi womvetsera. Ngakhale kuti womvetsera amaoneka ngati wosalakwa kwenikweni, Baibulo limanena nkhaniyo mosiyanako. Pa Miyambo 17:4, timaŵerenga kuti: “Wochimwa amasamalira milomo yolakwa; wonama amvera lilime losakaza.” Choncho womvetsera miseche nayenso ali ndi mlandu waukulu. Wolemba nkhani, Stephen M. Wylen, anati, “Mwanjira zina, kumvera miseche n’koipa kwambiri kuposa kulankhula.” Kodi izi zili choncho motani? Wylen anapitiriza kunena kuti, “Pamene mumvetsera mwachidwi, mumam’limbikitsa wolankhulayo kuti apitirize.”

Nanga kodi n’chiyani chimene muyenera kuchita pamene mumva wina akuchita miseche? Musangolekerera zinthu, mutha kunena kuti: ‘Tiyeni tileke nkhaniyi’ kapena, ‘Sizikundisangalatsa kuti tizinena zimenezi. Ndiponso iyeyo palibe pano kuti anenepo mbali yake.’

Koma bwanji ngati amakuthawani chifukwa chakuti simukamba nawo nkhani? Ku mbali ina zimenezi zikhoza kukhala chitetezo kwa inu. Motani? Chabwino, kumbukirani kuti n’zosakayikitsa kuti munthu amene amanena miseche ndi inu adzanenanso za inu kwa ena. Choncho mungadziteteze nokha kuti musadzachititsidwe chisoni mwa kukhala ndi achinyamata ndiponso akuluakulu amene sakhumudwitsa ena chifukwa cha zolankhula zawo. Wylen anati, “Chilichonse chimene mumataya chifukwa chakuti simuchita miseche, posapita nthaŵi mudzaona kuti simunataye kanthu kalikonse koma chabe mwataya tsoka limene likanakumvetsani chisoni. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi mudzasangalala chifukwa mudzakhala ndi mbiri yabwino yakuti ndinu wokhulupirika.”

Chofunika kwambiri n’chakuti mudzakhala ndi dzina labwino pamaso pa Mulungu. Iye amasangalala ndi mmene timalankhulira za ena, chifukwa Yesu Kristu anachenjeza kuti: “Mawu onse opanda pake, amene anthu adzalankhula, adzawaŵerengera mlandu wake tsiku la kuweruza. Pakuti udzayesedwa wolungama ndi mawu ako, ndipo ndi mawu ako omwe udzatsutsidwa.”—Mateyu 12:36,37.

Motero ndi chinthu cha nzeru kutsatira uphungu wa Paulo wakuti: “Muyesetse kukhala chete ndi kuchita za inu eni.” (1 Atesalonika 4:11) Kuchita zimenezo kudzakuthandizani kuti mukhale pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi ena ndiponso mudzakhala ndi mbiri yabwino pamaso pa Mulungu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 25]

“Chida Chachikulu Kwambiri Chochitira Miseche Padziko Lonse”

KODI mwamva zachitika posachedwapa? Pamene inangoyambika electronic mail, kapena kuti E-mail, miseche inayamba kuchitikira pazipangizo zapamwamba. Mlembi Seth Godin anatcha E-mail “chida chachikulu kwambiri chochitira miseche padziko lonse.” Atanena za ubwino wake, iye anachenjeza kuti: “Wina akhoza kuyamba nkhani imene mwina ndi yoona kapena yabodza, koma mwadzidzidzi anthu zikwi zikwi adzadziŵa bwino.”

Anthu ambiri akhoza kudziŵa nkhani za pa E-mail ndipo mwamsanga: Godin anati: “Iyi ndi njira yalankhulirana imene imaphatikiza kufunika kwa nkhani ndiponso mfundo zake zolembedwa momaganizira bwino zomwe zimakafika mwamsanga ndipo amazilandiranso mwamsanga ngati telefoni.” Onetsetsani kuti pamene mukutumiza E-mail, muzifotokoza bwino cholinga cha uthenga wanu. Ndipo mwanjira iliyonse, osauza ena zinthu zimene simunatsimikizire.

[Chithunzi patsamba 24]

N’zosakayikitsa kuti munthu amene amanena miseche ndi inu  . . . adzanenanso za inu kwa ena