Mabanja a Kholo Limodzi Akhoza Kupambana!

1-3. Kodi nchiyani chachititsa kuchuluka kwa mabanja a kholo limodzi, ndipo kodi awo amene alimo akukhudzidwa motani?

MABANJA a kholo limodzi atchedwa kuti “mtundu wa banja lomachuluka mofulumira koposa” mu United States. Mkhalidwewo uli wofanana ndi m’maiko ena ambiri. Chiŵerengero chachikulu kwambiri cha zisudzulo, kuchoka panyumba, kupatukana, ndi kubadwa kwa ana apathengo kwachititsa mavuto aakulu kwa mamiliyoni a makolo ndi ana.

² “Ndine mkazi wamasiye wazaka 28 zakubadwa ndi ana aŵiri,” analemba motero mayi wopanda mwamuna. “Ndikuvutika mtima kwambiri chifukwa sindifuna kulera ana anga popanda tate. Zikuoneka monga palibe amene amasamala za ine. Ana anga amandiona ndikulira nthaŵi zambiri ndipo zimawavutitsa maganizo.” Kuwonjezera pa kulimbana ndi mikhalidwe yoteroyo monga mkwiyo, liwongo, ndi kusungulumwa, makolo ambiri opanda mnzawo amakhala ndi mtolo wa kugwira ntchito kunja kwa banja ndi kusamaliranso ntchito zapanyumba. Wina anati: “Kukhala kholo wekha kuli ngati munthu woŵakha mipira. Pambuyo pa kuyeseza kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, ukwanitsa kuponya mipira inayi m’mwamba umodzi ndi umodzi mobwerezabwereza ndi kumaiŵakha. Koma utangokwanitsa kuchita zimenezo, munthu wina akuponyera mpira watsopano!”

³ Achichepere m’mabanja a kholo limodzi kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi mavuto awo amene akulimbana nawo. Iwo angavutike mtima pamene kholo lawo lichoka panyumba mwadzidzidzi kapena kumwalira. Kwa achichepere ambiri kusakhalapo kwa kholo kumaoneka kukhala ndi chiyambukiro choipa pa iwo.

 4. Kodi timadziŵa motani kuti Yehova amadera nkhaŵa mabanja a kholo limodzi?

⁴ Mabanja a kholo limodzi analiko m’nthaŵi za Baibulo. Malemba amatchula kaŵirikaŵiri za “mwana wamasiye” ndi “mkazi wamasiye.” (Eksodo 22:22; Deuteronomo 24:19-21; Yobu 31:16-22) Yehova Mulungu sananyalanyaze mkhalidwe wawo. Wamasalmo anatcha Mulungu “Atate wa ana amasiye, ndi woweruza wa akazi amasiye.” (Salmo 68:5) Ndithudi, Yehova ali ndi nkhaŵa imodzimodziyo kwa mabanja a kholo limodzi lerolino! Inde, Mawu ake amapereka mapulinsipulo amene angawathandize kupambana.

 5. Kodi ndi vuto lotani limene makolo opanda mnzawo amakumana nalo poyamba?

⁵ Talingalirani ntchito ya kusamalira nyumba. Mkazi amene anasudzulana ndi mwamuna wake akuvomereza kuti: “Pamakhala nthaŵi zambiri pamene umalakalaka kukhala ndi mwamuna pafupi, monga pamene galimoto lako liyamba kupanga phokoso ndipo sudziŵa chochititsa.” Amuna amene analekana ndi akazi awo posachedwa kapena amene anafedwa akazi awo nawonso angavutike ndi kuchuluka kwa ntchito zapanyumba zimene tsopano ayenera kuchita iwo. Kwa ana, kusayenda bwino kwa zinthu panyumba kumawachititsa kuona kuti palibe mtendere ndi chisungiko.

6, 7. (a) Kodi ndi chitsanzo chabwino chotani chimene chinaperekedwa ndi “mkazi wangwiro” wa m’Miyambo? (b) Kodi kukhala wakhama pantchito zapanyumba kumathandiza motani m’nyumba za kholo limodzi?

⁶ Kodi nchiyani chingathandize? Onani chitsanzo choperekedwa ndi “mkazi wangwiro” wolongosoledwa pa Miyambo 31:10-31. Anakwanitsa kuchita zochuluka—kugula, kugulitsa, kusoka, kuphika, kugula munda, kulima, ndi kuyendetsa bizinesi. Chinsinsi chake? Anali wakhama, wogwira ntchito mpaka usiku ndi kuuka mmamaŵa kuyamba ntchito zake. Ndipo anali wolinganiza bwino zinthu, akumagaŵira ntchito zina kwa ena ndi kugwira ntchito ndi manja ake kusamalira ena. Ndicho chifukwa chake anamthokoza!

⁷ Ngati ndinu kholo lopanda mnzanu, samalani kuchita ntchito zanu zapanyumba. Khutirani ndi kuchita ntchito zimenezo, pakuti kutero kumakulitsa chimwemwe cha ana anu. Komabe, kukonzekera ndi kulinganiza bwino zinthu nkofunika. Baibulo limati: “Zoganizira za wakhama [zipatsadi phindu, NW].” (Miyambo 21:5) Tate wina wopanda mkazi anavomereza kuti: “Sindimakonda kuganiza za chakudya kufikira nditamva njala.” Koma chakudya cholingaliridwa pasadakhale chimakhala chopatsa thanzi ndi chokoma kuposa chokonzedwa msangamsanga. Muyeneranso kuphunzira kuchita ntchito zatsopano ndi manja anu. Mwa kufunsira kwa mabwenzi odziŵa, mabuku ophunzitsa, ndi akatswiri othandiza, amayi ena opanda mwamuna akhoza kupaka utoto, kukonza mipope ya madzi, ndi ntchito zina zosavuta zokonza galimoto.

 8. Kodi ana a kholo lopanda mnzake angathandize motani panyumba?

⁸ Kodi kuli bwino kupempha ana kuti akuthandizeni? Mayi wina wopanda mwamuna analingalira motere: “Umafuna kuchititsa ana kusalakalaka kholo linalo mwa kufeŵetsa moyo wawo.” Zimenezo zingakhale zomveka koma kaŵirikaŵiri sizimathandiza mwana. Achichepere owopa Mulungu m’nthaŵi za Baibulo anagaŵiridwa ntchito zoyenera. (Genesis 37:2; Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:6) Chotero, ngakhale kuti muyenera kukhala wosamala kusaunjikira ntchito ana anu, mudzachita mwanzeru kuwagaŵira ntchito zonga kutsuka mbale ndi kusesa m’chipinda chawo. Bwanji osachita nawo pamodzi ntchito zina? Zimenezi zingakhale zokondweretsa kwambiri.

 9. Kodi nchifukwa ninji amayi opanda mwamuna kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi vuto la ndalama?

⁹ Kumakhala kovuta kwa makolo ambiri opanda mnzawo kupeza ndalama zogulira zinthu zofunika, ndipo makamaka amayi achichepere osakwatiŵa zimakhala zowavuta kwambiri.a M’maiko kumene kuli chithandizo cha boma, angachite bwino kumachilandira kufikira atapeza ntchito. Baibulo limalola Akristu kulandira chithandizo chotero pamene kuli kofunika. (Aroma 13:1, 6) Akazi amasiye ndi osudzulidwa amakumana ndi mavuto amodzimodzi ameneŵa. Ambiri, okakamizidwa kuloŵanso ntchito pambuyo pokhala panyumba kwa zaka zambiri, angangopeza ntchito za malipiro ochepa. Ena amakhoza kuwongolera mkhalidwe wawo mwa kulembetsa m’maprogramu ophunzitsa ntchito kapena makosi akusukulu a nyengo yaifupi.

10. Kodi mayi wopanda mwamuna angafotokozere motani ana ake chifukwa chimene ayenera kuloŵera ntchito?

¹⁰ Musadabwe ngati ana anu samakondwera pamene mukufuna ntchito, ndipo musadzimve wamlandu. M’malo mwake, afotokozereni chifukwa chake muyenera kuloŵa ntchito, ndipo athandizeni kuzindikira kuti Yehova amafuna kuti muwasamalire. (1 Timoteo 5:8) M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ana ambiri amasintha. Komabe, yesani kupeza nthaŵi yocheza nawo kaŵirikaŵiri malinga ndi mmene zochita zanu zimakulolerani. Chisamaliro chachikondi choterocho chingathandizenso kuchepetsako vuto la kusoŵa ndalama limene banja lingakhale nalo.—Miyambo 15:16, 17.

11, 12. Kodi ndi malire otani amene makolo opanda mnzawo sayenera kupyola, ndipo angachite motani zimenezo?

¹¹ Ndi kwachibadwa kwa makolo opanda mnzawo kukhala omvana kwambiri ndi ana awo, komabe ayenera kusamala kusapyola malire oikidwa ndi Mulungu pakati pa ana ndi makolo. Mwachitsanzo, pangabuke zovuta zazikulu ngati mayi wopanda mwamuna afuna kuti mwana wake wamwamuna atenge mathayo a mwamuna m’nyumba kapena kupanga mwana wake wamkazi kukhala woululira zakukhosi, akumalemetsa mtsikanayo ndi nkhani zazikulu. Kuchita zimenezo nkosayenera, kumapsinja maganizo, ndiponso kungasokoneze mwana.

¹² Sonyezani kwa ana anu kuti monga kholo, mudzawasamalira—osati iwo kusamalira inu. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Akorinto 12:14.) Nthaŵi zina, mungafune uphungu kapena chichirikizo. Kazifuneni kwa akulu achikristu kapena kwa akazi achikristu achikulire, osati kwa ana anu aang’onowo.—Tito 2:3.

13. Kodi ndi vuto lotani la kupereka chilango limene mayi wopanda mwamuna angakhale nalo?

¹³ Nkosavuta kwa mwamuna kuonedwa monga wolanga woyenera, koma kungakhale kovuta kuti mkazi aonedwe motero. Mayi wina wopanda mwamuna akuti: “Ana anga aamuna ali ndi zimathupi zazikulu ndi mawu aakulu. Nthaŵi zina nkovuta kuti ndisamveke wamantha kapena wofooka polankhula nawo.” Ndiponso, mungakhale mukali kulira maliro a mnzanu wa muukwati, kapena mwina mumadzimva wamlandu kapena mukali wokwiya chifukwa cha kupasuka kwa ukwati wanu. Ngati pali lamulo lakhoti la kugaŵana thayo la kusunga ana, mwina mungaope kuti mwanayo angakonde kumakhala kwa mnzanu wa muukwati wakaleyo. Mikhalidwe imeneyi ingachititse kukhala kovuta kupereka chilango chofunikira.

14. Kodi ndi motani mmene makolo opanda mnzawo angakhalire ndi lingaliro loyenera la chilango?

¹⁴ Baibulo limanena kuti “mwana womlekerera achititsa amake manyazi.” (Miyambo 29:15) Yehova Mulungu adzakuchirikizani kupanga malamulo apabanja ndi kuwasungitsa, chotero musadzimve wamlandu, musakhale wachisoni, wamantha. (Miyambo 1:8) Musafooketse mapulinsipulo a Baibulo. (Miyambo 13:24) Yesani kukhala wololera, wosachita zosiyana, ndi wolimba. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ana ochuluka amalabadira. Chikhalirechobe, muyenera kuganiza za malingaliro a ana anu. Tate wina wopanda mkazi anati: “Chilango changa chinatsagana ndi chifundo poona chisoni chawo cha kutayikidwa mayi wawo. Ndimalankhula nawo nthaŵi iliyonse ndikapeza mpata. Timakhala ndi ‘nthaŵi yocheza’ pokonza chakudya chamadzulo. Ndiyo nthaŵi imene amandiululira zakukhosi.”

15. Kodi kholo lolekana ndi mnzake liyenera kupeŵanji polankhula za mnzake wa muukwati wakaleyo?

¹⁵ Ngati munasudzulana, palibe chabwino chimene chimachitidwa mwa kuvula mnzanu wa muukwati wakaleyo ulemu wake. Pamene makolo anenana mawu oipa zimapweteka ana ndipo potsirizira pake amataya ulemu wawo kwa nonsenu. Chotero, peŵani mawu opweteka monga akuti: “Uchita ngati tate wako!” Mosasamala kanthu za kupweteka kumene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale anakuchititsani, iye akali kholo la mwana wanu, amene amafunikira chikondi, chisamaliro, ndi chilango cha makolo onse aŵiri.b

16. Kodi ndi makonzedwe auzimu otani ponena za chilango amene ayenera kukhalapo nthaŵi zonse m’nyumba ya kholo limodzi?

¹⁶ Monga momwe tafotokozera m’mitu yapitayo, chilango chimaphatikizapo kuphunzitsa ndi kulangiza, osati kukhaulitsa chabe. Mavuto ambiri akhoza kupeŵedwa mwa kulinganiza programu yabwino ya kuphunzitsa kwauzimu. (Afilipi 3:16) Kufika pamisonkhano yachikristu mokhazikika nkofunika kwambiri. (Ahebri 10:24, 25) Nkofunikanso kukhala ndi phunziro la Baibulo la banja la mlungu ndi mlungu. Zoona, sikopepuka kukhala ndi phunziro lokhazikika. Mayi wina wosamala anati: “Utabwerako kuntchito, umangofuna kupuma basi. Koma ndimakonzekera m’maganizo mwanga za kuphunzira ndi mwana wanga wamkazi, chifukwa ndimadziŵa kuti ndi chinthu chofunikira kuchita. Iye amasangalala kwambiri ndi phunziro lathu la banja!”

17. Kodi tingaphunzirenji pa chitsanzo chomangirira cha Timoteo, mnzake wa Paulo?

¹⁷ Timoteo, mnzake wa Paulo mwachionekere anaphunzitsidwa mapulinsipulo a Baibulo ndi amayi wake ndi agogo ake—koma mwachionekere osati ndi atate wake. Komabe, Timoteo anakhala Mkristu wa chitsanzo chabwino kwenikweni! (Machitidwe 16:1, 2; 2 Timoteo 1:5; 3:14, 15) Inunso mukhoza kukhala ndi chiyembekezo cha zotulukapo zabwino pamene muyesayesa kulera ana anu “m’chilango cha Yehova ndi kuwawongolera maganizo m’njira yake.”—Aefeso 6:4, NW.

18, 19. (a) Kodi kusungulumwa kungachitike motani kwa kholo lopanda mnzake? (b) Kodi ndi uphungu wotani umene waperekedwa kuthandiza kulamulira zikhumbo zathupi?

¹⁸ Kholo lina lopanda mnzake linati: “Pamene ndifika kunyumba ndi kuona zipupa zinayizo, ndipo makamaka ana atagona, ndimasungulumwa kwenikweni.” Inde, kusungulumwa ndiko vuto lalikulu kwambiri limene kholo lopanda mnzake limayang’anizana nalo kaŵirikaŵiri. Nkwachibadwa kulakalaka kukhala pamodzi ndi mnzako ndi chikondi cha muukwati. Koma kodi munthu ayenera kuthetsa vuto limeneli mwa njira iliyonse? M’tsiku la mtumwi Paulo, akazi amasiye achicheperepo analola ‘zilakolako zawo zakugonana kupinga pakati pa iwo ndi Kristu.’ (1 Timoteo 5:11, 12, NW) Kulola zikhumbo zathupi kuphimba zinthu zauzimu kungakhale kowononga.—1 Timoteo 5:6.

¹⁹ Mwamuna wina wachikristu anati: “Chilakolako chakugonana nchamphamvu kwambiri, koma mukhoza kuchilamulira. Pamene lingalirolo lifika m’maganizo mwanu, simuyenera kulisunga. Muyenera kulichotsa. Kumathandizanso kulingalira za mwana wanu.” Mawu a Mulungu amalangiza kuti: ‘Fetsani ziŵalozo ku chilakolako choipa.’ (Akolose 3:5) Ngati munali kuyesa kupha chikhumbo chanu cha chakudya, kodi mungaŵerenge magazini osonyeza zithunzithunzi za zakudya zokoma, kapena mudzayanjana ndi anthu amene nthaŵi zonse amalankhula za zakudya? Kutalitali! Nchimodzimodzi ndi zilakolako zathupi.

20. (a) Kodi ndi ngozi yotani imene yabisalira awo oloŵa m’chibwenzi ndi osakhulupirira? (b) Kodi mbeta zinalimbana motani ndi kusungulumwa m’zaka za zana loyamba ndi lerolino?

²⁰ Akristu ena aloŵa m’chibwenzi chotomerana ndi osakhulupirira. (1 Akorinto 7:39) Kodi zimenezo zinathetsa mavuto awo? Ayi. Mkazi wina wachikristu wosudzulidwa anachenjeza kuti: “Pali chinthu china choipititsa kuposa kukhala mbeta. Ndicho kukwatirana ndi munthu wosayenera!” Akazi amasiye achikristu a m’zaka za zana loyamba mosakayikira anagwera m’kusungulumwa, koma anzeru anakhala otanganitsidwa ndi ‘kuchezera alendo, kusambitsa mapazi a oyera mtima, ndi kuthandiza osautsika.’ (1 Timoteo 5:10) Akristu okhulupirika lerolino amene ayembekezera zaka zambiri kuti apeze wokwatirana naye wowopa Mulungu akhala otanganitsidwa mwa njira yofananayo. Mkazi wina wachikristu wamasiye wazaka 68 zakubadwa anayamba kumachezera akazi amasiye ena pamene anasungulumwa. Iye anati: “Ndimapeza kuti poyenda maulendo ameneŵa, kuchita ntchito zanga zapanyumba ndi posamalira mkhalidwe wanga wauzimu, kusungulumwa sikumapezanso mpata.” Kuphunzitsa ena za Ufumu wa Mulungu kuli ntchito yabwino yopindulitsa.—Mateyu 28:19, 20.

21. Kodi pemphero ndi mayanjano abwino zingathandize motani kugonjetsa kusungulumwa?

²¹ Ndithudi, palibe mankhwala amene amathetsa kusungulumwa panthaŵi imodzi. Koma mukhoza kupirira nako mwa nyonga yochokera kwa Yehova. Nyonga yoteroyo imabwera pamene Mkristu “akhalabe m’mapembedzo ndi mapemphero usiku ndi usana.” (1 Timoteo 5:5) Mapembedzero ndiwo kuchonderera koona mtima, inde, kupempha chithandizo, mwinamwake ndi kulira kwakukulu ndi misozi. (Yerekezerani ndi Ahebri 5:7.) Kutsanulira mavuto anu kwa Yehova “usiku ndi usana” kungathandize kwambiri. Ndiponso, mayanjano abwino angathandize kwambiri kusoŵetsa malo kusungulumwa. Mwa mayanjano abwino, munthu angapeze “mawu abwino” achilimbikitso onenedwa pa Miyambo 12:25.

22. Kodi ndi mfundo ziti zimene zingathandize pamene malingaliro a kusungulumwa afika panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi?

²² Ngati malingaliro a kusungulumwa afika panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi—monga momwe adzachitira mwachionekere—kumbukirani kuti palibe munthu amene ali ndi moyo wangwiro. Ndithudi, “gulu lonse la abale anu” akuvutika mwa njira zosiyanasiyana. (1 Petro 5:9, NW) Peŵani kuganizira kwambiri zakumbuyo. (Mlaliki 7:10) Pendani maubwino amene mumapeza. Choposa zonse, khalani wotsimikiza mtima kusunga umphumphu wanu ndi kukondweretsa mtima wa Yehova.—Miyambo 27:11.

23. Kodi ndi thayo lotani limene Akristu ena mumpingo ali nalo kwa makolo opanda mnzawo?

²³ Chichirikizo ndi chithandizo cha Akristu anzanu nchofunika kwambiri. Yakobo 1:27 amati: “Mapembedzedwe oyera ndi osadetsa pamaso pa Mulungu ndi Atate ndiwo: kucheza ndi ana amasiye ndi akazi amasiye m’chisautso chawo.” Inde, Akristu ali ndi thayo la kuthandiza mabanja a kholo limodzi. Kodi ndi njira zina ziti zimene angachitire zimenezi?

24. Kodi mabanja a kholo limodzi amene ali osoŵa angathandizidwe motani?

²⁴ Angapereke chithandizo cha zinthu zakuthupi. Baibulo limati: “Iye amene ali nacho chuma cha dziko lapansi, naona mbale wake ali wosoŵa ndi kutsekereza chifundo chake pommana iye, nanga chikondi cha Mulungu chikhala mwa iye bwanji?” (1 Yohane 3:17) Liwu loyambirira lachigiriki lotembenuzidwa “aona” silimatanthauza kupenya kamodzi chabe, koma kuyang’anitsitsa. Zimenezi zimasonyeza kuti Mkristu wokoma mtima choyamba angadziŵe za mkhalidwe wa banja ndi zosoŵa zawo. Mwinamwake akusoŵa ndalama. Ena angafunikire chithandizo cha kukonza nyumba. Kapena angayamikire kungowaitana kuchakudya kapena kumacheza.

25. Kodi Akristu ena angasonyeze motani chifundo kwa makolo opanda mnzawo?

²⁵ Ndiponso, 1 Petro 3:8 amanena kuti: “Khalani nonse a mtima umodzi, ochitirana chifundo, okondana ndi abale, achisoni.” Kholo lina lopanda mnzake la ana asanu ndi mmodzi linati: “Nzovuta kwambiri ndipo nthaŵi zina ndimavutika mtima kwambiri. Komabe, nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi abale ndi alongo amandiuza kuti: ‘Joan, umachita bwino kwambiri. Udzatuta zabwino.’ Kungodziŵa kuti ena amakuganizira ndi kuti amasamala za iwe kumathandiza kwambiri.” Akazi achikulire achikristu angakhale othandiza kwambiri kwa akazi achichepere amene ali makolo opanda amuna, mwa kumvetsera kwa iwo pamene ali ndi mavuto amene angachite manyazi kukambitsirana ndi mwamuna.

26. Kodi Akristu okhwima angathandize motani ana amasiye?

²⁶ Amuna achikristu angathandizenso mwa njira zina. Mwamuna wolungama Yobu anati: “Ndinapulumutsa . . . mwana wamasiye yemwe wosoŵa mthandizi.” (Yobu 29:12) Amuna ena achikristu lerolinonso amakhala osamala kwambiri ana amasiye ndi kusonyeza “chikondi chochokera mumtima woyera,” popanda zolinga zina zadyera. (1 Timoteo 1:5) Popanda kunyalanyaza mabanja awo, iwo angalinganize kumagwira ntchito ndi achichepere otero mu utumiki wachikristu panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi ndipo angawaitanirenso ku phunziro lawo la banja kapena ku zokondweretsa. Kukoma mtima kotero kungapulumutse mwana wamasiye panjira yachipanduko.

27. Kodi makolo opanda mnzawo ayenera kukhala otsimikiza za chichirikizo chotani?

²⁷ Chikhalirechobe, makolo opanda mnzawo ayenerabe ‘kusenza katundu wawo’ wa thayo. (Agalatiya 6:5) Komabe, iwo adzasonyezedwa chikondi ndi abale ndi alongo achikristu ndi Yehova Mulungu mwiniyo. Baibulo limati ponena za iye: “Agwiriziza mwana wamasiye ndi mkazi wamasiye.” (Salmo 146:9) Inde, mwa chichirikizo Chake chachikondi, mabanja a kholo limodzi akhoza kupambana!