Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kujeda—Nchiyani Chomwe Chiri Chivulazo mu Iko?

“Iwo [ofikira msinkhu] . . . amathera nthaŵi yawo kuimirira m’malo ozungulira akujeda wina ndi mnzake.”—Socrates, c. 400 B.C.E.

‘KODI wamva nkhani yaposachedwapa?’ ‘Ganizira ndiyotani?’ ‘Yembekeza kufikira utamva ichi!’ ‘Kodi ungasunge chinsinsi?’ Zimenezi ziri ziyambi zofala za kusimba nkhani za mtseri, zovutitsa, kapena ngakhale zachilendo ponena za ena—chizoloŵezi chodziŵika mofala kukhala kujeda.

Mofanana ndi m’tsiku la Socrates, achichepere adakali okondabe chizoloŵezicho, ndipo ofufuza amatcha kujeda kukhala nkhani yachilengedwe chaponseponse imene imadutsa fuko, msinkhu, ndi mwambo. Nkulekeranji, popeza kuti mogwirizana ndi Journal of Communication, ngakhale ana aang’ono amajeda, “kwenikweni kuchokera nthaŵi imene iwo akhoza kulankhula ndi kuyamba kuzindikira ena.”

Kujeda kuli m’chenicheni chizoloŵezi cha akazi, cholondola? Cholakwika! Ofufuza Levin ndi Arluke anapenda kukambitsirana kwa gulu la amuna ndi akazi ophunzira pa koleji. Chotulukapo chake? Amuna anatsimikizira kukhala okhoterera ku kujeda mofanana ndi akazi!

Kokha nchifukwa ninji, ngakhale ndi tero, chimene timapezera kujeda kukhala kokondweretsa chotero? Kodi pali chifukwa chabwino chirichonse chokhalira ogalamuka ponena za iko?

Kujeda—Kwabwino, Koipa, ndi Koipitsitsa

Kujeda kuli nkhani yopanda phindu. Mosasintha, ngakhale ndi tero, iko kumasumika, osati pa zinthu, koma pa zophophonya, kulephera, zipambano, ndi masoka a anthu. Kulankhula koteroko sikufunikira kwenikweni kukhala kovulaza kapena kwa kaduka. Ndiko nkomwe, chiri chibadwa cha munthu kukhala wokondweretsedwa mwa anthu ena. Baibulo imakhoza ngakhale kutilangiza ife ‘kumayang’anitsitsa, osati mokondwera ndi zinthu zathu zokha, komanso mokondwera ndi zija za ena.’—Afilipi 2:4, NW.

Chotero, kutalamuliridwa mosamalitsa, kujeda kungakhale kokha kusinthana kwa chidziŵitso chothandiza. Kodi ndimotani mmene mumadziŵira, mwachitsanzo, kuti Mrs. Jones wadwala ndipo afunikira thandizo la kugula zinthu zake, kuti bwenzi lanu John ali wopsyinjika pa kutayikiridwa ntchito yake ya pambuyo pa sukulu, kapena kuti mnansi wanu Sally akusamuka? Kupyolera m’zilengezo za nthaŵi zonse? Ayi, kaŵirikaŵiri kuposa kusatero, zinthu zimenezi zimadziŵidwa kupyolera m’nkhani zamseri—kujeda, ngati mufuna.

Liwu loyambirira la Chigriki logwiritsiridwa ntchito m’Baibulo kaamba ka “ojeda” linachokera ku verebu lomwe linatanthauza “kusefukira ndi mawu.” (1 Timoteo 5:13; A Greek-English Lexicon, lolembedwa ndi Liddell ndi Scott) Tikukumbutsidwa za mawu a pa Miyambo 10:19 akuti: “Pochuluka mawu zolakwa sizisoweka; koma wokhala chete achita mwanzeru.” Lamulo lalikulu m’kukambitsirana limatanthauza kulingalira usanalankhule!

Mzere pakati pa kujeda kosavulaza ndi kovulaza ungakhale waung’ono kwenikweni. Kulengeza kuti ‘John sakugwiranso ntchito pa malo a msika’ kungakhale kokha njira yopepuka ya kusawonjezera kuti ‘John sangathe mpang’ono pomwe kukhalabe pa ntchito’—kalankhulidwe kokhala ndi kunyodola! Ngakhale kuyesera kulankhula chinachake chokoma ponena za munthu wina kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhota. Ndemanga yakuti, ‘Judy ali wophunzira wanzeru koposa m’kalasi,’ ingatsatiridwe mopepuka ndi, ‘Koma kodi wawona mmene iye amavalira?’ Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri koposa, kujeda kungakhale koipitsitsa, galimoto loperekera mabodza ndi mphekesera ponena za winawake.

Kujeda Koipa—Chifukwa Chimene Kumachitikira

Nchifukwa ninji, kenaka, chimene kujeda kaŵirikaŵiri kumayedzamira kulinga ku mbali yoipa? Chinthu chimodzi nchakuti, ‘mtima uli wonyenga,’ ndipo kulankhula koipa kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhutiritsa zosoŵa zina zadyera za malingaliro.—Yeremiya 17:9.

“Kumakupangitsani kudzimva wofunika kudziŵa chinachake chomwe ena sakudziŵa,” akuvomereza tero Connie wachichepere. Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri “chinachake” chimenecho chimakhala kwenikweni mbali ya chidziŵitso chonyodola chonena za munthu winawake. Ena amawoneka kudzimva kuti kuwunikira zolakwa ndi zophophonya za ena kumaphimba zirema zawo. Kwa enanso, kujeda kuli chiwiya chopititsira patsogolo kutchuka kwawo. Iwo amakalamira kukhala kumbali ya wodziŵa kotero kuti akhale oyamba kuwuza ena. Kuti asangalale ndi nthaŵi yachidule m’nyengo imeneyi, iwo adzapereka zinsinsi za mabwenzi awo abwino koposa. Kumbukirani, munthu amene amalankhula kwa inu ponena za ena iye nthaŵi zambiri adzalankhula ponena za inu kwa ena.

Kujeda kungagwiritsiridwe ntchito monga njira yabwino yotulutsira mkwiyo, kupwetekedwa mtima, ndi nsanje. Ena adzasinthira ngakhale kupereka chinyengo ndi cholinga chofuna kuika kupweteka pa winawake amene akukhumudwitsidwa naye. (Yerekezani ndi Miyambo 26:28.) Chotero, mtsikana wina anafalitsa mphekesera kuti mnzake wa pa sukulu anali ndi pakati—mwachiwonekere chifukwa chakuti mnzake wa pa sukuluyo anali kupita kocheza ndi mnyamata yemwe nayenso anakonda.

Kaŵikaŵiri, kujeda koipa kumatulukapo osati mokulira chotero kuchokera ku kaduka monga mmene kumachokera ku kusalingalira. Wa zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 anavomereza tero kuti: “Nthaŵi zina ndimazindikira kuti chimene ndiri pafupi kuchilankhula mwinamwake sichiri 100% chowona, koma chiri chifupifupi monga zowonjezera. Ndimalankhula zinthu ndisanadziletse inemwini—ndipo nthaŵi zambiri zimangondigweranso ine pambuyo pake.”

Kujeda Koipa—Lupanga Lakuthwa Konsekonse

Mosasamala kanthu za chomwe chiri chisonkhezero chake, kujeda koipa kuli lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse. Ku mbali imodzi, iko kungachititse kuvulala kosachiritsika ku dzina ndi kutchuka kwa munthu wina. Monga mmene magazini ya ’Teen inawonera: “Ngati iwe ujeda ponena za anthu ena, kusuliza, kuwulula zinsinsi, kusinjirira kapena ngakhale bodza lenileni, inu mwinamwake mukuika pangozi kapena kuwononga maunansi—ndipo mothekera kwenikweni kutsekereza mabwenzi atsopano kusapangikanso.” Kapena monga mmene Baibulo likuchiikira icho: “Wophimba pa cholakwa akufunafuna chikondi, ndipo iye amene apitiriza kulankhula ponena za nkhani akulekanitsa aja ozoloŵerana wina ndi mnzake.”—Miyambo 17:9, NW; yerekezani ndi Miyambo 16:28.

Ku mbali ina, kujeda kungatembenuke ndi kuvulaza wojedayo. M’malo mwa kudzipezera makutu omvetsera, kujeda kungabale kusakhulupiririka. “Palibe yemwe amajeda angakhulupiriridwe ndi chinsinsi,” ikutero Miyambo 11:13. (Today’s English Version) Ndipo wonenezedwayo motsimikizirika sadzakhala wokondwera ngati ndipo pamene wadziŵa kuti chinsinsi chavumbulidwa kapena cholakwa chafalitsidwa. “Kujeda kumabweretsa mkwiyo mongadi mmene motsimikizirika mphepo ya kumpoto imabweretsa mvula,” ikutero Miyambo 25:23.—TEV.

Yemwe amalankhula mosakomera ponena za ena amakhalanso pa ngozi ya kuwononga unansi wake ndi Mulungu. Kaŵirikaŵiri kulankhula kosalingalirika kumafikira pa kusinjirira. Ndipo Yehova amayanjana kokha ndi “amene sasinjirira ndi lilime lake, sachitira mnzake choipa.” (Salmo 15:1, 3) Ngakhale kuli tero, pamene tifalitsa mphekesera yopanda maziko, ife m’chenicheni tingakhale ndi mbali ku bodza—chinachake chomwe Yehova Mulungu amada.—Miyambo 6:16, 17.

Kupeŵa Msampha wa Kujeda

Chiri chotsatira ku chosatheka kuleka kulankhula ponena za anthu ena—chifupifupi kulekeratu. Koma mavuto ambiri angapeŵedwe ngati mugwiritsira ntchito lamulo lalikulu lakuti: “Chifukwa chake zinthu zirizonse mukafuna kuti anthu achitire inu, inunso muwachitire zotero.”—Mateyu 7:12.

Chimenechi chimatanthauza kukana kumvetsera ku kujeda kovulaza! “Usadudukire woyasama milomo yake,” likulangiza tero Baibulo. (Miyambo 20:19) Ngati inu mumvetsera ku kulankhula kwakaduka kapena kovulaza, inu mukukulekerera iko. Monga mmene wachichepere wotchedwa Rosalyn akuchiikira icho: ‘Anthu amene amamvetsera ku kujeda amangolimbikitsa ojedawo.’ Pambali pa icho, pali nthaŵi zonse nthaŵi pamene mudzapeza ‘kankhani kotsekemerako’ kukhala kokondweretsa kwambiri m’chakuti mulephera kukasunga kwa inu nokha ndi kukhala mbali ya unyolo wopweteka wa kusinjirira.

Chotero yesetsani kutseka kulankhula koipa. Ichi moyenerera sichimatanthauza kupereka ulaliki pa kuipa kwa kujeda kovulaza. Koma mungayesere kusintha nkhaniyo, kutembenuzira kukambitsiranako m’njira yatsopano, kapena kulankhula chinachake chochilikiza ponena za yemwe akukambidwayo. Ngati kunena kopwetekako kupitirizabe, tengani chimenecho monga chothandizira chanu cha kudzikhululukira inu mwini kuchoka m’kukambitsiranako.

Inde, chinachake chingakhaledi chowona—mosatchula kukomeza ndi kusangalatsa, koma kodi ichi kwenikweni chimafunikira kunenedwa? Kodi icho chidzalakwira, kusinjirira, kunyoza, kapena kuchititsa manyazi? Kodi inu mungachinene icho pamaso pa munthuyo? Kodi inu mukanadzimva motani ngati winawake anachinena icho ponena za inu? “Lilime la anzeru linena bwino zomwe adziŵa,” ikutero Miyambo 15:2, “koma m’kamwa mwa opusa mutsanulira utsiru.”

Chotero letsani milomo yanu. Chikunenedwa kuti maganizo aakulu amalankhula ponena za malingaliro, maganizo apakati amalankhula ponena za zinthu, ndipo maganizo aang’ono amalankhula ponena za anthu! Patukani m’kukambitsirana kwanu. Pali zinthu zambiri—kuphatikizapo nkhani zauzimu—zomwe zingapereke chisonkhezero chabwinopo koposa cha kukambitsirana kuposa ndi kujeda kopanda pake, kopweteka.a

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 21]

Wojedayo kaŵirikaŵiri amasangalala kukhala malo apakati a chisamaliro

[Chithunzi patsamba 22]

Ngati inu mumvetsera ku kulankhula kwakaduka kapena kovulaza, inu mukukulekelera iko