Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .
Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Makolo Anga Amandichititsa Manyazi?
Pakatimpakati pa kuphunzira bayoloje m’kalasi, inu muyamba kudwala. Mokutayitsani mtima, apasukulu achita telefoni kunyumba, ndipo pasanapite nthaŵi yaitali amai anu afika mbwe—atavala nsapato zam’nyumba, zokhonyerera tsitsi zaupofu, ndi talauza loipalo lofiira limene amavala panyumba. Atakhutira kuti inu muli m’mavuto aakulu, iwo athamangira komwe muli popanda kudera nkhawa za mawonekedwe awo. Koma inu simukuyamikira konse zoyesayesa zawo za kukuonjolani. Zokha zimene mukuganizira ndizo mawonekedwe awo omvetsa chisoni ndi anyankhalala amene amanu ali nawo. Ndipo pamene ayamba kukusamalirani pamaso pa anzanu am’kalasiwo, inu mukhumba kuti mukanangozimiririka. Mwachititsidwadi manyazi!
ZOCHITIKA zonga ichi zingawonekere kukhala zoseketsa kwa openyerera. Komatu inu simukuseka. Inu mukuchita nazo manyazi, kutsenderezeka kwambiri kotero kuti mukulingalira kuti mukanangofa. Ndithudi, pali mwambi umene unapangidwa wakuti: ‘Kufa chifukwa chochititsidwa manyazi.’ Ndipo sindinu woyamba kulingalira mwanjirayo. Mwachitsanzo, Ayuda akale, anazindikira kuthekera kwa kuvulaza kwa kuchititsidwa manyazi. Talmud Yachihebri inayerekezera kuchititsa munthu manyazi poyera ndi kukhetsedwa kwa mwazi wake!
Pali zinthu zambiri zochititsa manyazi, koma achichepere ambiri amavomereza kuti palibe chochititsa chimene chimaposa makolo awo. Ndandanda ya zinthu zimene makolo angachite zokunyazitsani imawonekera kukhala yopanda polekezera: kukukonderani poyera, kudzitambandira chifukwa cha zipambano zanu, kuchita zaubwana pamaso pa mabwenzi anu, kukukakamizani kuti “muchite” zinthu pamaso pa alendo. Eya, ngakhale mawonekedwe a makolo anu angakunyazitseni! Mposadabwitsa, kuti achichepere ena amachita manyazi ndi lingaliro la kuwonedwa ali ndi makolo awo.
Komabe, kodi nchifukwa ninji makolo anu angakuchititseni manyazi kwambiri chotero? ‘Kodi sadziŵa bwino kwambiri?’ inu mungadabwe motero.
Chifukwa Chake Amakuchititsani Manyazi
Tiyeni tipende malingaliro anu m’nkhaniyi. Pokhala wachichepere, inu muli kwenikweni wofulumira kuchititsidwa manyazi, chifukwa chakuti mwayamba kudziŵa mowonjezereka kuti m’dziko lino muli anthu ambiri kuposa banja lanu. Inu mufuna kuvomerezedwa ndi ena—makamaka anzanu—ndipo mukuyesayesa mwamphamvu kuchita “molondola.” Mwachibadwa, inu simufuna kuvomerezedwaku kuti kufoketsedwe ndi mkhalidwe wochititsa manyazi wa makolo anu. Monga mmene wachichepere wina wotchedwa Linda ananenera kuti: ‘Makolo anu atachita kanthu kokuchititsani manyazi, mumadera nkhawa kuti: “Kodi mabwenzi anga adzandiganizira bwanji?”’ Nangano, nchifukwa ninji makolo anu sangakhalire odera nkhawa ndi maganizo anu?
Katswiri wa nthenda zamaganizo Bernice Berk akusimba mmene mayi wina anauzira mwana wake wa zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 wa mtima wapachala mopambanitsa kuti: “Limenelo ndiro thayo langa, kukuchititsa manyazi. Amai anachititsa ine manyazi, ndipo iwe udzachititsa manyazi ana ako.” Mawu ovutitsa maganizo pang’ono amenewa ngowona. Ayi, kuchititsa manyazi nkosabadwa nako, koma kanthu kena kali: kupanda ungwiro.
Makolo ngopanda ungwiro. (Aroma 3:23) Iwo sayenera kuyembekezeredwa kukhala zitsanzo zongoumba, ndiponso samalamulira chirichonse chimene amanena kapena kuchita, mofanana ndi inu. Iwo ali ndi kuyenerera kwa kusanguluka panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi ndi kukondwera. Panthaŵi zina kuchita zachibwana—kapena ngakhale kuchita zopusa kotheratu—ingakhale njira yawo yolimbanira ndi kukalamba. Mosadziŵa chiyambukiro chimene izi zingadzetse pa inu, amai angakunyazitseni mwakuyeserera dansi yamakono ndi mabwenzi anu; bambo angayese kutsimikizira kuti angapikisane ndi achichepere m’bwalo la mpila wa basiketibolo. Kodi nzochititsa manyazi? Mwinamwake. Koma, kunena mwa ntheradi, iwo sanalingalire za kukuvulazani.
Makolo anu amalingalira ubwino wanu, ndipo chifukwa cha kupanda ungwiro, iwo angachite mopambanitsa pamene ubwino wanu ukuwonekera kukhala ukuwopsezedwa. Mwachitsanzo, wolemba Baibulo Luka akusimba za nthaŵi imene Yesu wa zaka 12 zakubadwa anafika pa Paskha mu Yerusalemu limodzi ndi banja lake. Pamene makolo ake ankabwerera kwawo, anawona kuti iye panalibe. Iwo anamfunafuna mwakhama, ndipo “pakupita masiku atatu, anampeza Iye m’kachisi, analikukhala pakati pa aphunzitsi, namva iwo, nawafunsanso mafunso.” Mosakaikira Yesu anali kusangalala ndi kukambitsirana kumeneku ndi amuna aakulu kuposa iye. Komabe, pamene amake anafika pachochitikacho, mwinamwake pamaso penipeni pa amuna akuluakulu a mtunduwo, iwo anati: “Mwanawe, wachitiranji ife chotero; tawona, atate wako ndi ine tinalikufunafuna iwe ndi kuda nkhaŵa.”—Luka 2:41-48.
Chinthu china chochilingalira ndicho chakuti makolo anu ali ndi mavuto awo, ena amene simungakhale mukudziŵa. Mwinamwake nkhawa zachuma, matenda, kapena zitsenderezo zina ndizo zimene zimachititsa kachitidwe kawoko.
Pomalizira, makolo ambiri amanyadira ana awo. Amasangalala ndi kuwawonetsera. Komabe, ichi chingatsogolere ku mikhalidwe yochititsa manyazi ya mitundumitundu, monga ngati kukupemphani kuti museŵere piyano pamaso pa mabwenzi a amanu kapena kupirira kumva atate wanu akusimbira aliyense yemwe angamvetsere za mmene inu muliri “waluntha”!
Kuphunzira Mochitira Nazo
Pamene makolo ake amchititsa manyazi, wachichepere wina wotchedwa Tonia akuti, “ndimakula mutu kwambiri.” Pamene kuli kwakuti aka kangakhale kachitidwe kachibadwa, pali njira zabwinopo zochitira nazo. Kungokumbukira mfundo zina zimene zatchulidwa pamwambapa kungathandizire kuthetsa manyazi anu oyambirira. (Miyambo 19:11) Ganiziraninso malingaliro otsatiraŵa:
Lekani Kuda Nkhawa: Ndiiko komwe kuda nkhawa konse m’dziko mwinamwake sikudzasintha zinthu. (Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 6:27.) Ndiiko komwe, inu mulibe thayo losamalira makolo anu; ndinu munthu panokha. ‘Aliyense ayenera kusenza katundu wake,’ akutero Agalatiya 6:5. Ndiponso, mkhalidwe wanu suri woipa monga mmene mukuulingalilira. Dr. Joyce L. Vedral ananena kuti ‘wachichepere aliyense wochititsidwa manyazi amaganizira kuti alipo amene akumpenya.’ Komabe, anthu ambiri samakondwera konse. Vedral akuwonjezera: “Anthu ambiri amakhala odera nkhawa moposerapo chipupu pamphuno pawo kuposa mmene aliri ndi mbiri ya banja lanu.” Kumbukiraninso kuti, mabwenzi anu alinso odera nkhawa ndi chiyambukiro chimene makolo awo akupanga!
Musapangitse Mkhalidwe Woipa Kuipiratu: Miyambo 27:12 ikuti: “Munthu wochenjera amawona vuto likubwera ndipo amabisala.” (The New English Bible) Kupereka chisamaliro pa inumwini mwa kunena kuti, ‘Oo, Amai!’ kumangopangitsa mkhalidwewo kuipiratu. ‘Kubisala’ mwa kusanena chirichonse kungakhale kwanzeru.—Mlaliki 3:7.
Landirani Chilango Chofunikira: Kukuwongolerani pamaso pa anthu kungakuchititsenidi manyazi. Koma kaŵirikaŵiri chilango chimakhaladi choyenerera, ndipo kuchititsidwa manyazi ndikodi mbali yake. (Ahebri 12:11) Bwanji ngati chilangocho chiri chosayenerera? Kumbukirani mmene Yesu anachitira ndi kudodometsa kwa amake. Iye anakhala wabata ndi kulongosola mkhalidwe wake. Ndithudi, Baibulo limanena kuti “anapitirizabe kugonjera” kwa makolo ake. (Luka 2:49, 51) Bwanji osayesa kuchita mofananamo?
Lankhulani kwa Makolo Anu: Auzeni mwachikondi ndi mwaulemu zimenedi zikukuvutani. Zimenezo zimagwira ntchito! Kwa Rosalee iye anapeza kuti “mutawauza mmene mumalingalilira, ndipo ngati akulingalira kukhala koyenerera, pamenepo iwo kaŵirikaŵiri adzayesa kudziwongolera.” Njira ina yothandizira makolo kuwona mmene mukulingalilira nkhaniyo ndiyo kuwafunsa za zokumana nazo zochititsa manyazi zimene anakumana nazo pamene anali achichepere. Izi zingawapangitse kuganizira za mkhalidwe wanu.
Sonyezani Chifundo: Tangoganizirani za nthaŵi zonse zimene munachititsa manyazi makolo anu! Kodi munachitira dala? Ndithudi ayi! Chotero kodi nchifukwa ninji mukuganiza kuti makolo anu amalinganiza dala kukuchititsani manyazi?
Musataikiridwe Konse ndi Chikondwerero Chanu: Monga mmene wachichepere wina anavomerezera: “Zinthu zina mumangofunikira kuziyesa ndi kuseka; pambuyo pake zimakhala zoseketsa.” Inde, kodi mungawonerenji chophophonya mwamphamvu? Kumbukirani, pali “nthaŵi yakuseka,” ndipo nthaŵi zina kuseka kumachotsa ululu m’kuchititsidwa manyazi.—Mlaliki 3:4.
Komabe, mulimonse mmene mungayesere, simungapeŵe konse kuchititsidwa manyazi kotheratu. Koma mwa kugwiritsira ntchito zapamwambazi, inu mungakhale wokhoza bwino lomwe kusintha njira imene mumawona nayo chotchedwa mikhalidwe yochititsa manyaziyo.
Mwachitsanzo, mkonzi Jami Bernard akusimba kuti: “Amai wanga nthaŵi zonse anandipangitsa kuwagwiririra dzanja nthaŵi iriyonse pamene tinkadutsa khwalala, ngakhale pamene ndinasinkhuka. Tsiku lina, ndinakankha dzanja lawolo, ndikumadandaulira kuti, ‘Amayi, sindifunikiranso zimenezi.’ Iwo anandiyang’ana ndikunena kuti, ‘Ine ndifuna.’ Sindidziŵa ngati iwo anatanthuza kuti anafunikira winawake woyedzamirako kapena kuti iwo anazolowera nthaŵi imene ndinali ‘khanda’ lawo kapena kuti iwo anafuna kugwirana nane koma sanadziwe mmene anachitira. Koma tsopano pamene ndiwagwira dzanja podutsa khwalala, ndimakhala ndimanyadira—osati mochititsidwa manyazi koma mwachikondi.”—Magazine ya Seventeen, December 1985.